Razorblade Connection
by DemonRogue
Summary: Summary: When it’s all too much you find the best escape you can think of, even if it’s dangerous and deadly. When the world seems too much to bear you find your own relief. And one Harry Potter finds his relief in the cold steel of a dagger. No one knows
1. Crimson Relief for the Golden and Tarnis

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter books. J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters, places, etc. mentioned from the book series.

Summary: When it's all too much you find the best escape you can think of, even if it's dangerous and deadly. When the world seems too much to bear you find your own relief. And one Harry Potter finds his relief in the cold steel of a dagger. No one knows what is under the mask of the Boy Who Lived; they don't see what's under the surface of his carefully built façade. But then two of the most unlikely people find out his secret or secrets as they later find out; Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape and their views of the Gryffindor Golden Boy change when they find all they thought about him to be a lie.

Draco Malfoy's not all he shows himself to be. Behind the sneer and the cold exterior he is hurting inside. With a father like Lucius Malfoy, his life is anything but the glamorous show he acts in. He's got a hard life that no one but the Potions Master knows about. When he finds the one person who could possibly understand what he is going through and it happens to be his enemy, Harry Potter, can both boys put aside their animosity for each other? Or will they drown in their own darkness?

Note1: This takes place in 6th year

Warning: Slash, nothing too serious as I want to work out the friendship before I move to a relationship, so the slash won't be until later. But there will be other slash material (light) but some. There will be mention of abuse, self-mutilation, suicide attempts and alcohol. This is going to be slightly dark – in the way of talk of morbid things.

Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Draco and other miscellaneous couples.

Razorblade Connection

Chapter 1: Crimson Relief for the Golden and Tarnished

The chill of an early November night swept the castle that was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The sky was black in its velvet intensity and glittering white stars were painted across the sky; a quarter moon hanging, with a glow of milk white surrounding it. The Forbidden Forest looked even more darkened and sinister then usual in the cold of November, like the drop in temperature was the cause for the darkness of the feared forest and not the animals and creatures that reside in it.

The Quidditch pitch seemed like a lonely stretch of grass as a light wind blew, followed by the chill of November weather. But there was a solitary figuring sitting in the middle on the pitch that banished the thought of it being lonely. Harry Potter sat in the middle of the pitch on his invisibility cloak that he had brought with him when he had left Gryffindor Tower at eleven. He had offered no explanation to where or why he was leaving and no one bothered to ask. He had walked out to the pitch after that, wanting to be alone and knowing no one came outside when the weather was cold like this. But he loved the cold bite of the winter winds and was not bothered too much by it.

He now sat in a black, long sleeve shirt with the words 'I would like to see things from your point of view, I just can't stick my head that far up my ass' in white that clung to his lithe and lightly muscled chest and torso and baggy dark blue jeans. He had a pair of black combat boots on his feet and he was sitting crossed leg, his head tilted toward the sky. His right eyebrow had a silver barbell in it with hematite balls on each end. In his hand something glinted in the moonlight that dimly shown down on him. Feeling the weight in his hand he remembered what he had come here for and he looked down and saw the objected he was holding.

A butterfly knife rested in his palms; silver, four and three quarter inches, stainless steel blade shining in the beams of the moon and the black handles with their diamond like cuts in them glittered faintly along with the blade. It looked deadly and beautiful at the same time.

Grabbing his wand from beside him he rolled up his sleeves and muttered something almost inaudibly under his breath with a small wave of the wood in his hand. And like the unveiling of a macabre painting, his arms the canvas, red and white lines of scars appeared from wrist to the bunch in his sleeves at the crook of his elbows. Almost every golden tanned space of flesh was marked by a cut, jagged or straight. He set his wand aside and with the finger of his left hand began to trace a few of the scars on his right arm.

The wind swept by him again, the coolness seeping into his skin and making the more recent cuts sting with a pleasurable pain. He hissed lightly at the feeling and bit his lower lip stopping the oncoming moan that wanted to burst from his throat. Picking up the butterfly knife with his left hand, he held it up to the moonlight and leered at it, the steel glaring back at him. He lowered the blade to a space of flesh unmarred on his outstretched right arm, licked his lips gently and pressed the cold blade to his skin. With a sigh he dragged the sharp metal across the flesh.

Blood began to bloom and traveled in a gruesome mockery of a waterfall down his arm; the blade already staining dark cherry red. He paused and this time the moan came as the relief washed over him, taking away the cold ache inside; filling him with an intense pleasure. A relief to the constant pain he felt. Moving the blade up a bit, he made another cut just above the other one with another hiss of pleasured pain. And he felt the cold aching pain withdraw a little more, inching away from the surface like tides of an ocean lapping at the shore and retreating back.

He sat and reveled in the feeling he was experiencing, the all too familiar feelings that he knew only too well. And as he did the blood dripped from his cuts staining the dying grass of the pitch, his pants, his cloak and all he could think about was that wonderful feeling of warmth. But soon the feeling began to fade as he knew it would and he grabbed his wand with his clean hand and cast a cleaning spell to get rid of the blood. The cuts had stopped bleeding and were vividly red against his golden tanned skin; more art to the macabre painting on the canvas of his flesh.

He sighed and recast the glamour spell that he kept on; macabre painting vanishing and smooth unmarred skin taking its place. Rolling his sleeves down he glances at the watch on his left wrist, noting the time. It was 12:45; almost two hours since he had left the common room and he knew, with a pang of disappointment, that he should be getting back. So, pocketing his knife and standing up from his sitting position, he stretched his legs out before reaching down to grab the invisibility cloak he had been sitting on. Tossing it around his shoulders he pulled the hood of the cloak over his head and disappeared from view as he began to walk slowly back to the castle. He lost himself in thought as he let his feet take him to his destination.

It was now his sixth year at Hogwarts after another terrible summer at the Dursley's. Through his depression over the loss of Sirius and other factors surrounding mostly Voldemort and some issues with other things that happened that year he had to also suffer the beatings he got from Vernon who, enraged by the 'freaks' threats, took his anger out on Harry, which wasn't anything new. But Harry was able to find relief in the sharp edge of a knife, like he had since before his third year. That was his secret that no one knew about because he hid behind a mask to make sure no one knew.

But two weeks before school was to start he became fed up with the Dursley's and since Dumbledore and the Order had not came to get him yet and had sent nothing stating he would be leaving, he had packed his things and left Privet Drive. He had then gone to The Leaky Cauldron and got a room for the rest of his stay, only Tom and the Order and his friends knowing he was there. He had decided to take some money for himself from his Gringotts account and went to buy himself some new clothes. Not a whole wardrobe but a nice amount for himself. And, after much contemplation he got his right eyebrow pierced with a couple different piercing to put in it. He also got contacts, since his glasses were very much a hindrance.

When he went school shopping with Hermione and Ron and when he arrived at the platform on September 1 he had let the mask he wore slip back on and once again became Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Golden Boy of Gryffindor who always has hope. And no one questioned him with eyes of concern and worry when he appeared to be coping just fine. Even though inside; in his thoughts he had lost the hope everyone seemed to believe him to have in abundance.

And since the start of term no one questioned him about the incident in the Department of Mysteries, no one held worry or concern in their eyes wanting to know if he was okay, because he was a brilliant actor and he didn't give away the fact he was hurting. He didn't give away the fact he was cold inside with an ache that he couldn't seem to dispense unless he sliced open his flesh and let the crimson liquid escape. He didn't give any of it away and everyone thought he was fine. Even if he paid a lot more attention to his school work than before.

_'__I'm an actor and the world is my stage and the students my oblivious audience'_ Harry thought with a soft snort of amusement.

He looked up and noticed he was just ascending the stairs that led to the tower and was mildly surprised at his ability to do this with only half his thoughts on the task. He shrugged it off as just knowing the castle and kept walking until he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was snoring lightly in her sleep.

He muttered the password to the portrait, the Fat Lady snorted loudly in her sleep stirring slightly and opened up, mumbling something that sounded like "coming in all hours" before returning to snoring, more loudly than before.

Harry rolled his eyes and stepped in, the portrait closing behind him. Scanning the common room, which was empty as he had hoped, he made his way swiftly upstairs to his dorm. His roommates were all sleeping soundly and Harry made his way over to his bed, stuffed his invisibility cloak in his trunk, stripped off his clothes and then pulled on a pair of dark green sleeping pants and hopped into bed. He closed the curtains around his bed casting a silencing and locking spell on the drapes as he had done since school started.

He laid on his back staring up at the ceiling of his canopy for a long time before he finally drifted into a slumber full on nightmares not knowing that somewhere in the lower half of the castle someone was doing the same thing he had earlier.

* * *

Draco Malfoy, the Silver Prince of Slytherin and cold, emotionless aristocrat. Many saw the blonde youth as a malicious, evil bully who got off of making others miserable and unhappy. They all saw Draco as an uncaring, bigoted, haughty bastard with no respect for anyone besides himself. And his father, Lucius Malfoy. 

But Draco wasn't completely like what everyone saw. He didn't, in actuality respect his father as much as he used to, as much as he acted like he did now. There were things in his life that drove him to strive for his fathers praise but that in no way meant he respected the man. Only Severus Snape, Draco's godfather, knew the whole truth of his life growing up with Lucius as a father.

Now Draco sat in his Prefects room in a chair by the fireplace, staring into the seductive dance of the flames. He was wearing nothing but black sleeping pants and you could see scars on his exposed upper body and on his arms, scars usually hid by a glamour spell when need be. In his right hand his fingers were curled around the ebony hilt of a dagger. The hilt had a blood red rose painted on the black surface with a thorny stem and the blade of the dagger was at least four and half inches long and double edged. The ebony gleamed brightly in the firelight, the blade reflecting the flames.

Pressing the sharp edge of the dagger to a spot on the middle of his forearm over an old scar that was almost nonexistent against his pale skin, Draco dragged the blade across his flesh with a light hiss at the relief he felt. The blade cut neatly through the pale moonlight skin and the cherry red of his blood trickled down his arm in dark red rivulets. He held his arm out in front of him, dark red against moonlight white and watched as the blood pooled around his wrist before dripping off the sides and onto the expensive carpet.

Quickly the blonde made two more incisions into his arm, dark red staining moonlight white even more and he sighed at the pleasured pain. This was his release from his problems, from his life. When he felt like it was all too much and that the cold darkness he felt was about to swallow him whole. When he became tired of acting like he had the perfect life and just wanted to show, even if only to himself, that not everything in his life was grand and perfect.

He grabbed his wand up and cleaned up the blood he had shed. He looked at the new cuts and sighed at the lingering feelings of relief he felt; the momentary warmness that engulfed him, having nothing to do with the fire.

He wasn't spoiled like everyone thought he was. His father was never satisfied with the things he did. And when Lucius Malfoy wasn't satisfied with his son, then he taught his son a lesson. The beatings he had received since he was seven years old was nothing to the Cruciatus Curse his father began to use when he was thirteen and had used until he was arrested. No one, but Severus knew about the horrible abuse he had suffered at the hands of a man who claimed to be his father and the cold detachment he received from his mother.

In first year when he went home for Christmas, it wasn't a happy one. He got a thorough beating from his father for 'being shown up by those pathetic excuses for wizards and a witch, a half-blood, a Weasley and a mudblood.' His father had a house elf heal him before he returned to school but his, admittedly, irrational anger toward Potter and his two sidekicks had increased. The summer after that year was full of more beatings but he got through it. Second year, his father had bought him and the Slytherin teams new brooms for the soul purpose that he wanted Draco to show up Potter. Too bad he only wound up making a complete arse of himself, getting the team and his father upset at him. At least the team didn't beat him and call him a worthless excuse. So Granger's comment about him buying his way on the team was a little to close to home and he retaliated by calling her a mudblood. His father had been twice as hard on him that summer and Draco didn't think it was all because he lost a match to Potter, but he didn't know what else it could've been. And that was the summer his father first put crucio on him.

He had picked up the habit of cutting himself after that, sometime in third year. He enjoyed the feeling it brought him, the relief from the cold darkness he had somehow found himself in.

Even through all this he kept up the mask he had been wearing for so long, even after his father was arrested and put into Azkaban last year. Last summer was the best he had had in a long time. But he didn't hold hope it would last because he knew his father would get out, with the help of the Dark Lord most likely.

Draco sighed as the fire was beginning to die slightly and stood up and stretched languidly, his lithe and sinewy form glowing lightly in the firelight. The light muscles of his body rippled with the movement as he stretched almost cat-like and walked from his sitting room to his bedroom and over to his bed, wand and dagger in hand. He set his wand on his nightstand and the dagger in the drawer and taking a vial out, before crawling into his bed, under the black and green covers. Pulling the stopper out of the vial he downed the Dreamless Sleep potion, set the vial on the nightstand and lay on his side, settling in for a night free of the tortures of his dreams.


	2. A Long Day A Hard Night

The Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter books. J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters, places, etc. mentioned from the book series.

* * *

Razorblade Connection 

Chapter 2: A Long Day; A Hard Night

Harry walked into the Dining Hall with Ron and Hermione the next morning, the latter two chatting animatedly to each other as Harry lagged a few steps behind them. He glanced up at the enchanted ceiling noting that it was a pale blue sky with a light scattering of wispy clouds on this Wednesday morning in November.

The trio sat down at their table, Harry opposite Ron and Hermione and next to Dean facing the direction of the Slytherin table and the three began to pile food onto their plates. Harry was moving a little more sluggishly than normal and Hermione noticed as she glanced at the black haired teen.

"Harry are you okay you seem a little more tired than usual? Did you not sleep well last night?" the brown haired girl inquired leaning slightly across the table to look at him closely. His eyes looked a bit more tired, drooping slightly when he normally looks wide away in the mornings and he was moving a little more slowly than normal. She noticed it in the common room before they left but chalked it up to not being fully awake or perhaps preoccupied. But now that she looked again she was curious and concerned.

Harry mentally rolled his eyes at the questions asked to him. Hermione always treated him like he was made of glass and a child at that. She seemed to think her mothering him was okay when all he wished was that she would shut up and leave him be.

"I'm fine Hermione, really, just a bit of insomnia last night that's all, nothing to worry about." He said in that fake cheerful voice he'd been using since having to slip back into the Boy Who Lived mask. When like that nobody ever seemed to see anything wrong with him, which he was grateful for. In truth he had a nightmare of combined images last night. Sirius, Cedric (Now that everything in his life was crashing down on him he had been dreaming of the Tri Wizard Tournament more often and with more clarity), the abuse from Vernon and anything Voldemort related which was just a dream and not a vision last night.

"If you're sure…" Hermione trailed off eyeing him skeptically.

"I'm sure Hermione," he replied and threw her a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes. Hermione instantly smiled back at that smile, seeing her friend was fine and not noticing the smile and the happiness was completely fake as she turned and began chatting with Ron, her boyfriend, on his homework that he hadn't done.

Harry's smile faded some, not fully, as he had to keep the mask in place and began in on a conversation when Ron started talking about Quidditch and the upcoming practice when they played Ravenclaw. He wasn't acting with this discussion since Quidditch and flying were still a part of the things he liked to do and he was thankful the Quidditch ban was removed. Not being able to play Quidditch would have been awful.

Soon breakfast was over and everyone was on their way to their first classes of the day. The three Gryffindors were on their way to potions, their first class of the day. Harry was not in the mood for Snape's usual attitude toward him but knew hoping for a somewhat peaceful class period was useless. He listened absently to Hermione and Ron chatter incessantly about something as they walked, nodding in the appropriate spots.

They walked through the dungeons until they reached the potions classroom and walked in. There was a few other students already there of both the Gryffindor and Slytherin variety. Hermione sat at a seat near the front off to the right and Ron dutifully sat beside her with Harry in the next work bench.

"I wonder who that greasy git will pair us with today," Ron muttered with a scowl on his face. Harry nodded his agreement to this comment. Since coming back this year, Snape had made it well known that he was pairing people up almost every other class, or when the potion required two people, to work together.

"Ron! That's a professor you're talking about and I think pairing us up is a good idea. If you took time to actually pay attention you might be doing better in potions," Hermione scolded with a stern look at the red head. They had heard this speech since the beginning of the year when the looming bat known as Snape began partnering them up.

As Ron and Hermione argued the other students began filing in and taking seats until the whole class was there waiting on Snape to arrive. In a swirl of black robes that snapped dramatically behind him the black eyed potions master came into the room and quickly silence descended.

"You will be working in pairs today," Snape began without preamble, casting his dark eyes around the room. "You will be doing the Pulpa Plaga potion. Can anyone tell me what that potion does?" There was sarcastic hint to his voice as he said this. Hermione's hand went up before he even finished the sentence along with a few others but Snape steadily ignored them and looked directly at Harry before smirking.

"Potter, tell me, what does the Pulpa Plaga potion do?"

Harry inwardly felt himself smirk at this but kept a blank face outwardly. What Snape didn't know was that the Gryffindor had been studying potions to make sure he knew what he needed to.

Just as Snape's smirk was widening, thinking the black haired teen didn't know the answer, Harry spoke.

"Pulpa Plaga is a minor flesh wound potion used in cases where the flesh wound isn't too dire. It can be either drank or poured into the wound but most effective is being poured into the wound so it mingles with the blood." Harry stated voice flat and emotionless. Snape looked fit to burst a blood vessel and the rest of the class was silent staring at the Boy Who Lived like they didn't know who he was.

Snape regained his composure and glared calculatingly at Harry, that ever-present spark of contempt shining. Looking at the teen he smirked again. "Lucky guess Potter, but can you tell me the name of the major flesh wound potion and its use?"

"That would be the Mortiferus Pulpa Plaga potion, or Fatal Flesh Wound potion that works on more dangerous flesh wounds. Wounds that have a more likely chance of killing a person and can only be of use poured into the wound; drinking would have no affect other than a case of nausea because of one ingredient difference; two drops of basilisk blood is used in this potion and when made right the other ingredients counter the deadly affect the blood would normally have." There was a twitch at the corner of Harry's mouth for the smirk he wanted so badly to toss at Snape but they did nothing more than twitch.

Snape seemed to have a hard time processing what had just occurred. His eyes were wide and his mouth in a tight line with a faint angry flush to his face. The students seemed no better, staring at Harry with unattractive gapes. Like open mouthed bass.

"That…is…correct, Mr. Potter. Although I don't know how you knew that considering you're abysmal at potions," Snape gritted out through clenched teeth knowing very well that the wretched Potter boy had improved some this year. "I'll put you into pairs and you are to do the Pulpa Plaga potion in your text books on page 53. You will NOT complain about who I put you with. Partners will be: Greengrass and Brown, Bulstrode and Patil, Weasley and Thomas, Crabbe and Goyle, Parkinson and Finnigan, Granger and Zabini," with a malicious smirk at Harry. "And Potter and Malfoy. Now get to work!" He barked and moved to his desk.

There were multiple groans throughout the room but a glare from Snape stopped that. Ron and Hermione sent Harry sympathetic smiles as they all moved to sit with there partners. Harry sat next to Draco silently as he pulled out his book and supplies.

"Try not to screw up Potter; this isn't only your grade on the line. Merlin only knows why Professor Snape put us together," the blonde muttered as he, too, got out his supplies looking disdainfully at Harry.

"I know this isn't only my grade Malfoy, lets just do the potion with as little talking as possible," Harry said curtly, not in the mood to trade insults with the boy. The Slytherin sneered lightly at him but settled down and both began to work on the potion. Harry took the job of coating the cauldron in lavender oil as the instructions stated to do first as Draco set the fire and began crushing up the snake fangs. They worked in silence preparing the ingredients for the potion.

Once the ingredients were all prepared they got to work on making the potion, only talking when something needed to be added or the potion needed to be stirred.

Snape sat at his desk working on grading papers as the students went about their work. The class passed slowly with only the sound of hushed talking and the bubbling of cauldrons. When there were only ten minutes left to class Snape stood from his desk and began stalking around the room, looking into each pair's cauldron. When he reached the work table that Ron and Dean were at he looked into the cauldron and sneered at the two Gryffindors.

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Thomas, what color is your potion supposed to be?" Snape asked with a condescending lift of his eyebrow. Ron and Dean looked at each other and swallowed before looking around them. Spotting the cauldron next to him which Hermione and Blaise Zabini were working on, Ron looked back at the potions master.

"Uh, it's supposed to be blue Professor," the red head muttered.

"And what color is your potion?" Snape asked and smirked haughtily.

"It's, well, uh, greenish blue, sir," Dean answered in a small voice.

"And do you know why your potion is greenish blue and not blue?" There was that condescending tone again, accompanied by a pointed glare. Both boys looked at each other, completely lost about what they did wrong before looking back at the potions master.

Snape smirked even more at this. "Ten points from Gryffindor each. Honestly, how you two managed to get into this class this year I will never know. Your attempt at making potions is pathetic." Snape spat before moving on. Finally he came to the last pair, which happened to be Harry and Draco and looked into their cauldron. The potion was the perfect blue it was supposed to be, a clear, navy blue.

Snape's lip curled slightly in disdain at the fact that the potion appeared to be perfect. Taking the ladle and scooping up some on the potion, he saw it was the right viscosity as well. Replacing the ladle he glared heatedly at Harry.

"I'm sure Mr. Malfoy did most of the work Mr. Potter," Snape said, still glaring at Harry. He knew this wasn't true though because he had covertly watched the boy as the pair worked and saw he put in as much help as his godson. And he couldn't stand the fact that the Potter boy was at least semi-talented at potions and there was really nothing he could do about it. The brat even did well when working on his own with potions in class. "Five points from Gryffindor for letting Mr. Malfoy do most of the work. And you'd better show up for you detention tonight." He snapped before sweeping (sulking) away to the front of the room, robes billowing.

"Bottle some of your potion and bring it to the front. Also, you are to write a two foot essay on the potion; the Preparation, the process, the ingredients and their properties due on Monday. No Excuses! You're dismissed," He barked.

In a flurry of movement the students began bottling their potions and packing up their things. Draco ladled some of the potion into a vial and put a stopper in it before taking it up to the front as Harry was emptying the cauldron. They made it back to the work table and packed up their belongings in silence, completely ignoring one another. Just as Draco was about to leave he looked at Harry and smirked.

"Good job not messing up the potion Potter," he said mildly condescending before walking out with Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise following him. Harry glared at the blonde's back as he left, sighed and joined Ron and Hermione as they were leaving the class. It looked to be a long day ahead.

* * *

That night at 9:00 Harry began his walk to the potions classroom for his occlumency lesson. He had had to resume taking the lessons with Snape because of a particularly nasty Voldemort episode on Halloween, on Dumbledore's insistence. He was having the lesson two nights a week and this was the second week of their meeting. He wasn't happy about having to take them with Snape again but he was slightly more confident than last year about it. During the summer and his time at the Leaky Cauldron he had figured it might be best to try and learn occlumency, so he had bought books on the subject and read them to get a clearer understanding on the skill. After reading the books he had a bit more understanding of the subject but wasn't as skilled as he should be. Therefore the episode on Halloween and its subsequent consequence of occlumency lessons with Snape. 

He made his way through the dungeons silently, preparing himself for the night to come. He had decided to discard his school robe for the night and now wore slightly baggy black jeans that clung in the right places and a short sleeved dark red shirt with 'I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it' written in black on the front that hugged his chest and stomach. He was sure tonight would be a hard night and that Snape would be unbearable.

He finally arrived at the classroom, took a deep calming breath and knocked lightly on the door.

"Enter." A cold, familiar voice said from inside and, with another deep breath, Harry entered the room and shut the door behind him, then with a small scowl turned to the greasy potions master. "You're late," Snape drawled, a healthy amount of disdain in his voice. Harry looked at his watch, a new one he had bought over the summer and looked at the time. It read 9:35, meaning he was five minutes late, and Snape didn't like anyone to be late on his time. Bastard.

"Sorry Professor," Harry muttered and tried his hardest to sound like he halfway meant it. Instead there was a slightly sarcastic tone to it that shot any chance of sounding sincere.

"Let's get started then Potter," Snape barked, stood from behind his desk and lifted his wand, which Harry just realized had been in his hand which was at his side. Harry knew Snape would give him no warning or time to prepare himself and was immensely relieved he had taken time before coming and on the walk there to prepare his mind, not to mention yesterday when he didn't have a lesson.

"Legilimens!" Snape exclaimed, wand pointed at the Gryffindor. He entered into his mind and Harry watched as small memories played in front of him. Dementors in an alley, his Uncles face purple in rage and shaking in anger, Umbridge's face round and toad-like, a bloody hand with words carved into it. Harry tried to think and with all his power pushed his thoughts into the direction of shielding his mind, remembering what he read.

Suddenly Snape was stopped from the viewing of memories as a large, lush, green forest appeared around him. Shocked he looked around him at the place he found himself in. Some parts of the forest he could see were heavily in shadows, scattered throughout the greenery. Drawing out of the boys mind and ending the spell he looked at the blacked haired teen in front of him, eyes holding a calculating look. He was grudgingly interested in what had happened. In hadn't happened last week when they had started the lessons again and he wasn't sure how the insolent brat had summoned this defense into his mind.

"What did you do?" He asked in a voice not quite curious though not bored either.

Harry looked somewhat unfocused; eyes glazed slightly, sheen of sweat on his brow, a small tremble in his limbs that was almost unnoticeable. The exertion it took to defend his mind had taken a bit of his energy. He wasn't well practiced at putting it up yet, no matter keeping it up all the time. He looked at Snape from where he was kneeling on the floor once he had a bit more balance and remembered the question he had asked.

"I, uh, was shielding my mind," Harry answered, a hint of a question in the statement as if he wasn't entirely sure. And he wasn't. He remembered reading that sometimes people who wanted to or had to learn occlumency had problems shielding their minds and that, for some, picturing a type of defense was best. The book, _Occlumency: Keeping the Unwanted Out_ by Sech Barbin had stated that sometimes people use things like fire, thorns or stone as walls to block out intrusions. Another book, _Blocking the Mind_ by Larson Fimble, had said that envisioning something you thought you could hide yourself in, in your mind, was a good way to help in defending your mind from attacks.

When he had read this he had thought to himself about what would hide him. He had been torn when he thought about it. On the one had he had an inexplicable liking to the shadows and had thought that was a good way to hide himself in his mind. But then he thought about how he saw pictures of lush forests and how those could hide him just as easily. It seemed his subconscious had made the choice for him and combined the two into a wonderful defense for his mind.

"Where did you learn to do that Potter? The forest that came up?" Snape asked still with a calculating frown on his face.

Harry frowned some before thinking how best to tell the man. "Over the summer I bought some books on learning occlumency and they had some good advice that I figured was worth trying." He answered and shrugged his shoulders indifferently. There was an unspoken comment in that statement: They had some good advice that I figured was worth trying that you didn't mention, you bastard.

Snape either didn't pick up on it or he ignored it as he quirked an eyebrow at the boy. He couldn't believe Potter had picked up a book and actually learned something and put it to good use. Granted, the brat wasn't skilled with his shielding but he could be with a little training and time.

"Potter, what books did you get? You were barely sufficient in shielding your mind properly." Snape drawled as he watched the Gryffindor who had straightened up from his leaning position. Harry looked at Snape blankly for a moment, head starting to hurt with the beginnings of a headache coming. Raising his hand to his head, he lightly began to massage his temple with his fingers.

"It was three of them, the books I bought. _Blocking the Mind _by Larson Fimble, _Occlumency: Keeping the Unwanted Out_ by Sech Barbin and _Defense for the Mind _by Ranton Forest." Harry stated with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well those books should adequately aid you in actually SUCCEEDING to block your mind," The potions master sneered condescendingly. "Now let's try again." He poised his wand, arching a brow coolly at the teen. Harry quickly thought of that forest again with its shadowy parts, thought of it protecting his mind and secrets. "Legilimens!" Snape intoned.

Harry felt the invasion into his mind and saw what the greasy bastard was seeing and gritted his teeth, eyes closing, as images flew by him. He saw himself flying on his broom, he saw himself again at the Gryffindor table laughing with his friends and he could see the way it didn't reach his eyes. He squeezed his eyes even more tightly together and focused all his thoughts onto that beautiful forest with its shadowed areas.

Snape was watching the memories until, once again, that lush green forest materialized in front of him and the memories and images stopped. He vaguely noticed that the forest appeared quicker this time before he was pushed out of Potter's mind. He stumbled with the force of it before catching himself on the edge of his desk and straightening, a scowl on his face.

Harry was kneeling on the floor breathing heavily, brow creased, fists clenched and eyes shut. He felt that headache from earlier increase slightly, a dull throb pounding in his head. After a few minutes he regained his bearings and stood up, nodding briefly at Snape.

"That was slightly more adequate than the last time. Let's try again," Snape drawled in an indifferent voice.

And so they went. For the next hour and a half they worked; Snape entering Harry's mind and Harry erecting that forest and pushing him out. He got slightly better each time, erecting the forest and pushing Snape out more quickly. When 10:45 came around they finally stopped. Snape lowered his wand with a small barely noticeable breath and Harry, who was on all fours on the floor, hands clenched into fists, eyes shut tight had harsh pants escaping him.

"That's all for tonight Potter, be here Monday night at 9:00." Snape said as he looked at the Gryffindor who was just standing up shakily. Harry nodded his head slowly, that headache now a full blown migraine and left the potions classroom they had been working in. He started his walk back to Gryffindor Tower, walking slowly. He was tired, his head hurt, his knees and hands hurt and all he wanted was to get to the tower and sleep. Finally reaching the tower he mumbled the password to the Fat Lady and walk in to find Ron and Hermione waiting for him.

"How was it Harry?" Hermione asked with a worried looked as she caught his haggard appearance. He was mildly annoyed by her worry; like he was a child who couldn't tend to himself.

"I'm fine Hermione, just tired." He muttered and began walking toward the stairs.

"You sure mate? You really look bad," Ron called after him.

"Yes guys, I'm fine just need some sleep see you in the morning," he said he kept walking.

"Hold up mate, I'm coming up to." Ron said and the three said there good nights. Harry walked into the dorm and changed clothes, putting on a pair of sleep pants and a shirt before slipping in and falling asleep.

* * *

leftarrow: thanks for the review! Glad you agree with me on that Harry and Draco should be friends first.

Dangerous Lover: I'm glad you liked it! hope you like this chapter too.


	3. Trouble in the Trio

Note: Parseltongue will be underlined when spoken

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Chapter 3: Trouble in the Trio

It was Friday and the end of the week and Harry, Ron and Hermione were just leaving greenhouse four where they had Herbology with Hufflepuff, heading on their way to lunch. Harry was quiet as they made there way to the castle, the crisp November air a welcome chill. Hermione and Ron kept glancing at him worriedly then glancing at each other. Harry didn't look to good. He had looked extremely tired that morning with dark circles under his eyes and a small downwards pull too his lips. His eyes weren't lit that morning looking dull and emotionless. Harry hadn't bothered putting up his mask, he was just feeling way too depressed that morning to care.

Ron and Hermione had noticed the depressed state of the boy and had asked him early what was wrong but he had brushed them off with a flippant excuse of being tired and not sleeping well the night before. Neither had believed him, even when he tossed them a small reassuring grin. When Hermione asked Ron if Harry had talked to him about what was wrong, Ron told her that he hadn't. That he was mourning over Sirius, obviously, and needed a little space.

Hermione wasn't so sure that was all of it, though. She had wanted to talk about Sirius to Harry last year before they left for the summer, letting him know she was there for him, but she didn't getting the chance to. Ron had said maybe it was best to give him a bit of space first and she agreed thinking it a good idea, figuring she would talk to him when he got back to school. She hadn't, though, being too caught up in her blossoming relationship with Ron. Then she saw that Harry had seemed to being coping on his own and not wallowing in guilt, like she thought he would be, and decided she would leave him be until she saw he might need her and Ron.

As they were approaching an entrance from the courtyard, Hermione looked to her black haired friend, eyes full of worry. "Harry, what's wrong? I don't think its all being tired. Have you been sleeping at all these last few nights?" She asked her worry reflecting in her voice that had taken a slightly mothering tone.

Harry growled silently to himself. He didn't want Hermione's constant mother-hen behavior. He could take of himself, thank you very much. He knew she was only being the friend that she is but he couldn't deal with it. He remembered at the end of last year after the Department of Mysteries fiasco when she would send him these looks, eyes full of concern and worry but with an exasperation that seem to say 'I told you so Harry, you should have listened to me' and he just couldn't take it. He took a deep, calm breath and turned to look at her.

"I'm fine Hermione; really, I'm just tired like I said. And no I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights but its nothing to worry about," He said managing a reassuring tone and a smile.

"But if there was something wrong you'd tell us wouldn't you Harry? If there was something bothering you or something to worry about?" She asked pointedly.

"Yes Hermione," Harry answered smiling bigger and more falsely, knowing very well he was lying and feeling nothing but a cold indifference about the whole thing.

"Harry, mate, is the reason you haven't been sleeping have anything to do with You Know Who's?" Ron asked in a hushed voice, eyes wide and slightly panicked.

"No Ron, nothing to with Voldemort," Harry answered, purposefully ignoring the flinch his friend made at the name. Hermione tossed Ron and exasperated look and began a rant about how he shouldn't fear a name and Harry was saved from the questions thinking cynically, that Hermione had finally graduated from stuttering out the Dark Lord's name.

They walked into the Great Hall and over to their seats at the Gryffindor table to start lunch. Harry sat at his place and ate his food somewhat mechanically, not really hungry. He had woken up sometime in the middle of last night from another of his constant nightmares. This one was a jumble of Sirius falling beyond the veil and Vernon beating him bloody. He hadn't gone back to sleep after that feeling the depression and cold emptiness hit him hard. He had gotten his butterfly knife out and sliced a few cuts into his arm but the depression and emptiness carried on too the next day, like he knew it would.

He had been too drained to care that he didn't have his mask in place and went about his day, giving any who asked a flippant excuse of not sleeping the night before. Lunch passed in a daze for him, he got caught up in a discussion of Quidditch with the other guys, looking for all the world like the tired teen he said he was.

When lunch was over the trio went their separate ways; Hermione to her ancient runes class, Ron to the library to work on a paper they had due in potions and Harry, after telling his red haired friend he would meet him and Hermione in Transfiguration, went out to the lake to sit.

He was feeling the heavy wait of depression press in on him as he sat on a rock by the lake. He remembered the dream last night and sighed. He had come to terms with the fact that Sirius's death wasn't completely his fault. Oh, he knew some of the blame was on him. If he hadn't rushed off to save his godfather, if he would have taken the time to THINK instead of being so rash and foolish Sirius would still be here. He had no illusions that he wasn't at least partially at fault.

Like with the Tri-wizard tournament back in his fourth year and the day Cedric Diggory died. He knew it wasn't his fault and he had come to terms with it. He wasn't the one to kill Cedric and while, yes, he had offered to grab the cup at the same time and felt guilty about that, it wasn't his fault that Cedric was killed.

He vowed to himself over the summer after Sirius, that he would try to think things through first. No more needlessly putting his self or others in danger. It was time, maybe, he had thought, to take the Sorting Hat's advice. He would do well in Slytherin, it had said? Well maybe thinking more Slytherin-like was his key. He had denied the accusation that he should be a Slytherin since first year. So using some of that Slytherin cunning may benefit him more than he thought.

He had thought, more than probably healthy, he admitted on what he learned when he first came to this world. All witches and wizards who were bad or would turn bad went to Slytherin, the house of evil and dark people. At first he believed this whole-heartedly; people were only telling him for his own good, he had innocently thought. But that changed in his third year some, though no one knew it. He had thought: Well, if all bad witches and wizards went to Slytherin house then why had Peter Pettigrew been in the noble house of Gryffindor. He betrayed his parents to the Dark Lord, after all.

But he didn't dwell too much on it at the time. Not until fourth year, after finding out Barty Crouch Jr. was posing as Mad-Eye Moody did he begin to think about it again. When he had the time he had asked Sirius if he knew anything about Crouch Jr. and Sirius had graciously told him what he knew about the man. Including that Crouch Jr. had been a Gryffindor when he went to school. Pettigrew and Crouch, both were Gryffindors who became Dark Wizards and Death Eaters and that had gotten Harry thinking.

He had taken it upon himself to research, yes actually research, history and find out if any other former student of Hogwarts went dark and what house they were in. it became a mild obsession at that point, to find this information out. To him, all that was said about all Dark Wizards coming from Slytherin was slowly being torn down in front of his eyes. He was finding the world wasn't so black and white, dark and light, good and evil and he was left feeling lost.

He had started the research only to have to postpone it because of the events of fifth year, only to pick it up again in the summer after fifth year to have something to occupy his thoughts and because he was generally interested in knowing. And after reading and finding out some things he became less lost and understood things more now that he had his own personal opinions and not those of others. That's when he began to think that maybe if he used a bit of that Slytherin side of him, not becoming a Death Eater by any means, but being more cunning and ambitious like many of the Slytherins he may actually be less rash and reckless and more level-headed.

He had been reluctant at first to embrace any Slytherin quality, no matter how much understanding old habits die hard and all that, but realized, after much thought, that he had been using cunning and ambition already since his first adventure in his first year. So he figured he would try to be a little more Slytherin-ish and save his friends from needless danger. Think and plan, instead of rushing in foolishly.

Coming out of his daze he noticed it was turning dark out and glanced at his watch. It was ten minutes until dinner, meaning he missed Transfiguration that afternoon. Swearing half-heartedly, he stood and made his way slowly back to the castle. Just as he was about to make his way to the Great Hall he decided he didn't feel like being confronted by his housemates just yet and went to the kitchens and got something to eat. After eating quickly and chatting with Dobby he left and made his way back to the Tower. The others would be at dinner for at least a half hour more and he figured he might as well enjoy the silence now. Hermione would come down on him the second she saw him.

* * *

Hermione and Ron were making there way back to the Tower with the rest of their house after dinner.

"I'm telling you Ron there's something wrong with Harry! He didn't seem fine today anyway and then he skipped class? There's something wrong and he's not telling us," Hermione complained.

"Hermione, has it ever occurred to you that you may be overreacting here? Maybe he fell asleep wherever he went after lunch and lost track of time. And if something was wrong wouldn't it show, I mean, like he would look worried or upset or something!" Ron said, exasperation tinting his voice.

They stopped briefly as they waited for the others in front of them to walk through the portrait hole before following through. Hermione looked around the common room and spotting Harry in a shadowed corner, tugged on Ron's sleeve and the pair made their way over to their friend sitting in chairs that surrounded the black haired boy.

"Where were you during Transfiguration Harry? Why did you skip class?" Hermione asked bluntly, giving him a piercing look. Harry knew this was coming but it still startled him some.

"I was out by the lake and I didn't skip I just lost track of time as I was thinking," Harry replied looking up from the potions essay he was working on. He closed the parchment in the book and looked to his friends.

"See Hermione, I told you that was probably what happened!" Ron exclaimed rolling his eyes to Harry. Hermione wasn't convinced and narrowed her eyes suspiciously, looking at his face carefully.

"Harry is something wrong? You know you can talk to us right and we'd be there for you," she said, her worry from earlier returning.

"I know Hermione and I'm fine, nothing to worry yourself over," Harry tossed her a small smile.

She wasn't bought this time and with a deep breath she asked, "Does this have anything to do with Sirius, because Harry if your depressed about that you can talk to us. Is that what those sleepless nights were about? Nightmares about Sirius? You can talk to us Harry!" She said with a gentle, cautious tone, like she was trying to calm a dangerous animal.

Harry looked at Hermione with an unreadable look and she was vividly reminded of last year when Harry had been mad at her and Ron for not writing to him.

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it!" Harry snapped glaring at the brown haired girl.

Hermione and Ron looked at Harry, on guard and alert. This was the way Harry had been last year, even before Sirius died and Harry was particularly scary when he was angry. Hermione gathered that Gryffindor courage while staying cautious of Harry's anger.

"Harry we're your best friends! You can talk to us, let us help you Harry," Hermione said ignoring the gentle hand shaking her arm and the attention they were starting to gain from the others in the common room.

Harry was shaking with barely suppressed anger, his face flushed and breathing heavy. He was upset with Hermione for bringing this up, for her mothering him again, for her asking him what was wrong and not staying among those who were blissfully ignorant of his inner struggle. And he snapped at her.

"Maybe I don't want to talk to you Hermione; maybe I don't want to discuss what happened with you! Why don't you go back to snogging Ron and stay out of my business," He yelled, chest heaving, eyes blazing.

"Hey don't talk to her like that Harry, she's just trying to help! There's no need to be jealous," Ron shouted back, face red and looking furious.

"Harry I'm just worried about you," Hermione sobbed, tears gathering in her eyes and trickling slowly down her cheeks. Harry felt that cold indifference again and snarled at the pair.

"Than stop trying to help because I don't want it and worry about something else! Do I complain every time one of you is upset? No! So, don't bug me just because I'm not in a good mood!" He yelled and with that stood up and went up to the dorm.

Ron and Hermione sat in silence looking at each shocked as they heard the frantic rummage from the boys' dorms. The whole common room was silent looking from the pair to the stairs and back, dumbstruck. Then Harry came stomping back down the stairs, his face with an icy look on it and left out the portrait hole without another word leaving a tower full of shocked and confused Gryffindors.

* * *

Furious, Harry had gathered a few things from his dorm before taking off and going to the place he could honestly be alone. He walked down to the first floor of the castle just above the dungeons and walked up to a slab of ordinary looking wall. Making sure no one was around he hissed something in parseltongue. The wall seemed to shimmer and become slightly transparent and he walked through, the wall becoming solid behind him and torches lighting along the walls. The small hall was about fifteen feet long and four feet wide and he walked the distance until he came to an ebony wood door with a snake head baring its fangs made of silver for the door knob and opened it.

He walked in closing the door behind him and sighed, his breath coming out in a gust. The room he was in was the sitting/common room. The floor was covered by a deep emerald green carpet edged in gold. Directly across the room from the door was a huge fireplace that had two snakes on each end of the ledge in poses like they were ready to strike. One snake was made of obsidian with emerald eyes and the other was made of ivory with sapphire eyes. Above the fireplace a large moving picture of a black and red runespoor hung, its bluish black eyes shining.

A plush green three person couch with gold lining sat in front of the fireplace with two black leather armchairs to each side and a coffee table of dark mahogany wood was placed in the center of it all. There was a smaller table to the right of the couch also in dark mahogany. A chandelier with candles made of silver hung from the ceiling, lighting the room sufficiently. The candles were everlasting, never melting or burning out.

He bypassed this after lighting the fire and walked to the door to the right. He had seen everything before having found this room one night after a night nightmare in early October. This room was a library/study room with two walls being filled floor to ceiling with books. From the ceiling hung the same chandelier like in the sitting room, also made of silver. The floor was covered in a black carpet with emerald and gold specks scattered across it. A large desk of a light colored wood resided in the room that had vines carved into it. A high backed, soft, black leather chair went with the desk in the room. Harry walked over and sat at the desk, spreading his work across the surface. There was a door behind the desk that led to a medium sized room that housed a potions lab with potions ingredients of all kinds; rare, common, dark and illegal. The room had brackets with torches in all four corners of the room. The wall to the right was stacked with potions ingredients and a large cabinet to the left held even more ingredients. A work table in the middle of the room sat, ready for a potion to be made.

Looking to the two walls of books Harry ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Show me any books that talk about the Pulpa Plaga and Mortiferus Pulpa Plaga potion," he said clearly, voice weary. Immediately, five books came to him and landed neatly stacked on the corner of the desk. He sighed again and tried to get some work done. After half an hour of reading the same line over and over he gave up, packed his things up and walked back into the sitting room dropping in the couch in front of the fireplace and tossing his bag in the chair.

"What is wrong Harry?" A voice hissed from above him. Looking up Harry looked into the bluish black eyes of the runespoor painting.

"Nothing really just a bad day is all" He replied with a heavy sigh.

"You're lying," the right head of the snake, Erinyes, retorted nonchalantly. "What is really wrong, young snake talker?" 

Harry sighed again and glared half heartedly at the right head of the snake. The critic, who always seemed to know when he was not being truthful. Sometimes it really irked him.

"I've been having a bad day, like I said. I didn't get much sleep and then Ron and Hermione decided that I need to talk about what was bothering me and that turned into a huge argument because Hermione won't mind her own damn business and Ron goes along to please her because that's his girlfriend. And then he gets pissed at me when I yell at her to stay out of MY fucking business and says I'm jealous, which I'm not!" Harry blurted out heatedly, having just babble on telling the snakes everything. It didn't even bother him anymore that he confided in a portrait of a runespoor, having done so a couple other times.

"Are you sure your not feeling the least bit left out?" the left head of the snake, Atropos, asked skeptically.

"No I'm not feeling left out, I like being alone and with them being a couple its easier for me to be alone since their usually wrapped around each other," Harry answered and then grimace. "That was a bad mental image."

"Well what had you so tired and irritable to begin with?" Morpheus, the middle snake head asked curiously.

Harry sighed again. _'I must truly be loosing it to be confiding in a portrait of a snake so much.'_ He thought, shaking his head lightly. "I was tired because of nightmares and those combined with my lack of sleep made my mood a little…annoyed," he said.

"Well sleep, young snake talker, and may your rest be peaceful," Morpheus hissed lightly and Harry nodded, said goodnight and headed to the door on the left.

The bedroom was large with a black carpet covering the floor. A king sized four poster bed of dark mahogany wood occupied the room. The drapes of the bed were a dark blue almost black edged in gold with black sheets, a dark emerald blanket edged in gold and black and green pillows. The posts of the bed were carved like snakes; jaws clamped around the foot of the bed. The front of the foot on the bed had vines carved in it. A dark mahogany nightstand sat to the right of the bed with three drawers with gold handles. To the right of the room two ebony wood doors with gold knobs opens into a large closet. Five feet from the closet on the left is a medium sized fireplace. A dark wood dresser sits to the right of the door to the room. To the left of the room a black wood door leads to a bathroom.

The bathroom was huge with a bathtub the size of a medium sized pool was placed in the floor to the right of the room with several taps of things for a bath. To the back a sectioned off part was a shower that had three showerheads in it and was enclosed by a frosted glass wall with a glass door. The sink was made of white marble that had silver fixtures and a mirror above the sink. A silver chandelier of candles hung in the middle of the bathroom. The walls of the room were cream with gold accents, the floor was tiled in black iridescent tiles and the tiles surrounding the tub were emerald green. A toilet sat in the space between the shower and the sink. A small door in the corner to the right of the tub held towels, wash cloths soap, etc.

After changing clothes Harry laid down in the large bed before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

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**Reviews**

**Tari Faelivrin**: The characterization was easy considering I am a recovered cutter myself. I was self mutilating for 3 or 4 years before I stopped. So I should know how the mind works. The characterization was a mix of my own experience, others experience and what I think our two favorite boys would be feeling. Glad you liked it and i hope you liked this chapter also.

**Dangerous Lover**: I know Harry's perspective might seem a little...weird to you but i wanted a Harry that was more cynical than how most people make him.

**Catseyes348**: I'm glad you liked my description of the occlumency lesson. i had worked on that idea for a couple of days before actually deciding to use it.

**leftarrow**: Thanks for the review! I hope you like the chapter. I couldnt fit in your idea but I had tried cause it was a good idea but I hope you like what i wrote.


	4. The Watching Dragon and Tension in the T...

Note: this is going back to Draco during the time chapter 3 was focused on Harry and then in will move on. Draco's chapter won't be as long as the one focused on Harry.

* * *

Chapter 4: The Watching Dragon and Tension in the Trio rises 

It was lunch time and Draco was on his way to the Great Hall from History of Magic with Crabbe and Goyle following him as he talked to Blaise. He and Blaise hadn't been the best of friends in the beginning, not until third year did they actually begin to become what they were now. Draco could honestly call the dark haired boy beside him his friend, which was something considering most he considered nothing more than casual acquaintances.

"Seriously though, can History of Magic get anymore boring than it is now?" Blaise was ranting about their last class. Again. Draco found it both amusing and annoying as Blaise complained about this class often, but he couldn't help to agree with the other Slytherin.

"Yes I know Blaise. Maybe if they had a more interesting professor people would stay awake in the class," Draco said, his voice mild with sarcasm.

"Well they probably wouldn't but it would be better than a ghost who doesn't speak in anything but a monotone," Blaise replied with a nod of his head.

Draco shook his head at Blaise's antics as they continued on. He was thinking how tired he felt. It was the type of tired not from lack of sleep but from life itself. He didn't show it outwardly, keeping his emotions masked, but inside he felt drained and weary. He thought back to that morning when he received a package of sweets and candies from home. He had suppressed a snort when the beautiful owl had landed in front of him. Everyone thought it was sweets that his mother sent to him, as she had since first year. But the truth was that his mother and father had ordered the house elves to send the care packages to keep up the façade of a loving family.

He didn't know why his mother persisted in doing so now. Even before Lucius was thrown into Azkaban the wizarding world thought his family cold and uncaring dark wizards, and now with Lucius in Azkaban on Death Eater charges this just further cemented the worlds claim. So, why did his mother insist on keeping up the charade? Fact of the matter was that Narcissa didn't care about him and the continuation of care packages was pointless. But that didn't mean he didn't eat them; no point in wasting perfectly good sweets, after all.

He sighed as they walked into the Great Hall and to the Slytherin table. He sat with Blaise next to him and Crabbe and Goyle to the right of Blaise. He piled a little bit of food onto his plate and conversed with Blaise as he ate.

"So have you started your Defense essay yet Draco?" Blaise asked as he munched on his food. He was talking about the project they had received that previous Tuesday where their DADA professor, Aidan Devington, had assigned for them to research and write about the patronus charm and its creator before they attempt it due next Friday.

"Yes Blaise I have, I just have to write up the final copy sometime this weekend. What about you?" Draco asked raising a brow at the other boy.

"Got the research done as you know but I haven't written it yet. Just a bunch of notes as far," the dark haired boy answered with a casual shrug. Draco shook his head with amusement. Blaise was ever the procrastinator sometimes. Lunch passed with light conversation and soon everyone was leaving. Blaise and Draco left on their way to ancient runes leaving Crabbe and Goyle to their own devices.

They walked to the classroom and took their seats in the back on the left side of the room like always, breezing by Hermione who was already there front row center. Soon the rest of the class filed in and the professor began the lesson. Draco only had half his mind on what the teacher was saying, taking notes absently knowing anything he missed he could grab from Blaise later.

The class seemed to pass in a blur to him soon ending and the students packing up. He was preoccupied but couldn't pinpoint a reason for it. He felt restless as he walked with Blaise to their next class, transfiguration. He could feel the fabric of the shirt he was wearing under his robe rubbing against the cuts on his arm, stinging and prickling as he moved, glancing subtly at his arm. They made it to the classroom and walked in noticing Crabbe and Goyle there sitting beside each other. Blaise and Draco walked over taking the seat in front of them, nodding an indifferent greeting to the two.

As the class started he noticed that Potter wasn't in class, though Weasley and Granger were. They were looking a little worried, passing small glancing at the door every now and then as McGonagall explained what they were doing. He briefly wondered where Potter could be, having never known him to actually skip class but brushed it aside as not his concern. What should he care if the Golden Boy was skipping class?

"So you will be using these and animating them into moving. The incantation is 'agito' now all of you try it!" McGonagall said sternly and passed out teacups to everyone.

"Wonder where Potter might be," Blaise said as he watched Draco try the spell. "I mean I've never known him to skip class before."

Draco, who had finally gotten the spell right and had the teacup dancing atop his desk, turned to Blaise with a raised eyebrow. "Blaise, I don't know nor care where Potter may be or that he's skipping class. Probably won't even get in trouble for it. Bloody Golden Boy," Draco spat and glared at the teacup.

"There's a chance he will get in trouble. If I remember correctly McGonagall doesn't let anyone get away with things even her precious Gryffindors." Blaise muttered after he made his teacup dance and twirl across the desktop also. McGonagall walked over then surveying the teacups.

"Well done gentlemen, five points each to Slytherin." She said with a nod walking to the front of the room. "Alright, for homework everyone is to try animating different things. Depending on the object it could be harder to get the spell to work. So you are to try animating different objects and writing about whether you get it to move or not and why. Class dismissed!" She said. Everyone packed up quickly and began to leave the classroom.

* * *

Dinner had passed quickly and the students had headed back to their dorms; Draco to his Prefect room. The blonde had noticed that Potter hadn't shown up for dinner either as he had glanced covertly at the Gryffindor table throughout the meal. From talk through the Hogwarts gossip no had seen Potter since after lunch and no one knew where he was. 

Thinking of Potter made him think back to the beginning of the school year. The minute he saw the black haired boy when he made his yearly trip to their compartment he felt something was different. He couldn't put his finger on it then and couldn't now but he could tell something was different about the raven haired teen that either wasn't there before or he hadn't noticed. And he leaned more toward the latter.

Watching Potter since the beginning of term had shown outwardly that nothing seemed to be different about the boy but Draco being a Malfoy and a Slytherin knew all about masks and hiding. He wasn't positive if the Boy Who Lived was putting on an act for everyone or not but he was positive something was different and he wondered what it was. Whatever it was though, no one, not even his best friends seemed to notice it.

Sitting in a chair by his fireplace in the sitting room he turned over what he'd been noticing of Potter so far this year. Something had change that was for sure. He'd become more skilled in potions this year, able to actually brew one showing he'd actually studied the subject along with the other subjects. He put more effort into his school work and it was noticeable. Potter also seemed much calmer this year, not easily rising to taunts that the Slytherins, himself included, made at him. Not to mention the boy was dressing better than what he used to wear.

Well, Potter wasn't his problem and he could really care less what was going on with him though, admittedly, he was curious to know. With a sigh he decided to start on his homework, pushing thoughts of Potter to the back of his mind. _'Because really_, Draco thought, _'this was Potter and Potter isn't my concern_. And with that thought he began working on his DADA essay.

* * *

Harry awoke early the next morning, way before anyone else he knew. Rising from the large king size bed he decided to head back to the dorm now and take a shower there to keep from getting his secret room discovered. Changing back into his clothes he wore coming down there he grabbed up the back he brought and stepped out of the bedroom. Looking briefly at the runespoor painting he was glad to find the snake asleep and pulled out the Marauders map, tapping it with his wand and saying "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Making sure no one was around the entrance he tapped the map again muttered, "mischief managed" and left the room heading back to Gryffindor Tower. 

He made it to the portrait without any problems, much to his relief, said the password and walked into the common room. No one was in the common room as he knew they wouldn't be and he made his way up to the dorm. Stepping into the room he noticed the others were asleep still but knew that they would soon be waking. Putting his things away he grabbed his clothes and things and walked toward the bathroom. He would get a shower and head down to breakfast before heading out for Hogsmeade. He wasn't ready to deal with Ron and Hermione yet the anger was still simmering in him.

By the time he finished his shower and came back out dressed in a form-fitting dark red short sleeve turtleneck and black baggy jeans that fit snug to his hips, the other boys were already rising from their sleep. Seamus, Dean and Neville looked uneasy as Ron and Harry completely ignored each other, not knowing what to say. Harry walked over to his bed and pulled on his black combat boots. Grabbing his pouch of money and putting it into his pocket Harry walked out the dorm. There was a few people walking around in the common room but Harry ignored the looks he was tossed and walked out the portrait hole.

Making his way to the Great Hall slowly, Harry noticed the few students who were normally up and ready for the day walking to breakfast also. He walked into the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table that had a few third and fourth years already eating. Fixing himself a plate of food, he glanced around the Hall at the other tables. There was a few from each house already down there.

As he tucked in to his breakfast other students began coming in until the hall was filled with eating students chatting joyfully about the Hogsmeade trip. Around the Hall other students and the professors began picking up on the tension among the house of Gryffindor. The table wasn't as boisterous as usual and many noticed the uneasy glances the students of that house were throwing the Golden Trio's way especially. It had many wondering what was going on.

Hermione looked at Harry who she had sat across from with Ron, who was still ignoring Harry and looked at the black haired boy. "Harry," Hermione began in a gentle, cautious voice.

But Harry cut her off with a quiet, "Don't Hermione" and continued eating. He didn't want to hear right then what she had to say. He didn't want her to try and understand what was going on. He wanted her to go back to being oblivious about him like everyone else.

Breakfast passed in a flurry of whispering and wondering between students and professors alike. All were curious about the strain that seemed to be among the Gryffindors, the Trio specifically.

Harry was glad when breakfast was over and they could leave for Hogsmeade. He began his trek to the village alone knowing that somehow by the end of the day all of Hogwarts would know of what happened in the common room last night. _'Because_, Harry thought with no little amount of scorn, _'everything I do or say must be known by everyone_.' With a derisive snort to himself he pushed anything about yesterday and the rumors sure to run wild to the back of his mind. It was Hogsmeade weekend and he was going to enjoy himself at the very least.

When he finally reached Hogsmeade he decided to head to Honeydukes first. He wanted to stock up on a variety of sweets. Walking into the sweetshop he walks around looking into everything. He came across the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans display and picked up two boxes of them. He was debating on whether to get some licorice wands or not as a display of a new candy caught his eyes. Turning to look, he read what was written on the barrel the sweet was in.

Fruit Snaps, it said and according to the description they snapped after five seconds on your tongue exploding your mouth with the particular fruit is taste like. And they had all kinds; cherry, strawberry, grape, sour apple and many more. Interested, Harry grabbed a bag of them and then a hand full of the licorice wands. Picking up some fruit flavored lollipops he went and paid for his candy. He had noticed some of the students who were in the shop giving him strange looks and decided it was best if he left now. Obviously word got around of the common room fiasco.

He browsed around the village lazily stopping in shops every now and then. After checking out Zonko's and Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop (he had needed a new one) he headed over to The Three Broomsticks, wanting a Butterbeer or two. Stepping into the pub he looked around casually as he walked over to a table. He groaned inwardly when he saw Ron and Hermione sitting at a table together. He wasn't ready to deal with them yet. Some of the anger had faded away but he still wasn't ready to talk to them yet, knowing it would end in another argument again because Hermione wouldn't give up trying to figure out what's wrong. But Fate wasn't on his side and Hermione spotted him and got up, approaching him.

"Harry come sit with Ron and I," it sounded more like a demand and Harry sighed knowing he wasn't going to get out of this. Especially with the determined look Hermione had. He nodded once and walked over to the table his two friends were occupying. The silence was thick as Harry sat and the tension you could cut with a knife.

Madam Rosmerta came over then and she looked slightly wary as she could almost feel the anxiety at the table. "What can I get you?" she asked looking at Harry as the other two already had drinks.

"A Butterbeer please," Harry said quietly with a small smile. She nodded and left off.

Hermione looked at Harry who kept his gaze focused of the table. She had been shocked by his outburst last night when she had tried to help and she had been hurt. She didn't understand why her friend would keep something from her if she could help, even a little bit. When she had asked Harry what was wrong last night she had knew it would take a bit of coaxing to get him to talk but she hadn't expected him to blow up about it. As soon as Rosmerta brought his drink and left Hermione took a deep breath and thought how best to approach this.

"Harry, I'm sorry about last night but I was just trying to help you." She said carefully looking at him as he took a sip of his drink, eyes averted from her. "Harry if something is wrong why won't you talk to us?" she was keeping her voice low so as not to attract any attention.

"I told you yesterday Hermione, maybe I just don't want to talk about it. Cant you accept that and leave it?" Harry asked keeping his voice low also. You could here the hint of anger in his tired voice.

"No Harry I can't because you're my friend and if something is bothering you I want to help you. Ron wants to help you too, don't you Ron?" Hermione said and sent a pointed look at the red head.

"Yeah," he mumbled not really looking at Harry. He was still upset with the way he talked to Hermione yesterday.

"Well I'm fine, there's nothing wrong, stop fucking coddling me Hermione. I don't want to talk about anything, not with you, not with Ron, not with anyone!" he hissed trying hard not to shout. He was losing that calm he had worked so hard to maintain and he was afraid of what would happen.

Hermione looked at her friend, not knowing why he was being like this. She wasn't coddling him, she was concerned! She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off.

"Hermione don't, if I don't want to talk accept it. Stop pushing me because YOU want to know what's wrong. Sometimes you can't know everything Hermione." Harry said and with that he finished his Butterbeer and got up to leave. He couldn't stay around here any longer with out another outburst like yesterday happening. He knew Hermione meant well but he didn't want her to continue her annoying, persistent attempts to get him to talk. He left the pub and decided he was going to head back to the castle. It was still early for most students to be going back but he didn't care he had to get away.

He made it back to the castle quickly and headed directly to the Tower. On the way he ran into McGonagall who stopped him and he knew what it was about.

"Mr. Potter where were you for my class yesterday?" She asked sternly. Harry sighed knowing this was coming.

"I had been off thinking and lost track of time Professor." He said sheepishly and gave her a small smile hoping to get off easy.

"Be that as it may Mr. Potter you are to report for detention with Filch on Monday at 8:30. Make sure it doesn't happen again. And the Headmaster wishes to see you after Dinner," McGonagall said briskly and walked off. Harry sighed and made his way to the Tower. Detention with Filch was going to be horrid. No two ways about that. And what did the Headmaster want? Hopefully it wasn't anything bad. Making it to his dorm room he lay on the bed and began reading one of the muggle books he bought that summer, Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, picking up where he had left off.


	5. Talk with Dumbledore and the Concepts of...

Note: Takes place during the last chapter – Saturday; Hogsmeade!

* * *

Chapter 5: Talk with Dumbledore and the Concepts of Black and White 

Harry walked into the Great Hall later for dinner and sat down in his seat. The tension from breakfast had eased slightly but Harry noticed almost everyone glancing at him more than usual. He ignored the stares knowing that everyone must know about his outburst in the common room. He ate dinner quickly avoiding any eye contact and not talking to anyone. Ron and Hermione didn't say anything to him either. He wasn't in the mood for this and he felt himself flushing under all the attention as he could feel the many stares boring into him. He felt like he was being suffocated and he couldn't breathe evenly.

Before dinner was even over he left the Great Hall, walking out calmly despite his being uncomfortable. Once he had walked a few steps from the door he stopped and took a deep breath, regaining his calm composure. He began walking again, heading in the direction of the Headmasters office.

He wasn't completely sure what Dumbledore wanted but he figured it could only be a couple different things. He hadn't been warm toward the old Headmaster since returning and he wasn't ready to be. He blamed the old man a little for the events of last year. He could've tried harder to keep Sirius from coming to the Department of Mysteries that night, Harry knew Dumbledore could've and he was angry that he didn't.

Reaching the gargoyle that guarded the entrance Harry realized he didn't know the password and swore under his breath with a few choice words. Resigning himself to it he looked at the gargoyle and began naming off sweets.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans…Chocoballs…Chocolate Frogs…Uh, Jelly Slugs," Harry said sounding more and more exasperated with each candy named. Why didn't McGonagall give him the password? Just as he was about to name another candy a voice from behind him spoke up.

"Sugar Quills," there was a hint of amusement in the voice and turning around as he had already recognized the voice he came face to face with Albus Dumbledore. "Hello Harry, my boy, lets go up to my office shall we?" the old man asked and swept pass Harry.

Harry let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and followed the man up the staircase and into his office in silence. Dumbledore stopped by Fawkes and petted the red plumage of the phoenix before taking a seat behind his desk. Harry sat in the chair across from him and looked at a point just behind Dumbledore's shoulder. He didn't want to stare the man in the eye, if it was one thing he learned from Snape it was not to stare someone directly in the eyes and he knew Dumbledore was a skilled legilimens like Snape.

"How are you doing Harry?" Dumbledore asked after observing the boy. He noticed something was off with Harry since he had come back that year, even if no one else noticed. He couldn't say what it was but he was positive something was wrong about the boy. He figured in the beginning in had something to do with the death of Sirius and the boy was mourning in his own way but he wasn't so sure anymore. And now the tension among the Gryffindor house, Harry and his two friends specifically, was worrying him. He had noticed the tension hadn't eased much at dinner either.

"I'm doing fine sir," Harry answered softly, tone somewhat cold, moving his gaze to his hands which were on his knees. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. He was sure Dumbledore felt the tension among the Gryffindors, also noticing it centered mostly on him and his friends and was wondering about it.

"Would you like a lemon drop or some tea Harry?" Dumbledore asked gently, looking at the boy in front of him. He had known about him leaving the Dursley's this summer and when he found he was safe he had given him the space he suspected Harry needed after losing his godfather.

Harry shook his head no about the candy and tea and looked up at the Headmaster, not quite in the eyes. "Professor, what is it you wanted?" He asked shortly wanting to get to the point and leave.

Dumbledore looked at Harry over his half moon glasses. He had had a feeling the boy still blamed him for the events of last year but he hadn't been sure until now. "Harry is there anything wrong you'd like to talk about?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so, sir. Why don't you ask what you really want to know and let me leave," Harry replied, keeping his tone polite if a bit cold.

Dumbledore sighed inwardly, he hadn't expected, really, for Harry to be the same way toward him as before but he had hoped he would be. "I noticed some problems among your house; they seemed very tense this morning and at dinner." Dumbledore said softly, casually.

Harry knew this was what it was about and held himself from rolling his eyes and snorting derisively. "It's nothing really, just a little argument between me, Ron and Hermione last night. Things got a little out of hand and were not talking at the moment, that's all."

Dumbledore thought on that a moment as he looked at the black haired teen in front of him. Disputes between friends were something uncontrollable and bound to happen, even to the best of friends. But Dumbledore had a feeling there was something more behind this fight, he was sure of it. "Are you sure that's it?" he said and looked over his half moon glasses, blue eyes intense.

Harry glanced momentarily at Dumbledore's face, still not meeting his eyes and meeting his nose instead. In a controlled voice he said, "Yes that's it, just an argument."

"How about your scar any visions as of late?"

"No, sir, just small twinges at the moment that I believe means he's either happy or angry."

"Are you sure there's nothing else wrong?" Dumbledore asked and Harry shook his head 'no'.

Dumbledore sighed aloud this time and nodded his head. If Harry didn't want to talk to him about it there was nothing he could do. "Alright then Harry, my boy, you can go then." He said softly keeping his eyes on the teens face. Harry nodded and without a word he got up and left the office.

Dumbledore knew there was something wrong with the boy, he could feel it, but couldn't identify what it was. Maybe it had nothing more to do with than the death of Harry's godfather, maybe it was nothing but mourning and he was doing it the best way he could. Trying to put on a brave face and show everyone he was fine and he wasn't and his friends confronted him and he became defensive. Yes, that was a possibility. But somehow Albus Dumbledore wasn't sure that was the whole of it.

* * *

After leaving the headmasters office Harry decided to head back to the dorm to get some things and then find a quiet place to be alone. Walking through the portrait hole he didn't bother to look around the common room and headed straight for his dorm, hoping no one was around. Luckily no one was in the dorm. Deciding to change his shirt while he was there he pulled off his turtleneck and looking through his wardrobe he pulled on a light long sleeve red shirt. After that he walked over to his bed and bent down to his trunk. 

Pulling out his rucksack, the one he didn't use for school, he shoved his invisibility cloak into the bag, looking behind him he quickly pulled out his butterfly knife and put it into the bag also. Tossing around thoughts in his head he decided to put the Marauders Map in the bag also. With a last thought he shoved his book into the bag and closed it. He stood up and looked around the room and closing the trunk, he walked out and back down into the common room.

Just as he was about to walk out the portrait hole he heard a voice from behind. "Harry, where are you going? Curfew is soon," the voice he recognized as Hermione said.

Not turning around but tilting his head, he said over his shoulder, "I'm going to find a place to be by myself for awhile. Screw curfew" and he walked out not waiting for another word to be said. He walked away from the portrait until he was out of sight and opened his rucksack and pulled out his invisibility cloak. As a second thought he pulled out the Marauders Map and tapped in with his wand saying the phrase to activate it.

Looking at the map he noticed that there was no one in the way of his destination and tapped the map again, clearing it. He began his trek for the astronomy tower glad for a couple hours by himself. He knew he could have gone to his secret room but he didn't want to at the moment, so the astronomy tower would be his second place to go.

He got there without any problems and walked up the stairs until he came to the room he wanted, taking off his invisibility cloak as he went. The room wasn't anything special, mostly bare for the exception of a small table and chair in the far corner. Harry walked up to the front of the room and sat on the floor, staring up into the night sky. It was black now with scattered stars glinting like diamonds and an almost full moon glowing milky white.

He sighed as he looked into the sky. He hadn't meant to go off on Ron and Hermione like that and he knew they really didn't deserve it, only wanting to help him. But he was angry; at them, at himself, at everything! If he hadn't let his guard slip he wouldn't have had to deal with his friends worry and questions. If he hadn't taken his frustration out on them they wouldn't be not talking to him now. If Sirius hadn't come to the Ministry that night he'd still be alive. If he, Harry, hadn't been rash and stupid there would have been no reason to go to the Ministry in the first place. But 'ifs' weren't going to bring Sirius back and 'ifs' weren't going to get his friends off his back and 'ifs' weren't going to change the fact he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He snorted aloud derisively and glared into the night. So yes, he was bitter and angry that a world that should have been his salvation was now a place he was starting to wish he never knew about. Coming here, to the wizarding world, had been great in the beginning. This was a whole new and interesting world full of magic and things that were only fantasy to him until eleven years old. When he had found out about this world he had thought that maybe things would begin to improve in his miserable life.

Nothing has been improving in his life lately, really nothing improved since he found out about the wizarding world. He may have found friends, an escape from the Dursley's and Dudley and his gang, but too many bad things had come to light since he found out he was a wizard. Having found out he had a homicidal wizard, presumed dead, after him, that he has tried, even if unsuccessfully to kill him every year and will continue to do so. That nothing in his life was private because it would always seem to find a way into the Prophet, that whenever anything good happened, something bad happened not long after it.

Discovering the magical world and almost being killed his first year, being able to show up for his second year and almost being killed again along with getting Hermione petrified and Ron almost killed, finding his godfather and losing him almost two years later and not having the chance to get to know him properly, winning the Tri-wizard tournament and almost dying when Voldemort was resurrected along with Cedric dying. He just couldn't seem to win and be happy either way, no matter what. And to top it all off he had to find out his father was nothing more than an arrogant bully, like his cousin or Malfoy and his gang.

And now he found out he had a prophecy that basically meant 'Kill or be Killed' that he had to fulfill. At the age of 16 he had to worry about killing a madman who was after him or being killed when he should be enjoying being a teenager. Worrying about school, Quidditch, dating and normal teenage things and not if he was going to be alive by the end of the school year.

He sighed again and was about to reach into his rucksack for his butterfly knife when he heard a noise behind him, the sound of the door opening echoing in the room. Turning around and removing his hand from his bag he saw the last person he really wanted to be there. Draco Malfoy. Malfoy walked into the room and started slightly when he saw someone there and Potter of all people.

"Oh great," Draco said with a groan. "You just had to be here didn't you? What are you doing here Potter?" Draco sneered half-heartedly. He had come up here to be alone, damn it, and it figured that someone, no, not just someone but POTTER of all people had to be there to intrude on his alone time.

Harry scowled at the blonde. "I was up here first Malfoy, you don't like it then leave! In fact just bugger off," he snapped before turning back around to gaze into the sky.

Draco glared at the back of Potter's head and then silently sighed. He didn't want to go any where else, this place always seemed to help him think things out and made him feel at least a little bit better but he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around with Potter either. Though when he thought about what he would have to return to (Crabbe and Goyle's company – who were nothing but blathering idiots. Pansy – who would probably try to flirt and snog with him again and Blaise who would complain about wanting to do something instead of being bored on a Saturday night) or back to his room, he decided sharing company with Potter was better than any of the other options and sat down opposite the black haired teen with his back to the wall.

Harry noticed this out of the corner of his eye but chose to ignore the Slytherin who was rudely intruding on his privacy. He wasn't leaving because Malfoy was a prat, he would just ignore him. Of course this was Malfoy and you couldn't ignore him because the blonde made sure you knew he was there.

"Heard you had a row with Weasley and Granger," Malfoy said in a disinterested tone of voice, like he could care less if it was true. He had heard from Pansy, who was part of the gossip line of Hogwarts that Potter had blown up at Granger and Weasley in their common room and that Potter had stormed out afterwards and didn't come back that night.

Harry stiffened at the comment before sighing. Not looking at Malfoy he answered, "As it's probably around the whole school by now I don't know why you're asking." His tone was indifferent, Draco realized and the statement confirmed that the rumor was true. The Golden Boy had had an argument with his two sidekicks.

"What ever would the Gryffindor Golden Boy have to argue with his two friends over?" Draco drawled the sarcasm evident in his voice.

"None of your damn business Malfoy!" Harry snapped glaring at the blonde. "Look, it's obvious you're not leaving and I'm not leaving so let's just ignore each other, okay?" Harry asked with a tired sigh. If he couldn't be alone he at least wanted silence. Draco didn't speak but turned his attention to the night sky, determined to at least relieve some of what was on his mind.

He felt restless and tired at the same time. He had run out of dreamless sleep potion and had to do without the last two nights, leaving himself open to nightmares. He couldn't ask Severus again to give him more because he knew his godfather would ask about him and considering he wasn't supposed to take the last batch of seven vials every single night that was definitely out of the question. Severus knew about the abuse but he didn't know about the self-harm and Draco wanted to keep it that way.

So without the potions he had dreamt of things he'd been trying to avoid. Fragmented scenes of him being beaten by his father…the shout of a _crucio_…the glare of steely gray eyes filled with disgust and disapproval and anger…the strike of a pale hand to his jaw. He closed his eyes, shook his head and sighed softly, almost inaudibly, trying to banish his thoughts. Thinking about his father always made him feel dually hot and cold. Hot from anger, a disgusted rage at a man he once looked up to and cold from the fear he felt. He feared Lucius Malfoy and what the man was capable of and he hated himself for the fact that he feared the man to begin with.

'_I'll have to sneak into Sev's classroom and get the ingredients myself and make the potion,'_ Draco thought as he looked into the black velvet sky of the night. But the nightmares weren't the only problems that were bothering him. Just this morning Blaise had asked him if he was feeling well, saying he looked a little paler than usual and really tired with a slight discoloration under his eyes. He had been so tired that morning after his nightmare that he had forgot to do anything to hide the circles under his eyes from two days of lack of sleep. And the blood loss, along with the decrease in his eating had him looking paler.

Blaise had inquired on it and Draco had brushed him off with a dismissive excuse of no sleep, which had been half true and made sure he looked more presentable. _'No need to draw suspicion to myself.'_ He had thought with a snort that morning. The rest of the day had gone by fine with few problems. Blaise hadn't asked about him again which was good but Pansy had tried to get him to spend most of the day with her and had been annoying with her incessant flirting. The girl just didn't seem to realize that he couldn't stand her. He sighed again, thinking how he was happy to have escaped the paws of Pansy once more.

"You want one?" An indifferent voice broke Draco from his thoughts and he looked up startled and surprised. He had forgotten that he wasn't alone and that Potter was there. Slipping back into his Malfoy mask he raised one eyebrow at the black haired teen.

"One want?" Draco asked in a bored and nonchalant tone. Harry held up a clear bag of brightly colored marble sized candies for the blonde to see, not sure why he had even offered. He had picked the bag up and popped one of the candies, strawberry, into his mouth when he had looked to the Slytherin and just – offered.

Draco looked at the bag in Potter's hand before looking to him suspiciously. Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed another candy from the bag and popped it into his mouth. "See, there not poisoned or anything, Malfoy, I just got them today." Harry said and held out the bag toward the Slytherin again.

Draco contemplated whether he should take one or not but in the end decided to. Reaching into the bag he pulled out a blue candy, and with one more suspicious look in Potter's direction popped the confection into his mouth. Hardly any time after placing it on his tongue the treat snapped in his mouth, filling it with the taste of blueberry. He looked at Potter both brows raised in question and surprise.

"New candy at Honeydukes," Harry answered. They lapsed back into silence once more, Draco grabbing a handful of the small candies with a smirk in Harry's direction. Harry just shook his hand as he grabbed a few out the bag before putting the rest back into his rucksack, ignoring the butterfly knife his hand briefly brushed against.

"Have you ever noticed how black and white people make things?" Harry asked softly, breaking the silence. He wasn't sure why he asked such a questions or why he asked his rival of all people. He was looking up into the black velvet sky, his green eyes gazing absently at the moon.

Draco looked at the Boy Who Lived shocked and completely thrown at the question. Potter didn't look at him when he asked but the blonde figured the question was, more or less, vaguely directed at him. He was silent for a while not sure how to respond to a question like that from someone like Harry Potter, Golden Boy, Boy Who Lived. But Potter began speaking again and he didn't have to answer.

"So many people believe everything is black and white, light and dark, good and evil. There's no middle ground to most; no grey area that's a mix of both sides. Why is that?" Harry's voice was still soft as he kept his gaze still fixed on the night sky. He wasn't sure why he was saying any of this but his mind was slightly preoccupied and he was saying what came to the forefront of his mind.

Draco, who was still looking curiously at Potter's profile, exhaled slowly and decided maybe answering wasn't so bad. "Because many want to believe life is that simplistic. You think of things as light and dark or good and evil and you'll only have to worry about two sides; what you consider right and wrong. For people, at least some, to think of life as grey or with a middle ground between two opposing perspectives would be making life more complicated. That middle ground is thought of as an unknown factor." The Slytherin's voice was low, a little thoughtful and somewhat matter of fact in its tone.

Harry looked at the blonde surprised, eyebrows arched and eyes wide. He wasn't sure what to be more shocked at. The fact that Malfoy had answered or what the answer had been from the usually sneering Slytherin. Draco caught the look Harry gave him and smirked.

"What, did you expect me to say something like the darker side of life is better and people fear it?" there was a mocking tone to his voice as he said it. Harry nodded slightly because, yes, he had expected something along those lines. "Well sorry to shatter your fragile Gryffindor views of me." Draco drawled sarcastically.

Shaking his head Harry looked back to the dark sky. "Sometimes simplistic is more dangerous than complicated." The black haired teen muttered but knew the blonde had heard it.

"Yes, sometimes it is but the complicated is the unknown and the unknown is feared and that's something many people like to avoid," Draco stated glancing briefly at the other boy. Harry nodded his head in agreement and understanding to that statement and they lapsed back into silence, both more aware of the other than before.

Harry was shocked by Malfoy's answers to what they were talking about and that they were talking somewhat civilly. Looking into the night sky when he first came up here he knew he was going into a mood of reflection that night, of introspection but didn't expect to have someone to share his thought with. The fact that is was his rival that he was talking to was even stranger.

Draco was thinking along the same lines, just as shocked that he was sitting here with Potter, conversing civilly on such a subject and even more shocked on the Golden Boy's view on things. This night was turning out to be much different than he thought it would be, but not as unpleasant as he thought when he first saw Potter.

Harry sighed as he picked up his bag and stood up stretching lazily. Draco looked at Harry and stood also, aware of how late it was getting.

"Well Malfoy it been, ah, interesting…waxing philosophical with you and all but it's getting late." Harry stated with a shrug, swinging his rucksack over his shoulder.

"Yes, interesting is definitely one way to put it. Anyway I'll be seeing you around Potter," the blonde drawled with a tilt of the head.

"Yeah Malfoy," Harry responded with the same tilt of the head at the other teen, who turned and started walking towards the door. Harry turned back to gaze into the night sky as he heard the Slytherin leave, deciding to wait back a bit. And as one boy gazed into the night sky and another walked the dark halls of the castle back to his dorm they both thought that an understanding, no matter how small, had been reached between them. Not everything was black and white and sometimes the simple ways of things weren't the easiest or safest no matter how much you wanted to believe it to be.

Harry shook his head slowly, mildly bemused by the turn of events for the night and grabbed his invisibility cloak out of his bag. Swinging the cloak around his shoulders he made his way back to Gryffindor Tower thinking vaguely of the concepts of black and white, light and dark and the enigma that is Draco Malfoy.

* * *

Reviews! 

SLNS: Glad to hear you like my story so far. As for Harry/Draco action that wont be for little while but keeping reading and reviewing. I agree with you, sometimes Hermione needs to be told to shut up and back off. Thanks for the review.

leftarrow: Thanks for the review. I'm sorry if Draco and Blaise's conversation was a little lame and cheesy but really I wanted a conversation to show that behind all the Slytherin stereotype they were normal teens who thought classes were boring and bitched about them. Sorry if they were cheesy to you!

Silver Angel 7: Thanks for the review. I'm glad your enjoying it so far.  



	6. Holidays Beginnings: Watching and Worrie...

Chapter 6: Holidays Beginnings: Watching and Worries

November passed into December and the weather turned colder as in the first week of December snow began to fall lightly. It was now two days before the students left for holiday to spend time with family and friends. The castle was all decorated up for the festive season, the stones themselves seeming to hum with excitement. Harry, who usually found this month to be wonderful and was full of excitement and cheer himself, was feeling oddly detached from it all. Oh, that wasn't to say he didn't put on the mask of being a happy like everyone else was because he did, he just didn't feel it. Everyone seemed to be in the festive mood; even the Slytherins seemed to have more of an upbeat attitude, though more subdued than the other houses.

Harry was currently sitting on his bed in the dorm with the curtains shut and silencing and locking charms up. He was reclining against the headboard lazily, thinking of all that had happened in past few weeks. After that night in the Astronomy Tower with Malfoy he had sat and talked with Ron and Hermione the next day to smooth things out between them.

**Flashback**

After making their way to an unused classroom and Harry putting up silence and locking charms the trio stood in awkward silence for a moment. Then Harry, determined to say what he wanted to say, spoke up.

"Listen, I'm sorry about blowing up at you. Hermione you have to understand though, that sometimes you can't know everything and that if I don't want to talk about what's wrong then you should just accept that. And Ron I'm sorry for being such a git to you," Harry said with a gusty sigh.

Hermione looked slightly put out at his words and Harry quickly interjected. "I know your only concerned and trying to help but Hermione some things I just need to do myself, some problems I need to just work through by myself." Hermione still looked a little upset but nodded her head.

"Alright Harry, but just know that were here for you and we'll help when if you need it. Or if you just want to talk." Hermione said with a small smile.

"Yeah mate, were here for you if you need us. And you were right, you were a right git to us the other day," Ron said with a small frown. "But I forgive Harry." The red head then smiled and clapped Harry on the back. Hermione gave him a hug and they left the classroom, all tension between them gone.

**End Flashback**

After that talk things basically went back to normal for the three friends, though Harry had noticed Hermione keeping a close eye on him. He had made sure to keep the mask firmly in place and she had only just stopped throwing him suspicious glances two weeks ago. It was annoying how she kept watch on him like he was a child hiding something but he made sure to throw off any suspicion she may have had. Ron had pretty much gone back to the way he was before the argument and Harry didn't have to worry about Ron nagging him as much.

Well at least not about that anyway. Hermione was going home for the holiday to be with her parents before heading to The Burrow on the 30th to spend the holidays with the Weasley's. Ron, of course was going home also. Ron and Hermione had asked Harry to come with them for the holidays so they could all be at The Burrow together but he had refused. When they had asked why he didn't want to come, he had told them he preferred to stay at Hogwarts this year and left it at that. His friends weren't happy about that and offered to stay also but he told them to go ahead with their plans for the break. Mrs. Weasley had even tried to get him to come when she had sent him letters but he had politely refused that also. He just wanted to be alone for the holidays and knew he basically would be with almost every Gryffindor going home with the exception of two or three lower years staying behind.

Along with the few from his house staying he had noticed the same amount from every other house and that surprisingly Malfoy was also staying here this year. He hadn't talked to Malfoy since that night in the astronomy tower. A few nods here and maybe a lackluster insult thrown in but they really hadn't said much to each other. Harry had thought about the things said in the astronomy tower that night and had wondered just how many other people, not only Slytherin though he was curious about them, thought the same.

He hadn't told either of his friends about the encounter that night, keeping the conversation to himself as he was sure his friends wouldn't understand. He knew Ron saw things as black and white, good and evil; nothing beyond that concept. Hermione he wasn't completely sure about but from what he had observed from her he was thinking she may see things the same way. He just knew they wouldn't understand his new outlook on life. But he had to grow up sooner than others because he had a homicidal maniac after him wanting him dead.

He sighed heavily not wanting to think of this before going to bed. He sat up and took the time to clear his mind, remembering to practice his occlumency. He thought of the forest he used to guard his mind, visualizing it in his mind's eye, protecting his thoughts, feelings and memories from intrusion. He breathed in deeply through his nose and let the air out of his mouth, relaxing himself. When he was sure his mind was protected, he lay down and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was two days later and everyone who was going home was packed and ready to go. Draco sat in the common room watching everyone rush around to finish gathering their things in last minutes checks. He wasn't going home for the holidays this year and wasn't sure whether he was happy about that or not. He had received a letter from his mother two weeks before break stating that she was going to visit relatives and friends in France and that he should stay at school this year. The letter had been rather short and dull, but he had gotten the point; his mother didn't want him around for the holidays this year. He wasn't to upset about it as he would be able to spend time by himself with so few people staying behind. 

He had noticed Potter's name on the list of those staying and had briefly wondered why he would be when he had the Weasley clan but it had drifted away when he thought about the night in the astronomy tower. It had been an honest surprise to hear the Golden Boy's thoughts on the whole subject. He had been so sure that the Gryffindor would be as close-minded as the rest of his house. He had thought about what was said that night and had wondered if any of his goody-goody friends, or even Dumbledore, knew he thought such things. And then he thought they probably didn't and it would be nice to see their faces if they knew Potter thought that way.

But now he sat in a leather armchair in the Slytherin common room waiting for the other Slytherins. He was walking with Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise to the Entrance Hall to say goodbye and whatnot before he secured himself in his room until dinner. At least that was his plan.

"Draco, Vince and Greg are coming now so we should being able to leave in a minute." The voice of Blaise Zabini came from somewhere behind the blonde. Draco turned his head slightly to look at the dark haired Slytherin out of the corner of his eye and nodded.

"Right, what's taking them so long anyway?" Draco asked.

"Their finishing packing since they left it for the last minute," Blaise smirked as he sat in a chair across from the other boy. Draco rolled his eyes, partly annoyed and partly amused, since he had told the two to pack yesterday. Just then the two mentioned came into the common room.

"Finally," Draco drawled as he stood gracefully from the chair. The four made their way out of the common room and started on their way to the Entrance Hall, talking lightly and quietly to each other. When they made it to their destination they saw many other students gathered, ready to leave. The quartet stood off to the side as they talked and waited for the rest of the students so three of them could leave.

"I still don't understand why your mother wouldn't take you to France with her. She would any other time," Blaise said with a raised brow. He had been surprised when Draco had announced he would be staying at Hogwarts for the holidays.

Draco shook his head, holding back a sigh. Since no one knew about his real home life but Severus, and they only saw what was presented to make them look like a loving family no one would understand that his mother didn't care to have him around much. "Blaise I told you I don't like our relatives in France and my mother knew that and was happy to let me stay here, as I had asked early." Draco said lying easily. Blaise looked at him a moment before sighing and shaking his head.

"I don't know why you don't like them. And this is France! It's got hot looking people there and you could sneak away and have a little fun." Blaise stated waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Draco just snorted as the students began moving to get in the carriages. He waved goodbye to his three friends lazily as they got into a carriage. With a sigh he glanced around the Entrance Hall seeing those staying behind who were waving their farewells to those leaving and turned on his heel walking back to the dungeon and his rooms.

* * *

Dumbledore sat in his office after seeing the students off gazing into the flames. He was joyful for the holidays to be there as he always liked those festive times of the year. But he was also feeling worried. Harry hadn't gone to the Weasley's for Christmas like he had expected instead opting to stay here. After there talk that night he had made sure to keep an eye on Harry but he hadn't found anything that would determine what was going on with the boy. 

A knock on his door shook him from his thoughts and he looked up with a small sigh. "Come in!" The second it was out of his mouth the door opened and in walked Severus Snape, Potions Masters. He walked in and sat in a chair in front of the older wizard's desk.

"You wanted to see me Albus?" Snape said in that smooth drawl of his, declining the offer of tea. Albus was silent for a moment as he looked at the man in front of him. He remembered Severus in school from his first year, the boy who tried so hard to succeed. Severus hadn't always been as confident as he was now in himself. He had been teased and taunted terribly by James Potter and Sirius Black during his school days. Then he had gone and become a Death Eater, a young man who was powerful and intelligent in his own right had joined the ranks of Voldemort. But he had come back to the Light side in the end, offering himself as a spy for their side.

Albus sighed and looked at the man in the eye. "Severus, have you noticed any odd behavior from Mr. Potter?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at the question and his lip curled some in disdain. "When isn't Potter behaving oddly? But as to your question Albus I would have to say besides his improvement," he fairly spat the word. "In potions I haven't seen anything odd from the brat."

"I had talked to him sometime ago and he was," Albus paused trying to find the right word. "Angry still, which I can't blame him but there seemed to be something under the surface. I'm sure you were aware of the tension among Gryffindor a few weeks ago?" Snape nodded at this, he had noticed it and had vaguely wondered what that was about. Albus continued. "I had asked about it and he had said it was a simple argument but I don't think it was so simple. I've watched him since that meeting but haven't found anything to indicate something was amiss. Since he is staying here for break, I'd like you to watch him and see if you can find anything wrong," Albus finished.

"What? You want me to watch Potter because he's acting ODD? The brat is just like his father, he's probably up to something that would get him in trouble. As usual," Snape sneered angrily.

"Severus, you don't know if he's like James or not, you just assume he is." Albus said gently.

"Of course he's like his father! Sneaking out at all hours of the night, breaking rules. He's done something each year to warrant him of being expelled and you have let it slide, letting him get away with anything. You and everyone else coddle him, I'm sure he's used to that by his muggle relatives. The boy is a disrespectful brat," Snape said scowling angrily. "But if you're so concerned about him I'll watch after him. But I'm telling you Albus, he's only up to no good!"

"Thank you Severus, my boy, thank you! Well it is time for dinner, shall we go eat?" Albus asked cheerfully and rose to sweep out of the room, Snape following him grumbling about impudent Gryffindors. _'Why me,'_ thought Snape, scowling the whole way.

* * *

The Great Hall had been decorated for the festive season like every other year, with the huge tree dressed in a multitude of decorations, the hanging garlands and such. The hall was a beautiful sight that normally would have left Harry in awe, even after seeing it for so many years but he didn't feel anything. The season wasn't making him feel in high spirits like it normally did, just the opposite really. He was feeling more depressed and detached. 

He walked into the Great Hall and sat at the table near the end, noticing vaguely the two third year Gryffindors who stayed were already there. The house tables had been vanished and there was one long table for the few people; students and teachers, who were staying for the holidays. He looked up when he heard scraping sounds and saw two second or third year female Hufflepuffs he didn't know, Stephen Cornfoot, a Ravenclaw who played chaser and another Ravenclaw, male, who he didn't know sitting down. He noticed a second or third year Slytherin boy sitting a little ways down from them. Pasting on his best cheerful and happy smile he began a discussion of Quidditch with the two Ravenclaws.

Draco walked into the Great Hall with a small sigh. He really didn't want to be here, he'd rather be in his room brooding. But he was hungry and as far as he knew the house elves didn't deliver food to a student's room. Walking up to the table that has replaced the four house tables he sat in a seat one down and diagonal from Potter, next to Malcolm Baddock, the only other Slytherin to have stayed. Slowly the professors who were there for the holidays who weren't already in the Hall came bustling in. Draco noticed Dumbledore and his godfather, who was scowling, taking their seats. He nodded to the man who nodded back. Then Dumbledore clapped his hands and the food for the evening appeared on the table.

Snape piled food onto his plate and began to eat as he inconspicuously glanced at Potter out of the corner of his eye as he talked over things he needed grown for his potions ingredients stock with Professor Sprout and things he needed shipped in with Dumbledore.

At first glance he noticed nothing unusual with the annoying brat who sat their talking and laughing and smiling with the other students around him, glorying in the attention they bestowed upon him. He was just beginning to think Dumbledore was imagining things when something caught his attention. Looking at Potter's eyes you could see the happiness he was displaying wasn't shining in his eyes like he had seen before. His eyes were guarded and you couldn't really tell what he was feeling but he definitely wasn't feeling happy.

Slightly interested in this he watched the Gryffindor a little more. And he noticed something he never saw before, or it wasn't there, or he chose not to see it but now he saw it. The Boy Who Lived was wearing a mask and a damn good one at that. If it wasn't for his years as a spy and knowing how to read people he wouldn't have caught it.

Taking a drink from his goblet he gazed discreetly at Potter. Something was off about him, something was odd and Dumbledore once again, damn him, seemed to be right. He continued to watch him throughout dinner and decided to watch him some more during the break. Something was wrong with the brat, something he couldn't figure out but he would watch and find out.

_After all, _Snape thought derisively _it can't be that bad for the Boy Who Lived._

Harry was only too happy to leave the Great Hall when dinner was done. He wanted away from the happy chatter and some solitude. It was two days before Christmas and he wasn't sure he could make it through the next two days surrounded by these bright and joyful people. He felt suffocated among them, he wasn't really happy or anything and their incessant cheer were making him feel nauseas.

Leaving the Great Hall he was happy to be heading back to Gryffindor tower, away from the cheer of the other occupants of the castle, away from the air that seemed to him with excitement and strangle him with it. He was going to hole himself up in his dorm and stay there as along as he could the next two days. Maybe he could catch meals in the kitchen instead of with everyone else? _That is a definite possibility,_ he thought as he walked through the portrait hole. He ran on up to his dorm room and grabbed the book he was reading, flopping back on his bed, getting comfortable and began reading.

* * *

After dinner Severus had asked him to come to his rooms. He had agreed because he hadn't talked to his godfather in awhile but he was slightly apprehensive also. His godfather could want to talk about just about anything and he was sure it had something to with his state of being. 

Standing in front of the door now he sighed and collected himself. He had to be ready for anything from this man. Knocking lightly he heard the silky voice of his godfather, "Come in."

He opened the door and stepped into room, closing the door behind him. Severus's sitting room consisted mainly of black, blue, silver and green colors. The floor was covered in a dark blue plush rug with silver trim. There was a moderately sized fireplace to the left of the room where a black leather couch and two black and green chesterfield chairs were set. Between the couch and the chairs was a coffee table of a dark wood. In the corner opposite the fireplace was a cabinet that Draco knew held alcohol of all sorts.

His godfather was sitting in one of the chesterfields staring into the fire. Draco walked over and sat in the other chair by the fireplace. He looked at his godfather who sat staring into the flames with a thoughtful expression and wondered what the man was thinking.

"How are you Draco? I know we haven't talked privately much lately," Severus finally asked in a low voice that was soft and almost gentle. He kept his gaze of the fire as he spoke.

Draco took a moment to answer knowing he must answer carefully. "I'm fine, nothing worst than usual." He drawled, telling mostly the truth. His godfather didn't know about him cutting himself and he hadn't been doing it more lately so really it wasn't worst than usual, he reasoned with himself. Severus finally turned to look at him, a piercing black gaze that unnerved him just the slightest bit, but he didn't show it.

"At least you're not brooding like you were at the beginning of the year," Severus commented with a raised brow. He looked at Draco intensely for a long moment silently. "Have you been taking the Dreamless Sleep potion every night again?" his voice was casual and low but dangerous, holding a dark undertone to it.

Draco tense imperceptibly at that tone. He knew Severus would never harm him but he knew his godfather could be quite scary when he was upset. And he would surely be upset if he knew that Draco was, indeed, taking the potion every single night.

"Don't even bother to lie to me Draco," Severus continued when the blonde didn't speak. "I'm a potions master, yes, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't know the effects to taking too much of a certain potion. So have you?"

Draco nodded not trusting himself to speak and knowing Severus would know if he lied. But it was something he couldn't help, taking the potion every night that is. He wanted to escape the nightmares that plagued him and he had little care to the consequences of what would happen to him from taking to much Dreamless Sleep. Of course, he forgot to factor in his godfather knowing what he was doing.

"Damn it Draco! As skilled as you are in potions how could you let this happen?" Severus scowled, glaring fiercely at the blonde. "What stupidity overtook you to do such a thing in the first place?"

Draco looked at the man in front of him and jutted his chin out stubbornly, eyes narrowed and holding something not quite anger but not sadness either. "You have nightmares you want to escape Severus and so do I! Besides I didn't take the potion EVERY single night. There were at least one or two days when I didn't take it." Draco answered glaring at the black haired man.

"That's still too much and too often to take that potion," Severus said with a sigh, not believing his godson's idiocy and stubbornness. He understood the need to escape nightmares that torment your sleep as he himself wanted to do countless times but he never risked taking the potion Draco was on a constant basis.

"How many vials do you have left?" Severus asked in a neutral tone with an underlining tremor of suppressed anger and Draco barely held himself from flinching. Severus only used that when he was extremely upset and restraining himself from saying something scathing and only occasionally did he use that tone and then only with a few select people.

"Six vials," Draco muttered not looking into those black eyes. He respected this man who took the time to teach him privately and help him with his problems when he didn't have too and disappointing him stung more than he thought it would.

"You are to take one every three days from now on, you are NOT to take any tonight and I will give you a potion to extract the overdose of Dreamless Sleep. Do I make myself clear?" Severus demanded, voice low once again and holding that dangerous undertone. His black eyes were gazing unblinkingly at the blonde.

"Yes sir," Draco muttered again. Severus stood from his seat and went through a door and disappeared from the room only to return a few minutes later holding a vial with a yellow colored liquid. He handed it to Draco silently and watched the blonde drink it down making a face at the taste before handing the empty vial back. Severus sat the vial on the coffee table and sat back in his seat.

"Make sure you do as I said Draco. You can leave," Severus said turning his gaze back to the fire with a very clear and cool dismiss to the blonde. Draco rose and walked toward the door, not looking back as he left the room and headed to his own rooms.

* * *

**  
Review Responses **

**Tempest Tamer: **Glad you like my story so far. Sorry for the lateness with this chapter but I was a bit blocked on what to do for the next chapter.

**amber.moora:** Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story so far and thanks for the compliment.

**xJustAGirlx:** I'm glad you like my story so far! Thanks for the review.

**Shoonoowhatever2:** Thanks for the review! A lot of the cutting ideas are from personal experience, so that may be why its so realistic.

**Lanfear1:** Thanks for the Review! Also i was thinking about that idea with having Snape and Harry get along. It will be a slow process but they will not be enemies anymore. Just wait and see!


	7. Christmas Breakdown and Secret’s reveale...

Sorry for the lateness but I wanted to have chapter 8 at least half done before I did put this chapter up. So here is Chapter 7 reader hope ya like!

* * *

Chapter 7: Christmas Breakdown and Secret's revealed.

Harry awoke Christmas morning feeling a little happier than he had in awhile. He lay back in his four poster bed in his dorm and thought about past Christmases. First year he had stayed here with Ron. His first Christmas with people who actually liked him and it had been wonderful. The decorations, the feast, and the warmth he never felt at the Dursley's all made his first Christmas at Hogwarts just that much more special. Second year had been wonderful also though he and Ron and Hermione had taken time out of their break to spy on Malfoy to see if he was the Heir of Slytherin, it had still been a great holiday.

Third year had been pretty much the same. Fourth year, he remembered with something akin to resentment wasn't that much fun. With the Yule Ball and the Tournament that year the holidays hadn't been so enjoyable. When he started to think about the holidays and how he spent them fifth year he felt his chest tighten and a weight set on it and shook his head violently as he sat up. He didn't want to think about that, not today, no not today.

Taking a deep breath he got out of bed and looked at the stack of presents in front of his four poster bed. He quickly put in his contacts before deciding to start on opening them. He grabbed his blanket off his bed and spread it on the floor in front of his presents and sat down on it. He separated all the presents according to who they were from and then started in on them.

From Ron he received an assortment of candy form Hondeydukes and a single dragon tooth on a leather strip of thong like a necklace. The note accompanying the second gift stated the tooth was from a Hungarian Horntail with help from Charlie. Thinking of the Hungarian Horntail made him think of the first task of the tournament and his near brush with death at the hands of the dragon and how much fun he had had. He smiled as he slipped the necklace on, the tooth hanging only an inch under his collarbones.

The next gift was from Hermione. She got him a book on defensive spells that he flipped through quickly, noting some really useful hexes. She also got him a leather bound journal with muggle pencils and pens and a muggle sharpener. There was a note with this particular gift.

_I know sometimes there are things you just can't tell other people, so here's a journal to write your thoughts and feelings down in. use it Harry, it might help!_

_Hermione_

He thought the gift was a little stupid himself but Hermione was smart and he would at least try to use it out of courtesy.

From Molly and Arthur he received the usual Weasley jumper, green with a gold H on it, a tin of fudge and a few other homemade goodies. Turning to another gift he noticed a medium sized box with the Fred's and Georges's names on it. Slightly apprehensive to what could be inside, he cautiously opened the letter on top. It stated that there were some pranks in there that he could use to 'lighten up his day' and something to 'cheer up his nights'. So with much hesitation he opened the box to see the pranks in full view and off to the side a bottle ofOgden's Old Firewhiskey was nestled into the box. He looked at the bottle blankly for a bit before chuckling at the nerve the twins had. He was sure if Molly knew about this they would be in big trouble.

Ginny's gifts were two quills – pheasant and eagle owl – and an ever-changing inkwell. All he would have to do is tap the inkwell with his wand and state the color he wanted.

He was surprised a little, not so much that he got a gift from Neville. They had become a little closer after the Ministry fiasco so he wasn't too surprised over the gift. He had bought one for Neville as well. Neville had gotten him a black dragon hide rucksack that was enlarged on the inside to fit more than it looked like it could and still remain lightweight. He liked the bag and decided to start using that when term started again.

The last gift he went to open was from Remus and he briefly wondered how the man was doing. He was doing missions for Dumbledore and they hadn't talked much except for the occasional letter when it could be sent. Opening the first present he saw it was another book on defensive spells, hexes and charms. Sitting that to the side he opened the other one and saw it was a photo album. Opening it up and flipping through it his eyes slowly began to fill with tears.

They were pictures of his parents, Remus, Sirius, from Hogwarts and afterwards. There were pictures of his parents wedding; one of his mom in a beautiful white wedding dress and her hair done up hanging in tiny ringlets around her face. She was flushed and smiling and waving at the person taking the picture and she looked so happy as he held his father's arm who was dressed in a black dress robe. They were both beaming and waving at the camera. There was one them dancing at their wedding also as they stared into each others eyes, oblivious to anything else. He didn't even realizing he was crying until the saline droplets fell onto the picture.

Looking through it some more he saw a picture of Sirius leaning casually on his broom and smirking at Remus who was trying to looking disapproving about something. And then Sirius would throw his head back and laugh eye twinkling and Remus would smile and chuckle. Harry's chest clenched again as he looked at Sirius, head thrown back laughing, like in the Department of Mysteries before he-

Harry shook his head and slammed the book shut, tears burning trails down his cheeks. He was gulping in air or trying to because his chest was so tight he couldn't breathe. And he couldn't see as tears obscured his vision. He didn't want to think about this! Not today. He doesn't want to think about the way Sirius looked before he-

_NO,_ he shouted at himself close to panting because he just couldn't breathe. His throat felt clogged like his heart was blocking passage for air to get it. And he didn't want to think about THAT! No, no, no he didn't want to think about that. Pushing the photo album away he got up and went to the bathroom. A shower would help, some, yes it would. He was almost hysterical in his own thoughts but he didn't care. The image of Sirius before he-

_No don't think about that damn it_, he scolded himself and walked into the bathroom. He turned the water on as hot as it would go and stripped down before stepping under the spray. A waterfall of hot droplets rained down on his body as he pressed his palms against the tiled wall and hung his head. He still couldn't breath and was taking deep, slow breaths in through the mouth and out through the nose. And he was still crying but you couldn't tell.

He stood there like that for a half hour before getting out. He made his way back to the dorm and quickly got dressed throwing on a loose pair of black jeans and a loose long sleeve blue shirt. He pointedly ignored looking at the photo album and slipped on his black combat boots. Grabbing a coat he quickly opened his trunk and searched through it until he found his butterfly knife and stuck it in his jeans pocket, putting his wand in his coat pocket. With that he walked out of the room feeling cold with his chest aching like someone stabbed him in it.

He left the tower and walked the halls until he came to the court yard. It was cold out and the ground was covered in fresh fallen snow. Looking up he saw that it was lightly snowing, small flakes drifting from the gray cloudy sky. He looked around and walked over to where the wall of the castle would hide him from prying eyes. He took off his coat and rolled up his shirts sleeves. Taking the butterfly knife from his pocket he flipped it so the blade was out. Without a moments hesitation he put blade to skin and cut a diagonal line from wrist to elbow.

The blood flowed freely and ran down his arm before falling onto the snow that glittered like diamonds and was splashed by the red of his life blood. He made another cut on top of that and sank to the ground, dropping the knife and cradling his head. He was crying again, sobbing quietly in the cold snow tainted with his blood. And now he was getting dizzy. He didn't know why he was dizzy and when he opened his eyes and looked up he saw everything was blurry, like he didn't have his contacts in when he knew he did. His head throbbed painfully before blackness took over and he fell unconscious.

* * *

Draco stepped out into the courtyard after following Potter. He had been coming up from his room when he caught a glimpse of Potter. Deciding it could be fun to see what the Gryffindor was up to he had followed him outside. He wasn't wearing a cloak so the biting cold was worse for him and he had been about to turn and go when he saw Potter disappear behind the side wall. Now very curious he walked to the wall and peeked around the corner. 

He froze when he looked. There was Potter with a knife in his hand cutting into his arm. He watched as he cut again and fell to the ground crying still frozen in place trying to understand what he was seeing. Then Potter slumped to the ground not moving and he snapped out of his trance. Working in an almost automatic state he rushed forward and rolled Potter over looking at his arm. The cuts were still bleeding heavily and he took out his wand muttering a sufficient enough healing charm. He wasn't skilled in healing but he knew enough to heal his cuts when he slashed his own flesh.

Not knowing what else to do he grabbed Harry's coat, the knife which he slipped into his pocket and pulled his sleeves down. Pulling him up with difficulty, he supported his weight and wanting to know what was going on with the Golden Boy decided to take him to his room. With a quick thought of not wanting to be caught hauling an unconscious Gryffindor around he cast a disillusionment charm on the black haired boy. Harry blended into the landscape and Draco began the trek back to his room.

It was slow because he had to drag Harry with him who had shot up in height over the summer and was his height maybe an inch taller than him. He didn't know why he was doing this, why he was so keen on knowing what was wrong with the Boy Who Lived but he was and that was that. He made it to his room without incident remarkably and said the password for the door before dragging the boy in. He laid him on his couch in the sitting room, took the charm off and put the coat on a side table as he sat in the other chair in the room.

He looked at the boy on the couch in front of him, trying to figure out why the Golden Boy of Gryffindor would do such a think as cut himself. This was the Boy Who Lived; he had friends and the perfect life, right? This was a curious predicament indeed. He decided to wait for the other boy to wake up. This was something he didn't want to miss and he couldn't wait to see how Potter would talk his way out of this one. To pass the time Draco picked up his Transfiguration book and, settled into the chair in front of the crackling fire.

A half hour passed in an almost silence except for the crackling of the fire, the turning of pages and the occasional sigh. Draco looked up when he heard a soft groan and saw his guest moving and his eyes fluttering. Finally the lids lifted to show cloudy emerald eyes and Harry sat up with another groan, clutching at his head that began to pound at the sudden movement. Harry looked up and looked directly into the face of Draco Malfoy.

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed scrambling off the couch and falling on the floor. His head began to hurt more and he saw the room un-focus and go blurry. Clutching his head again he glanced at the blonde who looked amused at his actions.

"Welcome back to the land of the conscious Potter," Draco drawled with a smirk, eyes glinting in amusement.

Harry looked around the room slowly, taking everything in. He wasn't familiar with this room and he was on guard immediately. Then he caught on to what the other boy had said. "What do you mean?" and then it all came rushing back: His breakdown this morning after looking at the pictures, getting showered and dressed, going outside and cutting his arm and then…nothing. He couldn't remember anything after that. He looked sharply at Malfoy who was still smirking at him.

"Well you were unconscious, the opposite of conscious. That's being awake, aware, alert, cognizant-"

"I know what it means you prat!" Harry snapped glaring at the blonde, interrupting him.

"Then you need to be more clear on what your asking." Draco said matter-of-factly, staring innocently at the black haired boy.

Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The dizziness had worn off but he still had a headache that was throbbing dully in his head. He chose to push the pain to the back of his mind and find out what was going on. Looking back at Malfoy he sighed and then scowled. Then it hit him like a horde of rampaging hippogriffs, what Malfoy had said earlier. He had been unconscious, most likely after cutting himself which meant he had blacked out in the court yard in the snow. If Malfoy had found him unconscious, which he was almost positive he had, then the blonde Slytherin had found him…

"No," he whispered eyes wide and panicked. "No, no, no." he kept whispering softly to himself shaking his head slowly. A cold fear had washed over him at the possibility that Malfoy knew his secret.

Draco was looking at Potter no longer as amused as before. The panicked look that crossed the other's face told Draco he should speak up before Potter did something rash and stupid. "Potter, calm down." he stated calmly and firmly watching the Gryffindor.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN!" Harry nearly yelled as he stared at the blonde. "How the fuck do you expect me to calm down when you…when …you know!" He said looking at the blonde accusingly. He took a deep breath wanting to calm down. He couldn't approach this hot-headedly. He would calm down and find a way to get Malfoy to keep his stupid mouth shut.

Draco watched Potter throw his tantrum before trying to calm down. He was amazed to see Potter drop the mask and pull it back on so quickly. He wasn't so sure about this now. What was he to say to Potter? 'I saw you slicing your arm up and wanted to know why?' Like that would work. He watched the boy as his face became a blank mask, eyes unreadable and face expressionless.

Finally calm Harry stood up from the floor and looked around. He saw his coat that he had worn on a side table and, grabbing it, he began to search through the pockets. He came up with his wand but his knife was gone. Turning to Malfoy who was sitting there looking the slightest bit impatient he fixed the Slytherin with an intense look. Draco looked back as the teen in front of him stood there.

"Why don't you take a seat Potter?" Draco said softly raising an eyebrow. Potter's intense stare was starting to make him slightly uncomfortable, like the raven haired boy could see into his mind and was slowly stripping down his defenses, yet he didn't squirm under the scrutiny.

"You know don't you? And where the hell is my knife?" Harry asked ignoring the question to sit. This was Malfoy and he was bound to use this against him.

Draco took a moment to decide where to begin and then sighed inwardly knowing this was going to be hard. "Know what exactly? That you cut yourself? Yes, I know. I found you in the courtyard after you passed out." Draco said, omitting a few facts. Potter didn't really need to know that he had followed him out to the courtyard. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife he had picked up earlier. He looked at it, having not really looked at it before. It was strange but nice looking. He had never seen a knife like this before and was mildly intrigued.

"You can hand it over Malfoy," Harry interrupted Draco's inspection. His voice was a low and calm tone. Draco looked at Harry and raised an eyebrow before handing the knife to the raven haired teen who put the knife in his pocket.

"Since when does Gryffindor's Golden Boy mutilate himself? Something gone wrong in Perfect Potter's life?" Okay, so he wasn't being quite nice about this but he didn't see why someone with Potter's life who was probably worshipped by his muggle relatives would cut himself. Plus baiting Potter was an added gift.

But Harry didn't rise to the bait like he knew Malfoy was expecting him too. "You don't know anything about my life Malfoy and its none of your business when I started to cut myself. I want to know what it's going to take for you to keep your mouth shut about this?" Harry said keeping his gaze on the blonde.

_So_, Draco thought looking back at Potter. _He didn't rise to the bait and he, naturally, wants me to keep quiet. Maybe I can find out what he's hiding?_ "Seriously Potter, what could you have to hurt yourself over?" He knew he was most likely treading into dangerous waters but he had always been a curious person and he was definitely curious about Potter.

Harry glared at Malfoy heatedly, stare almost burning through his head it seemed. "You wouldn't understand and anyway, I'm not going to tell you anything." Harry snapped.

"Who says I wouldn't understand? I might. You don't know me Potter, just as you claim I don't know you, so whose to say I won't understand?" Draco retorted with a slight sneer, not at all liking Potter's assumption of him.

Harry looked at him for a moment in silent contemplation. Could Draco Malfoy of all people understand him and what he's going through? Could he understand what it feels like to not be loved, to be abused and degraded? Harry didn't think he could. This was Malfoy, he was thinking about. Rich, obnoxious, snobby, pampered and spoiled beyond measure Draco Malfoy. He couldn't be able to understand what Harry was going through. Could he? Most people thought he, Harry, were rich and spoiled at his muggle relatives' house but they didn't see behind the mask he wore to ensure everyone continued to think that. Could Malfoy be like that? Harry wasn't sure.

"How could you possibly understand Malfoy? You, rich, spoiled pure-blood that you are?" Harry asked with a scowl and veiled curiosity.

Draco thought how to go about this and not make himself to vulnerable to the other teen. As of now he had something against Potter but if he gave Potter something against himself, something he wanted kept secret then neither could speak of it without getting their secret told by the other. It was risky, but Potter seemed the type to keep something secret to save his own skin, Draco could see that. So with careful deliberation he pulled his wand from inside his robe and cast a silencing charm on the room, smirking as he saw Potter tense even more when he had drew the long piece of wood from his robe.

"Alright Potter, I'm too damn curious for my own good. You want to know how I could possibly understand you? Well, you'll find out but this goes no further then this room and stays between you and I got that?" Draco asked with a hard note in his otherwise emotionless voice.

Harry looked at Malfoy with a calculated look. How was he to trust that Malfoy was telling the truth? Could he risk it, knowing what would happen if others found out his secret? But, he had to admit to himself, he was curious about what Malfoy was going to do to show he understood. If he had a secret of the blonde's then Malfoy couldn't speak about his secret without Harry telling Malfoy's, if the blonde truly wanted it kept secret. With another moment of consideration Harry nodded his head. "Okay, as long as you don't say anything about what you know about me."

Draco took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was harder than he thought but something spurred him to continue to show Potter that he might understand. Maybe it was that small inkling that had never truly left of him, in some way, wanting to befriend Harry that he had constantly denied. He didn't know but with a heavy sigh he took off his robe and rolled up the sleeves of the sweater he was wearing. Picking up his wand again he muttered the spell that would cancel the concealing charm he wore.

* * *

** Review Responses: **

GinnyGin: Thanks for the review but this isnt Snape/Harry slash this is Draco/Harry slash.

Lanfear1: Thanks for the review! Don't worry I have an idea for Snape and Harry getting along but it wont be for quite yet and it will be a slow process like the Slash between Harry and Draco.


	8. Revelations, A Truce and a Journal for Y...

Note: **_Journal Entries will be done like this! Look forward to them in any chapter after this, but I'll most likely remind you at the beginning anyway!_**

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Chapter 8: Revelations, A Truce and a Journal for Your Thoughts 

As Malfoy muttered something under his breath Harry watched transfixed as multiple scars were revealed. Silver, pink and red; healing, old and new all displayed on the milky pale arms of Draco Malfoy. Harry was frozen in place at the sight; scars like his on a person who he hadn't thought would have these scars. He was trying to understand what was being shown to him. Eyes wide and mouth parted slightly green met grey and a hundred different questions flickered in the emerald eyes.

Draco stared back, not going to shy away. He had made the decision to show Potter this, not only for his curiosity about Potter but, he admits in the deepest part of himself, maybe because he wanted to know someone understood what he was going through just the tiniest bit. While his godfather was okay he wanted someone his own age to know and understand. Ironic that it should be his rival of all people. Draco's lips twisted into a bitter smirk as he saw the surprise and questions in those green eyes.

"Surprised Potter? Rich, evil Malfoy mutilates himself just like Golden Boy Potter." Draco said with a bitter sort of chuckle bubbling from his throat.

The sound of the blonde's voice snapped Harry out of his trance and he moved his gaze from Malfoy's arm to his eyes. Stormy grey eyes looked back at him; their depths showing an emotionless honesty that stunned the black haired boy.

"Malfoy," Harry began slowly eyes drifting to the pale and scarred arm again. "Why are you showing this to me?"

"A few reasons Potter. Maybe I want to prove you wrong that I could understand, maybe I want someone who could understand me. Then maybe again I'm doing this to lure you into an elaborate trap by the Dark Lord. There are plenty of reasons why," Draco answered with a smirk.

Harry looked back at the blonde and smirked a bit also. "Yes Malfoy, I'm sure that Voldemort ordered you to mar your perfect skin just to lure me to him." Harry said with heavy sarcasm, ignoring Malfoy's flinch at Voldemort's name. "So what's the deal Malfoy? What's really going on?"

Pulling his sleeves back down Draco looked at Potter who was sitting now, calm but alert of his surroundings as Draco leaned back a bit in the chair he was sitting in. "I'm curious you can say as to what reason you have to cut yourself." Draco answered casually with a shrug.

"Ron and Hermione don't even know about this, not even counting the reason behind why I do it. So why would I tell you about it?" the raven haired teen asked with a raised eyebrow.

"True, true Potter." Draco said and fell silent for a moment. He was deciding how to go about this. He looked away from Potter's gaze and bit his bottom lip gently in thought.

Harry watched the blonde before him slightly bewildered. He had been confused by Malfoy's behavior since the beginning of the year really. At the end of last year the blonde had been furious with him for getting his father locked up in jail but when they came back in September the blonde had basically left him and his friends alone aside from the occasional taunt every once in awhile.

Admittedly, after the initial spite had died down of putting Lucius in prison and pissing Malfoy off Harry had become slightly guilty about it. No matter what Malfoy had done to him, said to him and his friends he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit bad about putting someone's father away. That thought pained him sometimes, knowing that he had taken someone's father from them, no matter that it was Draco Malfoy's father and that Malfoy junior was as much a bastard as his father. It was the fact that he took someone's parent away from them.

Uncomfortable with the track his thoughts were taking Harry shifted slightly and looked back to the blonde. Some slow rising realization began to bubble up in the raven haired teen, things slowly clicking into place. "Malfoy," Harry began slowly catching the Slytherins attention again. Malfoy looked to Harry almost like he forgot the other boy was there and raised an eyebrow. "You want something from me but I don't think its completely wanting to know why I cut." The Gryffindor continued slow and even.

Draco looked at Potter momentarily startled by his perceptiveness. This wasn't the Golden Boy he was used to and it threw him a bit, unsettling his equilibrium. The Gryffindor, though he was loathe to admit it was right. While he wanted to know why he cut he also wanted something more. Deep down, in that part of him that was still that hopeful eleven year old, that he hated to admit existed, he wanted to become Potter's friend. _Damn the Gryffindor Golden Boy for finding brains_, Draco thought almost frowning but keeping his face blank like always. With a sigh Draco looked at the other boy. "When did you become so perceptive Potter?" he said with slightly narrowed eyes. He was stalling from saying anything as long as possible.

"I've always been perceptive Malfoy I just never always used that perceptiveness. And your avoiding the subject," Harry said flatly with a smirk. Despite the situation he was having fun throwing the blonde off balance with his uncharacteristic behavior.

Draco growled lowly alternately annoyed and grudgingly amazed at Potter's Slytherin traits. Calming himself down he looked at the black haired teen. "We haven't really fought much this school year, have we?" he drawled nonchalantly.

"No. We haven't. This is amazing considering at the end of last year you were whining about killing me." Harry said raising an eyebrow with a faintly amused look.

Draco glared briefly at the Gryffindor before smirking some. "You never know, I still might. But as to that let's just say I'm not as upset about you landing father dearest in jail as I was at first." Draco said carefully, with a casual shrug. "Back to what I was saying, though, we haven't really fought much this school year. What would you think of a truce, secretively of course, between us?" Draco asked nonchalantly. _Maybe becoming friends if at all possible_, Draco thought silently to himself.

Harry was looking at the blonde across from him in shock, eyebrows raised, eyes wide and mouth partly open. _Did Malfoy just ask for a truce_, Harry thought wildly. Yes, they hadn't been fighting much lately, since school started really but a truce! Harry's brow furrowed then as he stared at Malfoy intently. It was obvious there was more to this truce, Harry just knew it. This was a Malfoy and a Slytherin they didn't do anything without gaining something for themselves. But what could Malfoy gain from a truce with Harry? He could be doing this for the Dark Lord, which was a possibility. But surely Malfoy and Voldemort knew that them being such rivals they would hardly trust each other, even Voldemort must know that. So what was the reason? "A truce," Harry said slowly still looking at the blonde intensely. "You, Draco Malfoy want a truce with me, Harry Potter?"

Draco rolled his eyes and sighed. "That's what I just said isn't it?" Draco snapped.

"Well, yeah it's just unexpected to hear you ask that." Harry said. He thought about it for a moment as he sat there. The truce would help him to not worry about fighting with Malfoy, and since they hadn't really that year no one would notice the change. Plus he could concentrate on more important things then when the blonde annoyance would strike next. "A truce. I think that's fine," Harry said slowly with a cautious undertone to his voice that was barely perceptible.

Draco looked so briefly surprised that it was hard to tell it had been there. But inside he was downright shocked. He hadn't thought Potter would agree, honestly, and thought he would be rejected again. In fact he had been prepared for it but this surprised him. Regaining his composure he looked to Harry with a small smirk and held out his hand, a gesture reminiscent of their first year.

It was a tense moment, silent and still, then Harry reached forward and clasped that pale hand with his and shook. The eleven year old in Draco celebrated this moment with a glee most wouldn't have thought possible. They dropped hands and looked at each other in silence, a slightly awkward moment between them. Harry looked nervously at his watch and his eyes widened in surprise. It was only ten minutes until dinner.

"Well Malfoy I'm going to go since it's almost dinner and walking into the Great Hall together wouldn't really be helping the secrecy issue." Harry said standing from his seat and pulling on his coat.

Draco cast a quick _Tempus _spell to see the time and was slightly surprised also. "Yes, it wouldn't help with the secrecy to see the two of us together." Draco said not really knowing what else to say. He wanted to invite Potter back but didn't want to sound too eager.

"Yeah. Well, see you later, maybe tomorrow since so few are staying." Harry said with a shrug, his tone indifferent.

Draco gave a shrug himself. "Maybe," he drawled casually as he walked Harry to the door. He opened it the door and Harry stepped out. "To the left, then right, and straight from there you'll find your way back Potter," Draco said as the boy stood outside the door.

"Right, Malfoy. Bye," Harry waved over his shoulder as he began his trek up the hall. Draco looked after him for a moment before stepping back into his room and closing the door. He pressed his back to the door and did something many would have thought him incapable of. He smiled a real, genuine bright smile that lit up his face and even showed in his grey eyes. With a shake of his head he began to get himself ready for dinner.

* * *

Harry walked away from Malfoy's private rooms shock and disbelief till running through him. He made sure he was out of the dungeons before making his way quickly to a hidden alcove. In the alcove he touched a stone that was a shade darker than the others with the palm of his hand flat against the cold stone. The stone glowed faintly white before the area of wall dissolved into a shimmering almost translucent patch and he stepped through it like it was water, the wall solidifying behind him. 

It was another room he had found on his late night wanderings from the beginning of the year when he couldn't or didn't want to sleep. He stepped into the room which was about the size of his bedroom at Privet Drive. The room only had a desk with a straight-backed dark blue chair to the left, a small double-sized bed to the right and two unlit torches that lit up when he walked in, in two corners of the room on the left wall. It was a simple room really that he had no idea what used to be used for and didn't really care at the moment.

He walked over to the bed and sat down staring at the opposite wall blankly for a moment. Today had been surreal, to say the least. He shook his head lightly and checked his coat pocket making sure he had his wand and knife. When he was sure he did he checked his arm. The cut was healed pretty well, or more appropriately the blood had been staunched with the cut still evident. Malfoy had to have done that and he wondered if Malfoy had purposely not healed the cut to where it wouldn't exist or scar and why he had done that when anyone else would have healed the cut also, leaving no scarring.

He shook his head again and decided to think about this weird day later after dinner. He rose from the bed and walked back to the wall placing his hand on it again and stepping through once he could. He left the alcove and began to head for the Great Hall, thoughts swirling through his heads. He made it to the Great Hall and sat at the long table that had been made for those remaining. He sat at the end in his same seat from before, ignoring the other students who greeted him and not hearing the professors' greetings. He had way too much on his mind to notice such things.

Snape who was scowling at Flitwick's annoyingly cheerful attitude as he talked to McGonagall noticed Potter's distracted entrance. The boy looked to be in thought about something and was quite oblivious to his surroundings. Snape watched Potter discreetly as he was engaged in a conversation with professor Vector on pain-relieving potions.

He briefly got distracted from his watch of Potter when Draco walked in and he gave the blonde an intense look as he sat down. He was still upset with his godson for his blatant misuse of a potion, especially one that could be dangerous. He knew Draco knew better and that was what made him so mad and disappointed in the boy. Severus Snape knew better than many the horrors of nightmares but he didn't try to overdose himself to avoid them. So he understood Draco's need to escape those things that haunt him in sleep. He just didn't want his godson to overdose.

Sighing mentally the Potions Master went back to his study of one Harry Potter. He had to grudgingly admit the boy was good with hiding his feeling and thoughts. Besides the fact that the brat was wearing a mask he couldn't tell anything else and that was frustrating him. A Potter and a Gryffindor shouldn't be that good at masking themselves. Shouldn't be able to get past his inspection, he was a spy after all and knew what to look for. But Potter stumped him. He'd become even better in his occlumency and that avenue was no longer an easy place for him to find anything the brat might be hiding. Yes, now he could see why Albus had asked this of him because it was obvious that there was something going on with Potter. Something he intended to find out.

After Draco came into the Great Hall and sat down in the same seat from before the food appeared for the Christmas Feast. He began to pile his food on his plate as he ignored all those around him. He had felt the intense stare of his godfather as he came in and sighed in relief when its weight was lifted. He still felt bad about disappointing his godfather and knew that unless he kept his promise the trust Severus had for him would start to waver. He sighed quietly to himself and adverted his thoughts.

"Something the matter Draco?" Baddock asked in an indifferent tone of voice.

Draco glared at the boy, annoyed to be interrupted form his thoughts. "No, not that it's any of you business Baddock." He bit out in a quietly icy tone. Baddock nodding quickly with wide eyes before turning back to his plate. Draco sneered at him before returning to his plate and his thoughts. He glanced discreetly as Potter who sat one down and diagonal from him. He was still mildly shocked with how things had turned out with the other boy but satisfied all the same. Fighting the grin wanting to breakout on his face he took a sip of his drink. He was looking forward to see where this truce went and was ridiculously eager for his next chat with the Gryffindor. Shaking his head he pushed these thoughts aside and concentrated on his meal.

* * *

After the Christmas Feast Harry departed from the Great Hall and made his way back to Gryffindor Tower. He got there, said the password to the Fat Lady and walked in heading straight for his dorm. He stood in the middle of the room and looked around himself. His pile of presents was still on the floor from his hasty departure earlier and the photo album was lying against the wall where he had thrown it. He walked over to the album and picked it up without looking at it, closing it and walking back over to his other presents. He put the album on top of his trunk and looked down at the rest of the pile. 

With a thoughtful look on his face he bent down and picked up the black leather bound journal, the pens and pencils and the pencil sharpener. With a shrug and a sigh he brought the items over to his bed and plopped them down before sitting down his self, folding his legs Indian style under him. He eyed the objects some more, not sure why he was even thinking about writing in the journal but with another sigh resigned himself to doing just that. He opened the pack of black muggle pens and took one into his hand and then picked up the journal and opened it to the first page. Blank, line paper stared back at him as he looked at the journal in his hands. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this_, he thought with disbelief shaking his head a few time before he put pen to paper and began writing.

_**Dec. 25, 1996**_

**_Its Christmas today and the day has been full of many things. I had woke up this morning determined to at least enjoy the day and not let my depression drag me down but in the end I kind of let that happen anyway. I had got up this morning and opened all my presents feeling quite happy about things. I had gotten candy and other assorted treats from Ron along with a really cool dragon tooth necklace. Hermione got me a book on defensive spells and this journal along with a few other things. I got gifts from Molly and Arthur, Fred and George, Neville and Ginny also, but the gift that struck me the most was Remus's. From him I got a book on defensive spells also but I also got a photo album full of pictures of my parents, Remus and Sirius from when they were in school and even some of them after school before everything went bad._**

_**I had leafed through it looking at the pictures before I came across one that reminded me of Sirius in a way I don't want to think about. The picture reminded me of his face on That Day and I lost it. I remember that I shoved the book away from me, took a shower and got dressed before I grabbed my coat and dagger and left the tower. I had walked to the Courtyard where I thought I would be alone. I took out my knife and began to cut at my arm but apparently I went to deep this time because I fell unconscious afterwards. **_

**_When I woke up though I was shocked with where I had been. I was in Draco Malfoy's rooms! I had been lying on the couch with him across from me. But that didn't shock me and, admittedly, scare me as much as when I realized he KNEW. He knew about me cutting myself, I didn't even think he might not know. The look in his grey eyes was enough for me to know that he knew. But things took a decidedly bizarre turn. Malfoy revealed something to me that shocked me because I didn't expect a spoiled, selfish Daddy's boy like Malfoy to mutilate himself. But he showed me; scars of all kinds, old and new decorated his pale arms marring the skin. _**

**_I was shocked and surprised and confused and whole hell of a lot of other emotions that I had just stared at his arm. I couldn't believe he was showing this to me, Harry Potter, his rival of all people just because he was curious about my scars. There had to be more to it I had thought then. And then it all takes in even more unusual turn when he proposes a truce between us. For what reason he wants this truce still plagues my mind and I'm not sure what the real reason it. Predictably I would go with the reason being he wants to walk in his father's footsteps and was trying to worm his way into my trust so he could hand me over to old Snake Face. But I've changed a lot from what I used to think, from what was fed to me by Ron and Hagrid and any other person who told me Slytherins were evil. Besides, the look in his eyes when he told me "But as to that let's just say I'm not as upset about you landing father dearest in jail as I was at first" was mostly guarded except for a shining of something like happiness in those grey eyes. I can't say I'm not curious about it because I am more than I should be probably. _**

**_But as I said at first I was skeptical about his offer of a truce between us but as I thought at dinner tonight I think I'm slowly finding some good things about this truce. We already basically ignore each other except for his occasional attacks of taunts and barbs that I retaliate with but now he'll (hopefully) ignore me altogether and not bother with the taunts. Well, as long as his taunts aren't vindictive and a little more teasing I'm fine. _**

**_Well blonde confusing prats aside, I noticed something at dinner tonight that I noticed at dinner since break started. I'm being watched. I'm sure of it. I have become so tuned to people watching me being who I am that I FEEL it when someone's eyes are on me. I'm not sure who it is, though I have some guesses. I would say Malfoy was watching me but I'm not honestly sure it's him. I'm leaning more to it being Dumbledore since he's always trying to make sure he knows everything going on, especially where I'm concerned, the barmy old git! I'm still mad at him honestly and it pisses me off to know he's trying to keep track of me like I'm a child. I'm not child, never have been really and I don't like to be coddled and talked down to. _**

**_Which Hermione had been doing to me before the break, coddling me I meant. She gets all mother-y on me and it's frustrating. Maybe if I let her know I'm writing in this stupid journal she'll back off on the mothering bit. But knowing Hermione, she probably won't. _**

Harry stopped and looked at the words on the page and a half he had written. He had just written what was on his mind and all that came out. He was surprised to feel a little better after writing down his thoughts and looked at the journal incredulously again. _Okay so maybe not so bad then_, Harry thought as he closed the book and gather the stuff together. He got off his bed and walked to where his other presents were. He put the journal and writing tools into the new back he got from Neville and deciding to sort things later got changed for bed. Once he was done he picked up one of the new books on defensive spells he got, _the one from Remus_, he thought as he glanced at the cover and crawled into his four poster bed setting back for a nice read before he went to sleep.

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**Review Responses: **

GinnyGin: Thanks for the review! I didn't realize it looked to be heading in that direction, sorry.

Draco8448: Thanks for the review. Your a new reader to my story I see, thanks for taking the time to do so.

Fairies Hope: Thanks for the kind review. I didn't know I wasn't taking Anonymous reviews. I fixed that and now I am taking them!

Amy (whose anonymous): Thanks for the review, here's the next chapter.

amber.moora: Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it.

Raeandria (another anonymous): Thanks for the review! The Harry/Draco slash wont be for a few more chapters but it'll come.

Wykked As Syn: Love the name! Thanks for the review and here's the chapter


	9. Getting to know you, Watching and the st...

**Author's Note**: After doing a bit of research on the Harry Potter lexicon I'd like to inform you the dates of the Christmas holiday break. End of term and students leaving – Dec. 23 and students returning on – January 5 and term starts on the 6th of January. So from the time Harry and Draco talk it will be 10 days left to break, the students return of the 11th day and start classes on the 12th day. The last chapter took place December 25.

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Chapter 9: Getting to know you, Watching and the students return 

The rest of the break seemed to go by slowly in Harry's opinion. After that first talk and truce with Malfoy they had talked at least once every day in either Malfoy's rooms or other discreet places where they wouldn't be seen. The day after the Courtyard Incident as Harry had come to calling it he had met the blonde again and they had talked in the Room Of Requirement. They hadn't talked about anything too deep not completely comfortable with each other as of that point but they did talk about common ground things like classes for one. Harry and Draco traded knowledge on DADA, Charms, Potions and other subjects.

Draco had been admittedly surprised at Potter's knowledge of potions and the art of potions making. He had known since the beginning of sixth year that Potter had improved in the subject but he was surprised to see that Potter had actual knowledge in the ingredients and procedures of making a potion. It was a good discussion between them. Harry found that Draco wasn't as adverse to Care of Magical Creatures as he seemed. While he didn't want to be around dangerous creatures that could maul him to death he did like to learn about them. The discussion of different creatures had been interesting. They had also talked about Quidditch, at the time staying away from serious issues.

They did that for the first week of their truce contenting themselves to getting along and getting to know each other a bit. They found they had a lot more in common then they had previously thought and was surprised when the tense atmosphere gave way to a more relaxed and easy one. The next two days was much of the same with both dancing around the heavier subjects and trying to avoid as much as possible talking about their problems but both knew that they couldn't last long at this as they found themselves liking the other and enjoying the new budding friendship more than either would admit.

It was the day before the students were to return to the castle and Harry and Draco were in Draco's rooms, Harry sprawled out on the couch languidly head resting on his arm as Draco sat in a chair across from him sideways with his legs thrown over the arm and his back resting against the other arm. They looked quite relaxed if one glanced at them but on closer inspection you could seem the mild tension in each of them.

Draco looked at Harry – somewhere along the break they had begun using first names in private – and held back a sigh. He was tired and exhausted even if he didn't look it. It was the fourth of January, one day before the students returned, but that wasn't bothering him really. He didn't sleep last night afraid to suffer through the nightmares he knew would come. He had done as Severus asked and took his last six vials of Dreamless Sleep every three days. The last time he took it was the second before he went to bed and he didn't want to sleep last night learning that on the days he didn't take the potion he had nightmares plaguing him. He sighed and was startled when Harry spoke to him.

"What's the matter Draco?" he muttered softly looking over to the blonde. They had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the last ten minutes when he heard his companion sigh. The break had been shockingly enjoyable and the company of the blonde had been a welcome relief from too much thought of bad things he didn't want to think about. But the last few days things had begun to come back to him, pressing in on him and scrabbling for attention.

Draco looked at Harry and tried to figure out what to say. He could tell him the truth or he could continue to edge around the issue. He thought for a minute as he looked away from Harry to the blazing fire. With a sigh and his eyes still on the fire he said in a neutral tone, "I didn't sleep last night, haven't been asleep since I woke up yesterday morning. I'm just tired is all." It was the truth he was tired and hadn't slept since waking up yesterday morning. He kept his gaze on the dancing flames even as felt the intense stare from Harry boring into his back.

Harry was still sprawled out in his lazy position but his eyes were sharp as he looked at the blonde in front him. Through that neutral tone he could tell that there was more to what Draco said but he also knew that if Draco wanted to talk he wouldn't for fear of making himself too vulnerable. While they had become something of friends they hadn't spilled there deepest secrets to the other and Harry didn't expect Draco too. Biting back a sigh Harry decided to manipulate this in a way to learn more about the blonde and to get him to talk. Not moving from his position he kept his eyes on the blonde as he said calmly, "I started not long before third year, sometime after second actually, during the summer."

Draco snapped his head around and looked at the other teen, confusion evident on what he meant. Harry just gave him a pointed look and then glanced quickly to his own arm and back to the blonde. Realization dawned and Draco looked at Harry with shock. "About the middle of third year was when I started." He stated in a quiet voice, tone flat. Draco didn't understand why Harry just told him that out-of-the-blue and was the tiniest bit confused.

"I started because I had heard things, read things, little things about why people did it. I began to do it as a sort of release in the beginning, something to distract me from other things in my life." Harry stated looking passed the blonde and into the fire. He swallowed hard, took a brief moment to breathe and went silent.

Draco looked at Harry and slowly realization came to him. Harry was giving him a chance to speak what was on his mind or at least a bit of it and get something in return. He was working in an almost Slytherin manner. "It was a bit of wanting release from the troubles of life and defiance against my father; doing something so…un-Malfoy-ish in his opinion though he didn't know about it." Draco said with a small shrug. Draco was a bit…amazed that they were talking almost casually about mutilating their selves. It was almost funny that all that edging around the topic lead to talking about it like they were discussing the weather or Quidditch. He was once again shocked by the obvious change in the Gryffindor. He looked at the teen and noticed him looking at him oddly and was briefly confused until he realized what Harry was waiting for. The next move was his if he wanted to talk any further. He had learned that strange quirk of Harry's over the time they've talked. It wasn't an expectant look or anything it was a sort of intense look that at the same time was indifferent. He looked at him and thought about what he wanted to say. He wasn't ready to divulge anymore information though, even if he got some from Harry but he was silently grateful for the chance Harry was giving. Like a silent: continue or stop, you choose. And so Draco changed the subject and struck up a conversation on some topic or other and they slowly settled back into a comfortable atmosphere that was no longer tense and both breathed a silent sigh of relief for the reprieve.

* * *

Snape sat in his private rooms on the day before the students returned in front of the fire in his sitting room. He hadn't been idle during the break making sure to do what Dumbledore had asked (ordered?) of him and kept a watch on Potter. He watched him during meals mostly when he was in the boy's presence the most. He had watched Potter all break and found some things strange about the boy. He knew why Dumbledore had asked him to do it and not the boy's Head of House, McGonagall. He, as a spy, was more skilled to subtly watch a person, to pick up on the small things most people would pass off as insignificant. He knew that the smallest gesture or twitch could mean many different things and nothing at the same time. He knew what to look for. 

So he watched Potter and during meals was when he got the time to discreetly examine the boy. Besides the fact of noticing his smiles never reached his eyes or that the majority of his smiles were pasted on and fake, he also noticed the faint discoloration under Potter's eyes. He looked tired with a weary slump to his shoulders, eyes half-lidded like he hadn't been sleeping properly.

He also noticed that at meals Potter was slow in his pace to get to the table and sit down, like he was preparing himself for something that was painful or something he didn't want to do. Then when he got to the table he was reluctant to be added in conversation and only when addressed gave enough to be taken as an answer and then only if spoken too never initiating the conversations himself. Add to that his indifferent attitude towards everything, even through talks of Quidditch that at first Snape thought was arrogance but realized after careful thought was actual indifference, like couldn't care more or less.

Snape had remembered a Quidditch match earlier in the school year, the second match to be exact against Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. He normally wouldn't have paid attention but he had been grudgingly intrigued about the Potter that had come back that year. It had been a slightly chilly November day and Snape had remembered that at breakfast and as Potter walked out onto the pitch that he looked exhausted and worn-out, though he was holding himself very well. Snape remembered how lazy he had been flying compared to his usual technique, like he could care less about catching the snitch. Then when he had the snitch in sight he made – to the trained eye – a half-hearted attempt at catching it but in the end Chang, the Ravenclaw seeker, had gotten it and Ravenclaw had won the game. Potter had left the pitch right after that not even bothering to look back at his teammates.

Snape had supposed he was upset about the lost but with adding everything together that he was seeing now he wasn't completely sure. To top off that Potter was always hastily leaving meals, though there was no noticeable difference in his expression his stride was just that scant bit quicker than necessary.

To Snape, as far as he could tell, the boy was hesitant or didn't want to be around others much. He thought it was some Gryffindor moral or guilt/hero complex to keep others at a distance to keep from them from dying after losing that mutt of a godfather, Sirius Black. But he wasn't sure that was completely it because from what he'd been able to pick up he could see the signs of abuse and depression, knowing them on a more personal level than he cared to think about but that couldn't be it. He snorted as he took a sip from the glass of the scotch he was holding. This was Harry Potter the Boy Who Lived; he couldn't possibly be being abused. _It's probably stupid Gryffindor guilt_, he thought as he gazed into his fire pushing back memories of a man with black hair…fist pummeling a body of a helpless child, the cries of a woman being raped for trying to save that same boy and the insults and threats spat viciously in a memory thought long repressed. No, Severus Snape didn't want to relive those dead and long ago memories and he decided maybe getting drunk would help him forget.

* * *

Harry sat in his dorm room under the window looking out into the night sky. It was after dinner and he had headed back here and locked himself up in his dorm like he done everyday that week. He had his journal resting in his lap and a pen hung in his relaxed grip. He had come to appreciate the black leather bound journal that he not only wrote in but drew also. He found he liked drawing and was pretty good at it. He didn't find the journal as stupid as he first thought when he had opened it on Christmas and not for the first time reminded himself to give Hermione big thanks for her gift. It was something he could write his most private and darkest thoughts in and he savored that. 

Looking into the slightly misty night sky Harry sighed as he gripped the pen tighter and pressed it to the journal.

_**Jan. 4, 1997**_

**_Today was a full of surprises and revelations. Draco and I were in his room today, a usual occurrence this Christmas break. We had been talking about some random subject when we had lapsed into silence. In the beginning those silences were uncomfortable between us; we weren't at ease around each other and whenever silences fell we would be uncomfortable and uneasy not knowing what to say to break it or make it more relaxed. But, amazingly, over the break we have become more comfortable around each other. So we had lapsed into a comfortable silence in each other's presence. But when I heard him sigh I knew something was up. I noticed, though it was very near undetectable, that he was looking tired yesterday and today. It was a slight slump to the shoulders and small barely noticeable lines to his eyes. I see that every time I look in the mirror after a nightmare which, unfortunately, has been happening more frequently during the break. I have been having nightmare/memories of Sirius as he fell through the fail and a few of Vernon beating me; my most recent of this summer after the Order's "generous" convention to the Dursley's and the beating I had received in return. That had been one of worst since the summer after first year._**

**_But enough of my rambling on my horrid childhood, or lack there of I should say. So, Draco sighed and I asked him what's wrong. Well to make a long drawn out story short we ended up talking about when and why we started cutting ourselves. Well, the why was of why we cut and not why as in the reason behind it but still it was nice to know someone understands the reason I needed to do it. And it's shocking that it was Draco Malfoy who understood. I wonder what the reason behind him cutting himself is. I mean I've always been of the impression that his life was perfect; money, parents and anything he ever wanted. I couldn't see why he would start mutilating himself. _**

**_But then again everyone thinks I have a perfect life too, well, except for Hermione and the Weasley's and Dumbledore who KNOW I don't. But they don't know the extent of my bad life and I'd like it to stay that way. I mean I know the Weasley's are just being friendly and that they care but I don't want more pity then they already have for me. I don't want it and don't need it! Anyway, the rest of the students are returning tomorrow and the castle will be filled once again and classes will start again. Hopefully things will look up for the start of the term._**

Closing the pen in the journal Harry sighed and stood up, setting the journal in his new book bag. He didn't want to be too broody before he went to bed as it normally ending in a restless sleep. Already changed for the night he got into bed and stared up at the canopy wondering what tomorrow will bring.

* * *

The students returned the next night around dinner time after the train and thestral driven carriage rides. Harry was sitting in the Great Hall that had been restored to its original state with the four house tables once again setting proudly in their places. Harry himself was sitting at the Gryffindor table unsurprisingly. He was facing the Slytherin table and passing a calm and impassive gaze up and down the table. He briefly rested his eyes on the blonde head of Draco Malfoy who stared back just as calm and impassive before sweeping his gaze around the rest of the hall. The students were just now trickling into the room and Harry heard the loud and boisterous voices of his friends and fellow Gryffindors. 

"Oy! Harry how're you mate?" came the bellowing voice of one Ron Weasley as he and Hermione came toward their friend. Harry looked in their direction and gave them that brilliant crooked grin of his as they got near.

"I'm good Ron," he said as Hermione gave him a big hug and Ron patted him on the shoulder with a huge smile. "Thanks for the gifts by the way, you guys. I really liked them," Harry said as the three friends sat down.

"Your welcome mate and thanks for what you got me," Ron said turning slightly pink with a shy smile on his face. Harry had gotten him new Quidditch arm and leg guards and a pair of Quidditch gloves all of good quality.

"Yes Harry, thanks for my gift as well it was very educational and thoughtful." Hermione said with a bright smile as she pulled out the exact book he had gotten her. It was a book on magical creatures and beings and the laws pertaining to them.

"Your welcome guys, it was nothing, really." Harry replied with a small smile and eye roll. Dinner began and everyone ate chatting happily about their holidays and what they did. The Great Hall was filled with happy, raucous chatter as dinner continued. Harry talked to his friends and dorm mates, thanking Neville for the book bag he had gotten him. It was good times and Harry smiled as he gazed at everyone around him chattering happy to their friends. He cast the occasional discreet glance at the Slytherin table, more precisely Draco but no one noticed as he kept himself in conversation when talked to but mostly staying silent.

"So Harry how was your break here at the castle?" Hermione asked as she took a bite of vegetables from her plate, looking at the dark haired boy across from her.

"It was fine Hermione. I basically stayed to myself and read or wrote, didn't really do anything interesting," Harry answered with a shrug. _Unless you count becoming on good terms, almost like friends with Draco Malfoy, the boy who tormented us for the last five years, than nothing interesting at all happened!_ Harry thought sarcastically, stopping himself from snorting at the thought he had. Hermione looked at him for a moment, closely but then nodded her head.

"Have you finished your holiday homework?" she said immediately switching to her 'professor' mode. Harry nodded and looked at her with mock exasperation.

"Yes Hermione! I finished it had lots of time to do so. Did you Ron?" he asked, wanting to take the attention off himself. It worked. Hermione looked at Ron and glared at the red faced boy with a look that said 'you better have'.

"Um, not all of it but Hermione I wanted to enjoy my break besides the work isn't due until the end of the week!" Ron whined.

"Ronald Weasley! You have to be more attentive with your school work. N.E.W.T.s are coming up as you…" Hermione went on but Harry tuned her out happy the attention was off of him. Soon dinner was over and the students departed to their common rooms. The trio walked back to Gryffindor and entered the common room. The night was spent talking happily until the students were tired and decided to head to bed. Tomorrow classes would resume and life would fall back into the pattern of school and classes and homework.

* * *

**Review Responses:**

Wykked As Syn: Thanks for the review I appreciate the encouragment.

butterfly-soul: Glad to hear you love my story, Doll. Thanks for the review.

Draco8448: Thanks for the review. Yeah I know what you mean about some stories starting out and getting the boys shagging and snogging before its really even considered a story. I want to work out a friendship first that will ease into a relationship.

crazy-lil-nae-nae: Thanks for the Review!

Disaray: Thanks!

Silver Angel 7: Well as I've mentioned and don't mind doing again is that I'm easing them into a friendship before I throw them into a relationship of something more. And there will be more jounal enrtries.

GinnyGin: Thanks for the review!

xdisturbedx: Thanks for the review as a recovering cutter myself I'm happy to know it's come out as realistic as I had hoped.

kittylyn: Thanks for the review and honestly it was either do something I love, like writng, or let my depression and sadness consume me and relapse back into cutting. I chose the constructive instead of the destructive.


	10. Classes resume, More secrets revealed, Q...

Chapter 10: Classes resume, More secrets revealed, Quidditch match and unexpected feelings.

The next day dawned bright and early and it was the first day of the second part of term for students and professors alike. The occupants of the castle went about their normal routine of waking and showering and preparing themselves for the day ahead. Breakfast commenced and the population of Hogwarts ate their fill, especially Harry Potter who had the feeling that today would be a long day. He thought this as he walked to his first class on this Wednesday morning with his friends. He wasn't looking forward to potions today but when Snape was your professor you never really looked forward to it. _Unless you're Slytherin_, Harry thought wryly as they entered the dungeon classroom and took their seats.

The room began to slowly fill with students as Harry retrieved his things from his book bag (the one Neville got him) and soon Snape was sweeping into the room and class was beginning.

"Today you will be taking notes on a complicated sleeping potion that if you blunder up," he threw a brief look at the Gryffindors and sneered at them. "Could cause serious consequences to the drinker. The ingredients needed in this potion…" and Snape droned on throughout the class about the potion, its ingredients, the procedure to make it and what it should look like and so on and so forth. Harry dutifully took notes as Snape talked in that dry condescending tone. He briefly wondered if the man could talk without sounding patronizing once in the class period but decided it would probably hurt him too much to do so.

Soon class was coming to a close and Snape looked around at all his students sharply. "You are to study these notes and know the potion and how to brew it by the next class. You will each being working alone on this potion and I expect it to be done correctly," he said more to his Slytherins really. He looked at the Gryffindors and sneered again. "I don't expect all of you to be able to do it but do try and use your brains." He finished just as the end of class came. "You're dismissed!" He snapped and the students gathered their belongings and made it out of the room as quick as possible.

Ron, Hermione and Harry walked out of the room Ron muttering under his breath about greasy git's and their bad attitudes. Harry and Hermione ignored him as this was a common occurrence whenever they left potions class. Harry sighed inwardly as they made their way to transfiguration. He was hoping the rest of the year went by smoothly as had the first half. Voldemort hadn't made any of his yearly appearances and while this worried Harry he was also glad that it hadn't happened. He was able to concentrate on his school work, much to Ron's dismay and Hermione happiness and was receiving much better grades than in previous years. It had surprised his professors that he had put so much effort and dedication into his school work but they were pleased about it. Well, except for Snape who seemed to take Harry's vast improvement in potions as a personal slight to him. But whatever, it wasn't Harry's fault that Snape hated his dad so much.  
With a mental shrug he walked through the door into the transfiguration classroom.

* * *

The rest of the day passed by in an almost lazy fashion with the classes seeming to be longer than normal and the students grousing about having to return to the daily routine of school. Harry wasn't chagrined like the rest of his fellow classmates as the classes let him think as little as possible about things he didn't want to think about. They kept his mind off of his thoughts of Sirius, the Dursley's and, if only slightly, the threat of Voldemort and his existence. That was enough for Harry to throw himself into the work enthusiastically.

* * *

The days of January slipped by in an almost lazy way of chilly days and chillier nights. It snowed a few times, tiny crystals of ice falling from a dull grey sky. But the snow was so scarce that it gave time for the Slytherin team and the Ravenclaw team to practice for their upcoming match on the fifteenth of that month. Even through the cold bite of winter winds and the icy sting of the air itself each team prepared fiercely for their match. Harry had had very little time to talk to Draco over the days as they were each busy with their own agendas. 

Now it was the day before the match and dinner had just ended and the students were slowly standing and leaving the Great Hall. Harry was standing up with Ron and Hermione and walking from the Great Hall. Harry glanced at his two friends out of the corner of his eyes and then flicked his eyes briefly to the dungeon. He had gotten a note from Draco asking him to come down after dinner and he was eager to talk to the blonde again. _Who would have ever thought I'd be eager to talk to Draco Malfoy?_ Harry thought barely suppressing the urge to snort. Stopping abruptly, his friends, who didn't notice at first, walked a few more steps before they did. Turning around they looked back at him curiously.

"Harry?" Hermione asked brow furrowed in confusion.

"I'm going to take a walk around the lake before curfew. I need to clear my head a bit," he replied.

"Are you sure Harry? Have you finished you homework yet?" Hermione demanded hands on her hips.

"Yes Hermione I'm sure I want to take a walk around the lake," Harry said sarcastically, easily ignoring Hermione's glare. "As for my homework some of it is done, the rest I'll finish later." He continued with a small one shoulder shrug.

"Alright mate, see you later!" Ron said and Harry nodded before turning and walking away. Hermione stared after him for a bit before Ron tugged on her hand. "Come on Hermione lets get back to the Tower," Ron said lightly pulling her along.

"Yes Ron because you have homework you need to do also," Hermione said, immediately changing modes. Ron groaned loudly and began whining as they made their way to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

Harry had ducked into an alcove as soon as he was out of sight of his friends. As he waited for the hall to clear he set his bag down and pulled out his invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map. He had gotten them earlier after receiving the note. When the sound of the many students faded into echoes he opened the map and activated it. Looking at the way he needed to go and his destination he figured by the time he'd crept down there the few Slytherins in the hall will be gone. 

Pulling his bag over his shoulder and then pulling on the cloak he made his way out of the alcove and started his path for the dungeons, occasionally glancing at the map. By the time he'd reached the dungeons the few straggling Slytherins had gone and he made his way to Draco's room wondering not for the first time how and why the Slytherin had his own room when the other prefects didn't. Draco had told him when he asked that when his father was on the Board of Governors and he'd gotten prefect Lucius had bribed them basically to get his own private room. Harry had just shaken his head, muttered something along the lines of "spoiled blonde prat" and changed the subject.

Harry finally reached Draco's room, pulled off his cloak and stuffed both it and the map back into the bag and knocked out a pattern that let Draco know it was him. The door opened and Harry slipped through quickly, shutting it behind him. looking up he saw Draco was in the chair sitting sideways and walked over to the couch, dropped his bag and sprawled himself on the couch on his side.

"Yes, just make yourself at home," Draco mock sneered, sarcasm dripping from his words. Harry rolled his eyes at the blonde and smirked.

"I am," he said simply and stretched cheekily for good measure, ignoring the snort from his friend. "Ready for your game against Ravenclaw tomorrow?" Harry asked.

"Yes of course I'm ready," Draco said arrogantly as if what Harry had asked was obvious and stupid, rolling his eyes.

"Confident aren't you, you arrogant git?" It was more of a statement than a question that held much sarcasm and amusement.

"Yes I'm confident because Slytherin WILL win." Draco stated looking at the black haired teen thoughtfully. "You know something's been bothering me for a while now. That match back in November with Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. How the hell did you lose that? You're a better seeker than Chang, as reluctant as I am to admit and you should have won. What happened?" Draco asked raising a finely sculpted eyebrow in question.

Harry sighed lightly as he closed his eyes. "The week leading up to the game I had been having…nightmares constantly. I hadn't been sleeping well and with the nightmares I… I was cutting also. So when the day of the game came I was exhausted and just too tired to care about beating Ravenclaw in a Quidditch match and only played half-heartedly but I doubt anyone noticed," Harry explained in an indifferent tone of voice, eyes still closed.

"Then why did you storm off the pitch afterwards? Everyone assumed you were upset about the loss." Draco asked realizing now that he hadn't noticed, really, that the other teen had been playing half-heartedly. He'd noticed he wasn't playing the same he just didn't realize what was different about how he had been flying.

"After hopping off my broom I left the pitch because I wanted to shower and rest. I was beyond exhausted and normally when I'm like that I don't dream and I was looking forward to a nightmare-less sleep," Harry replied opening his eyes slowly and moving his gaze to the fire.

Draco looked at Harry, understanding in his eyes. He knew what it was like to have nightmares interrupting your sleep. He had the Dreamless Sleep potion on most nights but with his godfather catching on to what he was doing he was now monitored on it and Severus had also banned his use of his private store of ingredients. Draco had to wait for Severus to give him more potions and that infuriated and embarrassed him to no end.

"What are your nightmares about?" he questioned in a soft, subdued tone, eyes trained of the black haired teen.

Harry was silent for awhile gazing steadily into the dancing flames of the crackling fire. Draco wasn't sure he was going to answer when the silence stretched on. Harry was deciding the best way to say what he wanted to and finally in a low, soft voice he spoke. "Someone I ked who was…close to me died and I relive their final moment in my dreams. There were also others of," he stopped abruptly, cleared his suddenly tight throat and looked the blonde square in the eyes. He wanted to say this, he wanted Draco to know that his life wasn't as perfect as many thought. He didn't know why this suddenly seemed important to him but steeling himself with a determined glint to his eyes he continued. "There were also others of my cousin beating me up and my uncle abusing me. my relatives don't like magic, you see, and anything to do with it so they don't particularly like me either," Harry said starting to babble a bit, adverting his eyes back to the fire before looking at the blonde again, defiance in his gaze.

Draco was looking at him with a shocked look on his face. He hadn't actually expected that coming out of Harry's mouth. He knew the other was cutting for a reason but abuse wasn't what he thought would be a reason. He had thought Harry was treated like a prince at his relatives, pampered and waited on for being the Boy-Who-Lived.

Seeing the shocked look on his face Harry said, "It's true. No one knows the extent of it, I don't think."

"Not even Weasley and Granger or Dumbledore? They don't know?" Came the incredulous response.

"No. they knew about the fact that the Dursley's make me do all the housework and that they basically starve me but they don't know about the other stuff and its better that way. If I can survive through a summer of that then there's no point telling them about it." Harry replied with a shrug.

Draco looked at Harry intensely, eyes thoughtful. Something in him was urging him to tell Harry about his home life, something that was pressing on him to speak. He didn't know what it was that was urging him to talk but face slipping into an impassive mask he said, "My mother basically ignores me, frigid bitch that one and my father…he well," he was uncharacteristically nervous and took a deep breathe to steel himself and ploughed on. "He tended to like to beat me for things, mostly stuff that wasn't my fault mind. So, I can understand the nightmares about being beaten even if I can't understand the one about losing someone close to me. I have nightmares of Lucius and when he's beaten me. Bastard." He said muttering the last part with a bitter tone.

Harry propped himself up with his head in his palm and his elbow digging into the cushion and stared at the blonde opened mouth with incredulity, eyes wide. He looked at the blonde as if he'd never seen him before; trying to process what was told to him. Sitting up fully, slowly, he got a thoughtful look on his face. "I always knew your dad was an asshole but I didn't expect him of abusing you." Harry said evenly.

Draco's face remained impassive but his eyes showed his gratitude and Harry knew it was for not pitying him. Draco didn't like pity and neither did he. They both knew this and didn't pity the other.

"Yes, well I praised my father until he started abusing me. He said it was for discipline but I know it wasn't." Draco said with an indifferent shrug. They were silent for a moment as they stared into the fire. Harry looked at his watch and stood up.

"I should go its getting close to curfew now." Harry said as he grabbed up his bag and adjusted it onto his shoulder.

"Alright Harry. Oh, by the way what excuse did you use with Granger and Weasley?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Told them I was going to the lake for some time to clear my head and that I'd be back by curfew." Harry replied with a shrug. Draco nodded and Harry nodded back before stepping out the door. He walked a ways before shrugging on his invisibility cloak and making his way to the Tower. He took the time to think about what he'd learned about Draco that night as he lazily strolled back. It would be hard to believe the blond if he hadn't seen him when he hadn't put up his glamour. He had seen the scar down the blonde's bicep when Draco had been wearing a sleeveless shirt once. He had asked about it thinking Draco had done it himself but all he got was an "I don't want to talk about" and a look that meant to drop it. He had but wondered ever since what the scar was from. Draco wasn't really ashamed of his self-mutilation scars having shown Harry them before so this one had left him curious. Now he had an idea of where it might have come from and the thought that Lucius had left that scar on his own son was both sickening and saddening.

He reached the corridor before the portrait and pulled off his cloak, stuffing it back in his bag and proceeding to the portrait where he said the password and walked in. Ron and Hermione and a few others were still in the common room, sitting around and doing various activities.

"Hey mate," Ron called.

"Harry your back! Are you feeling better?" Hermione asked having looked up and seen him.

Harry barely resisted rolling his eyes and nodded his head instead. "Yeah the walk around the lake cleared my thoughts up. I'm going to head up to bed early though, night Hermione, Ron." He said as walked on to the staircase leading to the boy's dorm and walked up them.

Hermione looked at the stairs with a calculating look on her face and then turned to the red head beside her, who was playing chess with Neville. "Do you think something is going on with Harry, Ron?" she asked.

Ron looked up at his girlfriend and rolled his eyes at her. "Mione, you worry too much! He's probably still hung up about Sir-Snuffles and just wants to be alone. If he wants to talk to us he will, stop worrying so much. You saw what happened last time, just give him time," Ron exclaimed. Hermione looked back to the staircase and sighed. Maybe she was worrying about Harry too much and should just let him be. With another heavy sigh she went back to her homework, deciding to, for once, give Harry the benefit of the doubt and let him be.

* * *

The match had been going on for an hour now and the score was 50 to 80 in Slytherins favor. Harry was watching from the Gryffindor stands ignoring Ron's slurs at the Slytherins and watching the game though his eyes strayed from Draco up in the air to the pitch itself and looking for the golden ball. The game had been fierce and fast between the two teams and the Slytherins were brutal in their executions of their moves. Just like Harry knew they would be. 

"….Slytherin in possession of the quaffle, Pucey passes to Nott, Nott to Pritchard and Pritchard soars toward the goal post. OH! Pritchard narrowly misses a bludger and…Score! Slytherin 90 and Ravenclaw 50. Those slimy Slytherins-"

"Finnigan! Don't make me drag you off of there," McGonagall warned as she glared at Seamus Finnigan the new announcer.

"Sorry professor," was heard muttered. "Slytherin in possession again, Nott passes to Pucey and – the quaffle is intercepted by Ravenclaw chaser Roger Davies who passes to Chambers who passes to Bradley and Bradley goes to the goal and OH! Stopped by Slytherin keeper Baddock."

Draco was up in the air shifting his gaze from his search of the snitch to the other seeker, Cho Chang and back. He was vaguely listening to the commentary going on as he searched. He was about to drift to the other side of the pitch when he caught a glint of gold out of the corner of his eye. Turning sharply he saw the snitch at the ground near the Hufflepuff stands and took off after it. Chang was by the Slytherin stands looking and further away then him and he had the advantage of distance. He vaguely heard Finnigan announce his sighting of the snitch as he sped toward it, ducking under a Ravenclaw chaser, dodging a bludger and side-swiping another chaser as he sped toward the gold glinting ball. The ball fluttered where it floated for a moment before zipping of to the right. Draco tailed in, barely noticing Chang out of his periphery as he sped after the snitch, twisting and turning and diving for it. Clutching the handle of the broom in one hand tightly he reached out with his left as he swerved a flyer. He inched slowly closer to the ball catching the other seeker about a half a foot back from him and leaned forward flat against the broom as, urging it forward faster. Suddenly, the next thing he knew the gold ball was clutched in his hand, golden wings flapping frantically for release and he was sporting a big smirk on his face as he turned his broom and looked at Chang.

"And Slytherin wins 240 to 90!" Came the half-hearted announcement from Seamus. The pitch was racked in cheers from the Slytherins and boo's from the majority of the other three houses. Harry looked at Draco as the blonde flew a few laps around the pitch and smirked to himself. Draco was such a dramatic show-off sometimes. The stands slowly began to clear as people began to vacate the pitch and return to their common rooms. Harry was walking down from the stands and looked back briefly.

"Guys go ahead without me I have to talk to Dumbledore about something," Harry said casually.

"We can go with you if you want." Ron said as Hermione said, "Is this about V-Voldemort?" Harry just stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

"No guys it has nothing to do with that. I just had to ask him something," Harry said barely able to keep the exasperation from his voice.

"Okay mate, we'll meet you back at the common room." Ron said and he and Hermione walked off. Harry circled back and made his way to the Slytherin locker room and waited off to the side out of sight. He saw as the players all walk into the locker room and slumped against the wall as he waited. After about ten minutes he saw all of them but Draco walk out and waited for them to walk off before strolling into the locker room.

Draco was standing in a pair of black trousers, no shirt with his back to Harry. Harry stopped at the sight for a moment before shaking his head and leaning against a set of lockers, arms crossed. "Arrogant prat aren't you? Nice win by the way," Harry said nonchalantly.

Draco jerked a bit before turning to look at Harry and smirking. "I know I'm good, that's not arrogance but fact. And thanks I thought it was nice too. What are you doing in here anyway?" Draco asked

"Oh nothing," Harry said finding it a bit hard for some reason to keep his eyes off of Draco's exposed torso. "Just thought I'd remind you not to get too cocky. You may have beaten Ravenclaw but Gryffindor will trounce you when we play at the end of the year." Harry stated with a smirk, keeping his eyes on Draco's face.

"Please," Draco scoffed. "Your delusions are pathetic. Gryffindor can't always win and this year I'll prove it." Draco said as he pulled a grey jumper on. Harry was dually glad and felt a twinge of something that he didn't even want to think about. Draco stood with his feet apart and arms cross over his chest, head tilted haughtily as he stared at Harry, smirk firmly in place.

"I think you, you blonde nuisance, are the one with delusions. You have never won against me and you never will," Harry said arrogantly taking the same stance as Draco.

"Well you pathetic Gryffindor scum," Draco spat but the sparkle in his eyes betrayed his mirth of the situation. "You just better be prepared for the game and to lose because this year, I'm going to win!"

"Keeping dreaming Malfoy," Harry drawled.

"You too Potter," Draco drawled back. They looked at each before bursting out into laughter.

"I'm going to go before Ron and Hermione send a search party for me or something," Harry said once he recovered from his laughter and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I should too their having a victory party tonight and I should be there," Draco said with a long suffering sigh.

"Have fun Draco," Harry called over his shoulder as he left the locker room, having already forgotten seeing Draco with his shirt off and made his way back to the common room thinking up excuses for what he talked about with Dumbledore.

* * *

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	11. Bloody Valentine, The Dance and Cho’s re

Chapter 11: Bloody Valentine, The Dance and Cho's renewed interest

The rest of January went by quickly. Harry and Draco talked when they could without trying to draw too much attention. Harry had completely forgotten the incident in the locker room with Draco and things were just as they had been between them since Christmas. Classes were as hard as ever as the professors worked them endlessly, giving them tons of homework. Everything seemed to be going well so far, maybe a bit to well.

* * *

Harry awoke the morning of February first lazily and lay back in his comfortable four poster bed. He kept his eyes closed as he lay still for a moment before stretching slowly, languidly in an almost cat-like fashion with a small throaty groan. Finally opening his eyes; tanned lids rising to reveal sleepy green eyes, Harry stared at the mahogany canopy of his bed and sighed heavily. It was the second month of term and so far everything seemed to be going fine. Very minor scar action, no Voldemort appearances nothing really bad happening so far. _Maybe I can get through this year with little to no incidents_, Harry thought only half joking and only half hopeful. Stretching a bit once more and scratching at his bare stomach lightly Harry arose from the bed. 

It was still a bit early and the other boys were still asleep, so grabbing everything he needed for his morning shower he lazily walked from the room. By the time he was almost done his shower, just finishing rinsing, the other four boys stumbled in muttering groggy good mornings to Harry who was wrapping a towel around his waist. Nodding and mumbling back he quickly left to finish getting ready. Soon all the boys were fully awake and dressed and heading down to the common room where they met up with Hermione exchanging morning greetings before they left to make their ways to the Great Hall.

As Harry walked along with Ron and Hermione on his left he got hit with a feeling of something like apprehension and dread. He faltered in his step imperceptibly at the heavy feeling but continued to walk. The feeling seemed to deepen with every step he took towards the Great Hall. As they neared the door of the Great Hall he could feel his heart beating faster, feel and hear the thrum of it in his ears as they walked through and sat in their seats; Harry on one side facing the Slytherin table and Ron and Hermione on the other side facing Harry.

"Harry are you alright you look a bit flushed?" Hermione inquired as they began to pile food onto their plates.

"Yes Hermione I'm fine," Harry answered with a small smile as he nibbled on his toast. "I haven't had the chance to really read those spell books you and Remus got me and I'm a bit excited about trying out some of those spells." He elaborated, the lie falling easily from his lips. It worked as he thought it would and Hermione's eyes lit up at the mention of books.

"I looked into it briefly before I sent it to you and there are some very interesting hexes in there. I even bought a copy for myself," Hermione babbled in her excitement.

"Ron," Harry cut in, not really wanting to hear Hermione's 'teacher-babble' at this moment. "Did you finish the Charms essay due on Thursday?"

Hermione turned and looked at Ron with a glare and a, "Did you Ronald? Well?" when he didn't answer immediately. Ron looked at Hermione with wide eyes before looking at Harry with a pleading expression.

"Um, well no not yet but Hermione! It's not due for another three days," he whined as Hermione glared harder and started in on a rant about N.E.W.T.s, and applying yourself to your education. "Thanks a lot mate," Ron muttered to Harry with a tiny glare as Hermione went on. Harry shrugged half apologetically and was about to go back to thinking about the feelings he felt that morning when owl post arrived.

Harry looked up not really expecting anything when he saw a large black eagle owl flying his way with a big red bow with black ribbon. The owl dropped the box into the now empty spot in front of Harry who had pushed his plate away. The box landed neatly on the table and Harry stared at it as many around the Hall did.

"Harry maybe you sho–" but whatever Hermione was about to say was cut off as the bow at the top of the box slowly undid itself, the ribbons on each side falling softly to the table. Harry stood from his seat and backed up a few steps, the others surrounding him doing the same as the lid to the box opened and a metallic-coppery smell filled the air. Harry knew that scent only to well and paled drastically as the sides fell away to reveal a red and bloody human heart on a silver plate.

There were gasps and screams around the hall as many caught sight of it. Those still surrounding it at the table scrambled quickly away. Harry heard retching but continued to stare wide eyed at the human heart. He didn't even noticing the other owl swooping in until the howler was resting beside the heart. And before he could try to do anything or get it out of the Hall the howler unfolded itself and the silence was broken by the cold, high sibilant voice that was Lord Voldemort.

I KNOW THIS IS EARLY POTTER BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD SEND YOU AN EARLY VALENTINE'S GIFT, RATHER APPROPRIATE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. THE HEART CAME FROM A MUDBLOOD WITH RED HAIR AND GREEN EYES…SORT OF LIKE YOU MOTHER REALLY! (There was a low hissing laugh that followed that statement) HAPPY EARLY VALENTINE'S DAY POTTER, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN…AND HERE'S AN EXTRA LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU!

And then the Hall was filled with the high pitched screams of a woman and her pleading that lasted about ten seconds before the howler destroyed itself. The hall was silent, not a sound made as all stared at the Gryffindor table. There were many pale faces around the Hall, some even a bit green. Harry didn't see any of it as words kept running through his head – _mudblood, red hair and green eyes, like your mother_ – he kept hearing that and the screams echoing in his mind. Then there was shift in the air, a crackle of magic that rippled out from one source. Harry. It was small at first until the air began to get heavier and thicker with the magic being exuded, the air seeming to hum faintly.

"Harry?" the voice was so far away it seemed and sounded muffled but Harry wasn't eve paying attention to that – _just like you mother_ – no not paying attention to those calling his name at all. He felt something building up in him pushing against something else that seemed to be blocking it path. He felt the pressure of this something raging at being blocked, spiraling and twisting wildly within him. He felt pressure at his temples, behind his eyes and from somewhere within him – _like your mother_ – that he knew from classes was his magical core. His body began to ache all over; a dull throb in his limbs, hands, feet, chest, all over. _Like you mother_. And then the world spun and everything went black.

* * *

He came to consciousness slowly like he was swimming through syrup or some other thick substance. His head pounded mercilessly and he decided to keep his eyes shut. Anyway his eyes hurt too along with a dull pain throughout his whole body. Eyes closed he listened around for any sound and heard muffled noises. Voices, perhaps? He couldn't tell as his head felt like someone was taking a blunt object to it and his ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. Deciding the muffled noises were unimportant as he couldn't understand them he turned his mind to why he felt like he did. 

At first he couldn't remember why and he furrowed his brow which hurt and he stopped doing it before digging deeper for an answer. Thinking hard he remembered getting up and ready for the day, heading to the Great Hall, talking to Hermione and then owl post came. He struggled to remember what happened next but was having a hard time grasping the events. Concentrating harder the events began to form slowly, excruciatingly so. The owl post came and he received a red box with black ribbon and bow and then…the box opened and…gasping silently the whole thing came back to him.

_A red and bloody heart…_

_Human heart._

_A howler and Voldemort's voice..._

_Mudblood...red hair...green eyes...like your mother..._

He cried out and sat up quickly and then groaned at the pain that shot through his head and body.

"Take it easy Mr. Potter!" came the sharp tone of Madam Pomfrey. "Here," she continued handing him a vial that he looked at blankly with wide eyes still lost in memories. _Like you mother._ "Well drink it Mr. Potter you no doubt have a terrible headache." Pomfrey said a considerably softer tone to her voice.

Harry mechanically drank the potion not even tasting it as it went down. _Like you mother._ That voice kept whispering, slithering through his mind. He vaguely noticed Pomfrey hand him two more vials that he drank just as mechanically. He felt the pain in his head and body slowly fade and he pushed that voice and those words to the back of his mind. Somewhat calmer Harry finally looked around him. Besides Pomfrey who was standing beside him running her wand over him Dumbledore was also in the room sitting in a comfy arm chair.

"It's good to see you finally awake Harry," Dumbledore said with a small smile, eyes less twinkle-y than usual. Beside Harry Pomfrey 'hmm-ed' as she finished her examination.

"From what I can see you're fine Mr. Potter. I think the shock of the situation interacted with your magic, as extreme emotions tend to do and you blacked out from the mix of emotions and you magic running wild. But your fine now as far as I can tell," Pomfrey stated. Harry looked at Dumbledore before looking to Pomfrey, hands rubbing together palm to palm.

"How long have I been out?" he asked, voice just loud enough to hear. He ran his hand up and down his clothed arm, scratching his shoulder absent-mindedly.

"You've been out," Pomfrey paused with a thoughtful look. "About three hours now." Harry nodded slowly not knowing what to really say to that. He was focusing most of his energy on keeping that voice out of his mind.

"When can I get out here?" he asked voice still low and eyes fixed on the white bed sheet.

"Just to make sure your fine I want you to stay for a little bit more. If your fine and haven't gotten a headache or any other pain by dinner time then you can go to the Great Hall." Pomfrey said with a firm tone. Harry sighed, not really wanting to stay here any longer.

"It's just to make sure there are no other problems Harry, it won't be so bad." Dumbledore said, twinkle fully returned at the sour look on Harry's face. Harry just nodded his head silently. "Harry how do you fe-" Dumbledore began before being cut off.

"I think I'm going to have a lie down, sir," the tone was polite if a bit cool as Harry moved to get under the sheets of the bed, pulling them up to his shoulders and turning on his side, back to Dumbledore. A look of mild irritation flashed across the old face before the old man sighed.

"Alright Harry but if you want to talk my door is always open," Dumbledore said as he rose from the armchair, vanishing it and walking slowly from the infirmary, mind slightly trouble. Harry lay on the bed as Pomfrey walked away to her office with an order to call her if needed. He shut his eyes tightly trying to block out everything. He wished all this was a horrible nightmare that wasn't real, that never happened. _Like you mother._ He didn't realize he was even crying until a small almost inaudible sob escaped from his throat. He should've known things were going too easy for it to continue without problems. He was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived after all and nothing was ever easy for him. _Like you mother._ He cried softly, tears streaming down his face and nose and onto his pillow. Eyes closed the image of the bloody heart taunted him mercilessly as if painted to the back of his eyes lids. He gasped softly as he choked on some tears and shook his head as much as possible trying to get rid of the image. Like quicksand the image faded only to be replaced with a horrid picture of a woman with red hair and green eyes with a gaping hole in her chest where a heart should be. _Like your mother._ He cried until he drifted off to sleep dreams of bloody hearts and red haired, green eyed women haunting his sleep.

* * *

Harry didn't go to the Great Hall that night and had dinner in the infirmary with his friends, who had come by before to see if he was going. It was a strained affair between the three as Hermione attempted to get Harry to talk about what happened and how he was feeling and he blatantly stopped all her attempts with either flat declinations or cold looks. Ron had also tried, rather awkwardly, to get Harry to talk with the same results. After their fourth attempt with no success they gave up and the three ate in tensed silence. 

They had left for the Tower after that and once back there Harry had gone up to the dorm where he now was sitting. The curtains were shut, locked and silenced for privacy as he sat on his bed Indian style with his journal, pen and butterfly knife with him. He was staring at the knife silently, eyes dull. Picking up the knife he pulled of the shirt he was wearing and, with wand in other hand murmured something under his breath. The glamour disappeared and the scars that adorned his upper body both self-inflicted and not became visible.

Putting his wand down he clutched the knife tighter in his hand and looked at his arms. Closing his eyes he pressed cold steel to the warm flesh of his bicep, held it there for a moment feeling the pressure before dragging the blade sideways across his bicep. It wasn't a deep cut, no he still had enough of his bearings not to cut too deeply, but the skin broke and blood bloomed over the cut before dripping down his arm and the cold ache receded a bit. Moving the blade down a bit from the first cut in an almost mechanical way he laid steel to bloody flesh and made another cut. The ache faded a bit more.

Switching hands he repeated the actions feeling the ache fading some more. Finally setting the knife down on the bed he let the cuts bleed, red crimson liquid flowing freely down his arms. He sat and stared straight ahead, dull eyes seeing nothing. He sat that way for a few minutes before grabbing his wand and cleaning the blood up. The blood flow had stopped and he didn't bother putting a shirt back on debating whether to put the glamour back on and decided in the end to put it back on. _Precaution was best_, he thought and even his thoughts sounded dry and dull. Flipping the knife back closed he put it to the side. Picking up his journal and a pen he opened to a blank page.

_**Feb. 1, 1997**_

_**Today started out fine, I woke up and felt good everything seemed to be going so well. But I'm Harry fucking Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived and nothing can ever go well in my life, right? Right. So I head to the Great Hall with my friends and I start getting this feeling of like impending doom or some morbid shit like that. It was like dread and apprehension that only seemed to get worse the closer we got to the Great Hall. That should have been my fucking clue right there that whatever was wrong or going to go wrong was happening there. Breakfast started out okay though the feeling stayed with me.**_

**_Then owl post came and I got a wonderful gift (notice my sarcasm). Well what happened next was just, horrible and traumatizing to say the least. Voldemort, fucking bastard that he is, sent me an early valentine's gift. A human heart. Yes, a bloody human heart. As if that wasn't enough the bastard sent a howler also. I don't remember the whole thing but there is a part of it I do remember. He'd said: The heart came from a mudblood (his words) with red hair and green eyes. Sort of like your mother. That stung me badly. I felt that murderous rage I had for Him after Sirius die resurface with a vengeance. I don't even really remember much of what happened, just that I felt my magic trying to lash out and something like a block or something on my magic. Maybe I'll check into that, who knows? Anyway, I blacked out after that and woke in the infirmary. _**

**_Truth is told I never expected Voldemort to do something like that. But the man wants me dead after all and if there is one thing I know about the bastard he'd want me broken first. A pride thing on his part I think. Like your mother. It was said in that same voice, another statement that was stuck in my head. Kill the spare… Like your mother. It was all in the same high cold hissing voice._**

_**Kill the spare.**_

_**Like your mother.**_

_**Another statement for me to carry with me, in my head always. They say bad things come in pairs or so I've heard but with me I'd say to double that. I AM Harry Potter after all.**_

* * *

The next nine days passed and in the beginning the stares and whispers weren't as easy to ignore as he had been able to do before. It seemed everyone was looking at him and some of the stares were looks that said 'is he going to blow up' and others were looks of pity that he couldn't stand or the smirks some of the Slytherins gave him. Draco played his role in a more subdued way than in previous years but sent a note to Harry letting him know he didn't mean any of it. The blonde stayed away from saying anything too harsh which Harry was thankful for. 

Slowly over the last few days of the week things eased up a bit and the staring and whispering wasn't as oppressive as the first two days was. On the ninth day, the following Monday, Dumbledore made the announcement of a Valentine's dance on the fourteenth for fifth through seventh years. Harry wasn't particularly excited about it but refrained from saying anything about what he thought.

The days leading up to the dance were filled with shopping for dress robes if needed and getting dates for the dance. Harry had made a promise to himself at the announcement of the dance that he wasn't going to ask anyone and was going alone, though he would have preferred to not go at all. Hermione and Ron persisted that he asks someone but he had firmly refused. The few girls who had gotten the courage to ask him he had politely turned down. While he did get new dress robes he steadily stood by his choice to go alone. He knew Draco was going with sixth year Slytherin Tracey Davis himself as the blonde had said when they had last talked. Something about Malfoy's and not showing up alone at social gatherings, Harry had really just tuned the blonde out.

As the day of the dance approached Harry felt more miserable by the second about the whole event. He was still feeling pretty bad from the human heart incident and the dance wasn't lightening his spirits any. But what could go wrong at the dance that hadn't already gone wrong with this month? He was sure that at least nothing would go wrong, or at least he hoped.

* * *

The day of the dance was here and Harry had just walked into the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione and some other Gryffindors. The Hall had been decorated with red and white and pink streamers everywhere. Red and pink cut out hearts with white lace frills were floating among the candles near the enchanted ceiling. Pink fairy lights flitted around the hall darting among candles, hearts and people. Hermione was saying how nice the Hall turned out. Harry thought it looked a little nauseating himself but didn't say anything as he shared an eye roll with Ron. Things were still a bit rocky among the three of them but they had settled their differences enough to be around each other and it not being uncomfortable. 

Situated around the Hall instead of the house tables were small round tables that sat six people. The group of Gryffindors walked toward a table taking a seat. Neville, who was wearing sable colored robes pulled out the seat for his date, Ginny, who was wearing dark red robes with black trim. Next to Ginny sat Hermione who was wearing azure blue robes whose chair was pulled out by Ron who was wearing rust red colored robes. Harry sat between Ron and Neville, Ron on his right and Neville his left in emerald green robes with gold trim. He was the only one without a date at the table since he had come alone.

The Hall wasn't completely filled yet and slowly students began trickling in. As the others talked Harry let his eyes drift over the Hall, looking at the students. The majority of fifth through seventh year Gryffindors was there already, as was the Ravenclaws and most of the Hufflepuffs. Only a few of the Slytherins were there and those students not already there were trickling in through the door. He scanned the hall and sighed, he really would prefer not to be there. The month started out bad as it is and this dance really wasn't improving his mood.

"And here comes Malfoy flaunting in late," Harry heard Ron mutter and looked towards the door. "Bloody git," Ron added as they table turned to the doors. Draco Malfoy stood just inside them in grey silk robes that shined silver the light, customary haughty smirk in place. His chin length hair fell softly around his face, a few strands drifting into stormy grey eyes. On his arm was Tracey Davis whose chestnut brown shoulder blade length hair fell in beautiful spiral curls. She was wearing pale powder blue silk robes with darker blue trim that matched her pale crystal blue eyes that had darker blue flecks in it. They walked into the Hall and over to a table where Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were seated.

"He's got a flair for the dramatic almost worse than Snape," Ginny commented as she turned back to the table. Harry looked on a little longer absentmindedly thinking Draco's hair looked nicer down then gelled back before focusing his mind back to his table. Once everyone was in the Hall Dumbledore stood and gave a small speech about this and that, Harry wasn't really paying attention and then clapped his hand as the food for the meal appeared. The six ate and chatted as soft music played in the background. It would have been a nice setting if Harry hadn't been so moody about not wanting to be there. As the meal came to an end and people began to get up to dance Harry felt himself relaxing a bit.

He was sitting at the table lounged back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest staring unfocusedly over the dance floor. He was absentmindedly bobbing his head to the music. He was so focused on not focusing on anything that he didn't here the person calling him until they tapped his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Hannah Abbot who was smiling at him shyly. Inwardly he groaned having a vague idea what this was about.

"Yes Hannah?" he asked politely, masking the annoyance and nervousness he felt.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to maybe dance with me Harry?" she asked, biting a bit on her bottom lip. Harry repressed a sigh. He didn't really want to dance, memories of the Yule Dance fourth year springing to his head. He'd gotten marginally better since then but couldn't really do the whole 'formal dancing' like the wizarding world seemed to be partial too.

"Sorry Hannah but I think I'm just going to sit and watch for bit," Harry replied with an apologetic grin. Hannah pouted and sighed.

"Are you sure?" she asked and he nodded his head. "Alright, maybe later then?"

"Maybe," Harry replied with a shrug and watched the blonde haired girl smile and walk off. Harry sighed and just held himself from rolling his eyes. This was one of the reasons he hadn't wanted to come to the dance. Standing from the table he walked to the table along the opposite wall that had snacks and drinks and got him self something to drink before going back to his seat.

Over the next half hour five girls from all houses except Slytherin came to ask him to dance and he turned each one down as politely as possible. He was developing a headache, a small pain behind his eyes as the night wore on and was desperate to leave. He had talked to his friends throughout the night when they weren't dancing and Hermione was all huffy with him for not dancing with any of the girls who asked him. He had passed Draco once and traded a few insults and barbs on his way to and from the snack table but other than that had mostly stayed at the table.

Deciding he had stayed long enough as the dance was almost over he rose and started making his way to the door. As he was halfway across the Hall he was stopped bye someone saying his name behind him. The voice was familiar and he closed his eyes before opening them, pasting on a smile and turning around. Cho Chang stood behind him in her sapphire blue robes with a brilliant smile on her face. He felt the slightest twinge in his gut. Cho was a beautiful girl after all but he had lost most of his attraction to her after last year. Putting on a smile he looked at her and said, "Yes Cho?"

"Hey Harry, would you like to dance with me?" Cho asked sweetly with a small flutter of her black lashes looking at Harry from under them. Harry swallowed a little, part annoyance at being delayed from leaving and part at the look Cho was giving him. He paused and thought for a minute about what to do but in the end decided he really didn't want to dance.

Shaking his head and pasting on the well practiced apologetic smile he'd adopted over the night he looked back at the Ravenclaw girl. "No Cho but thank you, I think I'm just going to go back to the Tower. I'm pretty tired," Harry said with a shrug. Cho pouted and stepped closer to Harry laying a hand on his arm.

"Please? It's just one dance," she said looking into Harry's eyes. He bit his lip and looked at her, at her slightly protruding lower lip and the cute pout on her face. He felt arousal curl in his belly because, really, she was a very beautiful girl.

"Sorry Cho but I'm really not good at dancing," he stuttered out blushing faintly. He would much rather not embarrass himself with his poor attempt at formal dancing, thank you very much!

"If you sure Harry," she said with a sad look on her face, pout still very much evident. Harry nodded and she gave him a small smile as he turned and continued on his course out of the Hall not seeing the look in Cho's eyes that had narrowed at his back and held a calculating glint.

* * *

Three days after the dance Cho approached Harry again and asked him out on a date to Hogsmeade. Though he was skeptical about a repeat performance of their one and only other date back in fifth year, Cho had assured that they wouldn't be going to Madam Puddifoot's again. After a moment of thought he had agreed thinking no harm could come out of trying. 

Now he sat in his room, bed hangings drawn, locked and silenced as he sat with his back to the headboard. His black leather bound journal and pen lay in front of him in his lap.

_**Feb. 17, 1997**_

**_Well what is there to really say about what has happened? Cho asked me out for a date to Hogsmeade this Saturday and I said yes. I'm not as stuck on her as I was in 4th and 5th year but I still think she's a pretty girl. I mean who wouldn't? I told Ron and Hermione about it and they think it's nice that I'm 'finally doing something besides being by myself constantly' as Hermione had said. I like being alone a lot though because it gives me time to think about things I cant talk about with Ron or Hermione. The stuff like I talked about with Draco in the astronomy tower that night. They would understand where I'm coming from with my views._**

**_Speaking of Draco I told him about the date and he in true Malfoy fashion asked me why I was going on a date with her when the last one was 'a big fucking mess' as he had put it. Now that I think of it I'm not actually sure why I'm doing it. Maybe some futile hope that there's a chance between us though I'm not as enthusiastic about going out with her as I would have been last year. Well anyway, I'm going out with here this Saturday, I wonder how things will go this time?_**

**_

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Theflamingphoenix, Vampire-child-of-the-ligh, Hkokuryuha, Draco8448, butterfly-soul, goddessa39, and i love you (who was anonymous): Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I really enjoy them. Sorry for the late-ness of this chapter but I've been busy and only able to do so much. So please forgive me!


	12. Suspicions, Wandering thoughts and the D

AN: This beginning of this chapter is going to take a step back some. Not anything crucial but for the first half it's going to go back some since it's focused on Severus (and Dumbledore) and a vital part of the story. Sorry for any confusion there may be!

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Chapter 12: Suspicions, Wandering thoughts and the Date 

Severus Snape was sweeping through the halls black robes billowing around him in his usual style. It was a half hour after dinner and he was on his way to Dumbledore's office where the headmaster had called a meeting to explain to him and McGonagall exactly what had happened that morning. After that morning's incident with Potter Dumbledore had informed them that he would answer the questions they had been asking after dinner.

Severus was very interested to know what was going on. He had seen display's before of a person losing control of their magic when emotional or stressed out but yesterday had been interesting. The power that Potter had showed spoke volumes of how powerful the boy would be but something seemed off about the incident. It would seem as nothing more than a burst of emotion that lashed out in his magic and acted as any normal stressed witches or wizards would. But the magic had felt strained in a sense and he wasn't sure why that was. Something had been off about Potter's magic, he was sure of it. But what had been off was beyond him. He had a few ideas but they were skeptical at best. Arriving at the gargoyle he bit out the password and strolled through and onto the moving stairs. Once at the top he opened the door and strode into the room.

"Severus," Dumbledore greeted with a smile to the potions master. Severus nodded as he took a seat in one of the chairs set in front of the headmaster's desk. "Minerva should be along any minute now. Lemon drop?" he asked holding out a tin of yellow candies.

"No thank you Albus," he declined with a small shake of his head. They waited in silence until McGonagall entered the room and took a seat. She, too, turned down the offer of a lemon drop.

"Alright Albus we're here. Now explain, please, what happened today," McGonagall said, lips pursed, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed.

"Well my dear professors," Dumbledore began in a calm tone. "After the arrival of the…item…from Voldemort today its effect on Harry was expected. His magic lashed out in his highly emotional state. It's common, as you know, for that to happen.

"Yes it is Albus but Potter blacking out wasn't expected. Also," Severus said voice calm and even, not giving anything of his thoughts away. "The magic that could be felt coming off him felt different somehow, almost strained as if it was forcing itself out of him. Why would that be?"

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed so minutely that it would have been missed if Severus wasn't so trained to watch people's actions. Dumbledore tilted his head fractionally to the side as if in thought. "Well Severus, my boy," he began and his voice sounded completely calm and normal. "Harry is coming into his magical maturity and his magic will be trying to level itself. We all knew he would be powerful one day. Obviously all the strain; Voldemort's supposed gift and his magic trying to find the best outlet possible it was all too much for him."

"That makes sense Albus, especially considering last year's events and the lost of his godfather. Poor boy must be under all kinds of stress," McGonagall stated with a small shake of her head for her student.

"Yes, I'm sure Potter's fragile Gryffindor sensibilities have him wrought with guilt," Severus sneered, keeping his thoughts to himself. Somehow he was sure Dumbledore was holding back something, positive of it really. Dumbledore was hiding something about this whole mess.

McGonagall glared at the black haired man beside her. "The boy has been through a lot Severus," she said tersely.

"Yes, he has been but let's hope no more incidents like this occur. Well if there are no more questions?" he looked to both who shook there heads silently. "I think were done for now then. Would either of you like to have tea before you leave?" they both declined politely before standing and leaving the office.

Severus began to stalk in the direction of the dungeons and his rooms. His mind was set on the conversation that just took place and what he thought. He was definitely suspicious of what the headmaster said. While the answers the old man gave were logical he just had a gnawing feeling that something was missing from what Dumbledore had said. The old coot was known to leave out bits of information before so why not now? Maybe a little research was in order.

* * *

It was night, well into it really but he couldn't sleep. Or more specifically he didn't want to sleep. So he took to wandering around an unused part of the castle, strolling almost casually through the dusty corridors. It was another one of those nights with no Dreamless Sleep potion and thoughts raging in his mind. Draco didn't know whether to appreciate these nights or not anymore. The corridor was lighted with moonlight that streamed in through the windows that decorated the hall. 

The last two weeks had been hectic to say the least. The starting of the month had been a decidedly horrible way for anyone to have it start and Draco felt bad that Harry's month started out the way it did. He always knew from the stories his father had told him and others that had been hearsay that the Dark Lord is harsh and cruel but the 'gift' he had sent Harry on the first of February had, admittedly surprised him. And the Howler was just terrible. As a Slytherin Draco could see the opportunity for the emotional and mental damage that it was, as any good Slytherin would. But as Harry's friend now and knowing Harry better than he had before he couldn't help but feel sorry about the incident that occurred.

But what happened after that was something that still shocked Draco. The feel of the magic at Hogwarts is always there, never suffocating but always felt. The heaviness of the magic that rolled off Harry that day, that seemed to saturate the air in his rage had been overwhelming, intense. Even at the Slytherin table he had felt it and, as he remembered the brief glance at his housemates, he knew that they had felt it also. And then Harry had fallen to the ground, having blacked out. But Draco hadn't forgotten the magic that had rolled off of Harry. The other boy was going to be powerful there was no doubt about that.

Sighing Draco stopped by a window and stared out onto the grounds of Hogwarts. He had been purposely avoiding thinking about it but with the events of the first of February having happened the thoughts had invaded his mind. Voldemort, the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Whatever you wanted to call the bastard, it didn't matter in the scheme of things. He knew that soon, most likely within the next year if not less that You-Know-Who would be in the stage of recruiting his followers' children. And Draco knew that he was pretty much sure about not wanting to join, having too much knowledge of what being a Death Eater entailed.

He shuddered involuntarily as he thought about it. In fourth year, or the summer after it, when he wasn't busy with things for Voldemort, Lucius had decided to show Draco some of his memories of the Dark Lord's first reign and Death Eater meetings. It was his father's way, he had suspected, of letting Draco know that he would be joining Voldemort and what he should expect. Admittedly, it wasn't what he was expecting and it hadn't done anything for him but put fear in him and started the slow burn of not wanting to join the madman. The memories were placed in a pensieve and he viewed meetings, raids and dark revels. Before the age of fifteen he had seen torture, death and rape and he was sickened by it. Even more sickened that his father seemed to enjoy all that went on. It may have been second-hand, seeing it through someone else's point of view but it didn't make it any better to see.

Shaking his head quickly, he glared harshly out of the window. He couldn't think about that anymore not tonight anyway. He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again, grey eyes intense. Licking his lips he scowled at nothing in particular. It was two days until Harry's date with that Ravenclaw Chang, and for some reason Draco couldn't understand he felt mildly annoyed about it. Ever since Harry had told him about the date he had felt an irrational irritation about it. Harry was going on a date with Cho Chang. Why should he feel annoyed by that?

There were a few reasons he knew why he would feel annoyed by this event and none of them remotely set well with him. One would be that if Harry began spending more time with Chang he would be spending even less time with him and this option made Draco seem childish and needy. He wasn't childish or needy, thank you very much and that choice was preposterous. But the other choice wasn't any better and possibly worse. Draco wasn't a stranger to attractions to the same gender. There were a few stints with a couple of girls; Pansy being the first in fourth year which he found sexually satisfying if nothing else and a string of girls during the summer after fourth year.

Fifth year through all that had been going on had been eye opening to Draco. He had begun admiring other males. At first he had chalked it up to anything but attraction; those good at Quidditch, those most likely to blame things on when he was in trouble, those most probable to use for blackmail purposes, anything but sexual attraction. But soon just looking had turned into dreaming, dreams that had left him sweating, panting and hard and a mix of disgusted with himself and slightly curious. Of course he had had no such intention to act on his sudden interest. How could he without being found out and it being reported back to his father? Merlin knows the man had enough ammunition to beat him for already.

His chance to find out though had come suddenly and without a proper warning. It had been after a Quidditch practice that it had happened.

He had stayed longer than his housemates to shower, having reveled in the chance to be alone and away from everyone. Besides he didn't want to walk back to his room sweaty and dirty. He had been standing under the warm spray slowly stroking his hard cock. He had been taking the time to indulge himself and figured no one would be coming back down. His hand had been gripped firmly around his cock and his hand stroking lazily. He had been oblivious to the world around him and he had stupidly let his guard down. So he had never seen or heard him enter the locker room. Hadn't even known he wasn't alone until a hand was settled firmly on his hip. He had tensed immediately and spun around quickly only to come eye to collarbone with someone. When he had looked up he had looked into the dark blue eyes of Adrian Pucey who was a 7th year Slytherin. He remembered it as if it had been yesterday that it had happened.

**Flashback**

Draco was looking up into those dark blue eyes extremely aware of his state of nudeness and his arousal. Adrian was smirking down at him with a look Draco wasn't sure he really wanted to classify in his eyes. Adrian was shirtless dressed only in black soft wool trouser and black shoes. Uncomfortable with the situation Draco used the tactic he knew best.

"What do you want Adrian?" he asked as calmly as he could. He shifted imperceptibly from one foot to the other in his uneasiness.

"I think it's what you want Draco," Adrian drawled smoothly reaching pass the frozen blonde with his free hand to turn the water off. He drew his hand back after the water was off and settled it on Draco's other hip.

"What do you mean by that? And remove your hands from me," Draco said coldly, glaring at the other boy. The other Slytherin was very attractive and Draco wasn't blind and with his newfound, though grudging attraction to the same sex he had noticed the other boy. And his sudden close proximity wasn't doing Draco any good.

Adrian's hands tightened briefly on the pale hips before caressing slowly up and down Draco's sides. "Come now Draco," Adrian purred as he leaned forward slowly and licked up Draco's neck. The blonde tried to pull away and the hands now once again on Draco's hips tightened almost painfully. "Your eyes have been wandering lately and don't think I haven't noticed that they have wandered over me more than a few times." He pulled back and smirked at the blonde.

"What makes you think I would use my precious time to give the likes of you a spare glance Pucey?" He asked and when he spoke his voice was a tad more breathy then he would have cared for it to be and his tone not nearly as icy as he would have liked. He glared at the other boy fiercely hoping to intimidate him.

Adrian smirked; his glare wasn't doing anything obviously and the other Slytherin leaned in again. He pressed soft lips against the blonde's ear. "Please Draco I've been noticing that you've been passing glances towards other boys. Oh, don't misunderstand you have been discreet but I watch. You in particular I've watched for little more than a year. You're a very attractive boy Draco, gorgeous really." And then Adrian caught the pale lobe between his teeth and began to nipple gently.

Draco involuntarily moaned at the feeling before biting down on his bottom lip. He brought his hands up and tried to push Adrian away but the other was stronger and bigger than him and grasped his hips tighter in response. "Let me go this instant Pucey or so help me I'll hex you from here to Wales and back!" Draco bit out harshly.

Adrian licked at the shell of Draco's ear, nipped at it once more and pulled back to smirk at Draco who had shivered a bit at the action. "Now, now, now Draco aren't you interested to know what its like to be touched," he said in a low, sultry voice as he stroked his hands up Draco's sides softly. "Kissed," he leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of the pink lips that were pursed together. "Fondled," he chuckled throatily as one hand reached down and ran feather-light over the blonde's erection and Draco made a strangled sound in the back of his throat at the action. He leaned in again, lips pressed to the pale ear and whispered hotly, "And sucked by another guy?" before nipping at the pale ear again.

Draco trembled minutely under the ministrations of the other boy and half-heartedly cursed himself for it. He was extremely interested, no matter how much he had protested in his mind. That low male voice whispering in his ears with obvious hints of promises of pleasures of a kind he considered forbidden was making him lose his sensibilities. _Pull yourself together!_ A part of his brain was screaming at him. He made an effort to pull himself together, to think. Pulling in a deep breath he shoved harder at Adrian than he had before and the other stumbled a bit letting go of him before straightening and smiling lasciviously.

Draco was breath just a bit more heavily and he tried to pull himself together and look like the Malfoy he was supposed to be. Standing as straight as possible with his best glare in place he snapped, "Your mad Pucey if you think I'd let you touch me, WILLINGLY, anymore than your filthy hands have already." He was thinking fast trying to figure the best way this little confrontation could go. He wanted to try this, Merlin, but did he want to. The only problem was making sure Pucey kept his mouth shut and didn't mention it because if it got back to his father – _break that line of thought now Draco, _he thoughtbecause he knew it would only lead to unpleasant thoughts.

"Well," Adrian drawled in that smooth tone of voice again. "I wouldn't take you unwillingly, so if your not willing I can just leave and find someone who is." he shrugged elegantly and turned around walking to the bench his shirt was on and picking it up. Draco saw and watched as he was about to pull his shirt back on, didn't want him to really, knew the other was playing this game to get him to stop him and he despised the other boy and himself for what he did next.

"How do I know you won't use this against me?" he said hating himself for even saying the words. Adrian half turned to look at the blonde, his white button up shirt hanging half on at the crook of his elbows and an eyebrow arched.

"What would there be to gain from it? Hmm?" Adrian asked casually.

"My utter humiliation for one," Draco bit out.

"I'll let you in on a little something Draco," Adrian said stepping towards the blonde a bit. "Half of the combined 6th and 7th years, both males and females, have tried something with the same sex. The majority of the time nothing comes from it, we have our fun before we go off and marry the opposite sex and produce heirs, some of the times having lovers on the side. It's the pure-blood curse as you know. Now you do have that odd one percent that tends to disregard the pure-blood tradition and never marry the opposite sex and, well you could imagine what happens then. Unless you come of age and then declare you're not going to marry, or through circumstances you somehow gain control of your inheritance, well, there's nothing that can be done. You have control of what you were to receive by inheritance and that's that. But those rarely ever happen because we all just do as tradition and marry and produce heirs." He shrugged as he continued.

"It's a well known and well accepted part of being a Slytherin, being a PURE-BLOOD which you'll understand next year. It's only held between 6th and 7th years and not all participate no matter that it's accepted in the magical world but it's held between the two years as an unspoken agreement to keep silent. I'm giving you the privilege of knowing before hand. There are a few other 5th years that know but that's because a 7th year approached them. This is our seventh year so were sort of fulfilling our fantasies while we can."

Draco tried to digest all he had been told. It was a lot to take in and he was stunned about this apparent secret of the 6th and 7th year Slytherins. His father and mother never mentioned much of their schooldays and he wondered if this tradition for the higher two years of Slytherins had existed then. He looked at Adrian with a calculating look trying to determine if he was telling the truth.

Adrian moved closer to Draco but refrained from touching him. "Whatever happens remains between us. We may be Slytherins but we do have our own code of…morals I guess you could say or ethics maybe. Either way, Slytherins stick together as you know and we hold secrecy unless it's advantageous to us. It's not like anything will come of it, after this year I leave to do whatever with my life, marry some pure-blood witch and produce an heir. Whatever happens remains between us," he repeated.

Draco thought about it some more before agreeing.

**End Flashback**

After he had agreed they hadn't done anything more than Adrian giving him a blow job and Draco returning with a hand job that Adrian had said was the best way to start off since he was unsure. He had awkwardly tossed the other off not really sure what to do and Adrian had given him his first blow job by a guy. After that encounter in the shower they had had a few more where during one of last ones Draco had tentatively and unsurely given his first blow job to another guy. Adrian had coached Draco on the best ways to go about it and he had learned under the older Slytherins tutelage. They hadn't gone further than giving each other blow jobs but Draco had learned from Adrian the finer points of being with another male. He had even explained the way of sex to him though they never went that far, Draco just couldn't work himself up to try that yet. And true to his word the fact that he, Draco Malfoy, was having any kind of sexual relations with another male was never brought up.

During the summer after the Aurors searched the manor for Dark Art's objects he and his mother had taken a vacation to France. Without his father around and his mother too busy caught up in herself he was able to have some fun and indulge his recent desire for the male gender. That summer he had had after much consideration and thought decided he wanted to know what it was like to be with another man in that way. So he had, with the careful brew of glamour potions, changed how he looked – the eyes and hair anyway. That summer a wonderful French teen, Jean-Luc, another wizard who he had met and had frequent encounters with was the one he finally sought to drown his curiosity in.

Jean-Luc had been patient with him and had seemed to understand his hesitancy and 'virgin' status when it came to men. The other boy, who had dark hair and eyes and a pale complexion like his own, had been easy to talk too coupled with his own new identity, Destin, a honey brown haired and ocean blue eyed teen. Draco was able to without repercussions let the other know that, no, he hadn't done that before. Jean-Luc had let him top first explaining that he, being the more experienced could coach Draco/Destin. After that first time Draco had asked what it was like to bottom and Jean-Luc had explained that it was a wonderful feeling once you got comfortable with it and explained that as long as you were prepared properly it would be easier. He had said that there would still be a bit of pain, granted but if done right the pleasure would be worth it. And Draco had found after finally getting himself worked up to bottom that Jean-Luc had been right and that, yes, it was worth it.

Shaking him self back to reality Draco looked out the window again and sighed. So he might just be, maybe, a little attracted to his friend who happened to be going out with some girl this weekend. But Harry was obviously straight and his very, very small attraction was easy to ignore. Or so he told himself. Heaving another side Draco turned away from the window and headed back to his room head only slightly more clear than before.

* * *

Harry woke a bit earlier than usual Saturday morning and briefly wondered why before it came to him. Today was Saturday and the day he was supposed to go on a date with Cho Chang. Harry lay back in his bed and stared at the canopy ceiling. He was going on a date with Cho today, they were going to have lunch together and then hang out after that and for some reason he felt a bit uneasy about it. When he had went out with Cho back in fifth year he had felt uneasy then too but today his uneasiness felt a bit different. Then it had been because he really liked Cho had wanted to go out with her and was worried about screwing things up. But he had gotten over his crush on Cho and now basically just found her attractive as he had before. He only agreed really, because he was hoping for something to take his mind of things. 

With a heavy sigh he rose from the bed and decided to get ready for the day, pushing his uneasiness to the back of his mind. Once showered and dressed, his dorm mates having woken up while he was showering were also dressed, he and Ron walked down to the common room where Hermione was waiting for them.

"You look very nice today Harry," Hermione said with a smile as she looked at her friend. He was wearing black baggy jeans that hung low on his hips and hugged nicely at his waist and ass and a blue sleeveless shirt that fitted his upper body well. The shirt had a black wolf on the front in a defensive stance as if ready to attack and he was wearing his black combat boots. His hair was as wild and untamed as ever with that 'just out of bed' or 'just shagged' look and his eyebrow had a blue barbell in it that match his shirt. All in all he looked very attractive.

"Thanks Hermione," Harry said with an almost embarrassed sort of grin.

"What about me Hermione, don't I look nice?" Came the whiny question from the redhead who stood beside Hermione. Harry barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the jealousy he could hear in Ron's voice.

"You look nice also Ron." Hermione said leaning in to kiss her boyfriend on the lips as he smiled happily at her. Harry did roll his eyes this time as he turned and began heading toward the portrait.

"Now lets go eat!" Ron exclaimed from behind Harry somewhere and together the three walked down to the Great Hall. As Harry walked into the Great Hall he passed a look over to the Ravenclaw table to see if Cho was there. She was there chatting among her friends and looked up as if she felt the stare on her. When she saw it was Harry she gave him a smile that he returned and a small look from under dark lashes before turning back to her friends. Harry sat down across from Ron and Hermione and began to eat his breakfast.

Breakfast passed quickly and then the three friends were on their way to Hogsmeade. The walk there was pleasant enough and for the first time in awhile Harry was not quite as annoyed to be around his friends. They walked around a few of the shops before it was time for Harry's lunch date with Cho. Ron and Hermione were walking with him there before they would separate.

"Now Harry, try to have a good time with Cho today. This might help you out of this bad mood you've been in," Hermione said in that tone Harry was really starting to hate. He sighed; knowing that he may have been a bit snappier than usual and a bit colder but Hermione's statement irked him.

"Hermione," Harry said holding back a long suffering sigh.

"Just try to have a good time, okay Harry?" she said quickly before he could say anything.

Harry rolled his eyes and this time let his long-suffering sigh be heard. "Alright Hermione," was his dry, monotonous reply. He didn't know why his friend was making such a huge deal of this when he barely cared. He felt apathetic about it all. Indifferent, really, not interested nor uninterested just aware of it. They reached the door to the Three Broomsticks and Harry went inside as Ron and Hermione went off someplace else. Looking around he saw Cho sitting at one of the tables and when she saw him she smiled as he walked over to her.

"Hi Cho," he said not really sure what else to say. She gave a small laugh as she gestured him to sit.

"Hi Harry," she said. There was an awkward pause that followed until Madam Rosmerta came up and asked them what they wanted. They each ordered and then sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"So," Harry said after a moment. "How are your classes going?" It was a neutral if lame attempt at conversation but it was the best he could do.

"They've been good, though, Snape's a slave driver with his class. Not anything unexpected just really annoying I guess," she said with a shrug and a roll of her eyes.

"I know what you mean," Harry said glad to at least have the uncomfortable silence gone. Madam Rosmerta came back with their lunch and set it down before walking away. "Sometimes I can't decide whether he hates me more or the fact that I got into his 6th year class but he seems to have some weird thing for making each and every one of my classes complete hell."

"Yeah, I've heard how he treats you in class. It's really horrible," she said touching a hand softly on his arm with a sympathetic smile. He shrugged and returned her smile.

"Yeah, well, I've been putting up with that since 1st year. You get kind of used to it after a while." He said as he took a bite of his lunch. "That and also showing that I actually know what were learning tends to either throw him off a bit or make him even angrier." He said and passed a look around him. There were a few other students about, some with dates or some with groups of friends. _Wonder what Draco's up to,_ he absently thought wondering what his blonde friend could be doing at this moment while he was here on a date that he was indifferent about.

"…don't you think?" Harry snapped back to attention realizing he had probably been zoning out for a bit.

Giving Cho a sheepish smile Harry said: "Uh, sorry. What was that you said?"

She gave him a rather odd look before shaking her head. "I said that DADA this year is much better with Devington compared to Umbridge. Don't you think so?"

"Oh! Yeah, it is much better but anyone had to be better than Umbridge. I would have been surprised if someone could be worst than her. Devington's done a great job so far this year," Harry replied. They spent a few minutes talking about the DADA classes as they ate their lunches and things began to relax a bit. It seemed a bit easier to talk to her now that she didn't seem to be crying and bringing up horrible events. The rest of their lunch passed with conversations of Quidditch, interests and other such things. Harry found his attention wander a few times wondering what Ron and Hermione were doing, or what Draco may be doing.

"Would you like to head back to the castle with me?" Cho asked when there was a pause in the conversation.

"Yeah, sure I guess," Harry answered with a shrug. He didn't know where Ron and Hermione were and didn't feel like really taking the time to find them.

"Great, let's go!" They rose from the table, Harry paying for the lunch, before they left the Three Broomsticks and began their trek back to the castle. They walked in comfortable silence for a bit, side by side as they walked back to the castle. Halfway there, as they were walking back through the forested part that would lead to the gates of the castle Cho stopped. When Harry realized she did he, too, stopped and looked at her questioningly.

"Cho?" he asked, looking at her a bit puzzled. She was giving him an odd look as she moved closer to him. Harry was vividly reminded of the D.A. meeting before Christmas break and what had happened then. He wondered if Cho was going to kiss him again. He stood there rooted to the spot. Cho stood in front of him and before he could even react soft lips were pressing to his. Shocked, he stood there frozen for a moment before he pressed his lips back to hers. Her arms came up to around his neck as their lips moved lightly against each other. As he slid his arms around her waist, he lightly ran his tongue across her bottom lip. The mouth under his opened and his tongue glided in rubbing lightly against Cho's. Finally the need for air became an issue and Harry pulled back.

They looked at each other for a moment before Cho smiled. Harry returned with a small smile himself.

"That was nice," Cho said, looking up at Harry from under her lashes coyly. Harry 'hmmed' lightly. They shared another kiss before they continued their journey back to the castle.

"Well I guess I'll see you later then?" Harry said as they were about to separate.

"Yeah I guess I'll see you around," she replied with a small smile. They stood their awkwardly for a moment before Harry turned and began walk in the direction of Gryffindor tower. Cho's smile slowly slid into a smirk as she watched the black haired boy leave.

_This will be easy,_ she thought as she turned to head back to Ravenclaw.

* * *

Harry left Cho not really knowing what to think of the date. On the one hand he was glad it went so well but on the other he wasn't sure why he felt a bit uneasy about it all. As he went on his way he contemplated about the date. He was so deep in thought he didn't even notice where he was going until he walked into another person. 

"Hey! Watch where you're go…Oh!" that was a familiar voice and Harry looked up quickly to see none other than Draco Malfoy who was looking at him from his sprawled position on the stone floor. "Potter," was said with a small sneer. "Why don't you watch where you're going you clumsy oaf?"

Harry picked himself up from the floor and glanced around casually. "Sod off Malfoy its not like I walked into you on purpose," Harry said. Draco looked around the hall before smirking at Harry.

"So how was the date?" he asked and quirked a brow. Harry shook his head and gestured the blonde to follow him. With an odd look Draco followed Harry at a small distance. Harry ducked into an almost unseen alcove and Draco after a moment followed in behind him. The alcove was slightly bigger than a broom closet. "How did you know this was here?"

"I just do," Harry said as he pulled his wand and cast a quick silencing charm. "It was okay I guess. I wasn't really all that excited about it to begin with if you remember. But yeah, I guess it was okay. We ending up kissing," Harry said with a shrug, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes, therefore missing the brief flash of jealousy that momentarily lit stormy grey eyes.

"Oh, you kissed?" Draco said in an even tone with a raised eyebrow. Harry opened his eyes and stared at the blonde for a moment.

"Yeah we kissed, twice, no big deal really." Harry said carelessly.

"Was it any good? I remember you told me about a kiss with her before. How did you describe it? Ah, yes, I believe you said it was "wet and a little disturbing, nothing at all like you expected" or something along those lines." Draco said tone still even. He knew his jealousy was fueling this and he should stop because, really, it could only end badly.

"That was how it was the first time around, last year. This time was better considering she wasn't crying. What they hell is wrong with you though?" Harry asked looking at the blonde with an expression between confusion and mild irritation. Draco's expression was shuttered, unreadable, something Harry hadn't seen since they made the transition from truce to friendship and it bothered him. Dug under his skin and irritated him like a rash.

"Nothing is wrong with me," Draco bit out calmly. "I was just politely asking about your _date _with Chang, is all."

"Then why are you being so, I don't know, annoying about it, more annoying than usual anyway?" Harry snapped glaring at his friend. He had straightened up form the wall and was now standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not being annoying, just curious as to how your date went," Draco said much more calmly and without the earlier bite.

"Huh, could've fooled me Draco, you seem a bit irritated." Harry replied.

"Well I'm not Harry," Draco snapped back and then rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you had such a nice time with Chang. Now if you excuse me I'm going to my room."

"You can be such a prat sometimes," Harry muttered under his breath. "Check the hall before just step out, people should be coming back from Hogsmeade now." Harry said louder looking at the blonde's back as he was about to leave. He got no reply but a quick backward glance and nod before Draco left the alcove. Breathing a heavy sigh Harry wondered what the hell just happened as he too left the alcove. Luckily there were no students around but Harry could hear them in the distance. With a quick look around he hurried off to Gryffindor tower. He met Ron and Hermione on the steps leading to the tower.

"Hey Harry," Ron said as he saw his friend approaching.

"How was you date?" Hermione asked with a smile on her face.

"Hey, guys and it was fine," he said. Ron and Hermione gave him expectant looks and he sighed realizes they probably wanted to know what happened on the date. They entered the portrait and sat together in a somewhat secluded part of the common room. Once seated Harry recanted the date for his friends down to the kiss. When asked again how it was, was it better than before – _what was with that question today anyway?_ He thought – he gave them the same answer as he had Draco. When their curiosity was satisfied enough Ron ventured a game of Exploding Snap and Harry accepted. Hermione sighed and pulled out a book to read. Things almost seemed normal between the three again.

* * *

Draco stalked to his room after leaving the alcove, bit out the password and threw himself into a chair. That had gone in a spectacularly fucked up way, Draco realized with a grimace. His stupid jealousy just _had_ to rear its ugly head at that moment. He didn't mean to sound so much like a complete prat for once. But seeing Harry looking very nice in what he was wearing and knowing that it was for his date with that stupid Chang bint had just made him want to hex Cho Chang with something very nasty and unpleasant. And then to hear that they had kissed, _twice,_ was just a twisting to the metaphorical knife. 

_Deep breath Draco,_ he thought and did so taking a nice long and deep breath in and exhaling it slowly through his nose. He should have expected something like this, honestly he should have. It was a _date_, and people tend to kiss on dates. It didn't help Draco that he was attracted to Harry. _It was a crush that's all_, Draco reasoned with himself calmly. And crush aside he knew he liked spending time with the black haired boy. They had many things in common and Draco found it easy to talk to Harry and he was sure Harry found the same thing with him. Harry was someone who could understand and Draco was glad for that.

He sighed again and put his head in his hands. He didn't want to think about this anymore, about how he let his jealousy rule him for that brief moment. Deciding dinner wasn't all that appealing he went to his room removing his clothes as he went. Maybe a bit of a lie down was in order.

* * *

AN: I know, I know! This took awhile to put up. If you read The End or the Beginning (TETB) then you know why. If you don't (and you should: Shameless promoting) then I've been having problems with my computer and couldn't actually post. But it's here now. YAY! Anyway for those wondering Harry/Draco will be happening in about three or four chapters. I wanted to build up there friendship first and show some aspects of it before I began on them in a relationship. Once again sorry for the delays readers!

Review Responses:

**HPBeatles, Wykked As Syn, The-Angels-Miracle, Aura**,** draco8448, butterfly-soul and CSIGregSandersFan** : Thanks for the reivews!


	13. A bit of Normalcy and Ravenclaw Seductio

AN: This chapter takes place about two weeks after Harry's and Cho's date, about March 7. Also Cho is Head Girl and therefore has her own room.

* * *

Chapter 13: A bit of Normalcy and Ravenclaw Seduction 

After that Saturday and the date with Cho, the Ravenclaw and Harry hung out as frequently as possible. That Sunday, the day after the date a few of the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had gotten together for a mock Quidditch game. The weeks following the date the two had spent time together snogging and talking and spending time together. Harry found that ironically after all the drama he went through over Cho last year; they had very little in common. Sure they each liked flying, and could talk about classes, Quidditch and other inane subjects but when it came down to it they had hardly anything in common with each other.

He also found that while he liked spending time with Cho, well, kissing Cho is more like it, than things seemed fine. He still wasn't overly enthusiastic about Cho, not like he was in fifth year but chalked it up to his sometimes apathetic attitude toward anything and everything. Draco had told him once that he just lacked emotions sometimes it seemed like Draco himself did. Harry had told the blonde that sometimes it was easier to just not care, to be emotionless. Draco had just shrugged then and remained silent but Harry thought the other boy may have actually agreed with him.

Harry had talked to Draco only a few times and each time Draco seemed to be a bit irritated about something and a lot more closed off than he had been since they became friends and he avoided all talk of Cho. Harry wasn't as stupid and innocent about certain things as many believed him to be and he had a few theories on Draco's behavior. But he had not thought any of them to be the possible reason. Harry found that as long as he didn't bring up Cho when around the blonde than things seemed almost normal. Well as normal as things between them could be anyway.

Things with Ron and Hermione had seemed almost normal again but Harry knew that there was some distance between them as there were just some things the two didn't and possibly wouldn't ever understand. Hermione was happy to see him make such changes this year what with his better grades and his less anti-social behavior than the beginning of the year. Ron was happy to see him acting like he did before Sirius, before the Tri-wizard tournament when he was an almost normal person who didn't seem so cynical and broody. They didn't know it was an act, just something to keep the questions at bay and if they did then they didn't show so. Harry rather thought they didn't know it was an act.

Things in his life seemed to be going somewhat well and that was what made him worry. Maybe it was just the pessimistic part of him but he felt that things were going too well for him like he thought before the Valentine Incident with Voldemort. He felt edgy and paranoid and just wanted the feelings to stop. He thought this thing with Cho would help that, help him stop feeling edgy like this but it didn't. So suspicious and nervous was what Harry was and it really wasn't doing anything for him to be this way. He rather thought he was getting a bit too much like Mad-Eye Moody and that just wasn't sitting well with him. But he tried as best as he could to ignore the feeling. It only worked half the time but it was enough sometimes and that was the best Harry could hope for.

* * *

Draco had been trying his best to not even look at that Chang girl especially when she happened to be with Harry but found himself doing so anyway. He was annoyed with the Ravenclaw and had had the urge many times to hex her something awful. He had found himself glaring at Chang from across the hall at meals, in the corridors if he saw her and just about any other time he saw her. He knew he was being silly about it all, really he was but he couldn't help it. His crush on Harry was making him jealous and irrational. 

But some good did come of it, he found after watching her one day. He noticed that whenever Harry was in proximity or mentioned a strange light came to her eyes. He had seen this happen many times but wasn't sure what it could mean. His Slytherin instincts said that there was something the girl was planning but he wasn't sure about this. She seemed to be innocent and sweet but Draco knew these things were deceptive sometimes. He knew Pansy looked like she couldn't really doing anyone harm but she was very handy with some of her more defensive charms.

He could be wrong but he was almost sure he wasn't. Something about Chang had him suspicious and he didn't think bringing it up to Harry was good idea. If he was wrong he would look utterly stupid and Harry might think he was trying to purposely make trouble. He had worked hard for Harry's friendship and didn't want to lose that. He would watch her and if it looked like he was right in his assessment than he would tell Harry but not until he was completely sure. Jealousy, Draco realized, was sometimes a real annoyance.

* * *

She had waited as patiently as possible for her reward, conducted things as best as she could to make sure her plan worked. And now after almost two weeks of waiting she was sure she could succeed. She was sure that everything was set for her to strike. She was confident of her appearance and knew that with the right amount of seduction she would get her prize. Cho smirked to herself, head down, as she walked to her next class letting the chatter of her friends float around her. She had invited Harry to her room an hour after dinner. He had agreed after very little persuading. _Tonight_, she thought as she walked into the door of her next class. _Tonight all my plans come together._

* * *

Harry was glad it was Friday and the last class of the day and that the class was over. He sighed as he walked out of Transfiguration, Ron and Hermione close behind him. His mind was currently preoccupied with Cho's earlier request of invite to her head girl room after dinner. She had pulled him aside and asked him privately, earlier in the day. He hadn't told Ron or Hermione about the invitation and had decided not to. He wasn't as innocent and naïve as many may think. He knew that there were only so many reason Cho would invite him to her Head Girl room and he was pretty sure he knew why she did. 

"Harry?" he started briefly and turned to look at Hermione who was looking at him questioningly. "You seemed a bit preoccupied, is something wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"No Hermione I just have a lot on my mind that's all," Harry said with a small smile. Hermione had looked at him hard for a moment before nodded slowly.

"If you need to talk, we're here," she said and Ron nodded his head empathetically.

Dinner had passed in the usual manner with consumption of food and idle conversations. Harry had been too focused on Cho and her invitation for the night to engage in too much conversation. When dinner was over he went back to the tower with the other Gryffindors and excused himself to the dorm where he changed clothes into a loose pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt, grabbed his journal and a pen, pulled and spelled his curtains shut and settle back with the leather bound book in his lap.

_**March 7, 1997**_

**_The weirdest thing happened today, okay maybe not weirdest but pretty damn odd all the same. Just before my second to last class Cho asked me to come to her Head Girl room tonight. We've been hanging out a bit the last two weeks and we've kissed a lot too. The fact that she's invited me to her rooms tonight hasn't passed by me. I have an idea of what she wants, seen the looks she throws me sometimes so I'm not stupid. Nor am I innocent or naïve and that I have my two weeks of privacy for. The first week after I broke away from the Dursley's I took the chance to have time to myself. While at a store getting myself new clothes I met a girl who worked there at the store. She helped me out with finding stuff for me. Her name was Andrea Vaughn. She was really nice to me and after helping me just out of nowhere asked if I'd like to come to a party, a rave she had called. Said I looked like I needed a bit of independence and fun. I was hesitant at first but then thoughts of the prophecy and just all the fucked up things going on in my life made me agree. I realized later that agreeing was probably the best thing I could have done. _**

**_She said for me to meet her at the store front later that night and she would take me to the place where the rave was being held. She had even given a suggestion on what I should wear, I was out of my depth and her assistance was much appreciated and welcomed. So I had met her later that night and we had got a ride with a friend of hers named Brent to where the rave would be. When I had stepped into the warehouse I had been surprised. It was nothing like I'd seen before, not even expected. Andrea had told me in the car ride there that I would probably see things I haven't seen before and made sure to imprint into my mind that I was to stick by her for my first rave experience._**

**_The middle of the warehouse which I had guessed was for dancing had many writhing, twisting and grinding bodies together dancing, or what I presumed was dancing. That night I stuck close to Andrea like she said. She taught me to dance the way those people had been dancing, I had drank alcohol and by the end of the night I had danced with many people, girl and guys, even making out with both a few times. I lost myself that night; I was stripped away from a world where I was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. I had been just Harry that night, a regular normal teen who just wanted to get pissed, have fun and leave my worries behind. _**

**_When I woke the next morning I was in an unknown place and had panicked at first until Andrea walked into the room with a cup of coffee and a bottle of Advil. She explained that I had been drunk the previous night and she didn't know where I lived or was staying so she let me crash at her place. Once the Advil started to work and I was feeling not as bad as before she offered me to spend the day with her as she didn't have work and normally sat around because the majority of her friends worked that day. I agreed and after telling her I would come back to her place I had gone back to the Leaky Cauldron for money, a shower and a change of clothes. With that done I had spent the day with Andrea._**

**_That night she invited me to another rave that had been happening in Brighton. I agreed immediately seeking that free feeling again. We went and I lost myself once again in the music and the dancing and the drinking that I did. And snogging and groping random people. I was a totally different person, more adventurous and risky with things that didn't concern my life, well my continual living anyway. It was only my second time there and I'd already done things I hadn't done before or really thought about doing. I'd made out shamelessly with girls and guys, got groped and groped back, it was wonderful and new and something I wanted more of. That night though was memorable in more than just one way._**

**_I had stayed at Andrea's again that night. I wasn't as drunk as the night before but still didn't want to risk heading back to the Leaky Cauldron. Well when we got back to her flat after much time spent at the rave when we had made out a few times we wind up having slightly drunken sex. She hadn't drank that much that night I remember as she told me she had work in the early afternoon the next day and wanted to have as little a hangover as possible. We were both slightly drunk when we tumbled into her flat and somehow into her bed. I remembered the night, the night I had sex for the first time, the night I lost my virginity to a girl I barely knew while slightly drunk. I remembered it enough anyway. _**

**_The next morning she had asked if I regretted it and I told her truthfully after a moments thought that, no, I didn't regret it. And I hadn't. I mean I had that stupid prophecy and really, I could've ended up dying anytime within the next year. I didn't want to die a virgin and sex with a somewhat anonymous person made it all the better. At least than I know it's not because I was the Boy-Who-Lived. We spent a few hours together that day before we separated as she had to go to work. She had asked about me coming by again any time but I had just told her maybe. Told her I went to a boarding school and would be leaving soon. I had also known that the first week I stayed at the Leaky Cauldron I would be by myself but the second week the Weasley's and Hermione would be there and it might be harder to sneak out. We had departed out a good note that day. _**

**_But I had found the chance to sneak out a few more times even when the Weasley's and Hermione were there. It was hard to do it but I found ways of succeeding and getting out. Those two weeks had been the best; the raves, the dancing, the drinking. It had been wonderful until I had to go back to school, go back to being Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. But those two weeks had become my little secret. I had done things in those two weeks that I never thought of doing and actually enjoyed. I had always been around people (i.e. the Dursley's) who thought things like boy's liking other boys and girls liking other girls were wrong and dirty. But those two weeks opened up my eyes to new things. Andrea is bisexual actually. _**

**_As for me, well, I had fun with some other guys at the raves (hand jobs, blow jobs) but never anything more than that. I liked it but I want to keep my Rave Week – as I have fondly dubbed it and my Hogwarts life separate. I was a much different person during those two weeks at those raves and I didn't want to taint it with my life at Hogwarts._**

Harry sighed looking over his words again. It had been a while since he had thought of his summer activities, normally preferring to do so when alone. Glancing at his wrist where his watch lay he cursed softly under his breath. He had little more than five minutes before he was supposed to be going to see Cho. Stuffing his pen into his journal he opened his hangings and looked around. No one was in the dorm as he had thought. He rose quickly and stuffed his journal into his trunk.

He thought quickly about the best way to do this. He really didn't feel like explaining to his friends where he was going. With a firm nod to himself he used his old school bag (the one he stopped using because of Neville's present from Christmas) and stuffed the map into it before pulling his invisibility cloak around him. Cloak hanging half off him he flicked his wand at his bed curtains with a muttered spell. With the curtains securely locked against others he pocketed his wand, covered himself fully with the cloak and left the dorm.

Making his way carefully down the stairs from the dorm he stopped at the bottom and looked around the common room. There were still a good many people in there and he knew getting out without alerting attention was going to be hard. Cautiously making his way to the entrance to the tower he stood by it, barely holding a sigh of frustration in. he stood there for a few moments glancing around the common room trying to think of something when the portrait opened. He moved out the way as Ginny Weasley came through the portrait. Holding back his curiosity for the moment he quickly rushed out the portrait that closed seconds behind his departure. Staring back at the Fat Lady but not really seeing her Harry briefly wondered why Ginny was coming to the tower almost an hour after dinner. Then he brushed it aside deciding that what she did really wasn't his business and began his trek to Ravenclaw territory.

Once far enough away he pulled his bag around to the front and pulled out the map as he tugged his wand from his pocket. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered and waited for the map to finish displaying the school. Once done he began walking again, heading for the Ravenclaw part of the school. Head Boy's and Girl's always had there own rooms not far from that of there common room, outside of the other dorm but still in the vicinity. Harry watched the map as he moved quickly but cautiously to his destination. It wasn't actually curfew quite yet but he really didn't want to be seen. He finally made it to where the Ravenclaw common room was guarded by a portrait. Bypassing that he continued halfway down the corridor where there was another portrait.

He stopped in front of it and sighed looking at the map to make sure no one was near he tapped the map and whispered: "Mischief managed," before closing it up and putting it in his bag. Pulling off the cloak he stuffed it into the bag also threw it back over his shoulder again. Staring at the portrait of a sleeping man he furrowed his brow lightly.

"Uh, excuse me," he said to the portrait that snorted noisily before opening his eye to peer at him sleepily.

"Wha' ya' wan'?" came the slurred response.

"Waterfall," Harry said, giving the password Cho had given him earlier and the man in the portrait grunted before swinging open to admit him. With a slight bit of hesitation he stepped through the portrait wondering why he felt a tendril of apprehension curling in his stomach. Cho was sitting on small couch in front of the fire in the common room. Glancing around briefly he noticed a door to the right of the room and one to the left which he guessed led to the bedroom and the bathroom.

Turning his attention back to Cho he noticed that she had changed from her school uniform into a pair of black pants and a blue t-shirt. She smiled at him as she saw him enter. "Come on in Harry and sit," she said pointing to the other end of the couch she occupied. Harry nodded with a small smile and sat on the other end of the couch dropping his bag by the side.

"I didn't go back to the common room after dinner so that's why I still have my bag if you're wondering," he said glancing at her briefly.

"Its fine," Cho replied easily. Silence hung in the air after that. Harry looked around the room, at the fire, at anything but Cho for the moment. Finally running out of things to look at though, he looked at the witch who occupied the other half of the couch he sat on.

"Um, you look nice Cho," he said casually with only a slight wavering to his voice. That tendril of apprehension wriggled unpleasantly in his gut for a moment and he wasn't sure if it was because he was a bit nervous or something else altogether.

"Thank you Harry," Cho said sweetly with a beautiful, beaming smile. "So…how were the rest of you classes?"

"Good, okay I guess. I got a bunch of work to do over the weekend that Herm –" he stopped before he fully said it remembering last years in a flash of memory and the Ravenclaw's reaction to Hermione. "Ron tends to leave everything to the last minute to do and asks for my help sometimes." He finished lamely completely changing what he was going to say. 'That Hermione will bug Ron and me about it until she's satisfied'. This was true even though he had taken to not procrastinating any more and actually putting real thought and effort to school.

The smile that was on Cho's face tightened a bit around the corners of her full lips at the almost said name but she still answered calmly. "Well you have two days over the weekend to do it, I'm sure you and Ron can get it done by then."

"Yeah I guess," he said lamely. The room descended into silence once more and Harry stared into the fireplace not knowing what else to really do. What if Cho asked him hear to talk and he made a move on her? He would look completely stupid for thinking she wanted do to something more than talking. _Bring on the anonymous person at a club or rave and I'm perfectly fine but bring on someone who knows I'm the Boy-Who-Lived and I freeze up like a bloody idiot_, Harry thought barely holding himself from snorting scornfully.

With Andrea and any of the people at those raves he had the advantage of them not knowing him as more than Harry, another teenager looking for a bit of fun. But here in the Wizarding World he was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived and that was his disadvantage. People most likely would not want him for him but for the hero, the idol, the icon. If Cho Chang wanted something to do with him after that first big disaster it was mostly because she wanted a piece of the hero and not just Harry the teenager. He had come to expect this, knowing that people would want him for the icon and not the person. He had come to almost accept that fact really. It still didn't mean he liked it though.

Cho looked at the raven haired boy with pursed lips as she thought about how to get what she wanted. With a small smile playing around her lips she stood from her end of the couch and stood in front of Harry blocking his view of from the fire. When she had his eyes on her she smiled seductively, put a hand on his shoulder to push him back so he was sitting upright and then straddled his lap slowly. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pressed her lips to his moving them slowly against his.

Harry hesitated a moment wondering why he felt that tendril of apprehension wriggling more violently in his gut. Deciding to ignore it he began kissing the girl in his lap back wrapping his arms around her slim waist. At first there was just a slow soft play of lips on lips and then Cho darted her tongue out flicking lightly, teasingly at his bottom lip. Parting his lips his tongue met hers, velvet wetness sliding against velvet wetness as they're tongues caressed each others. Cho's hands made their way to Harry's black hair, tangling in the silky, unruly locks. She moaned in the back of her throat as he nibbled gently on her bottom lip before trailing light kisses across her jaw. Cho moaned lightly, tilting her head back to give the Gryffindor better access. As he continued to her ear and nibbled gently on the lobe she began to rock lightly back and forth in his lap.

Harry traced the path from her ear back to her mouth catching her swollen lips in another kiss as his right hand went to her silky hair tangling in the strands and his left smoothed a trail down her back to cup one round arse cheek. He pulled her closer as he kissed her.

Cho pulled back untangling her arms from Harry's neck and tugged the t-shirt she was wearing up over his head exposing the blue lacy bra she wore underneath. She flung the shirt to the floor quickly and smiled enticingly at the black haired boy. Harry gazed appreciatively at her ample chest that was almost eye level. She winked at him as she stood from her straddling position and began to remove her pants, bending at the waist and sliding the black cotton material down her legs seductively. Underneath that she was wearing a blue thong and as she stepped out of the pants and tossed them to the side she ran her hands from her thighs upward, over a taut and flat stomach, up over round and perky blue lace encased breast and smirked.

"Like what you see?" she purred as she teased her body with feather light touches. Harry nodded a bit dazedly and stood up walking up to Cho. He snaked an arm about her waist and used his free hand to knead her left breast rubbing his thumb over her nipple that was slightly visible through the thin see through material. It began to harden under his ministrations and Cho mewled softly.

"How about you point me to your bedroom and we continue this there?" Harry asked voice husky as he dipped his head and sucked lightly at her neck. Who was he to pass up an opportunity for sex gifted so freely? It may be because he was really the Boy-Who-Lived but he was all a teenager. A teenager who was no longer a virgin and knew what sex was like. Besides, his right hand could use a break.

"D-door on the left," she rasped out then moaned as her neck was sucked and licked and bit. Nodding Harry maneuvered them to head to the door on the left firmly ignoring the icy grip of uneasiness that was grasping at him, tugging at his insides and demanding to be acknowledged. As he stumbled through the open door he thought: _what could possibly go wrong from this?_

Too bad those careless thoughts were going to be proved wrong. And oh, how wrong they were.

* * *

**Review Responses**: 

ruby-sama, Wykked As Syn, Catylina(anon.), firestarter99, butterfly-soul and Blaze Freyidi: Thank you all for your very kind and encouraging reviews.

The-Angels-Miracle: Next chapter you find out exactly what Chang is up to. And I agree with you; Draco I like much more than Chang but I needed someone to be a bit of a bad person and Chang won because I just dont like her.

Question for all those out there...The six book is coming out in 3 days times, which many of us HP fans are looking forward too. I have a bit left until this story is done and then a sequel that goes through the summer and their seventh year. I really want to finish this story but if its not going to be read because of clashes with the six book let me know! Chapter 14 is being worked on now and should be out in a week which is after the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Leave me your opinions in your reviews.  



	14. Unease, FreeFlying and Shocking a Snake

Sorry for the late update but I've been working on getting more chapters typed up and working on a few other fics also. But here is chapter 14. Also this story will be considered AU with the release of HBP. I haven't read it yet but have seen spoilers from others on it. So saying that, this story I think will be considered AU, at least mostly. I might include some stuff from book six, not sure yet. This will be post-OotP and pre-HBP. And now on to the story!

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Chapter 14: Unease, Free-Flying and Shocking a Snake

He awoke slowly not fully comprehending his surroundings as of yet. His sluggish mind slowly took stock of things as he rose higher into wakefulness. He was sprawled on his back one arm above his head and the other being pinned down by something. As he became more aware of his surroundings he realized the weight on his arm was also pressed up against his side and that the weight was warm. Opening his eyes slowly he looked down and took in the sight of black hair. So it was another person. Tilting the head back a bit he caught sight of the face and then it all came back to him.

Cho's invitation yesterday, showing up at her room and then, Harry sighed lightly and closed his eyes again, a round or two of shagging with the Ravenclaw. It had been good, a nice change from all the wanking he'd been doing but finally having Cho Chang in any capacity just didn't give him anything but the feeling of being sexually satisfied as a round of good sex. Cho was a beautiful girl really and he could appreciate her and her body which was slim and curvy but he just didn't feel any of his old crush for her.

Opening his eyes again he looked at his arms and relief washed through him. The glamour charm was still in place. It sometimes had an annoying habit of wearing off in his sleep. It hadn't in awhile really, but he wanted to be sure. Shifting slightly the arm across his chest tightened a bit as Cho mumbled something unintelligible before black lashes fluttered softly open and to reveal sleepy dark blue eyes. She smiled at Harry lazily as she looked at him a satisfied glint in her eyes. Harry ignored the glint having accepted the fact in measures that as the Boy-Who-Lived people would always want him the icon and not him the person.

"Hey," he said softly voice soft and husky from sleep. He smiled slightly at her.

"Hi," she said back looking to him before glancing around the room. "What time is it?"

Moving his arm from above his head he looked at his watch. "It's 5:47 I should probably get going," Harry said glancing back at Cho.

"Yeah since technically your not suppose to be in here," Cho nodded still looking a bit sleepy. Harry got up from the bed he was in disentangling himself from the sheets and Cho sparing little thought at being nude. He had had sex with the girl and really it was hard to feel shy and embarrassed when he was apathetic almost half the time and didn't care about a lot of things. He grabbed up his clothes and began putting them on as Cho lay lazily on the bed and watched unashamedly. When he was fully clothed, wand in pocket he turned to look at Cho having had his back to her the whole time while dressing.

"Guess I'm going to get going," Harry said not knowing what else to say to someone he'd just had sex with. With Andrea it had been easy he had been clumsy and shy at first making a lame comment of "That was nice" that she had said was adorable but he didn't think Cho would appreciate a "That was nice" from him.

"Yeah, okay," Cho said with a nod. Harry nodded back and left the room missing the gleam that came to Cho's eyes. Gathering his things from the common room he pulled his invisibility cloak from the bag and made his way from the Head Girl's room invisible to all.

Back in her room Cho waited until she heard the closing of the portrait before standing from the bed, sheet falling from her body. With no care for her nude state she strode lazily over to the desk that was in her room and sat immediately in the seat there and began pulling parchment, quill and ink towards her. With a wicked smile on her face she dipped the quill into the ink, set the quill to the parchment and began to write.

_Dear Carmen Farraday,_

_I write this letter in regards with which I think will interest you and those at Witch Weekly…._

Cho chuckled as she went about writing her letter that wicked gleam never quite leaving her eyes.

* * *

Harry made it back to the tower quickly before making it up to his dorm room. His roommates were still asleep which was expected really and welcomed. He wasn't up to answering questions that he didn't want to answer. Taking out his wand and spelling the curtains so he could open them he tossed his bag lightly on the trunk in front of his bed and his shoes also. Chewing on his bottom lip lightly he debated with himself before grabbing his journal and pen and hopping on to the bed closing the curtains around it. Sitting on the bed he sighed as he opened his journal and put pen to paper.

_**March 5, 1997**_

**_I should feel happy, you know? I just had sex last night after not having sex for months – though wanking has been a constant fixture. I should feel relaxed and stuff but I don't. I feel a little relaxed but nothing after the times I shagged Andrea. I have this apprehensive feeling in my stomach again like something bad is going to happen. This isn't how I expected things to turn out. Why do I feel like something really horrible is about to happen? I'm a magnet for trouble and danger, I think. Maybe that apprehensive feeling is a signal that I should be prepared for something bad to happen. _**

**_I mean right before I got that Howler and that bloody heart – which I still have nightmares about, thank you ever so much – I had that same apprehensive feeling as before and looked what happened that day! I guess I should be alert for anything to happen the next few days. Maybe I should talk to Draco?_**

Stopping he looked at what he wrote closely and sighed. Maybe he'd developed some weird radar that told him when bad things were about to happen to him? It certainly seemed like it. Closing the leather bound journal with the pen in it he put it to the side and leant against the pillow on his bed. Leaning his head back he looked up at the ceiling of his canopy and shut his eyes. He didn't even realize he had gone to sleep until he was awoken by the voice of his friend, Ron Weasley.

"Harry you awake yet mate?"

Yawning Harry winced at the stiffness of his back as he stretched his arms above his head. He'd not only slept in his clothes but also slept leaning against the pillows. Sighing he pushed his journal under his pillow and opened the curtain. "Yeah Ron, I'm awake," he mumbled as he got out of bed. He rubbed his eyes briefly and grimaced realizing he had slept with his contacts in and hadn't taken them out since last night. Rummaging through his nightstand he pulled out the case to clean his contacts and set about doing so.

"Harry, why are you still wearing your clothes from yesterday?" The voice belonged to Neville Longbottom and if Harry could see and was facing the other boy he would have seen Neville giving him an odd look.

"I fell asleep in my clothes last night," Harry said as he went about putting his contacts back in. He blinked a few times once they were in before looking at his dorm mates. They were both almost finished dressing. "I'm going to get a shower," Harry said as he began to collect his things for his shower.

"You want me and Mione to wait up for you?" Ron asked as he pulled his shirt on over his head.

"No you guys go ahead to breakfast I'll be down once I'm done," Harry said with a small smile to his redheaded friend. Ron nodded with a smile as he went about putting his trainers on. Harry left to take his shower after that. Noticing no one else in the room he gathered that Seamus and Dean probably went down to breakfast already. Standing under the spray of warm water one hand palm flat on the tiled wall, he tilted his face into the stream of water. He sighed as the water flowed over his upturned face and sluiced down his body, wondering if the water could possibly wash away his troubles as well as it does his tense muscles.

Running a hand through his sopping wet hair he sighed again and began to wash himself thoroughly. When he was done he walked back into his dorm. It was a Saturday and since he didn't have to wear a uniform he pulled on the first thing that touched his hand. A black t-shirt with the phrase: You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP in white block letters, baggy blue jeans and his combat boots. Not bothering with his hair he put his eyebrow piercing in and left the dorm and made his way toward the Great Hall. As he reached the large open oak doors he paused to take a deep breath before strolling casually into the hall, ignoring all the eyes that occasionally fell on him and sat at the Gryffindor table next to Neville and across from Ron and Hermione.

"Good morning Harry, how're you?" Hermione asked as he began fixing his plate.

"Morning Mione and I'm doing fine, just a bit tired." Harry said before stuffing some a fork-full of egg into his mouth.

"Did you not sleep well last night?" Hermione asked a furrow in her brow as her eyes lit with concern.

"I fell asleep in my clothes from earlier and my back was stiff and cramped this morning so it was an uncomfortable sleep that's all," Harry said giving the girl a small smile of reassurance.

"Harry, do you want to go for a fly after breakfast?" Ron asked breaking from inhaling his food. He looked to Harry questioningly. It wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend so they would be in the castle today.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling at his redheaded friend. "Sure Ron why not, we haven't been out flying together in awhile." Harry said nodding his head.

"Ron! Harry! What about your homework? You should be spending this day getting it done," Hermione said looking at the two boys disapprovingly.

"Its only Saturday Mione we have all weekend," Ron said in a whiny voice.

"Besides Mione," Harry said looking at his female friend. "I only have my transfiguration and herbology homework to do which I can do tomorrow." Harry ignored Ron's gaping mouth as he looked at Hermione. "So Ron," Harry said before Hermione could get back into her little spiel. "Ready to go flying?"

"Yeah Harry lets get our brooms," Ron said enthusiastically stuffing one last forkful of food into his mouth before rising from his seat. Harry rose also along with Hermione and Neville who were joining them on the pitch if not flying. They made they're way back to the tower where Ron and Harry retrieved they're brooms before all four made they're way out to the pitch. While Hermione and Neville sat in the stands, Hermione reading a book and working on her homework as was Neville, Ron and Harry spent the next few hours flying around the pitch. Harry had performed a few dangerous stunts that had Hermione yelling at him when she pulled away from her book long enough.

Harry felt free as he flew through the sky on his Firebolt. He felt the unease he had felt that morning trickle away and a sense of calm overcoming him. His mind cleared from its troubled state and he felt at peace. It was something he needed and he was glad he had decided to join Ron for a nice fly around the pitch. Other students were out flying also as the weather wasn't too cold nor was it warm. It was a nice March day for Scotland and people were taking advantage of it.

Sighing he flew through a gold goal post and immediately cut sharply upwards flying vertical. Squinting against the harsh touch of the wind he flew up higher and higher, the cries and shouts fading as he got further away until he made an upside down backwards roll and began spiraling back down toward the earth. A smirk crossed his face as he spiraled down towards the ground the pitch getting closer and closer. Blocking out everything else he concentrated on what he was doing. Roughly five feet from the ground he pulled up sharply, coming horizontal to the ground and began skimming the light scattering of grass.

Pulling up into the sky once more he smiled as he heard Hermione's frantic streaking at his behavior. Stopping his broom from moving he clutched the handle tightly took a deep breath and then moved his legs so he was crouching on the broom handle on the balls of his feet. Sucking in another deep breath realizing he may just be slightly round the bend he began to stand up on the broom as he let go of the handle with his hand. Blocking out everything else once again he carefully found his balance on the broom left foot in front of the right. He wasn't looking down, no, that might be a bad thing at the moment. Spreading his arms wide he wobbled briefly, panicking slightly as he thought he might fall before he steadied himself. He was standing up on his broom in a position reminiscent of his first year when he had caught the snitch.

Carefully he pressed his left foot down onto the handle slightly with a little more pressure tipping the broom at a small angle and pushing his Firebolt forward. At first he was gliding slowly, so slowly it was like he was hardly moving at all. Soon he picked up speed a bit and was floating a little faster through the air. Trying to keep his balance was a little hard at first and he almost fell off but he soon got himself steady and was floating around the pitch, standing on his broom at a moderate pace. Closing his eyes briefly a bright smile spread across his face, genuine and uninhibited in its beauty. He hadn't smiled like that in awhile.

Keeping his broom horizontal he descended downwards until he was mere feet from the ground. Looking down he realized he was about two or three feet from the ground, closed his eyes and jumped off the broom landing with a graceful 'thud' onto the hard earth on his feet. And then he heard the clapping. Eyes shooting open again he saw all those who had been on or by the pitch standing near the edge of it clapping with awed and shocked looks on their faces. Harry grimaced slightly at the looks and sighed. _Should have remembered that would happen,_ Harry thought sourly. Looking through the crowd of students he saw a flash of silver blonde hair and looked sharply in that direction. Draco was standing in the back with Blaise Zabini if Harry wasn't mistaken and Crabbe and Goyle and glaring at Harry. To anyone else who didn't know the blonde they would have thought he was glaring out of anger but Harry knew that he was most likely sulking. Draco was quite envious when it came to his natural skill on a broom as Harry had come to find out though he had been quick to reassure the blonde that he was just as skilled as he, Harry, was.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Came the furious shout from Hermione Granger. Harry winced at the ensuing lecture. He looked up and saw her stalking forward with a mix of relief, anger and disapproving on her face. An odd mix really but Harry didn't think about that as she came forward. "What were you thinking! Pulling such dangerous stunts, you could have hurt yourself or worse!" She was now standing in front of him shaking a finger at him like she was scolding a disobedient child.

Repressing the sudden flare of irritation he clamped down on his control and ground out calmly: "Hermione you know that Quidditch and flying are both dangerous and just because I like to pull outrageous stunts doesn't mean anything. Besides I'm fine, not injured at all." He gave her a small strained smile.

"He's right Mione, he's fine no harm done," Ron said coming up beside them. Turning to Harry his eyes brightened. "That was bloody brilliant though Harry!" he exclaimed. Hermione scowled at the two before she sighed at the smile Harry gave Ron. She couldn't stay too mad at her black haired friend when he smiled like that. Those smiles were far and in between lately; those bright, heart-melting smiles that he didn't give nearly as often anymore.

Others came over after that to comment on Harry's little stunt, inquiring as to how he did it and whatnot. When he finally slipped away from the crowd he glanced around for sight of that silver blonde hair. He remembered he had wanted to talk to the Slytherin and now he looked around the pitch for sight of him.

"Come on Harry lets head to lunch," Ron was saying and tugging Harry's sleeve lightly to urge him forward. Harry stumbled a bit before walking with Ron, Hermione and Neville. He kept glancing around for Draco very keen to talk with the blonde. Sighing he looked to the ground as he walked. He had to find a way to talk to Draco; he really needed the Slytherins advice at the moment or at least for him to confirm his suspicions.

Eyes on the ground he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and therefore didn't see the thing he collided with. From the yelp and grunt he heard it was obviously a person that he walked into. From his sprawled position on top of the other person he looked down and saw the very person he had been thinking about. Draco looked briefly shocked, a light pink flush coming to his pale cheeks before covering it up and throwing Harry an annoyed look.

"I need to talk to you. Meet you later after dinner, your room." Harry whispered quickly before scrambling off the blonde.

"Watch where you're going Potter you blind arsehole!" Draco sneered effectively, jerking his head once in a show of acknowledgement to Harry.

"People walk here Malfoy you shouldn't be standing around like you own the bloody path," Harry snapped glaring at the blonde for good measure.

"Yeah Malfoy it's not Harry's fault you're a prat whose stuck too far up his own arse!" Ron said also glaring at the blonde.

"No one was talking to you Weasel," Draco spat at Ron lips curled in a sneer. He looked back at Harry and glared harder and abruptly turned on his foot, stalking away, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle behind him.

"Who does that bloody git think he is? He was the one standing there in the way of where people walk," Ron complained as the four Gryffindors began walking again.

"Ron you have to admit though that he's been less of a prat then usual this year. I mean he hardly ever insults us and never starts fights," Hermione said looking after the blonde's retreating back curiously.

"She's right Ron," Harry said making his voice sound thoughtful as he kept walking. He had spent as little time as possible thinking of his friends reactions to his friendship with the blonde Slytherin.

'They're right Ron, I mean he hasn't even bothered _me_ this year and that's something," Neville pointed out.

"He's still a right slimy prat," Ron grumbled looking from Hermione to Harry to Neville with wide eyes. "You can't seriously be…what are you guys saying?"

"Just that he doesn't pick on me as much if ever anymore this year." Neville said hastily throwing the redhead a quick look.

"I'm just saying he's not being as much of a nuisance as before," Hermione said calmly looking at her boyfriend and shrugging. "Maybe he's matured or something, Granted he is still annoying when he wants to be."

"But he's leaving us alone basically right? So what's the fuss about," Harry asked, desperately wanting to get off this subject. _He_ knew that Draco wasn't as horrible, really, as they had all thought and didn't want to say something to make the others suspicious.

"Right, as long as the nasty little ferret leaves us alone we shouldn't worry about him," Ron said with a smile as they walked into the Great Hall for lunch. Harry bit back a sigh as the conversation ended. He really didn't want to see their reactions when they found out he was friends with Draco. Sighing he decided to push those thoughts out of his head. He had other things to worry about and couldn't wait to see the blonde later. He felt a brief twinge of guilt for wanting to talk to Draco and not his friends about his problems but pushed it aside. He didn't think they would understand anyway.

* * *

Later that night after dinner was over Harry had made his way back to the tower and gathered his invisibility cloak and the Map, made his excuses of needing to be alone for a bit and left the tower again. Now safely nestled under the cloak, map in hand, he was making his way to Draco's rooms. He passed few people on his way towards the blonde's rooms and when he finally stood in front of the portrait to the room he knocked quickly on the frame of the picture disturbing the dragon in the frame. The dragon looked up curiously but not seeing anyone put its head back down closing its eyes. He quickly deactivated the map and stuffed it in his back pocket. The portrait opened and Draco looked out a look of confusion on his face at the sight of no one there. Harry pulled off his cloak and looked to Draco who inhaled sharply at the sudden appearance. Harry smirked before brushing past him and making his way inside. Draco closed the door before turning to look at Harry with wide eyes.

Looking mildly amused at the blonde's reactions Harry smiled at the blonde, holding up the material in his hands. "Invisibility cloak got it Christmas of first year. It was my fathers," Harry answered as Draco came over to touch the cloak reverently.

"Wicked," Draco breathed running his hand over the material. "Even Lucius doesn't have one, or at least not one he's told me about." Draco said not even noticing he said 'Lucius' instead of 'Father' before looking at Harry and narrowing his eyes. "That was you in third year then. I had been wondering how you did that." Draco said smirking at him.

"Now you know," Harry said shortly as the other boy sat down across from him in his usual chair as Harry sprawled himself out on the couch. "I needed to talk to you."

"As I remember after you fell on top of me," Draco drawled raising an eyebrow at the black haired boy.

"That was an accident," Harry said slightly defensively. "Anyway what I needed to talk to you about. I – er – shagged Cho last night see and this morning and through most of the day I've had this uneasy feeling, especially if I look at her. I'm not sure but I think I'm really missing something here and I've possibly set myself up for something bad," Harry said without taking a breath. He looked to Draco who was looking at him blankly.

"You shagged Chang last night?" Draco asked and his face looked quite unreadable and his voice was almost indifferent.

"Er, yeah, see she invited me to her room early in the day and I basically knew what she would most likely want to do. But I had this uneasy feeling before I went into her room, which had nothing to with having sex with her, really, considering I had had sex this summer but then I had the feeling this morning also after leaving her room. It's been there all day really," he was rambling and he knew it and when he finally looked up to Draco he looked the blonde in the eye; emerald locking with silvery grey. "What do think?"

Draco looked at Harry nothing showing on his face but he felt extremely jealous and upset at the thought of Harry and Chang having sex. Of Chang putting her filthy hands on Harry at all made him want to either throw up or curse Chang something nasty. The latter being the more preferred choice in his mind. But should he really tell Harry what he thought? What if his friend got upset at him? Steeling himself he decided that Harry had asked what he thought and no matter the outcome he was going to tell the black haired boy what he thought.

"Well," he said at last looking at Harry thoughtfully, masking his caution that he felt. "I think – this is only a suspicion, now – that Chang might not be all sweet in her attentions to you. I believe she's got some ulterior motive and if like you said, you slept with her last night and she hasn't bragged about it yet I think she might be planning something a bit bigger. But its only suspicion," Draco said being honest while still being cautious. He knew all of Harry's control sometimes slipped if he was extremely angry or emotional in anyway.

Harry was silent for a moment before nodding his head slowly and licking his lips, not noticing Draco's eyes following the movement. Looking back to the blonde he sighed. "I thought something was off but I…" he trailed off and gestured with his hands lightly shaking his head. "I thought it was just the hype of getting a piece of the "Boy-Who-Lived" and all that." He said making air quotes on his title. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?" he asked looking at Draco with a raised eyebrow.

Draco sighed and bit his lip trying to think about what to say so as not to come off sounding like a sentimental twat. Looking anywhere but at Harry he sighed again. "I didn't know if you would believe me and figured why risk it," Draco said with a careless shrug trying to brush it off. Harry looked at him oddly before a look of understanding crossed his face.

"You were worried about upsetting me," there was a hint of surprise in his tone as he spoke like he couldn't quite believe it himself.

"Of course not!" Draco snapped, looking Harry as close in the eyes as he could.

"Yes you were," Harry said smiling at the blonde's discomfort. "Admit it Malfoy you were worried about my reaction!"

Draco glared at him head on lips curled in a sneer. "No I wasn't," he snarled.

"Yes you were!"

"I wasn't!"

"You were!"

"I w – oh for Merlin's sake," Draco spat throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I was alright, are you happy?" he snapped.

"Yes I am," Harry said smiling as Draco glared harder at him. "I'm glad to know that our friendship means something to you also." Draco looked momentarily startled at this statement and was speechless for a moment just staring at Harry who continued to smile that sweet little smile at him. "But back to the subject at hand," Harry said turning serious again. "I should have listened to my bloody instincts when they started flaring up."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked finally snapping out of his daze. Harry explained how he got the same feeling before stepping into the Great Hall on the first of February when Voldemort sent him that human heart. Draco had quirked an eyebrow as this and looked as Harry oddly.

"These wouldn't happen to be the same instincts that tell you to break school rules and whatnot are they?" the blonde asked with a smirk on his face.

"Prat," Harry grumbled glaring half-heartedly at the blonde nuisance across from him. But there was a smile peeking through his scowl so Draco knew he wasn't serious this time. "Anyway, I should be looking out for anything to happen over the next few days' right?" Harry asked looking at the blonde.

"Yes," Draco said nodding his head. "I think if she's up to something that it will most likely happen in the next few days. I'm a Slytherin though and can tell a scheme when someone's got one."

Harry nodded as he checked his watch and stood up from the couch grabbing his invisibility cloak. "I thought she might be up to something also. I guess great minds think alike," Harry said walking towards the door.

"What do you mean by that?" Draco asked as Harry swung the cloak around himself, all except his head disappearing.

Smirking at his blonde friend wickedly Harry said: "The Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, you know," he said matter-of-factly. "Great minds think alike Malfoy." And with that Harry pulled the cloak over his head, opened the door and walked out closing the portrait behind him leaving a stunned Draco Malfoy standing there looking at where he had stood in speechless shock.

_Harry Potter,_ Draco thought shaking his head when he finally snapped out of it. _You never cease to amaze me!_

_

* * *

_**Review Responses:**

DeAtHsTeNsHi: Your a new reviewer of mine. Glad you like the story so far. As for Cho...Well you get a hint of what she's going to do. I dont really like her so she was my scapegoat

Wykked As Syn: Thanks for the review.

Chelsie (anonymous): Thanks for the review. When I got it in my email I was like...Well there ya go, better keep writing.

Touya4me: I'm a recovered cutter which I've mentioned before, so the self-harm parts are from experience. Glad you enjoy my story so far.

Blaze Freyidi: Yes the six book was a bit shocking. I never expected Dumbledore to be the one to die and for Snape to be the cause. That was just mind blowing! Thanks for the review.

Poison Remedy-Sinful Angel: I'm with you! I cant stand Cho but I needed a scapegoat.. That was Cho's purpose.

Saylie Rain (anonymous): Thanks for the review. I like harry like that too or at least not as innocent and virginal as many make him.

intricate simplicity: Thanks for the review! I will definitely keep writing since I've gotten such positive responses so far.

serenia-sd: Thanks for the review. There wull be a lot more Harry/Draco interaction in the next few chapters and we also will start to see a bit of Harry/Draco romance beginning.

Isidoria, butterfly-soul, Vampire-child-of-the-light, Tari Faelivrin: Thank you all for your reviews!


	15. Public Viewing, Humiliation and Hiding a

AN1: Okay, I would like to let you all know that some of the days will be changed in the story. Nothing big just refer to this site for the dates I'm using for the story: If anyone wants the site let me know by either email or review! 

**Dec. 23** – which is a Monday according to the 1996 UK calendar – is the day students leave for Christmas. **Jan. 5, 1997** – a Sunday, the students return – and **Jan. 6** is the day classes resume. **Jan. 17** – a Friday, is the Slytherin/Ravenclaw match. **Feb. 1** – Saturday, is the day Harry receives that bloody heart from Voldemort. **Feb. 10** – Monday, is the day the announcement for the dance is made. The dance is on **Feb. 14** – Friday. **Feb. 17** – Monday, is the day Cho asks out Harry. **Feb. 22** is the day of their date, which is a Saturday. **Mar. 7** – a Friday, is the day Harry and Cho shag and **Mar. 9** – is Sunday, the day the article comes out in _Witch Weekly_.

AN2: This chapter has masturbation in it and if that offends anyone you might want to skip over it. Since I don't know if will take this down for that scene you can all catch it on the sites listed on my profile. The usernames are listed as well. Also this story will be considered AU with the release of HBP. I haven't read it yet but have seen spoilers from others on it. So saying that, this story I think will be considered AU, at least mostly. I might include some stuff from book six, not sure yet. This will be post-OotP and pre-HBP. And now on to the story!

* * *

Chapter 15: Public Viewing, Humiliation and Hiding and a Concerned Blonde 

Leaving the tower that morning with his friends and heading to the Great Hall Harry was filled with an unease that rivaled yesterdays. His stomach was clenching in an incomprehensible apprehension worst than the first of February. Licking his lips, mask firmly in place he walked into the Great Hall for breakfast and sat down at his spot at the Gryffindor table. The feeling in his stomach was taking away any appetite he had but he put some on his plate anyway and ate it just the same not wanting to draw suspicion. He didn't even taste the food as he chewed it and swallowed. One hand covering half his face he mechanically ate the food, tense and alert for something to happen. He engaged in conversation with his friends in an automatic mode. Glancing up he looked at the Slytherin table which he had unconsciously sat to face and scanned the table casually for that familiar and unique blonde hair. Seeing it he quirked an eyebrow when he caught Draco's eyes before turning back to his plate.

The flutter of wings alerted him to the arrival of the morning mail and his unease and apprehension went into a full blown attack on his stomach. Eyes fixed on the birds flying into the Hall he absently pushed his plate away as panic began to rise up in him. Surely, Cho wouldn't have done anything to publicly humiliate him? As owls started dropping the mail to they're recipients Harry's panic upped a notch. Swallowing around the lump in his throat that seemed to have taken permanent residence there he calmly as possible brought his orange juice up to his lips to drink. When he heard the gasps and the exclamations he closed his eyes having a feeling that whatever it was about it had something to do with him.

"Oh my," Hermione whispered across from him, her voice sounding shocked. "Harry…" she trailed off and Harry looked up into her wide brown eyes. She looked back down at what was in her hands before turning it to him. Harry gaped at the front page before clamping his jaw tightly shut, face going red from embarrassment and anger.

** Witch Weekly Exclusive: Harry Potter 'The Boy-Who-Lived'**

** And what all you single ladies want to know**

** From the personal experience of **

** Cho Chang!**

Harry looked up feeling completely mortified as he heard the whispered conversations about the article.

"_Merlin, it even has pictures of him shirtless..."_

"_Completely naked too…though his bits were blurred out..."_

"_Oh look! It even has a description of his..."_

Harry reddened further if possible and bit his lip as the people started staring, leering at him. Turning around he looked to the Ravenclaw table, more importantly Cho and saw her talking and giggling with a bunch of other girls. When the girl next to her tapped her shoulder and pointed in his direction Cho looked up and gave him a deceptively sweet smile, eyes glinting smugly. She even had the nerve to blow him a kiss! Face flushed with anger and embarrassment but trying and halfway succeeding in looking impassive, knowing he had many eyes on him, he stood and as calmly as possible strode from the Great Hall running once he was out of sight of the entrance.

He ran all the way to the tower, choked out the password and ran inside up to his dorm. He couldn't deal with this, not today, not any day really, but he couldn't deal with the stares and questions right now. Grabbing his backpack that was stuffed with some of his things, he grabbed the Marauders Map and he threw on the invisibility cloak, spelled the curtain to be inaccessible to those outside of it to give him time to get where he wanted and left the dorm. He didn't want to deal with anything or anyone right now, not even Ron and Hermione. Getting to the portrait he moved out of the way just in time as it burst open and the two people he was just thinking about came rushing in. as they rushed past his invisible form he slipped out the closing portrait. Pulling in a deep breath he collected himself a bit and walked away from Gryffindor tower. He had one place in mind to go and knew that no one would find him there. His secret rooms; Salazar Slytherin's rooms.

* * *

Draco couldn't believe it even seeing it and almost predicting it he still couldn't believe it! Cho had told all she knew about that encounter with Harry the other night, right down to the size and description of his…well. Draco was a bit flustered as he read Pansy's copy of Witch Weekly and made a decision to steal one from a younger year. He forced himself to smirk at the plight of Harry Potter when someone commented on Potter being taken down a peg. Looking up he caught sight of the black haired boy leaving the Hall and bit his lip. He wanted to go after him because, yes, he _was _concerned. There was no dismissing that fact. But he held himself in check from years of Malfoy training under his bastard of a father. He joined in on the taunting and jeering of his housemates feeling like a prat for laughing and saying some of the things he said. 

Standing up he walked towards a younger year and snatched a copy of the magazine from her hands with a snarled, "Give me that!" firmly ignoring her glare and sulky expression. With a smirk at his housemates who stood to follow him he turned and stalked from the Great Hall with a small swagger to his hips. He didn't think Harry would be showing his face for awhile considering how red it had been. And if he knew Harry, which he thought he did pretty well by now, than the Golden Boy who wasn't so golden, Draco knew would be hiding out somewhere no one would or could find. With a sigh he headed to the common room as he knew it would be expected of him to make comments about the article with his housemates but once that was done he was going to his room, intent to peruse the article in the magazine privately.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall couldn't believe her eyes. In all her years as a teacher she had never seen what she was now reading. Having demanded a copy from a student of her house she had leaned over to Albus and shared the article with the old Headmaster. She'd known Harry Potter to get himself into many a mess before but this was the icing on the cake! Looking to Albus she saw that even he looked surprised by this turn of events. Looking across the Great Hall the old witch saw that a slow building of chaos was starting. Girls were running from table to table chatting and giggling with other girls, the whispering was getting louder; from the sound like the buzz of a hundred bees too a low key roar, the volume was getting louder. 

Minerva looked to the Ravenclaw table and pinpointed Cho Chang out immediately. She was swamped by girls and some guys who all seemed to be gushing over her and gesturing to the magazines they held. Looking closely she looked at Cho's face thinking the girl must be as mortified as her student, who she had seen leaving the law. What she saw though made her lips thin into a line as she pursed them and caused her eyebrow to scrunch together. The 7th Ravenclaw looked happy, even smug as she gloated and preened among the masses of students.

"Albus," she said sharply turning her eyes to the older man. "You must do something!" she hissed glaring frantically around the Hall.

Dumbledore looked at the article and shook his head sighing a bit. This wasn't something Harry needed right now. Harry deserved any and all privacy he could get and this was just wrong. Sighing again he looked to Minerva. "Breakfast is over anyway, we will send the students to do what they going to do for the day." He said looking around the Hall.

"What about Potter and Chang? Did you see the look on her face?" Minerva asked, her old face flushing a bit in her anger.

Dumbledore looked to the Ravenclaw table, looked to Cho Chang and saw what his transfiguration professor was talking about. The girl was still looking smug and smirking as she conversed with the others around her. Dumbledore narrowed his eyes as he thought what this little bit of information could mean. He looked back to Minerva. "Call both Ms. Chang and Mr. Potter to my office Minerva," he said as he stood up. "I believe breakfast is over," he said to the now quiet Hall. "Go about your day everyone! Ms. Chang if you will follow me to my office?" he said before stepping down from the teachers table and making his way from the Hall.

Minerva watched with a guilty bit of satisfaction as that Chang girl paled slightly before recovering her composure and standing from the table, also making her way from the Hall.

"Seems Potter's found another way to garner attention," a silky voice sneered from beside her. Looking up she looked into the black fathomless gaze of her colleague, Severus Snape and felt like sneering herself almost.

"I don't think Potter is behind this Severus and you really need to let that grudge you have go and stop acting like a child!" She snapped glaring at the black haired man and standing from her seat to collect Harry from where she thought he may be, Gryffindor Tower. She looked at Severus and saw his face flush red in what she gathered was anger, his glare enough to make a lesser person cower. She didn't bother to give him time to respond and turned on her heel and stalked from the slowly dwindling mass of the Great Hall. She didn't have time for a bitter man with petty grudges.

She made her way swiftly to the tower, her strides purposeful and set. She absently clutched her robes as she made her way thinking about the things that happened within the last month. First Harry had received that awful package on the first of February; a bleeding heart said to be in honor of his mother and now this! _The boy poor boy,_ she thought. She knew the boy never had any real privacy, knew he wouldn't the moment he had received that title but this was atrocious. How someone could slander the boy like he was shown today, she didn't know. And she had a feeling that Chang girl had something to do with it.

She sniffed as she continued her brisk pace. She didn't condone casual sex as the children of the last few years seemed to be fond of but she knew hormones ran rampant and that having all these teenagers in the castle was bound to result in them having sexual acts among each other. It's happened since she's been teaching and she knew it would continue to happen. Making it to the portrait of the Fat Lady she barked out the password ignoring the "How Rude!" that came from the portraits inhabitant and strode into the common room.

Looking around she saw Ron and Hermione sitting on one of the couches anxiously, talking to each other. She strode over to them briskly. "Weasley, Granger," she said as they looked up. "Is Potter in the dorm?"

They exchanged a look before Ron spoke up. "His curtains on his bed are spelled shut and he wouldn't answer when we called him but we thinks he's up there," Ron said nervously glancing towards the stairs.

"We tried spelling them open but the locking charm is one we can't counter," Hermione said, a bit of confusion and frustration coming through her worried tone.

Minerva pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes before stalking towards the stairs that lead to the boys dorms. "The Headmaster wants to see him so he will have to come out," she said over her shoulder as she strode up the stairs. She could hear Ron and Hermione following behind her but ignored them as she made her way to the sixth year boy's dorm. Walking into the room she made her way over to the one four poster with closed curtains.

"Potter?" she asked as she came to the curtains. "Potter answer me, the Headmaster wishes to see you!" she snapped when no answer came. Sighing in frustration she pulled out her wand and went about casting unlocking charms on the curtains. When none of the easier unlocking charms worked she huffed quietly before trying another one. This one worked as the curtains glowed very faintly. Pocketing her wand she grasped the curtains in her hands and pulled them open. The bed was empty of any sign of Harry Potter. Looking briefly confused she continued to stare at the bed before scowling. She turned towards her two Gryffindors. "He's not here," she said looking at the two students in front of her. "Did you see him leave?"

"No, when we came back here we checked his bed which had its curtains locked. We didn't see him leave," Hermione said as Ron and she exchanged another look. Minerva pursed her lips and looked annoyed.

"You didn't see him at all?" she asked and the two shook they're heads again. She looked at them closely before decided that they were telling the truth. "Well then," she said as she turned on her heel and began to head back towards the door. "If you see him let him know immediately that the Headmaster wishes to have a word with him," she said as she walked out the door. She decided to head to the Headmasters office and tell him of this development and see what he may suggest.

* * *

Back in the dorm Ron and Hermione waited in silence for a moment as McGonagall left. Once they were sure there Head of House was gone Hermione turned to Ron. 

"Do you think he even came back here?" Ron asked as Hermione looked at him, her confusion and worry evident.

"I don't know," Hermione said kneeling down to Harry's trunk. She grasped the lid and yanked it open and began rummaging through the contents. She could hear the common room filling up as the students came in and searched more frantically.

"Do you think you should really be going through his stuff Mione?" Ron asked nervously as he watched what his girlfriend was doing.

"Ronald," she said in that tone of voice as she continued to search. "After what happened this morning and with Harry not being here like we thought he could be anywhere. What happened was humiliating," she said and then let out a groan of frustration. "Its not here, his cloak, its not here," she rambled as she searched a bit more.

"What about the map?" he asked looking to the door where he could here people coming up.

"No, no, no" she chanted as she gave a huff and shut the trunk. "Neither are in there he must have slipped out under the cloak and took the map with him." She said just as the other occupants of the dorm came in. She threw Ron another worried look and she bit her lip.

"Hey Hermione what are you doing up her?" Dean asked as he sat on the floor in front of his trunk and began going through it.

"McGonagall wanted to speak to Harry and I came up here with Ron to get him," she said as she sat down on top of Harry's trunk.

"How is Harry? After what happened this morning he must be feeling awful," Neville said sitting on his own bed.

"He wasn't in here and we don't know where he is," Ron said with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" Seamus asked looking from Ron to Hermione with wide eyes.

"Exactly that," Hermione said. "We don't know where he is. When we came to find him his curtains were closed and locked with a spell and we couldn't open them. We had thought he was there but ignoring us. McGonagall came to get him for the Headmaster but when she got the curtains open he wasn't there," she explained with a small shrug.

"Do you know where he might be? Maybe we could go look for him," Neville said. Ron looked at his girlfriend and shrugged.

"It's worth a try," he said.

"Come on Neville lets you; I and Ron see if we can't find him, I know a few places he may be." Hermione said as she stood from the trunk.

"You guys want more help?" Dean asked looking up from the book in his hands.

"No, you two staying in the common room?" she asked.

"No heading to the library," Seamus answered.

"You guys see if he's there while you're at it. If he is tell him the Headmaster wants him," she said and the two boys nodded before she, Ron and Neville left the room to start they're search for they're friend.

* * *

Draco was leaning back against the pillows of his bed in his room, the Witch Weekly magazine he had taken from that girl in his lap. He had just left his housemates in the common room where they had spent sometime bad-mouthing Harry. 

**Flashback**

_Walking into the Slytherin common room Draco sat in his customary chair smirking for all he was worth while inside he felt guilty. Sending a silent apology to Harry wherever he was he turned to his housemates mask in place._

"_Did you see the way Potter fled the hall?" Pansy laughed as she sat in a chair, eyes alight with mirth. _

"_Talk about the brave Gryffindor," Millicent Bulstrode guffawed from her seat. _

"_Yes, it was about time Potter got humiliated for something. Probably off to hide away like a coward now," Draco drawled forcing a smooth and easy chuckle from his throat._

"_Who knew Chang had it in her though? This little stunt was worthy of a Slytherin and she did look pretty smug about the article." Blaise said thoughtfully. _

"_Your right Blaise," Theodore Nott said nodding his head of brown hair. "Potter probably didn't even see it coming being the Golden Boy Gryffindor that he is."_

_Draco smirked at this but not for the reasons any of the Slytherins might have thought. He was smirking because he knew Harry had a bit of Slytherin tendencies and that he had seen at least some kind of disaster coming. Maybe not this type of trouble but he was aware of something coming. And Draco also knew Harry wasn't as golden as many thought him to be. _

"_You almost sound sorry for him Nott," a voice like warm velvet said. Draco barely held himself from wincing but did tense a bit. That voice he knew belonged to Morgan Ennis one of the coldest female Slytherins. She was a seventh year and related to Augustus Rookwood by her mother who was Rookwood's sister. It was also known that she wasn't too fond of Theodore as she thought him to be weak and a disgrace to his family. The room went silent at her statement._

"_I'm not," Theodore snapped. "I'm just saying that the little half-blood probably didn't see it coming." His voice was steady as he looked Ennis in the eye. She stared back at him with dark eyes and gave him a sneer but said nothing more._

**End Flashback**

Not long after that Draco had taken his leave and headed to his room. Now he was here in the privacy of his room perusing the magazine. It had Chang's description of the night, or at least the shagging. There were also pictures of Harry in different states of undress. Looking at the pictures closely he had to admire Harry's form. He was lithe and lightly muscled, a little on the thin side but other than that he had an attractive body. Draco felt himself flush as he imagined what that body would feel like pressed up against his, rubbing against his, thrusting against his. Biting his bottom lip he cupped his half-hard erection with his hand and put pressure on it, rubbing his cock lightly. Glancing at the picture of Harry's naked body, the important bits blurred out, he cursed softly and set the magazine aside and began unzipping his pants and pulling them down onto his thighs.

**(Check one of the sites in my profile for the delelted scene)**

Once spent he was gasping, eyes closed and lips parted as he tried to regain his breathing. He opened his eyes still panting lightly and sighed as he sat up. He took in a deep breath before rising from the bed. He shook his head as his thoughts went to what he'd just done. He'd just gotten off to pictures of his friend and said friend had been completely humiliated in front of the whole school not even two hours ago. There had been very few times when Draco felt ashamed of himself or things he'd done and this was one of those times. With a grimace he padded into the bathroom to wash away the shame and the evidence of it.

* * *

(AN: this will go back a bit too just as Harry enters his secret room) 

Harry got to his secret room without any problems, hissed out the password and went through the opening. Walking into the large common room he flopped down onto the plush green couch. He dropped into the chair and stared at the empty fireplace apathetically. He ignored the hissed questions from the runespoor portrait above. He just stared into the barren fireplace.

He knew many people would want him only for the fact that he was the Boy-Who-Lived. He had known this since 2nd year though, when it became obvious that to many people he was the Boy-Who-Lived over being just Harry Potter. It was only painfully obvious when people turned on him for thinking he was the heir of Slytherin, isolated him, and stared at him with hate and fear. But the second he was found out to be innocent, to not be the heir he was liked and fawned over with awe again. It was the same in 4th year when his name came out of the Goblet of Fire. Half the school turned against him including his best friend Ron.

Ron's jealousy showed through that year and to Harry, no matter how much he tried to deny it and ignore it, it showed that at least a part of Ron saw him as being more the Boy-Who-Lived than just Harry. He remembered the spark of bitterness he saw in Ron's eyes that first night after his name came from the Goblet. Ron had wanted to know why Harry hadn't included him in on how to get his name into the Goblet and his bitterness and jealousy shown through more than anything that day. And while Ron had apologized for his behavior and Harry had accepted it he hadn't been able to keep the traitorous thought of _"but will it happen again, Ron? Will you turn on me again when my fame comes into play?"_ from invading his mind.

And when he slept with Cho he had been well aware that it was probably more to do with his Boy-Who-Lived status than anything else. And he had accepted it with a certain amount of bitterness and resignation. But he hadn't expected this! An article on the whole sordid exploit in one of the most read wizarding tabloids. A tabloid almost the whole of the female population of Hogwarts received and many of the magical population as a whole. He could have dealt with her gloating it around the school though it would have been no less humiliating. But this was more than just a hundred students or whatever. This was a large portion of the magical world. He had to breathe deeply to keep himself from panicking or getting angrier than he was.

He could feel his anger rising as he thought about it and stood from his seat. He immediately began to pace in front of the fireplace. Four steps one way stop and turn and four steps the other. He was trying to calm himself down, to cut off the build up of rage that was threatening to overtake him. He could feel his magic stirring around him and within him. Inhaling deeply he held it, turned, paced four steps and let it out slowly. The tension eased a bit but not enough.

"Harry your glowing!" The hissed exclamation from the left head of the snake, Atropos, said.

"He's not glowing," Erinyes hissed scathingly. "He's got sparks coming off of him!"

"She's right you know," Morpheus hissed quietly, calmly. "Its more like sparks than a glow."

Harry had stopped his pacing, startled, at the comments coming from the portrait. Raising his arms he looked down at the bare skin – he was wearing short sleeves – and saw what the runespoor was talking about. He had tiny lightning bolts of red, green, brown, white, silver and grey crackling up and down his arms. Looking down at the rest of his body he noticed that even over his clothes he could see the same colored lightning bolts arcing on his body. Distracted from his previous troubles he stared at himself opened-mouth and wide eyed.

"What's happening to me?" He whispered as he watched the bolts twist around each other and jump from finger tip to finger tip. He was mesmerized and frightened at the same time. He didn't remember this ever happening to him before and he'd been angry plenty of times before. He noticed as he looked on closely that the sparks weren't touching his skin but was moving _above_ the skin. Reaching a hand to touch his other arm he hesitated briefly before attempting to probe a bolt that was arcing up his forearm. The dual colored bolt arched from his arm to his finger and traveled up the new arm with a soft _'zip'_ sound and a tiny sting.

"Salazar used to do that," Erinyes stated.

"He would say that he was leaking magic," Morpheus said.

Harry looked up at the portrait and stared at the three-headed snake a moment. The words took just a second longer than necessary to register but Harry was shocked from two previous events and one couldn't expect him to catch onto everything quickly. "Salazar Slytherin…leaked magic? What do you mean?" He asked.

"When he got... angry, he would have sparks coming off him like you do now," Atropos said. "Though the colors around him if I remember correctly had been red, yellow, grey, gold, and silver I believe."

As Harry talked to the runespoor his anger had slowly dissipated as his curiosity took over. When he looked back down at himself the sparks had disappeared. Looking back up at the portrait he said: "Did Salazar ever say anything about him leaking magic? Why it happens? Anything?"

"Not really say," Morpheus said as he looked down at Harry. "He tended to speak – as you would say – our language when agitated. He would pace and rant. Talk about excessive emotion and magic, controlling it and such. We don't know much but you can always check the library." Morpheus looked at the other two heads at this and they bobbed their heads in agreement.

"Now," Erinyes said seeming to drawl as it hissed. It always amused and disturbed Harry a bit when she would talk like that. "Are you going to tell us what had you so angry when you came in here?"

Harry looked at the portrait of the runespoor for a moment, blankly, before coming back to himself. He frowned and gritted his teeth. He frowned again looking thoughtful. He had known that something was going to happen even if he hadn't imagined anything of this magnitude. Now that he had calmed down he could look at it clearly and he realized that while he was incredibly angry about it he had expected something. Deep down he had expected something big and definitely humiliating but he hadn't thought of it being more public than the school. Sighing he gave the portrait a bitter smile. "It's nothing you three, just an incident with a smug, vain, petty bint who doesn't even matter. For now though," Harry said with a smile that wasn't quite as bitter. "I've got a bit of a research to do." With that he turned and left the sitting room, heading to the library connected to the room through the door on the right.

He didn't leave those rooms at all that day.

* * *

After leaving the tower Minerva had made her way to the Headmasters office and informed him about Harry's missing status. Dumbledore, confident Harry was still within the school or at least on the grounds, had passed along the message for the portraits and ghosts to keep an eye out for him. But he wasn't seen the rest of the day or that night which had many of the professors, excluding Severus, worried over his absence as well as his friends when they couldn't find him anywhere either. Draco was mildly worried about Harry's absence also but knew Harry was off somewhere where no one could find him. He knew Harry would reappear when he was ready to and not until. And while all this was going on the school was overrun with gossip and talk on the article. It was an interest Sunday in Hogwarts.

* * *

AN: Okay everybody I have a few things to add to this. The colors of the sparks on Harry and what the colors mean: I'm using information from: _A Complete Guide to Magic and Ritual_ by _Cassandra Eason_. Some things, if there are any who have read or will read the book, have been tweaked a bit to fit my purpose but the information source belongs to Cassandra Eason. 

**White:** The color of divinity and the life force. It represents light, vitality and boundless energy.

**Black:** The color of not only death, but also of regeneration. It represents marking the boundaries of the past and moving forward towards the future.

**Red:** A color in many traditions that represents blood or the essence of life. The color can also represent power, physical energy and determination, along with courage when facing opposition and change under difficult circumstances.

**Orange:** The color of fertility, whether personal or to bring a project to fruition and to find personal happiness.

**Yellow: **Traditionally the color of the mind and communication and has sometimes been associated with jealousy and treachery. It can also represent intellectual achievement, learning and travel, along with facing mental challenges or when it is important to express your self clearly or to change location.

**Green:** The color of the heart, love and emotions. Has an association with the garden and growth.

**Blue:** Is the 'healing' color and the color of the spirit. It is the color of conventional wisdom and limitless possibilities. Blue can expand the possibilities in boundaries and create confidence. Blue can also be for idealism when dealing with officialdom and when seeking justice.

**Purple:** Purple provides a link with higher dimension, with nobility of spirit and with inspirations. Purple can also represent when you need to trust you inner voice and for psychic development and spiritual strength.

**Brown:** The color of the Earth and the Earth spirits. Rich, vibrant brown represents rooted power and instinctive wisdom. It is also the color of affinity with the natural world and acts as a protective force.

**Pink:** Represent the gentler aspects of love and kindness. It is also the color of reconciliation and harmony and can induce quiet sleep.

**Grey:** The shade of compromise and adaptability. It is also the color of invisibility and protection against psychic attacks.

**Gold: **Gold represents the heights of worldly achievement, wealth and recognition. It also represents money, long life and great ambitions, for confidence to aim high and achieve your dreams.

**Silver:** Silver represents dreams, visions, and a desire for fulfillment beyond the material world. Sliver can also represent intuition and sudden insights especially in your dreams and can also mean bringing hidden potential to the fore.

The colors and what's happening to Harry will be explained later on but just keep it in mind!


	16. A Hectic Day and an Interesting Night

Sorry for the late update! I've been taking time to go over this chapter and fix as many mistakes as I could find. But here it is! Enjoy Everyone!

* * *

Chapter 16: A Hectic Day and an Interesting Night

When Harry awoke the next morning it was a moment before he remembered why he was sleeping in his secret room. When he did remember he had buried his head under his pillow, groaned and wished it had all been a nightmare. That all that had happened yesterday had been a sick and twisted nightmare. But he knew it hadn't been. He had risen from his bed and showered deciding to skip breakfast in the Great Hall. After he was done his shower he had put on his clothes from the day before and made his way back into the sitting room. As he walked from his bedroom he stood by the couch and cocked his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. He was hungry but didn't what to go to the Great Hall to eat so he figured he'd wait until everyone else was at breakfast before slipping down to the kitchens.

As he sat down to wait he realized he didn't have any of his school books and material and sighed in frustration. A thoughtful look came over his face and he bit his lip. He would most likely have to head to the Tower first and then to the kitchen. With another sigh he rose from the seat he was sitting in, opened the map and checked the area surrounding his room until he was satisfied, put it back in his bag along with his cloak, swung the bag he had brought with him the night before over his shoulder, and hissed a goodbye to the portrait before walking toward the door.

As the stone wall solidified behind him Harry walked away as quickly as possible after looking for anybody to be around. He started in the direction of Gryffindor Tower since he needed to retrieve his school books and materials. He encountered no one as he made his way to the Tower, which he was thankful for. As he climbed the steps to the portrait he came across his first problem.

"Oh! Mr. Potter, dear, the Headmaster has sent out a search for you, you know?" The Fat Lady said as he approached her. "You gave everyone a right scare when you couldn't be found, but me, being the gra-"

"Fortis viscus," Harry bit out not waiting for her to finishing.

"Well I never!" she huffed looking irritated. "Kids these days are so rude," she muttered as she swung open. Harry hurried inside and up to his dorm quickly. He noticed the bed curtains were open and figured that that was the reason for the supposed search party. He briefly wondered who had spelled them open but dismissed the thought as he went about changing into new clothes quickly. After that he opened his trunk to put his other bag away and narrowed his eyes. It looked like someone had gone rummaging through it trying to find something. He knew it had to be either Ron or Hermione and felt irritated that they were invading his privacy. Vowing to keep a locking charm on his trunk he placed the bag in there, casting a locking charm on it before picking up his school bag from beside the trunk.

Leaving the Tower again he headed for the kitchens to grab something light to eat for breakfast knowing today would be a long and hard day. There was sure to be talk of the article and the very thought made him cringe inwardly. He steeled himself on what he knew was to come, placing his mask on firmly and building his walls up securely. He would not let any know how he truly felt about the incident. Let the comments and barbs come but he would stand strong and indifferent through all of it.

He was thinking this to himself as he heard his name called by an old, but strong voice. "Harry?" He held himself from sighing and looked around. He was about three or four corridors from the kitchens and looking behind him he noticed Dumbledore standing there. He turned around and paced a bit closer to the old man.

"What is it Professor?" he asked calmly, tone as polite as he could manage.

Dumbledore gazed at him closely a bit. "How're you, my boy?" he asked gently as he motioned for Harry to walk with him. Harry gritted his teeth, but complied. They were walking in the direction of the kitchens, Harry noticed.

"As well as can be expected, sir, considering my private life has been once again made public," Harry stated his tone calm as he walked. He decided not to try and dance circles around the subject as much as possible.

"Ah yes," Dumbledore said quietly. "The article in _Witch Weekly_ was rather... descriptive and personal in its nature."

"I wouldn't know considering I didn't read it, but I'm sure many will tell me in great detail – and quite gleefully, I might add – about the contents of the magazine," Harry replied.

"Yes," Albus said nodding. "I'm sure some will be quite interested in talking to you about the article. Do you know how it came about?" Albus asked as they approached the portrait of the fruit.

Harry snorted at the question and couldn't quite keep the scorn out of his tone. "Of course I do," he said barely holding himself from snapping the words out and glaring at the man. He focused on the portrait instead. "I'm the Boy-Who-lived, am I not? People only want a piece of the icon and that's where it all starts really! It starts with the moment my parents died and the instant I became the venerated Child Hero of the Magical World. From that day on I was an icon and someone easily used and discarded. Cho used me for, and because of the title and this is what the result is. It's not surprising because who would honestly want Harry when they can have the Boy-Who-Lived?" Harry spat the title out resentfully but slowly lost his steam. He couldn't believe he'd just gone and said all those things and to Dumbledore at that!

Albus didn't say anything for a long while. He tickled the pear which wriggled a bit as the picture flew open. They walked through and were immediately accosted by the house elves. Dobby barged his way to the front and bowed to the visitors.

"Harry Potter, sir and headmaster Dumbledore! What can Dobby do for sirs?" Dobby asked enthusiastically looking up at them with his big eyes. The surrounding house elves shot him envious looks when Harry spoke to him.

"Just a few slices of toast and some eggs Dobby and some orange juice for me please?" Harry asked as he sat down at one tables.

"Just the orange juice for me Dobby I've already eaten," Dumbledore said as he sat across from Harry. Dobby nodded and set to his task. Dumbledore and he sat in silence for the short time it took to receive their requests. Once set in front of them Dumbledore took a sip of his orange juice before looking up at Harry. "Is that really how you feel Harry?" he asked as if the previous conversation had never been interrupted.

Harry put a forkful of egg into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. "Does it matter?" Harry asked his tone indifferent. He pressed on though as the old man remained silent. "I mean that's what people see me as right? Venerated Child Hero, the Boy-Who-Lived, and even if it isn't widely known," Harry said given Dumbledore a pointed look, implying the prophecy. "People expect me to defeat Voldemort because of a freak accident when I was one year's old. So does it really matter what I feel?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow, tone matter-of-fact and condescending at the same time as he bit into a piece of buttered toast more viciously then strictly necessary.

Dumbledore looked at the young man in front of him sadly. He could practically feel the bitterness rolling off the young wizard. It was heavy in its weightiness and pressed against him with a gentle but strong force. "Harry there are people out there that do not see you that way," Dumbledore said looking at the young man over his half moon spectacles. "What about Ron and Hermione or the rest of the Weasley's and Remus? I'm sure they don't see you as such."

Harry remained silent for awhile as he munched on his breakfast. He could refute that fact, more easily than most would think, but he didn't know if he should say something. What the Headmaster said was mostly true but Harry, used to seeing the familiar emotions in people's eyes knew that sometimes his friends forgot he was just Harry. He saw it sometimes when news of attacks would come in, though there had been few so far this year. While he hadn't seen it in the older Weasley's or Remus yet he didn't hold much hope that when things began to get really bad that it wouldn't be there He sighed and looked back up at Dumbledore. "Not all the time no," Harry said neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "But sometimes I think people forget that I'm just Harry; another teenager just like them, with problems just like them. But whatever," Harry said downing the last of his orange juice and standing up. "I need to go; I want to get to class before the rush of students."

Dumbledore looked at Harry for a long moment as the black haired boy stood there looking back at him, his face devoid of emotion. He sighed as he also drank down his juice and stood up. "Of course Harry, my boy," Dumbledore said as Dobby began clearing the table they ate on. "You know, sometimes the way we see ourselves we project onto the way others see us." Dumbledore stated nonchalantly, looking at Harry over his glasses.

Harry looked at Dumbledore at the statement and knew the old man was subtly saying Harry may be over exaggerating in his claim. He bit back a growl as anger rose in him. He decided not to say anything to that statement. "Am I getting any sort of punishment out of this?" he asked instead.

"There'll be fifty points from Gryffindor for being in a student's room but nothing more. I think you've had sufficient enough punishment with the results from yesterday morning," Dumbledore replied. "While the Board of Governors doesn't really think…sexual activities should be going on in the school they know how it was when they went and that the chance of it not happening it very small. There have been many students before you, Harry, who have been participating in sexual acts in this school."

"What about Cho, what punishment did she get?" Harry asked.

"Seventy-five points from her house, expulsion from her Head Girl duties with the second choice for the position filling in for the rest of the year and a months worth of detention as she had planned all this. We – Professor Flitwick and I – got the whole statement from her after…a bit of discussion on the matter," Dumbledore answered. "Now hurry on, my boy, there's still five minutes before breakfast is over," Dumbledore said with a small smile. Harry didn't return it he just turned and left the kitchen without another word. Dumbledore sighed again as he wondered if Harry would ever forgive him.

* * *

Harry left the kitchen and quickly made his way towards potions class. He still felt the anger burning under his skin at Dumbledore words of his supposed exaggeration, and just barely held himself from stomping down the corridors. He took a deep breath in through his nose, held it, and then let it out slowly. Some of his tension eased but not all of it. He was saddened at the lost of house points but cheered slightly at the punishment Cho had received. Today was going to be a horrible, bloody day and he wasn't looking forward to it at all. He arrived at the potions classroom. The door was open so he stepped inside, and sat for once, not in his normal seat but in the back of the room close to the door, setting his bag down beside him. No one else was in the room but that was only because Snape was most likely waiting to make his usual overdramatic entrance.

Harry had only been sitting there a very short while when he heard the low rumble of voices and feet on stone coming closer to the room. He took another deep breath, putting up all his walls and defenses against the eventual onslaught that was the students in his potions class. His face was emotionless and he pleaded with every deity he knew that he would be able to hold his temper and not cause any harm or property damage.

And then the students were shuffling into the classroom. At first no one seemed to notice him, or at least he thought no one noticed him. His eyes were on the worktable in front of him. But then he heard it; the unmistakable hum of whispers starting up. He could feel the stares that were on him and held him self firmly from fidgeting.

"Harry!" he could here Hermione exclaim and several pair of feet coming in his direction. "Oh Harry, we couldn't find you after you left the Great Hall, and McGonagall wanted you cause Dumbledore had wanted to see you, but you weren't in your dorm," Hermione began to babble rapidly.

"Oi! Potter, were you hiding out! Too much of a coward to face things?" Pansy asked sweetly as she made her way toward him.

"Parkinson your one to talk about cowardice," Harry said interrupting Ron's sputtering at Pansy's statement. He looked up at her his face blank of emotion. "How many of your fellow Slytherins know you've been shagging Ernie Macmillan off and on for a month now?" the question was casual and he tilted his head as he looked at the dark haired girl. The people around her began to look at her curiously surprised at this.

Pansy looked shocked at first before her feature quickly took on a scowl and she glared heatedly at the raven haired boy. "Please Potter," she scoffed. "I wouldn't lower myself to shag some disgusting Hufflepuff. You tell lies. You just don't want to face the fact that Chang got the better of you," she sneered before smirking haughtily.

"Of course you have," Harry said right back ignoring the last part of what she said. He smirked, a dark and dangerous smirk at her and she looked slightly wary at this. "You have a fetish Parkinson for doing it in places where you're likely to get caught," his smirk turned even more vicious and the Slytherin girl was struggling to look unaffected. Harry noticed Draco behind her, face impassive but caught him looking mildly interested. Eyes fixing on Pansy he continued relentlessly.

"What about the corridor the Charms classroom is in? What about the wall across from the Great Hall? What about that supposedly abandoned corridor in the dungeons?" Harry asked. Pansy was pale but glaring at him all the same. _I'm tired of letting people get to me and I'm not my going to take it anymore, especially not today,_ Harry thought feeling a bit smug with himself. He wasn't almost placed into Slytherin for nothing. He glanced briefly at Draco and saw the vaguely impressed look in his stormy grey eyes.

"It's not wise to make up lies Potter," she hissed, trembling a bit in her rage. Her face was regaining color, flushing pink in her anger. "Tell me Potter," she said her demeanor slowly changing. "Chang said that you were a good shag, but she was really just trying to protect your fame, wasn't she?" she smirked as she looked down her nose at him. "Cant have the Boy-Who-Lived looking like a _complete_ incompetent, can we?"

Harry clenched his fists that were on the table and glared at the girl. His face flushed in a mix of embarrassment and anger and he stood from the table, put his hands palms flat on its surface and leaned forward towards the dark haired girl. In a calm, slightly strained voice he spoke. "Now listen here you annoying pug-faced bitch! Don't –"

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your language Potter," the velvet voice of Severus Snape sneered. The student began scrambling for their seats if they weren't already sitting. Harry vaguely noticed Draco sitting one seat in front of his. Snape strode to the front of the class, scowl firmly in place. He turned to face the class eyes almost immediately going to Harry. "Another ten point from Gryffindor for being an arrogant, attention seeker. Really Potter, coercing somebody into helping you gain more fame and publicity; that was low and disgusting, but what more can we expect from you?" Snape sneered viciously. The Slytherins of the room began to snicker at this while the Gryffindors glared at the man.

Harry could feel himself almost vibrating with rage. He took a deep breath trying to clamp down on it, on the burning feeling that was running through him at those words. He wouldn't let Snape's vitriolic words get to him, he wouldn't! Letting out the breath through his nose, he forced his face to become indifferent, forced it to shut down. He saw Snape's face flicker with annoyance at his lack of response and felt satisfied about it. He sat back down in his seat silently, not showing how much the words of his hated professor got under his skin.

"What Potter, no brazen retort?" Severus quipped smirking at the boy. He was pretty sure the annoying brat was too embarrassed to say anything. But this thought was immediately crushed the next second.

"If you want to get your enjoyment out of spewing insults at children, then fine. But I won't help you by getting angry about it," Harry said calmly. He was using every bit of restraint to hold back his anger and not give Snape the satisfaction of getting a rise out of him.

Snape's eyes narrowed at the insolent boy. "Another five points from Gryffindor for your cheek Potter," Snape snapped, glaring fiercely. "Open your books to page 115! You will be taking notes today on a potion you will be making your next class period." Snape said addressing the class. Everyone went about doing as he said quickly. Through the commotion of people getting their things Harry glanced toward Draco and noticed him glancing at him with a quirked eyebrow and shook his head slightly.

"The Draught of the Living Death..." Snape began in his condescending tones. Harry detached a piece of parchment and scribbled a hasty note on it. Making a small, barely heard noise in his throat Harry caught the blonde's attention again and surreptitiously flashed the now folded up note. Draco gave a downward tilt of his chin and Harry dropped the note on the ground and pushed it with his foot toward the blonde. It stopped not far from the corner of his table and Harry glance casually around the room to see if anyone saw but everyone was engrossed with the lesson. Draco put the toe of his foot on the note and slid it towards himself. In a show of scratching his leg he reached down and picked up the note depositing it in his pocket. Harry knew he would read it when he could and went back to paying attention to the lesson.

* * *

As the class before lunch let out Draco shooed away his friends with an excuse of needing to use the bathroom. They went ahead without him, and Draco made his way to the nearest boys' bathroom. Once inside he made sure no one else was there before digging the note Harry had given him out of his pocket. Opening it he read what was scrawled there.

_Draco _

_I need to talk with you. I'll be by your room sometime tonight. Don't know what time._

_P.S. Pansy really shouldn't mess with a Gryffindor whose half Slytherin, the consequences could be damaging to the person on the receiving end. And, yes, she has been shagging Macmillan from Hufflepuff._

_Harry_

Draco chuckled at what Harry wrote about Pansy. He hadn't known she was shagging Macmillan but he knew, somehow, that Harry was telling the truth. Merlin knows the boy had his ways of finding these things out. That made him wonder briefly if Harry had anything that he, Draco, hadn't divulged to him. He admired Harry's Slytherin side that was showing much more than before. After the other night he couldn't really believe that Harry Potter was almost sorted into Slytherin. But after today's little display he could believe it much more easily. With another chuckle Draco refolded the note, slipped it back into his pocket, and walked from the bathroom.

* * *

The day seemed to pass in slow motion to Harry who was having possibly one of the worst days of his life. The staring and whispering had been even worst and more annoying than usual. He received many leering smiles from people; appreciative looks that he noticed weren't just from girls. It was embarrassing, really. He didn't see what the fuss about it was. He wasn't all that good looking in his opinion. But apparently a good portion of the population of Hogwarts thought differently.

To add to the stares and whispers Harry had been dismissing, avoiding and dodging every one of Hermione's and Ron's questions all day. He could tell they were annoyed but he really didn't want to get into another shouting match with them. But it was inevitable as right after dinner Hermione and Ron cornered him in the boys' dorm as he went up there. No one else was there; Neville, Seamus and Dean all having stayed in the common room. He watched as Hermione shut the door, and cast locking and silence charms. He leaned back on his elbows on the bed as she turned around a determine look in her eyes. Ron, too, looked mighty upset and determined. Harry braced himself for what he knew was coming.

"Harry, where did you go yesterday after breakfast when no one could find you? What was with that article? You've been keeping secrets from us all year, and were your friends!" Hermione said immediately barely pausing for breath. She had her hands on her hips and she was glaring at him with hard eyes.

"Yeah mate," Ron said looking hurt. "It's been happening all year, but I've been giving you your space and not saying anything. I know you were pretty torn up after…Sirius died and I figured all you needed was some space," Ron said carefully as he stood next to Hermione.

Harry's expression had remained pretty indifferent through what his friends were saying, but his eyes had taken on a hard glint. Breathing slowly through his nose he looked from one to the other. "Why does it matter where I went? Maybe I wanted to be alone after being humiliated in front of the whole school. As for the article; "what was with it" Hermione? It was pretty self-explanatory, don't you think? I slept with Cho, she sold the story in all its details I'm told to _Witch Weekly_ and that's it! As for my secrets I'm keep lately? Am I not allowed to have some secrets, some privacy or am I required to inform you two of everything I do? And while on the note of privacy, who the fuck gave you two the right to go through my trunk!" Harry spat the last sentence out glaring at his two friends.

"We were worried about where you could be!" Hermione exclaimed at the same time Ron said, "I didn't go through your trunk!" Harry looked from Ron to Hermione and his hard stare drilled into her, green eyes dark in his suppressed anger.

"Oh, so Hermione you think you have the right to go snooping around in my things?" His voice was low and calm, a hint anger seeping into the words.

"If something's wrong with you and Ron," she threw the redhead a look. "and I want to make sure your okay then yes, I believe I have a right." Hermione replied her chin raised stubbornly, a defiant look in her eyes.

"Well think again Hermione," Harry hissed, finally sitting up from his leaning position on the bed. He sat on the end of his four poster, feet just barely touch the stone floor. "What exactly were you looking for anyway?" he asked though he thought he already knew.

"The map because I thought we would be able to find out where you were but it wasn't there and neither was your cloak," she said, a hint of accusation in her tone. Her face softened a bit and so did her tone. "Harry we're just worried about you. You've been distant this year, always wanting to be by yourself, and the secrets it's obvious that you're keeping," she said and sighed sadly. "Why can't you just talk to us Harry?"

Harry stayed silent after she spoke, his glare only softening a bit. Why did it always seem like he wasn't allowed to have privacy? Was he not allowed to have time to himself to think and work things through on his own, or did Hermione and Ron think him incapable of doing such? Still staring stonily he remained resolutely silent.

"Harry," Ron said as the silence lengthened, looking uncomfortable. "We just want to know what's going on with you. All this time you spend alone; if you need to talk we're here for you but you barely talk to us anymore. At least not about anything really important, like it was before," Ron ended quietly.

"Before what Ron?" Harry snapped, his face flushing in his anger. "Before Sirius died? Before I really showed my "saving people thing" problem" he said and threw a pointed look in Hermione's direction. She flinched at hearing her words from last year come back to her. "and got him killed? Is that the before your talking about?" he asked quite nastily. Both his friends looked a bit stricken and were shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. They looked like they had lost all their bravado they had come into the room with, and Harry felt a stab of guilt at being able to easily reduce his friends to this. _But they have to understand that I'm not always going to want to talk to them about stuff. They're going to have to realized that we don't share everything,_ Harry thought with equal measures of sadness and firmness. He wasn't backing down on this!

"Harry, Sirius' death wasn't your fault! Bellatrix cast the curse that resulted in his death," Hermione said coming back to herself. It was a little hard to believe that her words from last year had been remembered, and to hear them thrown back at her had been a shock.

"She's right mate," Ron said looking at his best friend imploringly. "You didn't cast the curse, Bellatrix Lestrange did."

"But if I had stayed back, let the adults handle it Sirius might still be here! Isn't that the truth? If I had stayed back here and let the Order handle it all Sirius would have stayed back because I wouldn't have been in danger, and you guys and Ginny, Neville and Luna wouldn't have gotten hurt. If I hadn't been reckless than things might be different now! But there not and Sirius is dead and I'm partly to blame and NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT!" Harry said. He was shouting by the end of it, trembling in his anger and frustration.

Ron and Hermione were struck speechless in the face of his anger and just stared at their enraged friend. They didn't know what to say to this, they didn't know how to make him understand that it wasn't his fault. They stared at him, green eyes shining and crackling like green fire. Chest heaving and body tense; they didn't know what to do.

"It wasn't your fault!" Hermione cried desperately. "And I never meant that comment in a negative way. I just meant that you had a big heart and tended to let it rule you. That you like to be a hero and save people," she said looking at him pleadingly. She flinched back at the cold look to his green eyes.

"I've seen where my recklessness gets me. I've seen where my 'big heart' gets me, and I'm not going to allow it anymore," his voice was cold and calm, a fierce determination showed through his words. "I'll not let them get in the way because when I do it costs me, and I'm tired of it."

"Harry what do you mean?" Ron asked looking at Harry with cautious blue eyes.

"That the reckless, rush-into-things behavior has to stop," Harry said firmly. He softened his voice to get through to his friends. They didn't understand that Sirius' death was at least marginally his fault, and if they did they weren't going to say so. It aggravated him that they wouldn't agree with him on this, that they wouldn't at least see his point. He didn't want the comfort they were trying to offer. He'd rather have the cold, hard truth. It wasn't misleading like so many things in his life.

"Listen guys," Harry said with a sigh. "I'm just tired of it all and I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. In order for that to happen it means I need to stop my reckless-rush-into-danger-head-first-and-worry-as-things-go behavior. Don't you think I acted rashly last year?" Harry asked in a reasonable tone. He saw Ron and Hermione share a look for a long, silent moment. Then they turned back to him both looking a little uncomfortable.

"Well," Ron said shifting his weight. "I mean I probably would have done the same thing had it been someone I care about but I can see your point."

"Yes you were a bit rash to just head into things like that," Hermione said reluctantly. Harry was satisfied enough with their answers though he knew he sort of manipulated them into saying it. He felt slightly guilty but figured if he could get them to see things from his point maybe someday they would understand his outlook on life. He let out a large yawn that was only halfway faked.

"Well I'm tired you two, I think I'm going to turn in. Today's been really stressful and I guess it's all starting to catch up to me," he said as he stretched a little, and made it look like he was getting into bed.

"It's still pretty early," Ron argued.

"Yes, well you didn't have people staring at you all day and whispering – which aren't really new for me – and making many obscene comments in the process. It was really tiring having to fend people off from asking questions and whatnot. I'm tired from it all and I didn't sleep much last night either," Harry said, slightly defensively.

"Where DID you sleep last night Harry?" Hermione asked looking at him curiously. Harry leveled a stare at her.

"That would be none of your business Hermione. I go there to get away from everything, and all you need to know is I'm safe there," Harry replied firmly. Hermione looked ready to argue it, but instead she closed her mouth and remained silent. She nodded her head grudgingly to his answer.

"We'll leave and let you rest mate," Ron said grabbing hold of Hermione's hand. "We're alright, aren't we?" Ron asked as he stood at the door with Hermione. Harry gave them a small smile.

"Yeah we're fine," he answered simply. Ron nodded and Hermione smiled, both looking relieved as Hermione took down the spells. They said they're goodnights before leaving the room. They closed the door behind them. Harry listened for their retreating footsteps, muffled as they were and sighed. He loved his friends dearly, really he did, but they sometimes just got on his nerves. With another sigh he threw his invisibility cloak over himself. He had told Draco to expect him and he still wanted to talk to the blonde. Pulling out his wand he spelled the curtains shut, and once satisfied he pocketed his wand and made his way from the room.

He crept carefully down the stairs, thankful that no one was making their way up them. Once at the bottom he glanced into the common room and looked around. Now he had to get out of the common room without getting caught. He wasn't in the mood for his friends' questions on where he was going. Looking around he decided to make a split-second decision and hope for the best. Making his way in the direction of the far corner of the common room he eased his way behind Ginny who was sitting with her back to the portrait hole among a few people from her year. He leaned in carefully until he was close to her ear.

"Don't say anything Ginny," he whispered quickly into her ear. She jerked slightly but stilled immediately. "Head to the portrait and open it for me please, and don't say anything about me." Harry said. She quickly made her excuse to her friends and rose from the chair she sat in. She walked casually towards the door and Harry followed carefully behind her.

"Ginny? Where are you going, it's almost curfew," Hermione's voice said just before they reached the portrait.

"I, uh, need a book from the library. I have an essay and didn't realize I would still need the book," Ginny said. "I'll be right back Hermione, no worries."

Hermione gave her a long look before nodding her head. "Make sure you are Ginny," she said and went back to her homework. Ginny sighed before turning back and walking out. Harry followed behind her, the portrait closing behind him.

"Harry?" she said quietly looking around her. Harry grabbed her hand and tugged her down the stairs, away from the nosy portrait. Once at a safe enough distance he pulled the cloak back a bit.

"Ginny don't ask me what I'm doing," Harry said softly as he looked at her. "Let's just say I owe you one and keep this between us please?" Ginny looked at him oddly.

"You're not in danger are you?" she asked.

"No Ginny I'm not in danger or any trouble but just trust me on this okay? I need to you to not tell Ron and Hermione or anyone really about this," Harry replied. She was silent for a moment, obviously thinking about it. She was staring at him, her bright brown eyes intense.

"Alright," she said and sighed. "I'll keep quiet about it but you owe me," she warned pointing a finger at him. He smiled and pulled her into a quick hug before letting go.

"Thanks Ginny, you just call in that favor when you need it," Harry said before sweeping the cloak around him and heading off. He navigated his way quickly into the dungeons and to Draco's room. He knocked at the frame and waited for it to open. As it did he slipped in, and as it closed he pulled the cloak off.

He turned around, a greeting on the tip of his tongue and stared. Draco was standing there in blue silk pajama pants, a blue t-shirt resting on his shoulders in the stages of being pulled on. Harry stared at the exposed bit of chest and stomach. He'd seen it before of course, but it didn't stop him from looking. Draco was lightly muscled, though still a bit on the thin side as he was still coming into his body. Harry found Draco's navel to be an interesting thing and stared at it.

"Finally here I see," Draco said pulling his shirt down. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up." he looked at Harry who was looking around the room, anywhere but Draco. At these words he looked back a faint flush to his cheeks, and smiled wryly.

"Hermione and Ron saw fit to ask where I was last night since I didn't go back to the Tower," Harry said. Then his reasons for wanting to see Draco came rushing back into his mind. "I can't believe what that...that fucking bitch did!" Harry exclaimed and turned to look at Draco. "I mean I expected something to happen, you know but this wasn't even close to what I was thinking. And the article!" Harry spat and began to pace furiously, gesticulating wildly with his hands. Draco walked past him and sat down in his usual chair, and listened to Harry rant and watched him pace.

"How did she get those fucking pictures anyway? I don't remember her having a camera or anything. And all the stuff that was in that article – I mean I haven't read it but I'm going on what people have been saying all day. I've had to put up with rude comments and propositions all day, it was so bloody annoying! And Cho," he spat glaring at nothing in particular. "She looked so damned smug about it all, like she had just won some great bloody prize!" Harry could feel the anger pulsing under the surface of his control, looking for an outlet. He continued to mutter disjointedly as he paced, face flushed and eyes burning. He slowly wound down and turned back to look at Draco looking exhausted and angry. He flopped down on the couch, his usual spot, and sprawled out on his back. He fell silent, suddenly out of steam and words.

There was a silence for a bit before Draco cleared his throat. Harry looked at him and Draco looked back. "One, I honestly didn't expect Chang to go that route either. When I said something big I was thinking more along the lines of having taken pictures and showing them around the school, or selling them. This was much more public than I had thought. I honestly think it was highly stupid of you to even start back up with her in the first place," Draco said and gave Harry that patronizing look he hadn't seen in so long. "It was obvious she was up to something. I mean from what you've told me she wanted to talk about Diggory the first time you went out, and then proceeded to stare at another couple – the guy of which she had once and maybe still had – fancied. It was a disaster from the second she asked you out again." Harry scowled a bit at the blonde but then thought about what he said, and realized he was right.

"As for how she got the pictures? Recording charm of some kind is my guess," Draco continued with a shrug. "But this should teach you a lesson; always think ahead and try to figure out a person's motives. And if you can't have sufficient blackmail material ready." The infamous smirk appeared on the pale pink lips. Harry looked at him and snorted at what the blonde said. He told him of both his and Cho's punishments. "Well she deserved it and probably more. You should get a bit of revenge for what she did. And previously speaking of blackmail where did you learn that about Pansy?"

"You know of my invisibility cloak. Well, I would wander around the halls when I couldn't sleep under it so I wouldn't get caught, and I happened to stumble upon Parkinson with Macmillan a few times over the last month. And besides, I had no plans on taking crap from anyone today and decided to give her a bit to think about," Harry said with a smirk. Draco chuckled but nodded his head.

"She may be in my house and something of an acquaintance I would say, but that was brilliant," Draco replied and then raised an eyebrow. "How many other people do you have information on?"

Harry gave a slow mysterious smile. "A few," he said vaguely. Draco gave him a look before shaking his head. They talked on a bit, Harry describing his day and Draco relaying everything he'd heard from gossip, and even showing Harry the article. Harry had snorted at it before throwing it back at Draco It wasn't long before Harry was yawning and looking tired.

"Damn, nosy assholes," Harry muttered. "I'm tired after having to deal with them all day. Hey, you mind if stayed here tonight? I don't feel like heading back to the Tower, and I'm just way too tired to try." He looked at the blonde across from him who was also looking a bit tired. Draco started at this and looked at Harry with wide eyes, some of the fatigue receding.

"You want to stay here?" Draco asked his tone sounding a bit incredulous. Harry nodded.

"Yeah if you don't mind me doing so, I can sleep on the couch." Harry replied.

Draco looked skeptically at the couch and the boy on it. He knew from personal experience after falling asleep on that couch one night that it wasn't that comfortable to sleep on. Draco didn't think it a great idea for Harry to sleep the night on it but that only left one other option and he wasn't sure Harry would go for it. "That couch isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on," he commented with a doubtful look at it.

Harry grimaced not at all liking the consequences his back would take. "Where else would you suggest?" He asked biting back another yawn.

Draco looked slightly uncomfortable and averted his eyes from Harry's. The suggestion would probably seem odd and Draco wasn't ready to lose his friend because of a stupid crush he had on him. "Well – and just hear me out – you could sleep in my bed," Draco replied looking anywhere but at Harry, "I mean it would be more comfortable but you don't have to. I mean you wouldn't want to share a bed with another guy obviously," Draco rambled. He felt very stupid for even bringing it up now and wished he had kept his mouth shit

Harry looked at Draco and sat up slowly. He thought about what the blonde was saying. He wouldn't really have too much of a problem sleeping in the same bed as Draco, except for the reason that he was sure he was starting to become attracted to the blonde, and he didn't want any embarrassing incidents. But the idea of sleeping in a comfy bed was very tempting. "I don't think I'd mind too much," Harry said slowly when Draco had stopped babbling. The blonde head snapped around so fast Harry wondered if the blonde may have gotten whiplash, and stared at him with wide unreadable eyes. "I mean I wouldn't be too uncomfortable with it." Harry said quickly. Draco raised an eyebrow, eyes still unreadable though no longer wide. Harry hastened to explain, though he didn't know why, and detailed a vague account of his summer activities. When he was done Draco was looking mildly impressed and shocked.

"You've actually...done stuff…with other blokes before?" Draco asked. Harry became slightly defensive at his tone though it wasn't of disgust like he thought it would be.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" Harry snapped. His tone was icy and defensive. After he had taken time to actually analyze what he'd done over the summer he had slowly come to terms with the fact that he liked boys as well as girls. He had finally become comfortable with the fact and didn't want to go back into denial or loose a friend over it.

"No, no it fine with me," Draco replied, quick to reassure. "But its late and I think we can save my own experience with the same gender for another time," Draco drawled casually as he stood from his chair. Harry gaped at the words but decided not to say anything. He would have to hear it sometime though! They walked towards Draco's bedroom where the bed was just like Harry's in Gryffindor Tower only a bit bigger and with green and black curtains, sheet and blankets. Draco graciously offered Harry pajama pants to sleep in which Harry accepted and left on the t-shirt he had had on under his school shirt. After that they had each got into the bed with a bit of space between them. It was incredibly awkward at first but they finally settled into comfortable positions. Harry lay on his stomach, arms tucked around a pillow and Draco lay with his back to Harry. After while their earlier exhaustion caught up with them and they drifted off to sleep.


	17. Attraction, Avoidance, an Apology and a

Hey everybody! SO sorry for the long wait, but I've been working on future chapters trying to get more typed up to get them to you more frequently. So I've been stressed, tired, frustrated and writer-blocked for a bit. There were time when I broke down and didn't know if I could do it anymore. Not for lack of inspiration I want to finish this and the sequel that will come, but for the stress I've been under. So if you want to drop me a line and rant about the lateness of this chapter go ahead, because I dearly deserve it. Also, thank you for all the wonderful reviews, but new reviewers and old.

Now, on with the chapter!

* * *

Chapter 17: Attraction, Avoidance, an Apology and a Kiss 

He dreamt that he was holding something warm to his chest; lithe arms wound tightly around whatever it was. Breathing in through his nose he could smell the faintest traces of what smelled like peaches. As he nuzzled into the back of whatever he held he slowly became aware of two things. One was that he wasn't exactly dreaming and two was that the warm thing he held was a person, and by the sight of blond hair he knew it was Draco. He made no immediate movement as he realized he was spooned behind Draco, holding the blond to him. As he slowly woke up a little more he found himself disinclined to move and nuzzled a bit more into the back of the pale neck.

_This is really nice,_ he thought somewhat sluggishly. He could tell by the even breathing that Draco was still asleep and he thought that best as opposed to explaining any awkwardness that may rise, away. He pressed up a bit tighter to the other boy, letting the attraction he had felt before but dismissed take over. Draco was warm against him and Harry pressed his nose into the blond hair, inhaling. There was that faint trace of peach he had smelt. He ran a hand lightly over Draco's stomach and felt him move slightly. He could feel himself growing aroused from the proximity, and was glad Draco wasn't awake to feel his half hard length press into him. He stopped, and slowly and carefully removed his arms from the blond and moved back over in the bed, away from his friend. He sighed and turned on his side facing away from Draco.

He hadn't been with another male since his last night at a rave during the summer. He had secretly checked out some of the other guys in the school and found some quite attractive but hadn't made a move to do anything else. He hadn't wanted to intertwine his rave time with his Hogwarts life. The time during the summer he had spent going to raves was a time when he was free. Free from obligations, free from Voldemort, free from the Wizarding World, and he didn't want to mix that with his Hogwarts life where he was the Boy-Who-Lived, a savior. If he let his attraction to Draco become more he wouldn't be keeping his two worlds separate, and he wasn't sure he wanted to mix them.

He sighed again. He couldn't just be normal could he? Reaching down to the side of the bed he picked up his wand that lay on a pile of his clothes. Casting a quiet _Tempus_ he saw that it was half an hour until breakfast. "Damn," he muttered and threw his legs over the side of the bed, pushing the covers off and sitting up. Running a hand through his black hair he turned around and shook the blond beside him.

"Draco," he called softly, shaking the boy gently. There was no response at first and Harry tried again. He watched as dark blond lashes fluttered slightly before opening to reveal stormy grey eyes. He briefly thought the grey eyes looked a little more awake then they should but dismissed it as he remembered what time it was. "Draco, we have about half an hour before breakfast starts," he said and sat back up, getting off the bed. He didn't notice the look Draco was giving him as his back was turned to the blond at the moment.

Draco rose from the bed and ran a hand softly over his stomach with a look of wonder on his face. Shaking his head he stretched and threw another odd look at Harry's back. Then what the black haired boy said caught up to him. "What, half an hour!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. Harry turned around and nodded his head. He had a bemused looked on his face. "I have so little time to get ready," Draco groaned before rushing out of the room. Harry watched him go and shook his head. Then he sighed in frustration as he realized that he didn't have his school books. A thoughtful look crossed his face and he looked up at the ceiling.

"Dobby?" he called out hesitantly, not sure if it would work. There was a pop and looking down he saw the house elf looking up at him expectantly.

"Yes Harry Potter, sir?" the house elf asked.

"Uh yeah," Harry said looking bemused once again. "Could you go up to the tower for me and grab my school bag? It's on the floor by my trunk," Harry asked, deciding he could use cleaning charms on his uniform for today. "And make sure no one sees you and asks any questions," he added as an afterthought. Dobby nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Anything for you Harry Potter sir!" he squeaked before disappearing with a pop. Harry sighed and sat back on the bed. He could hear the shower running and had a brief image of Draco, wet and naked in the shower with water sluicing down his body. He shook his head again to banish the image. Dobby popped back in holding Harry's school bag in his small hands. "Here you is Harry Potter. No one sees me either Harry Potter sir," Dobby said proudly as he held out the bag.

"Thanks Dobby and don't tell anyone I wasn't in my room, okay?" Harry replied as he took the bag and sat it on the floor. "It's very important that you tell no one Dobby."

""Harry Potter has Dobby's word that Dobby will say nothing," the house elf said, and nodded his head with a serious look on his face.

"Thanks, that will be all Dobby,' Harry said and Dobby nodded once more before disappearing. Harry chuckled a bit and set about casting cleaning charms on his uniform and himself. He began to change quickly and was just buttoning up his school shirt when Draco walked in with a nothing but a towel around his waist. Harry stopped and stared at the sight as the blond walked over to his wardrobe and took out his clothes. Harry realized he was muttering to himself, and he strained his hearing to catch what he was saying.

"I can't believe I woke up so late…my hair will have to be done quickly. I only hope it'll be as perfect as usual," the blond muttered as he pulled his boxers on under the towel before taking the towel off and dropping it to the floor. He then pulled on his uniform pants and shirt making sure they were impeccable. Harry snorted a laugh which caught Draco's attention and he turned and stared at Harry shocked. Harry pushed the image of an almost naked Draco from his mind.

"I'm heading out so it doesn't draw any attention," Harry said and he was embarrassed to realize his voice sounded a bit strained. He was even more embarrassed to realize he was half hard, but grateful for the robe that covered him.

"Yeah I'll see you later," Draco said slightly breathless from rushing around. Harry nodded and picked up his bag and walked from the room behind Draco who was heading towards the bathroom. He had resumed muttering about his hair. Harry shook his head and swung his invisibility cloak around him. He left the room closing the portrait behind him. With a sigh he began making his way towards the Great Hall. As he walked he thought about what had happened that morning. He had been hanging around Draco a lot since they had become friends, and obviously he was starting to notice things about his friend. He never noticed anything about Ron and Hermione or any of his other friends but he was noticing things about Draco.

_Maybe I need to stop hanging around him so much before I do something stupid like kiss him or something,_ Harry thought. He took time to digest that thought and wondered if maybe he cut back on how much he hung out with Draco than maybe his sudden attraction to the blond would fade. He thought about his time at the raves. There no one had cared if you were straight, gay or bisexual since a lot of people had been anyway. There he had been able to let himself relax and experience things he probably wouldn't have given a second thought too. He had been a whole other person then; wild and free and uninhibited. Here at Hogwarts, in the Wizarding World really, he had expectations and he didn't think people expected him to be bisexual.

He wanted Draco, he would admit it if only to himself, but he wasn't prepared to mix his two worlds together. Here he was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived and straight. There he was just Harry; another teen among a mass of teenagers looking for a good time. Besides, he doubted Draco would want him anyway. With a silent agreement he decided that he would stay away from Draco for a bit, and let the attraction fade some. He would try not to think about what had happened that morning. He only hoped it worked.

* * *

After Harry left Draco stood in front of his bathroom mirror combing through his blond locks and thinking. He was thinking back to that morning as he lay in bed. He didn't think Harry had actually noticed he was awake as the black haired boy had nuzzled into his neck and ran his hand over his stomach, but Draco had been. He had felt Harry spooned behind him with his arms wrapped around him and had lain perfectly still so as not to alert the other to his actual state of consciousness. 

Combing his hair one more time so it fell around his ears he left the bathroom to gather his things for classes. He was still a little shocked about this morning. At first he had thought that Harry may be dreaming, and just seeking out warmth but when the other had pulled back so slowly and carefully he knew that Harry must have been more awake then he thought. It had felt good to be held like that, and Draco wasn't sure if it was because of Harry, the boy he had become attracted to, because it was another warm body pressed against his and he that he was a hormonal teenager, or because he was held so little growing up. He pulled on his school robe and grabbed up his bag. Without a second glance he left his room and began making his way to the Great Hall.

He was confused and didn't like it. He was attracted to Harry and wouldn't mind starting something with him, he knew that, and he was pretty sure Harry was at least physically attracted to him. But would the raven haired boy want him? That was the question and Draco didn't know the answer. His nerves felt frazzled from his confusing morning, and he was mildly agitated about it. He didn't like this confusion and he cursed Harry for setting in upon him. He decided to not think about it right now and to save it for later when he could sit down and properly analyze what happened. With a decisive nod he continued his walk to the Great Hall.

* * *

Both boys found that not thinking about it was harder than they had anticipated. Through almost every class, especially the ones where the other was attending they had thought about that morning though they didn't know the other was thinking about it. Harry had thought about what it felt like to wake up with another person, a warm body by his that didn't leave him cold afterwards like it had been with Cho. He had drifted off into thoughts of Draco; Draco in the shower, Draco with nothing but a towel on, Draco in his arms, and the images that went with all of those thoughts weren't helping any. He had found himself incredibly aroused throughout most of the day, and had had to resort to thinking of non-arousing things to help him. It didn't help that whenever he saw the blond he would start to think about those things again. He had found himself staring at Draco's lips during some classes and had gotten points taken away for his inattention. It had only resolved Harry even more to stay away from Draco for awhile. 

Draco, too, found himself in the same predicament. He had spent much of the day thinking back on that morning, and whenever he did it seemed as if his back would warm up and throb as if someone was actually there behind him, pressed up against him. His stomach tingled as if Harry's hand was still there, caressing it. It had led to many an embarrassing moment for him. When he saw the boy in class he would find himself staring at those tanned hands as they went about their business. Those tanned hands that had, just that morning, been caressing his stomach softly, and smoothing over the clothed area. Harry's hands were big with long fingers and Draco had spent one class watching as the fingers curled around his wand – which only led him to even dirtier thoughts. He had never noticed his hands before but now he was noticing them every time Harry was in the same room. It was disconcerting as it disturbed his concentration in classes.

And the preoccupation of both didn't go unnoticed by their friends. Hermione, always perceptive had noticed Harry's lack of attention all day, and had informed Ron who – as clueless as he is sometimes – noticed also. His eyes had been glazed over, the look in them far away as though he was seeing something no one else could. He seemed to be deep in thought all day and not about the school work either. Both Ron and Hermione had noticed it but whenever they questioned Harry he would brush them off with an excuse of some kind.

The same thing was with Draco's friends. Blaise, Greg and Vince – who weren't as stupid as everyone thought – had noticed the blonds obviously occupied thoughts. He had also had a glazed look to his eyes, and when they had asked they had received an easy dismissal or a snapped statement. After a threat of being hexed they had wisely kept their mouths shut about the whole thing. But it had been an interesting day for both parties, unknown to the other.

* * *

His godfather wanted to talk to him tonight. He had asked (more like demanded) that Draco come by his classroom an hour after dinner, and Draco was dreading the meeting. He knew his godfather had noticed his inattention today even though he hadn't had his class. Severus made it his priority to make sure Draco was okay. He knew his past with his father and strove to be there for him, Draco knew, when and as much as he could. So when his godfather had sent him a note to come visit him he had immediately known it was because Severus had noticed his preoccupation. 

He cursed himself for not being able to hide it better, and he cursed Harry for making him so preoccupied. He was walking towards his godfather's room after taking a quick fly around the pitch. He had his Nimbus 2001 hung over his shoulder as he walked towards his destination. Reaching his destination he knocked firmly on the door twice before walking into the room. Severus sat at his desk, a stack of papers in front of him and a quill in his hand. Draco closed the door behind him and walked across the room.

"Draco," Severus greeted, not even looking up from what he was doing. Draco leant his broom against a desk and sat on top of the desk next to it.

"So Severus," Draco drawled looking at the man. "What did you want?" _Like I don't know already,_ Draco thought suppressing an eye roll.

Severus glanced up at the blond, a sarcastic smile twisting his lips. "Would you care to guess?" Even his tone dripped sarcasm. He quirked an eyebrow and gave a derisive snort. "Care to tell me what had you so preoccupied today? Even teachers tend to gossip Draco, and I've been hearing that you have been distracted in classes today."

Draco suppressed a sigh. "I've had something catch my interest lately and today it just caught more than usual," Draco replied.

"Really," Severus drawled out the word. "What has caught your interesting?" There was a slight tone of doubt in the silky voice, but Draco was prepared for this.

"Something to do with potions actually that has got me sidetracked," Draco said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "It nothing important really just a potion I've read about that seems interesting." Severus looked interested and Draco smirked inwardly.

"What potion?" Severus asked, his work momentarily forgotten.

"Penitus Sensus," Draco answered. "It's a potion like Veritaserum only instead of making a person tell the truth it makes a person identify their inner feelings," and just like that Draco was able to distract his godfather. They spent the next hour talking about the potion and everything to do with it. It also took his mind off of Harry for awhile and that was a plus after having spent the majority of the day thinking about him.

He left the potions classroom as it was nearing curfew and made his way back to his room. He was exhausted as he walked into the room. Between his new problems with his attraction to Harry and keeping his godfather's curiosity at bay, keeping attentive in classes and keeping the Slytherin mask in play as best as he can he was growing severely weary. He knew he hadn't spent much time among the Slytherins this year but he tried so he didn't drag to much attention to himself. He sighed as he walked into his bedroom and changed clothes. After changing he got into bed, pulling the covers up around him. He tried to ignore the fact that the bed seemed empty and cold, convincing himself that one night with Harry in his bed, pressed up against him meant nothing. He was just seeking a warm body, any warm body.

_I just need to fuck someone that's all or get fucked by someone,_ Draco thought drowsily as he began to drift off to sleep, exhaustion finally claiming him.

* * *

The next week went by with Harry doing as he promised himself he would do. He basically ignored Draco and hadn't made one move to try and meet him. But it was taking its toll on him. He realized he missed the blond, and not just because of the attraction. No, he missed the times where they would sit and talk about things; what they thought about the world and whatnot. Even the times when they would just sit in companionable silence, staring into the fire, lost in thought. He missed it all. And seeing the blond in classes wasn't helping even. He never thought there would be a day where he would miss Draco Malfoy, but lo and behold he did, and the feeling wasn't pleasant. His was no longer just preoccupied either, oh no, he was also feeling definitely sadder about the whole lot of things going on. 

It was the following Monday, six days since the last time Harry had talked to Draco. It was longer then they normally went since Harry tried to hang out with the blond at least every three days. He was now sitting up in his bed in his dorm, curtains closed with a spell around his bed. It was well past midnight but Harry couldn't sleep, again. He had his journal set on his knees that were drawn up almost to his chest. The pen lay idly in his hand as he stared at the blank page.

_**March 17, 1997**_

**_Okay so maybe I made a hasty decision in deciding to avoid Draco for a while. It's been six days since I last talked to him, and as much as I am loathe to admit it I miss him. I didn't think avoiding him would be such a pain for me but it is. I want my blond back! He's not really mine as he doesn't belong to me or anything, and I don't know why I just referred to him as MY blond but I want him back. _**

**_I've been such a prat and I know it. Draco has tried to catch my attention, make me notice him. He even sent me a note asking me to come and visit him. I've ignored it all. I'm a first class prat, and I know it. I think I'm going to meet him tomorrow and sort all this out. I only hope that he accepts my apology. I've been mean to him I really have, and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't forgive me. Draco doesn't like to be ignored and not just because people in general don't like to be ignored. He told me once that being ignored reminded him too much of his home life with his mother and father (before Lucius went to Azkaban that is). So that makes me feel even more like a great prat._**

_**Hermione and Ron have been suspicious of my behavior, especially my distractedness that day after the morning incident with Draco. I've made sure not to stare at him too much or for too long in the case that it gives something away. Hermione would figure it out quicker than Ron, but still I don't want them to know, not yet anyway. I'll deal with that disaster when in comes. But, yeah, I've been watching Draco and I notice all the little things about him even more than before, like my clarity of him has sharpened with the admittance of my attraction for him. **_

**_When he's annoyed about something he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and narrows his eyes. When he's concentrating on something he tends to suck on his bottom lip until it's all red and swollen, and then run his thumb along the abused flesh. Yes, I've noticed all this. So its time I stop being a jackass and start talking to Draco again. Hopefully he'll forgive me._**

**_Onto another point – whether delightful or not I haven't really decided – is that I never got to hear Draco's story about his experience with another guy. I'm interested in this bit of information for more than one reason. Hopefully, if Draco forgives me he'll tell me about it. _**

Harry looked at what he read and sighed. He really hoped Draco would forgive because he would hate to lose a friend who understood him so well. While Ron and Hermione understand the old him – the one who still believed everything was so black and white – Draco understood him now. He understood the whole grey concept and Harry need someone like that. Closing the book he rose from the bed and went to his trunk. Taking the locking and warding charms off he put it in the bag he didn't use for his school books. His hand brushed something cold and smooth and he froze instantly recognizing it. He hesitated before pulling his empty hand back. He made his way to the bed and got back in, relocking and silencing the curtains.

He hadn't had the urge to cut in a while. It struck him at odd times, and he would crave the release only the sharp blade could give him. Sometimes something triggered it, like memories and little reminders. And sometimes he felt so apathetic, so empty that he wanted to make sure he could still feel. But lately he hadn't had the urge to slice open his flesh, at least nothing so intense to warrant it. He had little burst where he would scratch at his arms, tearing open scabs and old wounds until he bled just a little. But he hadn't felt the need for more than that. Sighing he pulled the covers up around him and turned to lay on his stomach. He wasn't tired, too used to his nocturnal habits unless exhausted to sleep but he figured he could try.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was frustrated and angry. Since that morning he had woke up with Harry he had gone from distracted and thoughtful to frustrated and angry. After that first day he had gone and done what he had thought he needed. He had shagged Tracey Davis, a sixth year Slytherin girl but got little satisfaction from it. He knew he was more partial to males than females, and then decided to have a go with some attractive and competent seventh year boy. It had been more fulfilling than sleeping with Tracey and he had forgotten about the 'Harry Problem' for a while. 

But then he realized that Harry was ignoring him. Sometimes they would share secret little glances of amusement if they found something funny while in the same class. During the next potions class the day after the morning they woke up together they had been paired together which was a usual occurrence. What hadn't been a usual occurrence – at least since they had become friends – even through the act they put on was Harry's rigid poster as he stood a noticeable distance from Draco and his somewhat short tone and reluctant behavior to be around him. To anyone else it wouldn't have looked odd, but to someone who knew Harry they would have been able to tell the difference. And Draco could tell.

It had frustrated him for more than one reason. He had realized and grudgingly admitted to himself that he missed the git's attention towards him. It wasn't until the third day of not being acknowledged by the black haired boy that Draco sucked up his pride and sent a note for Harry to come by his room to talk. It was like normal where they would sit and wax philosophical or just enjoy companionable silence. But Harry hadn't come. And that was where Draco's anger began. He didn't appreciate being ignored and that was what was happening. He had tried to catch Harry's attention the next day, threw a couple insults at the Gryffindor. Nothing too harsh was said but enough to rile the other into noticing him again. It had only worked a bit because while Harry acknowledge him at last he had done so shortly before walking off.

By then Draco was beyond pissed. He didn't understand Harry's problem, and it was really starting to tick him off. But most of all he missed the discussions they would have, the debates they would have over things. Harry was smart, and given half a chance could come up with decent arguments and points to theories for things. The other boy gave Draco things to think about never trying to change his mind, but giving him points and angles he never considered, and from a perspective he wasn't accustomed to. And Draco missed that along with his friend.

_Damn you Potter,_ Draco thought not for the first time that week as he sat in his chair in front of the fireplace in his rooms. _Damn you for getting to me so much._ But he had a feeling that he got to Harry just as much, and that thought pleased him even as he glanced in sad bitterness at the couch the lithe body was usually sprawled on. His lips twisted into a bitter smile and he wasn't sure why he felt the sudden tightness in his chest. Or he did and wouldn't acknowledge it just as he wouldn't acknowledge the fact that he hadn't talked to Harry in six days.

He felt a wave a sadness encompass him and looked back to the fire, as the feeling seemed to settle bone-deep in him. _Damn you Harry for making me feel this way,_ he thought and the sadness that was in him seemed to echo through his thoughts.

* * *

It was the next day and Harry had summoned all his courage for what he was about to face. He had skipped dinner and had waited in an unobtrusive corner opposite the Great Hall for dinner to end. He was under his invisibility cloak and leaning against the wall with his back pressed to the cool stone. He checked his watch and sighed, looking back to the doors. Dinner was almost over and he was hoping his plan worked. 

After a few minutes the doors opened and a rush of student started coming out. Harry waited and watched looking for the familiar blond hair. After a moment he saw Draco coming out of the Hall and waited for the blond to come his way. As Draco neared him Harry took a deep breath and grabbed onto his arm. Draco jerked but Harry got close enough and whispered, "Dismiss your friends and follow me." Draco looked a trifled annoyed and looked as if he would ignore Harry altogether but made his dismissal with a cool excuse and followed the direction his sleeve was being tugged,

Harry was glad Dumbledore hadn't been around because that would have just caused unwanted problems. He led Draco away from the crowd of students and had him follow him until they reached the fourth floor and reached an unused classroom. Once both were inside Harry took off his cloak and cast locking and silencing charms on the door. He turned around and was confronted by a cold looking Draco. Harry barely held himself from cringing. _This is your fault,_ he reminded himself sternly, and took a deep breath.

"Draco…I'm sorry for being such a prat this week. It just that, well…" Harry trailed off and ran a hand over the back of his neck. He didn't think telling Draco 'Oh well you see I felt the need to grope you whenever I saw you after that morning, you know, the one where I stayed in your room overnight?' would go over so well. Where had all his pre-thought of words gone?

"You just what Potter?" Draco snapped glaring at him. Harry grimaced at the venom in his tone when he said his name. He hadn't heard it in so long. "You just don't want to talk to me anymore? You just figured that I wasn't someone who you wanted to be around? You just what!" Draco shouted.

"I just freaked out, okay!" Harry shouted back glaring at Draco. "I had fucking noticed it before, but it only really hit home that morning we woke up together. I'M FUCKING ATTRACTED TO YOU AND IT FREAKED ME OUT!" Harry screamed. He had stalked closer to Draco, standing toe to toe with the blond. "It was in that moment I realized that I might want you for more than a friend and it I didn't want it to happen."

Draco, who looked mildly surprised at his words, went back to glaring at him. "Why because I'm Draco Malfoy and better for nothing then being your friend, or maybe just because you don't like guys even though you've done stuff with them?" Draco asked. "WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN HARRY, HUH!" Draco yelled back into the other's face.

Harry didn't say anything instead he looked at Draco intensely before stepping forward and crushing his lips to the blond's, wrapping his arms around the other's waist. Draco made a surprised squawk and he struggled a bit but Harry held on and continued to kiss him. It was only lips against lips but Harry was determined. Draco finally stopped struggling and pressed his lips firmly back. Harry nipped at the blond's bottom lip before gliding his tongue slowly across it. A small moan came from Draco who parted his lips. Harry slid his tongue into Draco's mouth, over the other's tongue and the top of his mouth. The kiss was hot and sloppy, and Harry could taste the pumpkin juice Draco had drunk for dinner and, distantly, what he had eaten. Harry found it glorious to finally be kissing those soft pink lips that had been taunting him.

Draco was pleasantly surprised by the kiss. He wasn't sure at first though, and had struggled to break free. But his resolve broke; he had wanted to kiss Harry for a while now, and he began kissing back. And it was wonderful, a bit sloppy from the suddenness of it and his bit of struggle no doubt but wonderful all the same. He swept his tongue back over Harry's and wound his arms around the other boy's shoulders, leaning into the other's body.

Harry began to ease off the kiss, drawing his tongue back slowly from its twisting dance with Draco's. He nipped gently at Draco's bottom lips, then clamped his lips around it and sucked lightly before pulling back fully. He opened his eyes and looked at Draco who was looking back at him and sighed. "It's a long and probably stupid reason why I didn't want to be attracted to you," Harry said finally, his voice soft.

"Start at the beginning then," Draco said just as softly, his tone firm and stepped back from Harry who let him and sat on the worn teachers desk in the room. He kept his eyes fixed on the black haired boy in front of him.

Harry sighed again and ran a hand through his messy hair. "It's like this," he said after a moment of silence. "I have no problem with being attracted to another guy, for fuck's sake, I did a lot with other guys this summer. No, that wasn't the problem.

During the summer when I went to those raves I felt free, you see. From the magical world, from that Boy-Who-Lived shit, from the pressure and all the fame; it was wonderful. When there I could do what I wanted without anyone saying anything. I kissed guys and girls, I got and gave hand jobs and blow jobs from guys, and I slept with a girl I had met during the summer. It was great, liberating, I guess you could say," Harry paused and a wistful look came over his face. Then his whole face turned back to looking sad.

"But then that freedom couldn't last forever could it? No, no it couldn't. I had to come back to Hogwarts, to the fame and the stares and the bloody pressure of being the Boy-Who-Lived," he spat, and his tone was bitter and resigned. "When I came back I tried not to think about it because it hurt to think about the freedom and fun I had to give up. That didn't stop me from discreetly checking out guys among girls now and then but I didn't make any more of it. Well, not the guys at any rate," Harry said thoughtfully with a scowl on his face.

"Then I began to realize I was getting attracted to you but I always just brushed it aside. It didn't really hit me fully until that morning after I stayed the night, and I didn't want it to happen because – to me anyway – I didn't want to mix my two...lives, worlds? Anyway I didn't want to mix them together. My Hogwarts life and the time I spent at the raves, they were mine and totally separate from each other. If I admitted my attraction to you and made a move to do something about it I would be mixing the two. I have very little that's mine and I wanted something that was just mine.

I know it doesn't make sense, and it probably sounds stupid but that was the reason." Harry concluded and looked at Draco. Draco was looking back at him, brow furrowed and a thoughtful look on his face.

"I can understand I think," Draco said finally. "As the Boy-Who-Lived you have very little that's your own, and it's only understandable that you would want to keep something that wasn't tainted by that to yourself, and untainted. But Harry," Draco continue and looked at him intensely. "It would be secret, and it's not like we're confessing our undying love to each other or anything. We're just attracted to each other, why not just go with that for now?" Draco asked reasonably.

Harry stayed silent for a long time thinking it over. Draco was right in what he said. They weren't professing words of love to each other just a mutual attraction and it would be a secret. Only he and Draco would know so what was the problem? Harry sighed and ran both hands through his hair in frustration releasing a small growl.

"Harry?" Draco asked, his voice breaking Harry from his inner thoughts and snapping his attention back to the here and now. Draco was looking at him with an eyebrow raised, a slightly puzzled look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry said shaking his head slightly. "Your right though, about what you said. We're attracted to each so why not just…you know, go with it?" Harry replied waving his hand around vaguely. Draco smirked at him, rose from the desk and walked towards him.

"Good," the blond said simply and leaned in to kiss him again, arms wounding around his shoulders. Harry sighed into the kiss, his arms encircling Draco's waist and kissed back. _Its okay,_ he thought as he twisted his tongue with the blond's. _Maybe a little mixing wont be so bad. Just enjoy yourself for once Harry!_

* * *

After spending a bit more time in that abandoned classroom Harry and Draco left heading their separate ways with a promise from Harry to come by tomorrow. Draco walked back to his room in a slight daze. He hadn't expected things to go like that when he had heard Harry first whisper in his ear about following him. He had, admittedly, only expected one of two outcomes. Either Harry would finish their hard earned friendship or he would continue it and things would go back the way they had been. He hadn't expected a confession of attraction and lots of kissing to ensue. But the results had been wonderful all the same. They had decided to explore the attraction not quite giving a name to what they were, and it was fine with Draco. They weren't serious about each other, but the attraction was there and very much mutual. 

And Harry was a much better kisser than he had anticipated. He had expected a shy and awkward kiss not a hot and a bit demanding mouth against his. It amazed and excited him and he couldn't wait to kiss the boy again because, Merlin, could the boy kiss. _Obviously his summer at those rave things were really informative and helpful,_ Draco thought with a smirk as continued his way back to his room.


	18. Lust, Enigmas and Meeting with a Dark Lo

AN: Hey everyone! I know, I know; I'm a little late on an update. I'm sorry girls and guys, but I was wrapped up in doing a few things. Sorry. Also, I've seen tons of new reviewers and I am pleased. This story has 133 reviews! Truthfully? That's more than what I ever thought I'd get. I was and still am a bit, very self-conscious about my writing and my stories, especially this one since it's my baby. But I believe I'm worrying for nothing because out of 133 reviews I have recieved NOT ONE bad review. I was shocked to discover this, but it is true. So thank you all out there who are giving my story a chance.

Now, without futher ado I present chapter 18 of Razorblade Connection to you all!

* * *

Chapter 18: Lust, Enigmas and Meeting with a Dark Lord 

After that night where they had kissed things eased back into the flow of their friendship with the added twist of the now acknowledged attraction between them. Though they spent no more or less time together than before, the times that they did were no less intense than that first time in the abandoned classroom. Though they hadn't actually labeled what they are they both knew they weren't anything serious.

On some nights over the following week Harry would stay the night in Draco's rooms, sleep in Draco's bed curled up around each other. On one of those nights Draco had awoken from a nightmare and Harry had awoken and began to comfort the blond. After a few minutes of trembling and ragged breathing Draco had calmed down, and Harry had asked about the nightmare he had had. After a moment of hesitation and a bout of stubbornness on Harry's part Draco had caved and told about his dream. Harry had been there for the other boy, kissed him thoroughly, and they had slowly settled back into sleep.

Things between them were comfortable; they kissed, groped and teased each other whenever they were alone, and would pass each other looks during the day when no one was looking. They spent as much time together during the following week after the kiss as possible. One memorable day would have been that Sunday.

**Flashback**

Harry walked from Gryffindor Tower with a scowl on his face; he'd just had a hell of a time getting past Ron and Hermione who had put up a bit of a stubborn front to find out where he was going and why they couldn't come. He was extremely glad he'd remembered to put the locking charms on his trunk. Glancing over his shoulder for a moment he sighed before continuing on his way. It was Sunday afternoon and he had asked Draco to meet him in an abandoned classroom. He was already five minutes late and he hoped Draco would still be waiting for him. He didn't hurry, but kept his casual pace. As he went he occasionally checked around to see if he was being followed; mainly by Ron and Hermione, but also for others. He made his way to the floor he needed and then walked down the corridor, turned right, and continued on. He looked around as he approached his destination, and satisfied that no one was around he slipped into the room with a sigh.

"You're late," Draco said the second he stepped in. Harry rolled his eyes at the blond and quickly began to cast locking and silencing charms.

"Shut up you prat I had to get past Ron and Hermione again," Harry shot back looking at the blond with slight annoyance. He walked over towards the huge teacher's desk the Slytherin was sitting on and sat down next to him.

Draco smirked at him. "So the watchdogs are at it again?" he asked innocently. Harry gave him a stern look, but his lips were twitching as if he was trying not to smile. After a moment chuckles began to escape the black haired boy.

"Don't call them that," Harry said after his mirth had died down. "Besides aren't Crabbe and Goyle the same?"

"No," Draco shook his head looking mildly amused. "They don't actually care about me like Weasley and Granger do you. At least I don't think they do. They don't say much," Draco finished with a shrug.

"Maybe because you're constantly talking and they can't get a word in," Harry said cheekily, grinning slyly at the blond.

"Oi! Potter, are you saying I talk too much?" Draco asked as he turned towards Harry fully, a playful gleam to his eyes.

"Maybe, maybe not Malfoy." Was the amused reply from Harry. Draco gave him a smirk before pouncing on him, straddling his waist and diving in for a kiss. Their lips crashed together, moving against one another in slow, soft movements. Draco brushed his tongue tip against Harry's bottom lip, and the Gryffindor parted his lips in welcome to the request. Draco swept his tongue into the other's mouth; a slow glide of velvet heat mapping out a warm cavern. He traced his tongue along the roof of Harry's mouth, against the ridges, and then twisted it with Harry's. Draco slipped his hands into Harry's soft hair, tugging lightly at the raven strands.

Harry's arms came up and around the blond's lithe body, wrapping around his waist and pulling them closer together. Draco nipped gently at Harry's bottom lip as he ground his hips downwards; they're half hard lengths meeting. They both let out breathy moans at the contact as the kiss became more intense, fiercer, and more passionate. Harry bucked up slightly, moved his hands to wrap around each of the blond's hips and pulled him down grinding upwards. The kiss broke as Draco pulled back, throwing his head back with a moan that was reciprocated by the boy beneath him. Draco rocked his hips back and forth; gave a small circular motion and rocked again, all the while his hands tugged lightly at Harry's hair.

"Mmm, Draco," Harry gasped as he thrust upwards. Moving one hand from Draco's hip he put it to the back of the Slytherin's neck, and pulled him down into another kiss. Mouths crashing together, teeth click slightly, they kissed fiercely, tongues dancing in heated rhythm as they thrust against one another. Their hard cocks brushed through their trousers; heat and friction and pressure making a delicious combination to the two aroused boys. Harry's hand moved from Draco's neck down his back to cup one round, firm cheek. One hand on the blond's hip and the other on an arse cheek, and Harry was pulling Draco down against him as he thrust upwards.

Draco whimpered; the sound bubbling forth from his throat as he moved his mouth from Harry's and began scattering kisses down his jaw. He reached his neck and peppered it with kisses and licks before nibbling on the tanned flesh. Harry moaned at the treatment as he squeezed the cheek in his hand causing Draco to buck heavily against him and groan loudly. Latching onto a patch of skin on the Gryffindor's neck Draco sucked the area into his mouth then soothed it with his tongue. Harry gasped, took his hand off Draco's arse, and rolled them over. They were close to the edge of the desk but not in danger of falling off. Planting his hands either side of Draco's head he thrust down, grinding his achingly hard length into the blond's. Gasping harshly, Draco panted as Harry repeated the action.

"Harry," Draco moaned as the black haired boy dipped his head, and licked a broad strip along the pale throat. Draco threw his arms around Harry's neck as he writhed beneath him. Harry nuzzled into Draco's throat as their rhythm became more erratic. He could feel his orgasm approaching like an incoming tide rising from the sea in waves only to come crashing down on him. Thrusting down hard in ragged patterns once, twice, thrice he felt Draco stiffen under him before letting out a hoarse cry. Harry thrust against Draco a few more times before he stilled and came with a roughly hissed, "Fuck, Draco!" that he didn't even realize was in parseltongue.

He collapsed against Draco panting harshly, and he could hear the blond struggling to pull in breaths through tagged gasps in his ear. After a moment of silence aside from their harsh breathing Harry felt Draco shaking under him seconds before he heard him chuckling. Pulling back and looking down at the blond with confusion he quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

"Do you always speak Parseltongue when you come?" Draco asked with a smirk on his face. Harry's eyes widened and he groaned loudly before burying his head against the pale throat again. He chuckled and the vibrations reverberated through his chest which was flat against Draco's.

"Yeah, that's been known to happen occasionally," Harry muttered between chuckles. Draco heard and burst out laughing, shaking with his mirth which Harry could feel as he, too, laughed.

"What else do you do in parseltongue?" Draco asked taking hold of his wand and casting cleaning charms on both of them.

"Well," Harry began, pulling back to look at Draco's face. "You may find me ranting in parseltongue now and again, you never know which language I'll slip into when, ah, worked up." Harry grinned. Draco giggled, actually giggled before pulling Harry down into another kiss which lasted for long moments. Harry pulled back nipping the blond's bottom lip in the process before he slowly began to get off of Draco. Draco sat up and began to readjust, and smooth down his clothes as did Harry.

"You didn't seem bothered about it," Harry commented retaking his seat on the desk beside Draco.

Draco glanced over at him and gave him a smile. "Slytherins actually don't have the stereotype of 'if you're a Parselmouth you're evil' like other people do. It didn't bother me to hear it. Surprised the hell out of me in second year but didn't actually bother me. I had been amazed and envious that you got that ability," Draco replied with a shrug. Then he smirked. "Besides, it's bloody hot when not spoken with malicious inflection behind it."

"I've never spoken it with malicious inflection, at least not the times you've heard me," Harry said giving Draco a pointed look. "There's only one other Parselmouth I know."

Draco looked back at Harry with a blank expression on his face inwardly cursing himself for his slip up. They never discussed Voldemort around each other, at least very, very rarely since they had first called the truce. It was an awkward and tense topic, and Harry's intense green eyes weren't helping the matter. The silence stretched for another long, tense moment before Draco sighed.

"You know my Father's a sick and twisted bastard. Well in the summer after fourth year he made me view some of his memories in a pensieve; Death Eater meeting and revels from the first war, tons of them," Draco's voice had gone hollow and empty, and his eyes took on a far away almost haunted look. He didn't notice Harry's face hardening, and his eyes darkening in anger.

"I saw what they did during those meetings. They tortured and raped and killed! Somehow I had fooled myself into thinking that the Dark Lord just wanted to keep the different bloods separate, keep them from reproducing together. I foolishly led myself to believe that he meant segregation instead of genocide," Draco trailed off before shaking his head as if coming out of a trance. "That's where I heard it," he finished quietly, not looking at the raven haired boy.

A long, tense moment of silence followed. Finally, Draco looked up at the other and saw a mirthless smile on his lips that left his eyes empty and cold. Draco felt a shiver crawl up his spine at the look.

"Death Eater meeting aren't the most pleasant of things to watch," Harry said agreeably in a calm tone. He was thinking about some of the visions he had had that summer and in the beginning of the year. "They're vicious and ruthless, Death Eaters are. When I actually started thinking for myself I wondered if you Slytherins even knew what it meant to BE a Death Eater. Guess you finally understand." Harry finished with a quirk of his brow and a grim smile.

Draco stared at Harry having never scene this side of the many facets of Harry Potter. Draco was curious about when Harry saw a Death Eater meeting but didn't ask. They had been on this topic enough for one day, and he wasn't sure he was up for treading deeper. Especially if more of Harry's psyche was revealed. The Gryffindor was more complex than he had thought.

Instead he said, "I think you're right. I don't think most Slytherins understand the full scope of becoming a Death Eater. Merlin, I don't think I even understand the full concept." Draco muttered the last with a sigh. "Well that discussion killed any arousal I might have had left. Don't know about you," Draco commented lightly.

Harry's smile turned a little more genuine and he sighed. "Perfect way to get rid of a hard-on in a hurry," Harry nodded sagely. Draco gave him an odd look to which Harry just smirked. Draco shook his head.

_We are so bloody weird,_ Draco thought. "Was there another reason you had asked me here, or was it just so we could rut like bunnies?" Draco asked with a quirked brow.

Harry looked briefly confused before the expression cleared. "I need help for a bit of revenge on Cho," Harry replied. Draco grinned wickedly at him which Harry returned, and they dove into a discussion about pranks and revenge.

**End Flashback**

Two days after that meeting during breakfast Cho Chang had took a sip of her morning beverage, and soon found all her hair dropping from her head. She had shrieked and the Hall had erupted into chaos. During the chaos Harry had surreptitiously slipped his wand out, and incanted the spell he and Draco had discussed. And there in the middle of her bald head the words 'Cho the Hoe' appeared in blue writing. The students had a great laugh at the expanse of the Ravenclaw who had been crying about her hair, and the cruelty that was opposed upon her. Her drink had had a potion in it that Harry had sworn Dobby to never tell about, and to pour it into her cup which would cause temporary baldness that would grow back within the hour. The sight had been hilarious and he had, for once, been glad for Colin and his habit of carrying around his camera. He remembered Cho having fainted after awhile from shock he supposed. He had felt much better after that episode though the looks Dumbledore gave him as he was leaving the Hall for his first class had been a bit disconcerting. Though some were suspicious of him being behind it no one had been blamed for it.

* * *

The room was filled with fumes from the bubbling, churning cauldrons that sat atop the work tables. Plumes of smoke rose from each; some in thick puffs and others in wispy tendrils. The plumes of smoke were a multitude of colors that rose to the ceiling, and blended in a larger cloud of swirling color. The only sounds in the room were that of the cauldrons of potions bubbling and popping occasionally, the crackle of the flames under them, and the slow and even breathing of its one occupant. The room was heavy with the smell of the potions being made, but its occupant wasn't bothered by it. 

Hovering over a cauldron of blue potion Severus stirred the contents clockwise slowly. The potion slowly began to lighten from a dark blue-black to a sky blue, and he stopped stirring. Adding the powered snake fangs he stirred the potion counter-clockwise exactly seven times watching as it turned a pastel blue. Satisfied, he lowered the flames so it would simmer, and left the work table. Briefly looking over each of the other cauldrons he nodded to himself, and walked from the room to his office. Sitting down at his desk he pulled out the papers he needed to grade, ink, and a quill. He set himself to work promptly on the stack of parchments. They were papers from his sixth year students. With a scowl he began to read over them, and set about grading them. Three Hufflepuffs, four Ravenclaws, and two Gryffindors papers – all sneered and insult ridden – later, and Severus came across his godson's paper. Pausing, a thoughtful look came over his face.

He was constantly keeping an eye out for Draco, and his well being ever since he had discovered Lucius's abuse of the boy. He had seen the changes the boy slowly went through over the last few years. He saw the subtle changes in Draco's personality and demeanor that showed that he was changing, but Severus Snape didn't think a person could go through such abuse, and _not_ change. He watched as Draco drew into himself little by little, watched as the depression and bitterness began to set in, and watched as he slowly drew away from his family. Hate for his Mother and hate and fear for his Father setting in, and replacing any pride and respect he had had. He saw it all happen even as Draco struggled to keep his mask in place. But he didn't think anyone else really _saw_ the changes that had taken place in Draco Malfoy. Severus had to sit back and watch it all, and he hated the fact that he had to. After having to patch up the blond so many times after a summer spent with his Father, after having to watch his godson as he sunk into depression, and after having to monitor the boy because he almost overdosed to escape his nightmares, Severus Snape was becoming weary, and wary of what else could happen to Draco. The Potions Master knew more than anyone – expect, perhaps, Draco himself – how much Lucius Malfoy broke his son.

Draco used to look up to his Father the way many witches and wizards looked up to Harry Potter, or even Albus Dumbledore. All Draco had ever wanted from Lucius was to know he had made his Father proud. But nothing his godson ever did seem to make Lucius proud. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what lengths of cruelty he tried to achieve Draco was never good enough for Lucius's taste. And Severus hated the man for that. When Lucius had ended up in Azkaban at the end of fifth year – no matter how short term in may end up being – he had been relieved for the break Draco would get. Narcissa may have been cold towards her son, but she had never laid a hand on him. So Severus was relieved for the time being while still in edge for the moment when he would get out of prison.

Staring contemplatively at Draco's paper Severus thought on the newest twist in things. Lately – Severus would guess starting a little after the Christmas break – his godson had seemed happier, more alive. Severus had watched the light that had dulled to almost non-existence slowly come back into stormy grey eyes. He had watched his godson slowly come back to him, and he didn't know the reason for it. He watched Draco, of course, and looked for anything that could be reason enough to liven the blond up.

He had found things that confused him and then made sense if logically looked at, and at the same time found nothing at all. The most obvious, but unbelievable thing would be the things he saw between Draco and Potter. Or the things he didn't see. The tension was easily recognizable even when they had come back for sixth year, and hadn't immediately started in on it. That was the same all up until Christmas break. While the tension didn't dissipate any it lessened, it seemed, and Severus could find no reason for it to. But then they didn't act differently, and he doesn't think Potter could be discreet enough if something _had_ changed between them.

Then there was the little glances he had caught between them, though neither seemed to show much emotion when they did. Neither Draco nor Potter showed any in those glances, and it caused Severus to wonder if he'd thought too much into it, and the incidents. But then the glances were too many to be coincidental, and then they were not as they were no more or less than before. Before Christmas break, before the end of fifth year Severus didn't know, but he knew there was a before.

The Potions Master scowled and quickly checked over Draco's paper – already knowing it would be perfect – and set it aside. He looked down and scowled harder because the next paper was Harry Potter's. Potter frustrated him to no end. The boy was an enigma and constantly too hard to read now, and he didn't like it. Potter Jr. was supposed to be like Potter Sr. was; rash, reckless, and easy to read since he wore his heart on his sleeve. He wasn't supposed to be so unreadable. It didn't fit in with his image of the insufferable Potter men, and he didn't like it because it messed up things with his image of Potter Jr.

Harry Potter was supposed to be exactly like James Potter had been. And he was, but not completely. While he broke rules and was rash and foolhardy he didn't wear his emotions for all to see. Not now anyway and Severus wondered if it was just this year – a new development – or it if had been there all along. He didn't like either answer because they could both mean things he didn't want to acknowledge. Because it would mean he had been wrong about Potter, and that didn't set will with him.

Severus clenched his jaw and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, weariness, pain he didn't know which. Harry Potter was one very frustrating puzzle. For example, there was the incident on February first. It could have been easily brushed off as the burst of accidental magic all growing witches and wizards had when emotional or stressed. Even frown witches and wizards tended to have them. But Severus Snape wasn't naïve enough to think that. And Albus's answers, while logical left questions unanswered, and Severus couldn't find much on why the brat's magic seemed forced, strained. There were few theories that seemed wholly impossible as an answer to this mystery, but a magical block seemed out of the question. Every magical person knew to place a block on a growing child's magic could be disastrous to the child. Recorded documents of such acts in history and the consequences were proof enough. And magical blocks were illegal for that sole purpose.

Sighing, Severus went over the parchment quickly, sneering at any right answers. Putting the paper aside he rose from his seat and headed back to his lab. He had potions to look after.

* * *

Hermione Granger had always prided herself on knowing the information needed in school, on knowing the pieces needed to solve the puzzles of the dangerous situations Harry always got into, and of knowing her friends. She knew when something was wrong with one of her friends; she knew when they needed help, and when they needed a good cuff round the ear. And Hermione knew there was something wrong with her friend Harry Potter. She had known Harry since first year and over the following years she though she had gotten to known him very well. She knew when he when he was angry, upset, sad, or anxious. She knew when he was in trouble, or in need of held just as well as she knew when he was keeping secrets. And Harry Potter was definitely keeping secrets. 

In the beginning of the year he had seemed fine if a bit depressed and subdued. But that was understandable; after all, he _had_ lost his godfather only about four months previously. He had seemed a bit wearier, a bit more subdued, but she couldn't see anything worse wrong with him. He seemed like any other person who was grieving over the death of a loved one. When Hermione had seen this she had decided to hold off talking to Harry about Sirius and to let him be until it looked like she would need to step in. at first it didn't seem like she would need as Harry had seemed to be coping fine. He smiled, and laughed, and seemed to be basically coping with his loss.

And then he started wanting to be along more. Excusing himself from his friends; he would slip off to someplace for hours on end to 'clear his mind', or 'be along' as he always said. That was when Hermione started to worry about her raven haired friends. Though he didn't act much different the constants wish to be alone, and away form his friends had her concerned. She had brought it up to Ron –concerned as she was- to see if there was anything going on with nightmares, or visions. But as far as Ron knew there wasn't, though that meant nothing when one knew silencing charms.

When she had inquired to her boyfriend about talking to Harry, Ron had been adamant that their friend needed space and time, and would come to them if need be. But she hadn't been sure. After Harry had skived off his classes that one day she had decided it was best to step in despite Ron's claims otherwise. She had confronted Harry thinking she could control the situation, get the information on Harry's sudden need for solidarity, and comfort her friend afterwards. But she hadn't been in control, and she hadn't comforted her friend, and she hadn't founded out why he sought solidarity. She'd only accomplished upsetting Harry and causing tension between them all. And her attempt to repair it only made things worse, not only between her and Harry, but between Harry and Ron too.

After that she had thought the things her best friend said and the things he didn't say, and decided to give him his space. She didn't like it, knowing he may be hurting and that she couldn't do anything about it, but she respected his wishes and stopped interfering. Thing began to ease back to normal after that for the three of them. Though still concerned about her friend she kept her worries to herself unless she talked about them with Ron. But then the need to be along increased if only slightly and he began disappearing more often. She'd wondered what could be so heavy on Harry's mind that he would talk to her about, or to Ron. She worried that something was wrong that he wasn't talking about, but yet he seemed so happy, so untroubled most of the time that she was confused on if she was right.

Then the incident on February first happened. She had tried to talk to him about it, but Harry had been so cold that she had given up, frustrated, and confused, and hurt. And then things with Cho started up again. Admittedly, she was wary of the girl at first, but was also happy that Harry may actually stop sulking and take interest in something. While she was happy about his interest in schoolwork increasing she was also even more eager to see him return to his old self. She had had hope that Cho would bring Harry out of his funk. Even though Harry had showed no real excitement or interest she had help out hope that at the very least Cho would distract him from whatever troubled him. She really hated being wrong.

Things with the Ravenclaw had gone so well at first, and then the girl turned out to be a completely evil bint. Hermione hadn't predicted so many things that came later. It was shocking seeing that article that day; not only for the fact was it another article on Harry, but the articles contents as well. She had been surprised to learn of her friend shagging the Ravenclaw; she and Ron hadn't even gone that far yet! But it was even more shocking to hall the pieces sink in. the girl had set it all up. She had seduced her friend only to claim a bit of fame and attention for herself even at the consequence of humiliating Harry. She _really_ hated being wrong.

Harry had vanished after leaving the Great Hall. They hadn't found him the rest of the day, not even a trace of him. Wherever he had gone it had been well and truly hidden from them. Then he showed up to class the next day as if nothing happened! They had walked into potions to find him sitting there calmly as if the day before had never occurred. But she'd been too relived to be angry at her friend at that moment. But the day seemed to be another one full of shock as he cut into Pansy Parkinson. Once recovered though Hermione wanted to know what was going on, and after being avoided all that day she had had enough!

When she and Ron had cornered Harry that night it had only gone slightly better than the last time they had confronted they're friend. To hear him use her words, though, from the previous year had been a shock, and it had made her feel bad for ever saying the words to being with. And then to hear his self-accusations about Sirius's death and the conviction with which they were said hadn't really shocked her as she had thought Harry would blame himself. Yes, she knew Harry had been reckless that night and rash in his stubborn decision to go to the Ministry, but she didn't think it could have been helped. Harry was a person with a big heart and he had – as long as she has known him – tended to let it, and his emotions rule him. It seemed like an instinctively Harry thing to do.

While the conversation hadn't ended the way she would have preferred she got a look into things a bit more. While she wasn't fond of the idea she had reluctantly agreed to give Harry his space, and not dig for information. She just wanted to help her friend, but she could see that she was doing more damage than good. She didn't want to distance him more than he already was. She wished she knew what was causing him to draw away from her and Ron, causing him to distance himself as he was now. She would help if she knew the problem, but she didn't know and Harry had made it abundantly clear that he want they're help.

Sitting in the library Hermione sat staring blankly as the book in her hand, quill held in a lax grip. Shaking her head quickly she tried to dispel her thoughts and focus on her charms work she had come to do, but it was hard. She was constantly thinking about her black haired friend and the distance that seemed to be growing between the three of them. She knew Ron was hurt by Harry's increased secrecy – though he was to 'male' as Hermione always thought exasperatedly – to admit it. Harry had become harder to read, an enigma really, and a puzzled she wasn't sure how to solve. Or even if she wanted to risk solving. Would it solve the problems between them, would it shorten the distance, or make it worse? Harry was unpredictable, even more so now than before.

She sighed. There was just too many 'what if's' to this than she was comfortable with, and she didn't like it. She was one who looked to books for information, but books weren't going to solve this problem. At least she didn't think it would. She sighed again and focused herself intently on her work, pushing thought of her friend and the problems there from her mind. She would work on her schoolwork no and worry about the enigma that is Harry Potter later.

* * *

The room was a large, rectangular shape with dark green wall and soft, black carpeting on the floor. It was softly lit by the two silver chandeliers that hung from the ceiling of the room; elegant and beautiful. In three corners of the room large snake statutes dominated in a beautifully sinister fashion, baring fangs as if ready to attack. In the upper left-hand corner a dark wood door was situated, closed. On the right side of the room on the wall a large depiction of the Dark Mark resided, adding to the dark beauty of the room. And in the middle of the room on obsidian five inch dais sat an ornate looking throne of black wood. And on that throne was the most feared wizard to date, Lord Voldemort. 

Around him stood several black robed, white masked figures with heads bowed as they stood in the presence of their Master. The room was blanketed in silence as Voldemort observed them. His red eyes watched them all with causal indifference for a moment longer.

"My loyal followers," the high, cold voice sliced through the silence. He scanned the people in the room with narrowed eyes the barked, "Severus, report!"

A robed figure stepped forward smoothly from the circle, kneeled and kissed the hem of the robes that trailed off the dais. Voldemort watched with eyes narrowed and guarded. He wasn't fully convinced yet that the Potions Master was loyal, and he was still highly suspicious.

"My Lord," Severus murmured as he stood, head still bowed. It had taken a lot of smooth talking an d prostrating on his part to even be welcomed – reluctantly – back in, but he was still considered suspicious and knew he had to tread carefully. "Dumbledore's negotiating with some hags over an alliance at the moment as well as some Veelas," Severus said. It was mostly true information as he and Albus had worked out. The hags were already on their side and some Veelas had already agreed to side with the Order.

Voldemort looked at his Death Eater for a long time before he spoke. "And the boy?"

Severus tilted his head to the side slightly before answering. "Still pitifully mourning his pathetic godfather and drowning in self-pity, grief and resentment. His friends have tried to comfort him, but from what I've seen he's pushing them away," he smirked, and it was only a bit forced. Voldemort nodded his head slowly, thoughtfully and smirked.

"Probably believes that by pushing those he cares about away he'll save them from harm," he sneered, red eyes shining maliciously. "Typical Gryffindor behavior, the fool! That's the wonderful thing about Gryffindors," he continued, flicking his eyes around at his gathering. "There's very little one must do to break them emotionally for they do the most damage themselves. Weak fools. Anything else Severus?" he was definitely a bit more pleased with his Death Eater, though still suspicious.

"No, my Lord," Severus murmured, bowing his head again. Voldemort scowled down at him. He caressed his wand before pointing it at the man.

"_Crucio_!" The scream rents the air of the room, sharp and shrill, and Voldemort smirks at the twisting, writhing figure. Finally he lifts the curse leaving the man panting and shaking and sweating on the floor. "You are close to Dumbledore Severus working in that school, I want more information!"

"Y-yes m-my L-lord," Severus said shakily, rising as steadily as possible from the floor.

"Very well," Voldemort said with a hard stare of crimson eyes. "Keep an eye on Potter and Dumbledore, and gather information for me Severus." His voice held demands in it as well as an undertone of a threat. It was also dismissive. Severus bowed again before turning and heading toward the door as steadily as possible. He knew he was in a precarious position with the Dark Lord and had to tread extremely carefully. That dismiss was of the meeting for HIM and not for his turn to give information. He only hoped nothing of importance is said.

Voldemort watched the Potions Master go with narrowed crimson eyes. It was best to keep the man at arms length for now until he was sure about his loyalties. Turning back to his followers he cast an eye over them imperiously. "Fenrir how're we doing with recruiting more werewolves?" A man with stepped forward and executed the normal formalities like Severus had before standing again.

"Besides the three reaming from my old pack I've come across another of about nine or ten who are still under ah, negotiations. Besides them I've been able to recruit four others who shall be here for the next meeting," Fenrir Greyback said. Voldemort nodded his head slightly, very much satisfied with the results. Seven werewolves already willing and a pack of possibly ten who are considering an alliance; Voldemort was very much pleased with the budding outcome.

"Good. You keep with negotiations and I don't care how you do it just get them on out side." Fenrir nodded before stepping back. "Bryant, how is your assignment coming along?" he continued easily, watching as a tall, broad shouldered young man stepped forward. After formalities Bryant stood back and bowed his head in respect.

"Excellent my Lord," Bryant Macnair stated with a muted self-satisfaction. "We should be able to begin weaving the ward curses into wards within the next two months at the most after a trial test period. Two of the curses are ready to be used now though; tested and perfected." Voldemort looked down on the young man with a small hint of satisfaction in his red eyes. The young man was – roughly – no more than ten months out of school and was already showing great promise among his followers. He was an expert spell creator, especially of curses, and he had asked the young man to create a few curses to weave into wards and to use in battle. And Bryant Macnair was succeeding in both wonderfully.

"Splendid young Macnair," he said, and his words were a little more serpentine than before. "Keep me updated on your progress." Bryant nodded with a small pleased smile on his face as he stepped back. "Narcissa," his serpentine drawl and red eyes went to said woman. "I do hope your assignment has reaped better results than your husband's did when I had given him _his_ task." His voice was less warm than it had been with Macnair Jr. – if it could _ever_ be called warm – as he was still quite upset with Lucius's failure.

"I assure you my Lord that I do not hold Lucius's incompetence. I have succeeded in my mission and you now have two powerful and individually gifted Sinclairs' on your side," Narcissa said smoothly.

Voldemort's eyes widened fractionally and if he had possessed eyebrows they would have been lifted. Truth be told he hadn't expected the Lady Malfoy to succeed. Not because he didn't want her too, but more because he knew the reputation of the Sinclair family. While they were open to many things and held little prejudices for a pureblood family, they weren't necessarily 'open' to his ideas. But they held power, power that he had wished to have in his ranks of Death Eaters. When he had set the task to Narcissa he had expected one of two outcomes. Either she would fail, or she would succeed gaining him one ally from the family. The fact that she had succeeded and gotten him two allies was a pleasant surprise.

"Go on, tell me about the two you've recruited," Voldemort demanded.

"Yes my Lord. They are brother and sister, and during my stay in France with them I learned that they are from the current Lord Sinclair's uncle's side of the family. When I was feeling them out to find potential allies for you these two approached me. They commented about knowing my husband's allegiance and stated their wish to join. The youngest – Audrey Sinclair – is powerful magically as well as being a gifted seer. Plus she is very skilled in all forms of divination and astral projection. I had her give me proof first, of course, but she proved true. The oldest – Nicholas Sinclair – is also powerful magically as well as being gifted with the ability to manipulate shadows," Narcissa explained.

Voldemort felt pleased about this information as he thought it over. He would have to judge the girl's abilities himself, of course, but if she really possessed such exceptional skills then she would be useful. And the young man possessing the ability to manipulate shadows would also be useful to him. "Excellent Narcissa," Voldemort's serpentine drawl filled the room after a moment. "I believe you are well on your way to making up for Lucius's failure. Contact them for a meeting with me." Narcissa gave a smooth nod of her head before rejoining the sea of black.

"Annabelle what news do you bring from the Ministry?"

"Well my Lord," Annabelle said after the formalities were completed. "The Ministry has come to the final decision and has almost completed preparations in regards to distributing a cadre of Aurors and Hit Wizards for protecting major magical villages. They were trying to make sure they had enough of each distributed for protection – on a semi-permanent basis – to villages and for their actual jobs as designated by the Ministry. Fudge is trying to repair the damage he's done to himself," she chuckled throatily at the thought.

"Well he does have to make up for the fact that he was informed of my return and ignored it. The fool," Voldemort chuckled also as sounds of agreement were made around the room.

"There isn't much else going on. Fudge is once again relying – reluctantly, I'd say – on Dumbledore's advice and wisdom," she said sarcastically. "There working on protecting magical villages at the moment and little else."

"Incompetent fools Fudge and Dumbledore, and many ministry workers are. But their mistakes and short-comings are to our advantage. Keep me up on the Ministries goings on Annabelle." She nodded before stepping back. He went through and questioned more of his followers dishing out punishments when he was displeased. Finally he looked around, red eyes glinting in the candle light. "Now on to other matters. With the increase in followers to our cause we are now ready. Within a month's time we will lay siege to Azkaban and free my captured followers!"

The echoing cackle in the room, high and cold, followed the declaration. It was time for his followers to be released, and for his right hand to rejoin him at his side.


	19. Start of Easter Break, Malfoy Manor and

AN: Hello everyone! I'd just like to say how absolutely sorry I am that this is so late. First I had to finish typing it up, and then a lot of personal problems popped up. Major one being that me and my family moved. I only got the internet back on line about a week or so ago. So I freely welcome any complaints about the lateness of this chapter. I hope the chapter makes up for it though.

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Chapter 19: Start of Easter Break, Malfoy Manor and bit of Mischief 

After the 'Cho Incident' with the _Witch Weekly_ article and the resulting phenomenon that occurred when he had holed himself away, Harry had been setting aside time to research what was going on with him. It was hard to do between schoolwork, time with Draco and the tense and not-so-tense moments with Ron and Hermione. But he managed somehow.

There was a moderate amount of information he was able to find on the subject, though what he did fine was useful. The bolts of colored lightning were external showings of a person's magic reacting to a situation. It normally only happened with powerful witches and wizards. He had a few theories that he wanted to test also, and was glad for the time to do so. He hadn't brought it up to anyone yet; neither Ron and Hermione, or Draco knew about his research or theories. He wanted to be surer before he brought it up to ANYONE. But if his theories were right...

He was really excited about the coming prospects and couldn't wait for Easter break, which was starting not long after his last class. He was in Transfiguration now, his last class that Friday for the next two weeks. The only downside was that both Ron and Hermione were staying for the break. It wasn't that he didn't want them around; it was just that they would nag him with wanting to know what he's up to, especially Hermione. He also knew that Draco was going home for the first five days of break before returning earlier than most students. He had felt a bit uneasy when Draco had told him about the letter he had received from his mother, but he had come to mostly trust the blond and from the slightly uncomfortable look Draco had given the letter, Harry knew that he was uneasy about it too.

When the class was finally over, Harry let out a barely audible sigh of relief as he packed up his books and things. Those leaving for the break were doing so after dinner, and he knew that a good portion of the Gryffindors were leaving also. He followed Ron and Hermione out of the room, and the three of them made a trek back to Gryffindor Tower. Immediately upon entering Hermione sat in one of the common room couches and began pulling out books, quills, parchments and ink. While Ron began moaning about doing schoolwork, Harry sat and followed Hermione's actions. He wanted to get as much of the assigned schoolwork done as possible so he had more free time to work on his research. He noticed Hermione give him a look between pleased and calculating out of the corner of his eye, but ignored it. After a bit of whining Ron finally settled down and began working along with them, especially after the severe looks Hermione kept giving him.

They spent the time up until dinner working, though Ron stopped after a short period of time and set up a game of Exploding Snap with Seamus. They packed up their things, and took them up to the dorms, then left for dinner. Dinner was the same as usual only a slightly more boisterous affair with the excitement of a short break looming over everyone. Harry caught Draco's eye once during dinner; a brief, but intense stare and a one-sided quirk of the lips before they looked away.

Even though he wouldn't admit it aloud, and especially not to Draco, he was worried for his friend. He knew from what Draco had told him of his home life that his mother was just as unpleasant as his father. No, she didn't abuse him like Lucius, but her cold demeanor and blatant ignorance of her husband's actions towards her son were an abuse all on it own. So, yes, he was slightly uneasy about things concerning the blond's trip home.

With dinner over the students leaving began to make their way to the Entrance Hall so they could take the carriages to the train station. After saying farewell to their housemates, he Ron and Hermione made their way back to the Tower. He wanted to turn around, search the crowd and look at Draco one more time, but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. So he kept walking. Arriving back at the Tower he finished up the work he could, saving the essays in Potions, DADA and Charms for later. After a bit of time spent with his friends they all separated for bed.

That night Harry's dreams were full of Draco, and he desperately hoped the blond would be alright.

* * *

When Draco arrived at King's Cross and departed from the train, he took deep, reassuring breaths before going to seek out his mother after bidding goodbye to Blaise who was also heading home for the holidays. He found his mother standing regally and tall with that vaguely disgusted look upon her face as she looked around at the milling people. He withheld a sigh, and clenched his slightly trembling hands as he walked towards her. When he reached her she looked at him with cool indifference. 

"Draco," she greeted in her smooth honey tone, nodding her head.

"Mother," he said in kind. He could feel the coldness setting in already from being around her.

"Come along, son, we must get back to the manor," Narcissa turned around, instructing the house-elf accompanying her to grab the bags he had with him. They were expensive dragon hide travel bags that his mother had said were a 'necessity' for short term travel. He held back another sigh and began to follow his mother.

He really didn't want to be here, or going home, but his mother's letter had been demanding that he attend home during the break. He had an idea of what this was about though, unless his mother had a surprise she was planning to spring. He really hoped not. When they reached the side that was designed for any magical transportation he immediately looked for the familiar dark wood carriage that the Malfoy's owned.

The carriage was like the Hogwarts ones, only they were charmed to take a person to a spoken destination instead of being drawn by an animal. The house-elf settled his bags as he got in, and seconds later the carriage was speeding towards it's destination. The ride was a silent one, the silence heavy and tense like any silences with his parents. He let his mind drift – back to Hogwarts, back to Harry, and wondered what he was doing.

He knew the Gryffindor had been uneasy about the letter asking him home, and so had he even though he had an idea of what the visit was about. But he wondered; was Harry uneasy about Draco maybe being untruthful about his not wanting to join the Death Eaters, or his safety? He hoped Harry trusted him when he had said he didn't want to be a Death Eater, because he didn't. Things had been going great with the other boy so far, and he didn't want to bugger things up.

When he saw the scenery that had been racing by slowing, and then stopping, he jerked from his thoughts, realizing he had been preoccupied throughout the whole ride. They departed from the carriage and made their way into the manor. As the house-elf went to take his bags to his room his mother stopped him with a light touch to his shoulder.

"After you get settled in I want you to come down to lunch. We have a few things we need to begin discussing," Narcissa said in her light, indifferent tone. Draco nodded his head, face set in the same cool indifference.

"Of course Mother," he said simply. He went to his room, and the second the door closed he breathed out heavily through his nose. It was always uncomfortable and suffocating to be around his parents since the abuse started. With another explosive sigh he walked over towards his bed and flopped ungracefully onto it. Despite everything it felt good to be back on his bed, in his room that was warm and familiar. It was one of the few rooms that held no memory of abuse – at least not physical abuse. This was his haven in Malfoy Manor, as yet untouched by the taint of his father's abuse. It was one of several places, but still the most cherished.

Since he still had a bit of time before he was to attend lunch he decided to take the time to look around his room. Everything was as how it had been when he left for sixth year. As he sat up from lying on the bed he looked around the large expanse of his room and his eyes were drawn to the portrait to the left side of his door. He smiled a small smile at the sight of it. The magical portrait was of a beautiful panther in a lush, verdant jungle. The panther had a coat of the most luxurious black, with a beautiful sheen and the most enchanting eyes; they were green with an undertone of yellow – very haunting in their intensity.

He had been seven when he got the portrait on an excursion with his parents. He had been so enthralled with the beauty and intensity of the picture, even at such a young age, that he knew he had to have it. He had asked his father to buy it, and he remembered clearly what the man had said.

"_Please Draco," his father had said condescendingly. "Why would you want a painting of a CAT? They're so...girlish, and I know I didn't raise my son to be feminine."_

But Draco had whined and demanded, and pleaded until, exasperated, his father had given in. He knew Lucius HATED the portrait and that made Draco love it all the more. Looking around at the beautiful painting he saw the panther lazing around on a spot of lush grass. He smiled at it, running his fingers along the frame before continuing his inspection. He walked around, brushing his hand over things as he went; the dark wood wardrobe, the cream colored walls, the walk-in closet doors. He wanted to take off his shoes and sink his feet into the plush carpet, but knew time wasn't with him.

He was glad to be here; in his room, even if he wasn't glad to be at the manor. He sighed as he made his way back to the closet. He knew that his mother would want him in something different for lunch. He rummaged through the closet for a moment before pulling out an elegantly casual slate blue robe and switching into it. Running a brush quickly through his hair, he checked his appearance in the full length mirror, and then steeled himself. He left the room and began heading towards the Dining room.

Walking into the room the first thing he noticed was his mother, sitting at the table looking over some papers. He seated himself across from his mother who nodded at him with a cool smile. Immediately upon sitting house-elves began appearing and started putting a nice spread for lunch on the table. Once the house-elves disappeared both of them picked up their eating utensils.

"So Draco," Narcissa began. "How has school been, you haven't been writing as much lately?"

Draco swallowed what he was eating and barely held himself from rolling his eyes, and saying something along the lines of 'Like you care!' Instead he said, "Excuse my lack of correspondence mother, but school has been demanding. My studies have kept me quite busy."

"Yes, your studies are important, darling, and how are they going? Am I right in assuming that your grades are what I – and your father – expect them to be?" Narcissa asked. Her tone was casual, but Draco could hear the undertone beneath the words. Draco barely held himself from cringing, but it was close. While his mother knew of his abuse at Lucius's hands and turned a blind eye to it, she would use the threat – at least Draco considered it one – of what his father would do, say, or want. It drove him mad because as much as he would like to deny it, he was afraid of his father.

"My grades are excellent mother," Draco replied. Then he added: "Father would be satisfied." He knew it wasn't true. His father was hardly ever satisfied with anything he did.

"That's good to hear Draco," his mother stated. There was a moment of silence as they both ate a bit of their food. Draco was just waiting for his mother to start in on the real reasons he was there. "Now Draco," Narcissa said a moment later. "I've asked you here these few days because there are important things that need to be discussed. Normally the father of the family would be doing this, but as we both know your father is currently indisposed," she sniffed at the last word, lip curled in disdain.

"You'll be coming of age soon, and with that event comes responsibilities. You will be the new Lord of the Malfoy estate and assets. There are things – duties and such – you must uphold in the name of Malfoy. Your father would expect it, as do I, and you do wish to make your parents proud don't you?" she fixed intense blues eyes on him, raised an eyebrow.

_If being a murdering, raping bastard is upholding the Malfoy name, then no._ Draco thought, but said instead: "Of course mother, I do wish to make you and father proud." The words that had once made him feel special, important in the eyes of his parents now left a bitter taste on his tongue, but he looked his mother in the eye calmly.

"Wonderful darling," Narcissa said light as if the conversation were about the weather and not major things in his life. "We have five days to fully discuss everything and you already know most of what is expected of you. We'll talk more on this." They finished lunch in relative silence, though the food felt like sawdust in his mouth. Afterwards, Draco left the table and headed back to his room. He could tell it was going to be a long five days for him.

* * *

After breakfast Harry and his friends left the castle for a day in Hogsmeade. Walking into the wizarding village, the trio automatically made their way to Honeydukes. Greeting the owners politely, they went about gathering their craved confections, talking as they did. Once they gathered and paid for their candy they left the popular sweetshop. From there they headed to Zonko's upon Ron's insistence, much to Hermione's disapproval. Harry found himself enjoying the time they spent in the joke shop, the time spent with his friends. It felt good not to be irritated by their presence, and not to feel guilty about that irritation. 

They spent some time in Zonko's with Ron buying a few things, but mostly scoping things out for the twins. Talk of the twins reminded Harry of the Christmas presents they got him – pranks, a bottle of Ogden's Firewhisky and some other things he couldn't remember – and made a mental note to thank them next time he saw them. After leaving Zonko's they headed towards Scrivenshaft's so Hermione could get some more quills and other stationary.

They trudged through the quill shop after their enthusiastic friend who became momentarily enthralled with a new type of quill, and Harry had a good laugh with Ron as the redhead made faces behind his girlfriend's back. When Hermione caught him in the midst of making a face, and Harry snickering silently behind his hand, she had smacked each upside the head, paid for her things and left the store in a huff. He and Ron followed, trying to look properly chastised and failing miserably.

"So, where to for lunch?" Ron asked, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

"How about Dickinson's, we've only been there once since they've opened and the food is rather good?" Hermione asked, looking at the two boys. Dickinson's was a new restaurant that had opened up in Hogsmeade a little over a month ago. It sold a larger variety of food and drink than the Three Broomsticks, and the food was delicious.

Harry and Ron agreed, and together the three friends headed for Dickinson's. With less students around it would be less crowded and easier to get a table. Because of its popularity they were only able to go there once before out of two visits to Hogsmeade. They made their way back up the street and to the building diagonally across from Honeydukes. The front of the building had a bay window that you could see the inside of. A rectangular, arced sign above the window and door read 'Dickinson's' in royal blue print.

They entered the shop and took a seat near the window. The inside was really nice; not too formal, really, more of a casual feel and look to it. The floor was a rich blue carpet and the walls were a rich cream with blue accents on the baseboards. The contrast in the colors complimented the room nicely. Around the perimeter of the room were several booths for larger parties to seat themselves in along with light oak tables – circular and rectangular – that sat one to four people depending on the table. The place was really good for a nice, relaxing lunch.

Three menus appeared immediately as they sat down, hovering in front of them. They plucked them up and began looking through them, talking as they did. Harry brushed away the irritation and bit of guilt he felt at being irritated from losing time he thought would be better used for his research. Things just hadn't been the same with the three of them that year, and Harry knew he was somewhat to blame for being so closed and cold with Ron and Hermione. Finally each selected their choice meals by touching the small pictures with the descriptions under it of what it was. The menus disappeared, and they had only about thirty to forty-five seconds to wait before the food popped up in front of them.

After taking a bite of his sandwich, Harry spoke up, breaking the silence. "You know, it feels really good to have such a lack in activity from Voldemort," Harry said quietly after swallowing. He deliberately ignored Ron's slight wince and almost choking. He was slowly learning to get used to hearing the Dark Lord's name, and not flinch with every mention of it.

"Yes it is, but it leaves the question of what he is doing in this time of silence," Hermione replied with a slight worried frown.

"Do we have to talk about him now, and especially with the break and everything?" Ron pleaded, looking at them both. Harry sighed and pinned the redhead with an intense look.

"Ron, an active Voldemort is bad enough, but a silent one could be even worse! It means he's lying low and planning something," Harry stated, and then sighed at the uncomfortable look on Ron's face. "It's almost the end of the school year, you know." He said giving Ron a pointed look before looking to Hermione. She nodded with a solemn look.

"Which means Voldemort will more than likely be attacking soon, as per his almost yearly custom," Hermione said. Harry nodded stuffing a chip in his mouth.

"It's just best to be prepared," Harry said simply. Ron sighed, but finally nodded agreement.

"Its just...easier not to think about it sometimes, to pretend there's no Dark Lord and no war," Ron said quietly, then shoved a few chips into his mouth, uncomfortable.

"We all like to pretend now and then Ron, but sometimes we just have to face reality," Hermione said, just as quietly. There was a tense, uncomfortable silence for a moment, each lost in they're own thoughts.

"Last match of the year coming up," Ron said abruptly, not-so-subtly changing the subject. "We'll need to really train hard when Easter break is over, with the way Slytherin has been playing. We'll need to really pound them into the ground to get the Cup. Especially after the way they trounced Ravenclaw." He frowned slightly at that.

"Yeah they did beat Ravenclaw with a forty point lead, and that was without Malfoy catching the Snitch," Harry agreed, remembering the game intently. Especially the way Draco sat astride his broom and the way he rode it. To clear his thoughts, he shook his head to rid himself of the sudden assault of images that hit him. "If that Slytherin/Ravenclaw match was intense, and anything to go by, then we'll have to push ourselves to the limit for our game."

"Yeah, they'll pull every dirty trick they can," Ron spat vehemently, pointing at Harry and nodding before biting into his sandwich. Harry saw Hermione roll her eyes at Ron's fervent tone, but the amused smile and fond look she sent him was proof otherwise.

"You boys' and your games," she muttered, shaking her head.

"No talk of school or assignments, now," Ron said with a disgusted look. "Let's talk about something else?"

"Like what?" Harry asked lazily.

"There's been enough bad stuff this year so far, and I think you need some distraction," Ron said decisively. Harry had to hold himself from groaning. "And I've prepared for such a thing, mate!"

"Ron...what are you talking about?" Hermione asked, looking at her boyfriend warily, a stern look about her.

"Come on 'Mione, you have to admit Harry could use a bit of fun after everything that's happened to him this year," he replied, and gave the girl a look. He turned to Harry then. "You remember the owl that came for me two days ago? Well I contacted Fred and George, and they sent me a few things. We," he paused dramatically, holding a chip up like a torch. "are going to pull a couple of pranks this break! You need this, Harry, because you've moped around too much this year." He smiled as he stuffed the chip into his mouth.

Harry stared at the redhead incredulously, frustration and the warmth of friendship struggling in equal part inside him. It was nice to have Ron being so determined to bring him out of his funk, but this was messing with his plans of research. He forced a smile on his face, before taking a drink of his Butterbeer. He supposed he could spare some time for fun for his friends; really it wouldn't kill him to do so. His research could be postponed a bit, surely, for the sake of spending a bit of time with his friends? Yes, it could. His smile turned a bit more genuine at this. Then he sat back and finished eating while listening to Hermione protest to a determined Ron about his idea.

* * *

When they got back to the castle Harry, Ron, and a reluctant and slightly disapproving Hermione sat together and began planning the pranks. After a bit they had dragged Ginny into their scheming, and the four worked out who they would prank and with what pranks they would use. They even ended up getting Hermione into it a bit more, and by the time they each went to bed that night they had a list of pranks and victims for the break. 

Harry found himself with a small smile on his face when he laid down for bed that night. It felt good to be doing something with his friends while also knowing he'll have enough time to research his idea and theories. _Maybe,_ he thought, _this break won't be so bad after all._


	20. Plans, Training and Weird Hair

I found the information for the symbol I'm using - _triquetra_-, and I am going with the concept that "in the pagan mindset this design symbolized the connection of the three planes of existence: mind, body, and spirit" If you would like information on it please just ask in a review!

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Chapter 20: Plans, Training and Weird Hair 

**March 30**

The next day the four took some time to finalize all the details of the first prank they were going to pull. They each had a good laugh over the images they conjured as they hammered everything out after breakfast. Harry was really looking forward to the pranks, and his enthusiasm over it was evident. He decided to hang around his friends for the day, and pushed his research to the back of his mind. He needed to make up for the neglect of his friendship in the last several months, and he felt this was a good idea.

He spent the time after breakfast, and after the discussion on pranks, playing a few games of Wizards Chess and Exploding Snap with Ron. He could see the happiness in Ron from him being around and not being as defensive as he had been, and felt that twinge of guilt inside of him. At least neither was asking him annoying questions that he didn't want to answer. So far the break was turning out to be a good one.

After a hearty lunch he and the two Weasley siblings gathered a few others, and held a mock Quidditch match on the pitch. They played for two hours, able to get in two matches. The first one Harry played Seeker against Ginny who put up a good challenge before Harry caught the snitch. The second match they switched positions on the Seeker, and Harry played against some fifth year Ravenclaw, while Ginny took up Chaser. When the match was done, and everything was cleaned up, the group departed and headed back to the castle. When they got back to the Tower the one's who played separated to shower before dinner.

While showering, Harry decided to sneak down to his secret rooms that night, and start a bit on what he had had planned. He would probably exhaust himself with everything he had done that day, but he wanted to get started on his research. After he was done he headed back to the common room, and sat with Hermione to wait for Ron and Ginny.

"You've been a lot more upbeat lately," Hermione commented with an appraising look as Harry folded his legs Indian style under himself. He looked at her, and made a noncommittal noise. "I've just been wondering about it is all. What's got you acting so much like the Harry of before? Are you just coming out of the depression you've seemed to of been in, or is there someone that's contributing to it?" she continued, tone speculative, but a smile playing around her lips.

"Nothing, just coming out of the bad mood I was in, I guess. I mean, you can't expect me to be happy and carefree all the time with everything's that happened can you?" he asked with a helpless sort of shrug, hiding how uncomfortable he felt about the questions.

Hermione hummed quietly and shrugged herself. "Maybe," she said reasonably enough. There was silence a moment, before she spoke again. "But whatever it is I'm glad to see you happier than you have been." Harry gave her a small smile and nodded, not saying anything. If she knew part of the reason was their rival and enemy Draco Malfoy, he doubted she would be so glad.

Not long after that conversation Ron and Ginny came down. They stayed in the common room talking quietly about nothing particular until dinner time came around. They went down to the Great Hall and feasted on the Easter meal that was presented to them. It was a scrumptious meal with talking, laughter and merriment, though Harry was slightly preoccupied. Between his thoughts on his research and his worry for Draco he was torn in three directions as he tried to keep in the conversations.

Dinner ended and they headed back to the Tower, full and sated after a good meal. As soon as they entered Harry turned to Hermione with a small smile. "Could I borrow that book you got from the library for my Charms essays?" He asked.

Hermione returned the smile. "I took out several for my Charms essay, you can look through them for yours, and use them as you wish," she said, and hurried up to the girl's dorm. Harry went to his own dorm, retrieved his own materials, and when he came back down Hermione was there with four books in her lap.

"I've already completed my Charms essay so you can use these," she said, and handed the books to him. He nodded, setting them on the table in front of him.

"Thanks Hermione, I appreciate it. I'll give them back as soon as I'm done," Harry said before getting to work. Hermione was also working on something, and that was how things flowed until people began to turn in for bed. Harry worked on his essay, storing bits of information away for later use. He worked as the common room began to become sparse of people as the other Gryffindors went to bed. Hermione finally departed herself, claiming tiredness, kissed Ron who sat across from her and left for bed. Harry cleaned up his work, gathering everything together, and with Ron in tow, they headed for their dorm.

Harry mimicked, slowly, like he was going to change for bed as Ron changed, climbed into bed and mumbled a half coherent 'good night' to him. He pretended until he was sure Ron was asleep and then pulled his shirt back on, and knelt in front of his trunk. He grabbed out his map and cloak, rummaged through, and pulled out a pen and a spiral notebook, and shoved them into his bag that he had also pulled out. With a narrow-eyed look at the trunk, he nodded to himself, closed and charmed it shut, and then glanced around to make sure Ron was asleep. Tapping the map with his wand he whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and waited. As he did so, he wrapped his invisibility cloak around himself. With the all clear for the Tower and the sixth floor, he quickly made his way out of the Tower.

He was careful as he made his way down the staircases and corridors until he reached the Ground Floor. He carefully made his way to the hall before the entrance to the dungeons, quietly hissed out the password, and slipped through the shimmering, half transparent bit of wall. Once inside the sitting room, he pulled off the cloak, and deactivated the map. Taking a moment to just breathe, Harry rolled his shoulders, stretched his arms above his head, and sighed. Then, with the invisibility cloak thrown over his shoulder, and the Marauder's Map shoved into his bag, he hitched up the bag and stalked towards the library.

He had spent the last two weeks occasionally coming to these rooms and exploring them more. He had been positive that there would be a secret room or two, being Salazar Slytherin's and all. He had searched every room in the suite and looked for every possible place a secret room would be. Three days before Easter break, tired and prepared to give up on finding anything, if there was _anything_, he'd gotten a breakthrough. He had been sitting in the chair in the library, relaxing back with his head tilted to the ceiling, tired, frustrated and disappointed. After a while he had risen from the chair and began walking around the room.

As he was walking past the bare stretch of wall next to the bookcase closes to the door something flashed in the corner of his eye. He turned to the wall and looked at it intently for a long while, but saw nothing that could have been anything important. As he turned back to keep walking he saw the object again, and froze, looking out the corner of his eye at the spot on the wall that he saw it. At first he really couldn't see anything so he tilted his head slightly and caught it, the faint glint of something on the wall.

Getting the position of it memorized and putting his hand just under it, finger tips touching the bottom of it a bit, he turned around and stared hard at the spot. At first he saw nothing, but upon closer inspection he could see the faintest design, hardly a shade darker then the rest of the wall. Looking closely, what he had thought was just a circle was really an ouroboro's – a snake eating its own tail. He could see the lightest of glimmers to it, and he had touched it lightly, very curious about it. He had been sure that whatever it was, it was the most likely thing to use for a secret room. After many, many attempts at pushing on it and then spouting off possible passwords – both in English and Parseltongue – he had been about to give up when a voice had made him freeze.

**Flashback**

"I can help you out, you know, you silly human," a soft voice spoke quietly from somewhere. Whipping his head around, Harry looked frantically for the source of the voice. He could hear the hissing and knew that it was a snake.

"Who are you? Where are you?" he asked in parseltongue.

"Ah another snake-speaker I see," the voice said, sounding faintly happy. "Look in the corner, snake-speaker." He looked into the corners of the room and then saw it. It was a moving, white marble snake statue with glinting blue diamond eyes.

"As for whom I am? I'm Seraphina and I'm a guardian that's just been reawakened. And you are?" Seraphina asked.

"My name is Harry," he said, "Where did you come from? You weren't there before. And what do you guard?"

"Hello Harry," she greeted and nodded her head. "I was invisible and silent until the trigger was touched, which you did. As for what I guard? I guard a few things," she said vaguely.

"Would you show me the things you guard?" Harry asked politely, but cautiously, not wanting to anger her. There was silence for a long moment as the snake statue looked at him. Then...

"I haven't been used in so long and would gladly like to be of use once again, Harry. There are two hidden rooms that I guard," she tilted her head to the side. "And they have two separate passwords..."

**End Flashback**

Once there he walked in and sat the cloak onto the desk, then turned, and looked at the back right corner. "Seraphina?" he called softly to the marble statue that looked asleep, coiled around herself. He had asked her to remain visible unless he asked otherwise.

Blue diamond eyes, previously dim, began to sparkle at him as she raised her head. "Oh hello Harry, how are you?"

"I'm fine lovely," he said, stroking her back gently. He had fallen in love with the beautiful living statue, and adored her greatly already. "Hmm, I'm going to be using one of rooms for a bit._Double-edged_" he said. Seraphina nodded and a section of bookcase rotated inwards with only a slight grinding noise. He had changed the passwords to his own as the others had been just too confusing. He gave the statue a last stroke before gathering his bag and cloak, and slipping through the bookcase, which closed behind him.

Immediately upon entrance the dim light in the room brightened, and, taking out his wand, Harry lit the torches to provide a bit of warmth. The room was rectangular in shape and large with bracketed torches along the top of the walls at about two foot intervals. Every third torch had a glowing glass sphere atop it that provided more light to the room with the everlasting _Lumos_ charms encased in them. The walls had faint, light green vines painted on them going straight up them on the four walls, crossing onto the ceiling and weaving together to form an open circle lined in leaves a little less than half the size of the ceiling. In the middle of that circle was a symbol – a triquetra, Harry had found out after looking it up. It was painted black among the rest of the green twisting vines in the middle of the blank circle.

Harry set his things down on the soft black rubber matting that graced the floor that he had charmed and placed there, and turned back to the rest of the room. Pulling a quill from his pocket he deposited it on the floor and stepped back a few paces. Taking a deep breath he stared at the quill intently, raised his hand and moved it like he would his wand. "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" he said the spell firmly, but the quill only twitched slightly before stilling. He was half frustrated that it didn't work and slightly encouraged that it moved at all. It was still a promising beginning to being able to do wandless magic.

Squaring his shoulders and taking another deep breath, he looked at the quill again, swished his wrist ending with a crisp flick and intoned, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" The quill twitched and then began to slowly float into the air. It floated up and Harry felt excitement creep up his spine before the quill wavered and then fell to the ground. He breathed out slowly through his nose, endeavoring not to become angry or frustrated, and really, there was no need to. The quill had floated almost five feet or so into the air, on his second try. That was enough to bring a small smile to his face.

He knew it would be slow work in some places, but he was hopeful that he could accomplish his goal of being able to do wandless magic. Focusing his mind firmly on his task he concentrated on getting the levitation spell to perfection. It took a while but he was able to master the charm wandlessly and keep the quill floating for an extended amount of time.

Feeling way too excited for the circumstances and not caring one bit about it, he substituted the quill for something a bit heavier, and tried the charm again. He was happy to see some of his theories were right, and that he COULD do wandless magic. He would spend time over the rest of break working more on his theories, and wandless magic, and slowly learning to control it. He was determined to.

**

* * *

**

**March 31**

The four of them were on their way to the Great Hall for lunch, and all too eager about it. They kept exchanging amused, excited looks occasionally as they went. They had snuck back into the Great Hall after breakfast, and after everyone had left to put the plan in motion, and they couldn't wait to see the results.

Harry smiled to himself as he walked along, happy and excited for so many reasons. Last night had gone well, though things had run into early morning hours before he had quit. In the end he had been able to levitate five large books easily, which gave him the thought that he could probably levitate heavier things with practice. Having been so pleased with that outcome he moved on to another spell to try. It had taken him a bit longer to _Accio_ things to him, but finally he was able to accomplish it. He was exhausted after only those two spells, tired and drained, both physically and magically, but ecstatic all the same. He was right about part of his theories; he could – and would – be able to do wandless magic with a bit of work and determination. He had felt so happy that morning at last night's proof and progress that he had little irritation towards anything. He was just too excited and happy.

They reached the Great Hall, and entered, sitting down at their table. Once the Hall filled up the food began to appear on the tables. As they began eating Harry passed a few surreptitious glances at the Head Table, and around the Hall. The spell should be activating soon, and Harry couldn't wait. Soon there were several 'pops' echoing loudly around the Hall, and Harry looked up to the Head Table, and burst into laughter along with many other people. Along the length of the table every professor had brightly colored hair styled like that of the Troll Dolls. It was immensely funny to see.

Pomfrey, the school Medi-witch, had bright, sunshine yellow hair that glinted in the light from the enchanted ceiling. It shined like a bright beacon. Next to her Professor Sprout was sporting a bright, violently orange color reminiscent of the Chudley Cannons. Sinistra's hair was vivid magenta and next to her Vector's was lime green. McGonagall's hair was green, Slytherin green, with silver streaks, and Harry nearly choked on his saliva at the picture she made.

By now Dumbledore had conjured a long mirror on the wall behind them, and the professors' were looking incredulous and furious and amused at their reflections. After McGonagall came Dumbledore who was looking greatly amused at his rainbow colored hair, fingering it with a long finger and smiling. The DADA professor, Devington, had a disturbing shade of sky blue hair which looked even odder with his dark coloring. Harry gasped, and bit his lip when he saw Snape, red-faced, with bright red hair streaked with gold. Next to him Flitwick had shiny turquoise hair, and beside him Hooch had bright pink hair that could have competed with Flitwick's and Pomfrey's for shiniest. The complete sight was too hilarious for words.

Then Harry looked around the Hall to see random students sporting outrageously colored hair. Looking to his friends, cheeks hurting from laughing so hard and choking on more laughter he saw the results of their decision to also do themselves, so as to relieve suspicions on their parts. Ron and Hermione had done the spell for each others seats, picking the colors and keeping it from the other to add surprise, as did Harry and Ginny. Ron and Hermione, who sat across from him, had purple and sea green hair respectively, Ron's freckles made it even funnier. Turning, Harry looked at Ginny beside him whose hair was an intense violet. Harry tuned back to look at the two opposite him, and saw Hermione transfigure a fork into a mirror, looking in it, before passing it around. When Harry looked in it he saw that his hair was neon blue with the tips bright green.

The laughter in the Great Hall was punctured by the furious yell from the Head Table. Snape was standing and seething, alternately glaring around the Hall, occasionally focusing more on the Gryffindor table, especially around where Harry and his friends sat.

"I know he did it!" the man spat loudly over the noise.

"Now Severus," Dumbledore could be heard vaguely. "You don't know that it was him. Do you think he would do this to himself?" Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny snickered to themselves. That day, Harry hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

* * *

Severus scowled as he stalked the Halls that night. The spell had long since worn off, and his hair was back to its usual greasy black, but he felt no better than when he had first saw his hair in those atrocious colors. He was sure that Potter, and his friends, had something to do with it, even if Dumbledore thought otherwise. The boy was outrageously like his bastard of a father, and his disgusting godfather; Severus knew he was. But Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to give the boy detention, and he felt distinctly upset about it. But he could always punish the boy in other ways. 

Walking down another corridor he let his thoughts shift to other, more important things. Like his godson, Draco. He felt a lump of unease in the pit of his stomach that had been there since the boy had left for the train. He didn't like the idea of him being there with his mother alone. He didn't know Draco's stance on the Death Eater issue, but had been subtly trying to bring the blond around, away from that path. The uncertainty about his stance, and the fact that he was around his mother for five fays of the break, didn't set well with him.

He happened upon a couple in a nook, and berated the couple he found locked in a passionate embrace, criticizing them harshly, then deducting points, and sending them on their way. But even this did little to relieve the uncomfortable feeling he felt. With an aggrieved sigh, he ignored the portraits who complained about being woken up, and continued on his way. He knew that if Draco was still looking to make Lucius proud – they really didn't talk about certain things – then becoming a Death Eater would be his last, desperate attempt. He didn't like the thought of Draco following that madman, and he couldn't exactly say what he would do, feel even, if his godson joined a man Severus discovered too late was not the path to take. He still regretted his naivety from back then; his actions of joining the Dark Lord. He didn't want Draco to do what he did just to try and please Lucius. He didn't want the boy making the same mistakes he had.

No, Severus Snape would try everything in his power to sway Draco from that path; everything. And if he failed to do so...he'd worry about that when, and if, he had to. Until then he would try to persuade his godson otherwise. He couldn't lose him. He wouldn't if he could help it.


	21. Visits, Arguments and Reconciliations, a

AN: Sorry for the lateness on this! Between catching up on emails and stories I had on alert, and then having to change my schedule a bit to help out my mom; I've been mighty busy. But here it is! I'll try to have Chapter 22 up within two weeks. Its already typed up, I just have to go over it again to correct any mistakes.

* * *

Chapter 21: Visits, Arguments and Reconciliations, and The Mission

**April 1**

Harry, Ron and Hermione were heading from the castle to the Shrieking Shack to meet up with Remus Lupin. Harry had received a letter the day before during breakfast from the man asking the three to meet him there. Harry hadn't seen the man since that one time during the summer, and wasn't really sure how he felt about it. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Remus; it was just that he wasn't sure about the visit. But all in all he did feel a bit happy to see him.

They made it to the Shrieking Shack by the front entrance instead of the Whomping Willow and trekked into the place. Harry felt a brief, tight clenching in his chest, and had to breathe deeply as the momentary lost of breath hit him before leaving him with a slightly hollow feeling. This was the first place he had seen Sirius whole and human and not in a paper, and the place where he discovered the truth about his parents deaths aside from the well-known facts. Breathing deeply, he swallowed thickly, and ignored the stares from his friends that he could feel burning into him. He hadn't thought it would be this bad when he had found where they were meeting. He hadn't thought it would feel this way, honestly, and he was kicking himself mentally for thinking that way.

"Harry?" Hermione's quiet voice spoke, but he heard it distantly, as if through a tunnel. He was spiraling into that dark, cold place he hadn't been in for so long. He could feel the icy fingers of despair clutching his heart and he gasped out a quiet breath, stumbling against the nearest wall. And all he could see was Sirius, his mouth open in surprise, eyes wide and the laughter not quite gone from them, body arching gracefully as he fell back, back, back through –

"Harry!" a shout, and shaking, brought him back from the edge of – he didn't want to think about it, didn't know really, and was glad for the distraction. He opened his eyes – when had they closed? – and looked into worried brown, amber and blue eyes. He swallowed again, vaguely appalled at his near breakdown in front of Hermione, Remus and Ron, and averted his eyes. With a few long, deep breaths he was slowly calming down, slowly coming back to himself.

"Harry, are you alright?" Remus asked looking at him with concern. Harry didn't trust himself to speak so he nodded his head, still feeling cold, but otherwise back to normal. He was feeling slightly drained and a bit hollow too, but tried not to show it. "Are you sure, you kind of seemed far away there?"

"Yes," Harry croaked, then cleared his throat. "Yes I'm sure, Remus, nothing's wrong. I just...was remembering third year is all and how things have changed since then." Harry said looking at the man with a small smile. It was the truth mostly. Remus looked at him intensely, but nodded his head, and squeezed his shoulder. There was a strained look to the man's face, a tightening of the skin around the eyes and mouth. Harry looked to his friends and nodded to them in reassurance. They didn't look too convinced, but said nothing to him.

"Let's go up to the room and sit down." The four made their way to the room, and Harry fought back the memories with an ironclad control. Chairs had already been conjured for them, and they sat down. Remus pulled up a box and pulled out a Butterbeer for all of them, handing one to each, and keeping one for himself. "So, how are things going with you three? Anything new?"

The three smiled at each other, though there was still a bit of concern in everyone's eyes for Harry, and launched into a description of the day before and their prank. They explained all the preparation they went through for the prank, everything they did and then how lunch had played out. Remus was laughing by the end of it, holding his sides with eyes bright with tears of mirth.

"You should have seen Snape's face!" Ron exclaimed through bouts of choked laughter. "His face was almost as red as the hair color itself." Ron smiled gleefully.

"McGonagall's was great too, with that green and silver hair; she looked so appalled, but I think the colors suited her nicely," Harry smirked. "See, we each picked a person and I chose McGonagall, Dumbledore and Devington while Ron took Pomfrey and Snape. We decided making his hair our House colors would really irritate him. Hermione took Sinistra, Flitwick and Vector, and Ginny took Hooch and Sprout."

"Well," Remus said, chuckling a bit still and shaking his head. "That sounds like it made quite the sight, especially your own hair." He smiled a bit wistfully at Harry. He hesitated a moment, Harry noticed, before speaking. "I...think, no, I know your dad and...Sirius would've been proud being the pranksters they were," he said softly, but firmly, his smile sad and warm, and comforting all at once.

Harry closed his eyes as emotions ran rampantly through him. It made his chest tighten to hear that, and for two different reasons. It was good to know that his father and Sirius would be proud to see him pulling pranks on people like they had, but it made him uncomfortable also. After viewing Snape's pensieve the year before he had felt mixed feelings about adding Snape into the prank. On the one hand it would be nice to get a little of his own back for all the man's bad treatment towards him, but on the other it had reminded him too much of what he saw his father do in the pensieve, and he hadn't fully gotten over the idea of his father as a bully. In the end he had decided to go through with it. It was to be funny, yes, and a bit embarrassing, but he had decided no where near as degrading as his father's had been. Besides, it wasn't his fault Snape had no sense of humor.

Sighing he opened his eyes to see Remus staring at him worriedly and just nodded his head, smiling weakly. There were just too many emotional things occurring that day. _Let them come to their own conclusions,_ he decided, _because there was no use explaining the twisted logic of my mind that they will only try to comfort away with platitudes that will most likely make me angry in the end._ He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt and just as he saw Remus open his mouth he blurted, "So what have you been up to?"

Remus closed his mouth and frowned, and looked at him intently for a moment that made him slightly uncomfortable, before speaking. "I've been doing a bit of business for the Order, but I can't really say what. Sorry," Remus said apologetically. Silence descended after that, mostly comfortable at first, before turning tense and awkward.

"Harry, Ron and I are going to head back, why don't you spend some time talking to Remus?" Hermione said casually with a small smile. And Harry would have fallen for it if he didn't realize what Hermione was doing. She was going to leave him and Remus alone hoping to get them to talk about Sirius. He felt slightly agitated with her and glared, which she averted her eyes to and ignored as she grabbed Ron's hand and stood up. "We'll see you back at the Tower, alright? It was nice seeing you again, Remus."

"Yeah, it was great spending time with you," Ron said looking a bit confused.

"It was nice to see you two again as well," Remus replied, and with waves and smiles to both the two left the room. Remus turned back to him and looked at him with a small frown. "How have you really been, Harry?" he asked softly.

Harry took a deep breath – he was doing that a lot today – and shoved his irritation down. "I've been fine, like I said."

"You don't have to be strong all the time," Remus said in that same soft tone. Harry gritted his teeth and fought to control his temper.

"I'm not being strong Remus, I'm really fine. I'm getting on just fine," Harry said trying for a reassuring tone and sound slightly irritated instead. Remus sighed quietly and leaned over to lay a hand on Harry's.

"Harry don't be upset, but Hermione wrote me a letter about a month ago stating some concerns she had about you. It was very detailed in what she wanted to express. She had written that you had been closed off and distant most of the year, and that you'd become highly agitated whenever she tried to talk to you, especially about..." Remus trailed off, and looked at him closely.

Harry had tensed at the words 'Hermione' and 'letter' in the same sentence, knowing nothing good could follow those words. As he listened to the man he felt himself flushing in anger at the audacity of his supposed best friend. He understood her concern and worry about him, and he didn't begrudge her those feelings. But he didn't like that she went behind his back when he obviously didn't want to talk about these things. He snatched his hand away from the others and stood from his chair, knocking it back harshly. He glared at nothing in particular before turning his intense gaze on Remus. "Bloody nosy, annoying –" he broke off as he began to pace. "She had no right to do that! I didn't want to talk about it because I'd rather deal wit it on my own. Stupid bloody Hermione," Harry ranted, switching to parseltongue, only half-aware of it. He saw Remus's eyes widen, before he turned to pace the other way.

"She wrote asking you to come and talk to me, and you decided Easter break was just a smashing time!" He rounded on the man and glared at him.

"The letter gave me concern Harry," Remus responded calmly. "Your responses to my letters this past summer stated that you were "getting on fine" and that you were "grieving and sad, but you'd be fine" and although I was skeptical at first I began to think that maybe you really WERE fine. Then I received Hermione's letter and it didn't sound like you were as fine as you'd said."

"So, what, I'm not allowed to be by myself when I want to? I'm not allowed to grieve in peace; I have to have everyone looking after me?" Harry spat, angry, and hurt, and frustrated about the whole thing.

Remus looked at him sadly, but made no move to reach out to him. "It's not that at all," he said. "You have people who care about you and are worried about you, Harry! We just want to be there for you."

Harry gave a short derisive laugh, head thrown back and arms spread wide. The tone of the laugh had a bit of hysteria behind it making it sound sharper and louder. "I had no one growing up, _no one_; until I was eleven years old I only had myself. I've learned to get by my own way – _on my own_! You all want to "be there for me,"" he sneered, lip curled upwards. "Then leave me alone, and let me deal on my own _like I always have_!"

Remus stared at him wide-eyed as he breathed heavily, feeling his face hot with anger. "Harry, we just want to help you if you're have a hard time dealing with..." the man trailed off and looked unsure. "anything." Remus finished quietly.

Harry breathed out slowly through his nose trying to release a bit of his tension and anger. He really did understand what Remus was saying, but no one seemed to understand things the other way around – from HIS perspective. "I understand Remus, really I do." Harry said his voice tight and strained with calmness he really wasn't feeling. "But what you, Hermione, Ron and others have to understand is that I do something better on my own. If you pressure and back me into a corner I'm only going to become angry and defensive. I mean, don't you have ways of dealing with things yourself?" Harry asked, looking at the man intently. He conveniently ignored the fact that his ways of dealing sometimes involved a sharp blade.

Remus looked back at Harry for a long moment and then sighed, nodding his head. "I like to go off and be alone, someplace peaceful, where I can think, and let myself figure things out on my own. It usually helps clear my mind." Harry gave the man a small smile at this.

"See, you have your way of dealing with things as everyone does, and I have my own. It's a way that works for me," Harry said, standing still and looking Remus in the eye.

Remus nodded returning the small smile. "Hermione just sounded so worried in her letter. The way she described your behavior made it sound like you weren't doing so well. I was concerned."

"Thanks," Harry said and unclenched his fists. He was definitely angry with Hermione. "I know she was only trying to help, but still."

"Have you tried explaining what you said to me to your friends?" Remus asked, beckoning Harry to sit again. He did, and looked at Remus with a wry smile.

"Probably not the best ways possible, but yeah I have," he sighed and shook his head.

"Well maybe if you try to explain it to them calmly...? And don't be too angry with Hermione, she was just worried about you." Remus said. Harry nodded, but otherwise ignored what was said about Hermione. Oh he was definitely angry with her. Bloody girl just couldn't mind her business.

"I should probably head back now. It was great seeing you though, all things considered." He stood from his chair, and gave the man a smile. It was true even with all that was discussed it had been great to see the man again. Remus stood also and smile back at him.

"Same here Harry. Take care of yourself, okay, and write me if you need anything, anything at all."

"I will," Harry replied simply. They shared a brief hug before Harry turned and made his way from the room. Remus had made him feel a bit better and while he wasn't as angry as before he was still pretty upset at Hermione. He made his way back to the castle quickly, the fading light of afternoon testament to the time of day it was. When he walked through the portrait Hermione was no where to be seen, though Ron was sitting at a table playing chess with Ginny. "Where's Hermione?" he asked leaning against Ron's chair.

"Uh, library, she said she was going there, and that she'd be back in time for dinner," Ron said absently, obviously focused on the game. Harry nodded and rose to get his own seat for the time being. He sat back to watch the game, deciding he could deal with Hermione later.

* * *

After making it to his secret quarters safely and undetected, then stalking through to the library and hissing the password to Seraphina unintentionally harshly, he was now secluded in what he had deemed his 'training room' glaring at the wall opposite the entrance. After dinner he had confronted Hermione, and the situation had quickly spiraled out of control. They had yelled at each other, said things that had left the other hurting and angry, and then each had stormed away. He had waited until it was a little later, tense and frustrated, and then gathered his things and left for his secret rooms. Parts of the argument rang in his head, viciously mocking him, and enflaming his already heated anger. 

**Flashback**

"You had no right to do that Hermione! I told you to let me deal on my own, but you just had to butt your nose into it, didn't you?" Harry snarled, glaring at the girl. They were standing in the middle of the common room that was filled with their housemates who were all staring at them avidly.

"It was for your own good! Harry, you needed to talk to someone, and I figured Remus would be the best choice since you shared a common bond. You had shared grief there, and I thought I would write to him, let him know, and see if he could help!" Hermione yelled back, breathing heavily and glaring just as fiercely.

"For my own good? Do I look like a bloody child to you Hermione? Because I'm not! Stop mothering me, your fucking annoying about it. My mother happens to be DEAD if you've forgotten, and I surely don't need one now when I haven't had one for the last bloody sixteen years!" Harry screamed back. The common room, already silent from the start, felt even more so after this statement. Harry noticed Hermione looking at him shocked, face flushed red, but Harry was too angry, too far gone at this point.

"That's right Hermione, she's dead. Stop trying to fill the part because you can't and I don't want you to. I'm not a child," Harry spat.

"I don't think you are," Hermione said, quieter than before. "But the way you have been acting calls to attention the fact that you've been acting like one. All these tantrums when all I wanted to do was help make it seem like you ARE a child." She aid quietly, but firmly. "I was just being a friend."

Harry stared at her, face hard and eyes guarded. Then, he said quietly though it rang through the silent room as if he'd shouted it, "Then maybe we shouldn't be friends." The look on her face was of shock and hurt at these words. The silence of the common room was harsh compared to the yelling that had took place before, but the look in Hermione's eyes spoke volumes.

**End Flashback**

After that he had turned and left the room headed for the dorm and warded the curtains to his bed. He ignored Ron's feeble attempts to get him to talk, ignored everything until the redhead had given up. Now he stood, glaring at the wall angry and hurt; angry at Hermione, angry at himself and just generally angry. Taking a deep breath he let it out slowly and lifted his hand, palm up, and intoned calmly: "_Incendio_."

There was a large burst of flames over his palm, but not a ball of flame. A few sparks burned his fingers and palm, but the brief starbursts of pain did clear his mind a bit. Clenching his other hand, he breathed out again and said the spell more firmly and commandingly. _"Incendio!"_ He pushed his magic into his palm, focusing on that point. There was another burst of fire, and then he felt his palm heating up, but not uncomfortably so. He watched as the small spark ignited into a palm-size fireball and hovered inches above the palm of his right hand, casting a warm heat to it.

As the ball of flame hovered there inches above the skin, his anger seemed to burn away, like the flame was burning it away. It wasn't all of it by any means, but a majority seemed to just die as the flame burned, leaving behind hurt and a coldness that seemed to purposely defy the hot flame. As the muscles of his arms flexed, he could feel the cuts –new and fresh and raw – stretch and sting. He could feel the other wound – and abrasive lightning bolt cut, about three or four inches long – that he made in a moment of despair, before stopping the blood and lightly healing it. He had wanted the scar to remain as he had with his other scars. He extinguished the flame by focusing on making it recede, and die out, picturing it in his head. After it was gone, he sighed, and fell to the floor.

He hadn't meant what he had said to Hermione, it had just been the first thing to come to mind, and he said it without thought. He had just been so angry with her nosy behavior and her obsessive concern that he had blurted out the first thing that came to mind with her last sentence. And he regretted now that he had had time to think it all out. Ignoring the sting and burn of his cuts, he pushed himself to stand. He decided to concentrate on his self-training and let his emotions work towards that. He would talk to Hermione tomorrow, and try to smooth things over. He didn't want to lose her friendship because of his snappy moods. So, squaring his shoulder and breathing deeply, he raised his hands, and started again more determinedly.

**

* * *

**

**April 2**

Like any other thing that spurred the gossip mill on, Harry and Hermione's argument was around the school the next day fairly early. He ignored the stares at breakfast, more concerned with talking to Hermione who never showed up for breakfast. Ron was awkward and uncomfortable around him, not wanting to choose between them, he had said, and not wanting to anger him, Harry knew. Half of Gryffindor was uncomfortable around him that morning. According to another girl a year below them, Hermione had left that morning for breakfast, but apparently never showed up. Harry decided to check the library after breakfast. Walking there now he tried to decide what he would say to the girl; something to fix the damage done, and hopefully not aggravate the situation further. He just had to try and keep his temper under control.

Reaching the library he took a deep, steadying breath, grasped the doorknob and swung it open, stepping inside. He immediately began searching for that familiar bushy brown hair, but saw it nowhere. He walked in further, and then saw what he was looking for in a far corner of the room. There were stacks upon stack of books piled high, but not high enough to hide the brown hair that he knew belonged to Hermione Granger. He headed towards the table, and sighed softly, sitting across from her. There was a long moment of silence as he looked at her, or rather the back of the book she held.

"Hermione?" he said quietly at last, breaking the long tense silence. There was nothing but quiet for another moment, and just when Harry thought she wasn't going to talk to him he heard a quiet, "yes?" from behind the book.

"I'm sorry," he said just as quietly. He knew it was barely adequate compared to the argument they'd had, but it was all he could think of. He watched the back of the book until Hermione lowered and looked at him, brown eyes sad.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. "It's just that it feels like you're slipping away from us; all the secrets, all the need to be alone. If you're struggling, I just want to help, but you won't let me, or Ron. I felt a bit useless with all my failed attempts previously so I turned to the only other person I could think of. Why won't you let someone help you if you're not doing okay?"

He sighed, and looked away from her, his eyes fixing on a book to his left, sighed again, and looked back. _Where to start? What to say?_ "Hermione, I'm used to dealing with things on my own, always have been and, though I appreciate your concern for me, I want to – need to – help myself deal with it all. You cornering me and demanding I open up and spill everything wrong with me, it only makes me upset. Even though I know its not, it makes me think that you and Ron think I can't do anything on my own, to cope on my own. You can offer a chance to talk when I'm ready, but pressuring me isn't going to help. Do you think you could just back off and let me deal on my own, and I'll come to you or Ron when – and if – I need to?" he finished, looking at her closely. He had kept his voice low and calm, determined not to blow up and start another yelling match.

Hermione looked at him closely for a long time in silence, eyes searching his. Harry looked back, waiting. Finally she sighed. "I was just trying to help Harry. I thought...maybe you weren't as alright as you said, and just didn't want to tell us. I never thought it could just be your way of dealing. I've know you for six year and yet, I haven't fully realized this until we've shouted horrible things at each other. What kind of friend am I?"

"A good one," he said simply, because it was the truth.

"I guess, but I still almost drove you away. I will let you deal with things on your own Harry," she said, and reached a hand across the table to touch his. "Just know that Ron and I are here when you need us." She gave him a small smile which he returned.

"Of course Hermione. So, are we okay now?" he asked. Hermione nodded and smile warmly, and Harry knew that things were okay, if not back to normal for now.

* * *

Draco stood on the balcony of his room staring into the black night sky with vacant eyes. It wasn't the first time since he'd been home for break that he'd done this. This, though, had been far worse than Draco could've ever predicted it to be. He absently scratched at an old concealed cut on his arm, as his gaze roamed the sky. He watched the stars twinkle brightly against the black background, and wished the nauseous feeling that had tormented him for three days would go away. 

He had expected the extensive talks about his inheritance, and what responsibilities came with it. He had been prepared for the talk of what it meant to be a Malfoy, and what was about to be passed into his hands because of being said Malfoy. Those had all been expected; he had been prepared to sit and listen to the lectures of what being a Malfoy meant. No real problem there, it was all familiar territory to him. What he hadn't expected was to receive a mission passed down from the Dark Lord. Neither, was he prepared for what the mission entailed. It was inconceivable, and yet not, that his mother would use him in such a way, but it still HURT. And the objectives of his mission made him uncomfortable and angry, and want to destroy something. He'd been feeling a range of emotions since discovering what he was assigned to do, and at the moment he was feeling empty, hollow.

His mission? He was to spy on Severus and find out where his true loyalties lay. He remembered that particular conversation three days ago with vicious clarity, and his stomach still churned at it.

**Flashback**

He sat with his mother in the lounge on the first floor having tea and biscuits, and speaking about nothing in particular. Draco watched as his mother took a dainty sip of her tea, saw the sharp look that gleamed in her eyes, and steeled himself for whatever was to come. He didn't expect the words that came from her mouth.

"Draco, you know your first loyalties are to the family and the Dark Lord, correct?" she asked, and Draco nodded feeling wary and uncomfortable. This was the first time he was mentioned since he'd gotten there. "And you also know that, as a Malfoy, and because of this, you have priorities above certain others, responsibilities that take precedence over others, yes?" he nodded again feeling uneasy, and even more wary.

"Therefore you will have no problem with the mission the Dark Lord has set for you. An honor as he usually doesn't set tasks to someone your age. Remember, you have loyalty to our Lord, and your father, and I, over any other, and you DO wish to make us proud, do you not?" Draco nodded, and then cleared his throat at his mother's raised brow.

"Yes mother, yours and father's pride and approval are all I seek. I know I haven't made you two very proud in the past, but I am ready to do anything to do so now," Draco was extremely happy his voice was steady as he spoke. The words left a bad taste in his mouth and a disgusting churning in his stomach. He felt like he may be violently ill, but kept his face impassive.

"Wonderful darling," Narcissa drawled, and the look in her eyes made him even more uncomfortable. "Our Lord wants you to spy on Severus and discover where his true loyalties lay. I know he is your godfather," she sneered. "and Merlin knows why we named him that, but you have loyalties that rest before him, and you WILL carry out this mission." Draco had tried to keep an impassive face as his mother talked, but he could feel his eyes widening and was sure he may have paled a bit. Spy on Severus, his godfather? He felt his stomach churn again with rising sickness and struggled to keep it down. He felt his heart beat increase and wondered if he was about to lose it all in front of his mother. He tried to focus on what his mother was saying again, feeling dizzy and unsettled.

"And of course the Dark Lord has offered great rewards to you if you succeed, and really Draco, it's an easy task compared to others. Do you think you can do it?" she asked, lightly mocking in her tone. Draco resisted the urge to growl at her in anger. He hated himself for what he said next.

"If he is against the Dark Lord mother than I will find out and report it to you, but it may take time. He is not very trusting, as you know, and no mother, not even to me. But I will try and find the answer," he said.

"Do, Draco, not try, but do! We can't have a traitor and potential spy in our midst," she said sharply. Draco nodded feeling sick and sad, and just plain angry.

**End Flashback**

He had been feeling empty since that morning, realizing that by tomorrow afternoon he would be back at Hogwarts, and supposedly starting his mission. His mother had asked him about any information he already had, if any, which was none. He and Severus rarely talked about the Dark Lord, and therefore, Draco knew next to nothing about Severus's loyalties aside from that of the Dark Lord which Draco couldn't hold against him. Severus hadn't pressured him with talk of the Dark Lord and how great he is, and of joining him, not like Lucius, and Draco was grateful for that. If anyone's opinion mattered anymore it was Severus Snape's, but Draco didn't know if he could spy on the man. Or if he was a Death Eater he could follow in Severus's steps.

He was too hurt and angry and confused now with everything coming at him. He felt trapped, cornered, like he had no way out which was ridiculous to think because he was sure there was a way out somehow. He had suspicions that maybe Severus wasn't so loyal to the Dark Lord, but they were only suspicions, and that was a big maybe. He just wasn't sure what to do. If Severus really was spying on the Dark Lord he did not want to give the man up and blow his cover. The idea of betraying his godfather was more uncomfortable than the thought of betraying his parents. And to betray Severus to anyone, really, but to the Dark Lord especially made him feel ill.

Looking at the sky, he shifted on his feet and felt a spark of anger within him. It wasn't unusual to feel random bursts of emotions in the last few days. Right now, though, the emotion was anger. _Did I not endure enough at the hands of my father that I must give up the man who is slowly filling that spot?_ He thought as he sighed and leaned back against the wall. _How could my mother truthfully ask me to do such a thing knowing how much I look up to him?_ It wasn't a new thought, none of them were. He'd gone though so many of these questions and ideas that he was thinking in circles.

He had thought that maybe this was a test, and that all that 'Make us proud' spiel was to make sure he went through with his mission. Unfortunately for his mother and father, he was less inclined to make them proud anymore, but slightly unfortunately for him was that a small piece of him still wanted to strive for that. And he was slightly torn between the two. He'd never felt like this before, never had to deal with something so big – not counting his choice not to join the Death Eaters – and he didn't know if he could do this, spy on Severus.

And all of this was making him tired, exhausted really, and sick to his stomach. He'd been filled with rage at some points and so ready to break down and cry like a child at others that he felt nothing but empty that whole day since waking that morning. His mother had also decided that he could use a bit of training on spells good for spying on people, and he had spent the majority of the past two days learning and practicing these spells with his mother.

Shaking his head, he turned and walked back into his bedroom, closing the balcony doors behind him. Tomorrow he would be returning to Hogwarts, and for now, he decided to leave the decision undecided. Let his mother think he had agreed. Getting under his covers, he turned on his side and clutched his pillow to him.

It was another restless night for him as sleep evaded him for the third night in a row.


	22. Draco’s Return

Sorry, again, for the lateness of this chapter. There's been a lot going on that has kept me from posting. First off, I just found out about a week or two ago that my dad has cancer, on top of that, I am a diabetic and havent been feeling to well lately. So, I will gladly take any complaints on the lateness of this and probably the next two or three chapters. Thank you all for sticking with me and this story for so long. Now onto the chapter...

* * *

Chapter 22: Draco's Return

Draco walked to the fireplace and reached for the pot of floo powder, grabbing a small amount into his hand. It had been arranged that he would floo back to Hogwarts to Severus's rooms. The fireplace would be open for one minute in which he was to leave before the connection was broken. Standing before the fireplace, Draco could feel the weight of his mother's stare on his back, and he held himself stiffly under its force.

"Remember your mission, Draco," she drawled, her voice smooth and light. "Do not fail." He forced himself to turn and look at her, eyes guarded and face expressionless.

"I will do as you and our Lord wish, mother," Draco replied evenly. She nodded, and he returned it before turning around and tossing the powder into the fireplace, and calling out his destination. He stepped into the green flames and watched as his mother spun away, as he traveled several grates before emerging gracefully into the rooms of his godfather.

"Welcome back, Draco," Severus greeted, and Draco looked up from dusting his clothes off.

"Hello, Severus," Draco said, striving to make his voice calm. He guessed he succeeded fairly well when the man smiled slightly.

"You're just in time for lunch, have you eaten?" Draco shook his head, finding it hard to be there with his mission so heavily on his mind. "Lunch will be served soon then, if you're hungry," Severus said walking from the fireplace. Draco followed behind him.

"I'm not hungry, Severus, I'm just going to go to my room and put my things away. Maybe rest a bit also," he shrugged. Severus raised an eyebrow at this, looking at him closely.

"Come back later then. I wish to talk with you," Severus said, still looking at him shrewdly. It made Draco slightly uncomfortable and a bit irritated. He nodded, though, and forced a small smile.

"I'll be by before dinner," Draco said, as he was leaving the room. He was glad to not run into anyone on the way to his room, and immediately upon entrance he enlarged his bags and set them aside. He ignored everything else and headed directly towards his bedroom. From there, he went to his trunk and opened it, canceling the Concealment Charm, and opening the hidden compartment. He pulled out the dagger that rested in the invisible pocket and fell back on his arse on the floor.

He hadn't thought he would need it during those five days, no matter how much he hated his mother, but as soon as he heard about his mission he had wished for it. He knew he could have used something else, or that he could have just transfigured something, but he hadn't. He didn't know why, though, considering how desperate he had been for the cold, sharp blade.

Shaking his head, Draco took off his robe and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He didn't bother taking the Concealment Charm off himself, too in need to waste anymore time. He pressed the blade to his skin and held it there for a moment, before he dragged it, slowly, diagonally, across his wrist. Immediately, blood began to bloom from the cut, slowly trickling down his arm. But, he didn't stop, and made another cut atop that one, diagonally, the other way.

More blood began to trickle down his arm, sliding over the sides and onto his pants. He ignored it, and made another cut atop the others staining his pale skin in more red blood. He felt his despair and the cold helplessness retreat some; felt the tumult of emotions that had been running through him for three days begin to recede from the surface. He felt less suffocated and cornered, and he sighed. He stared at the blood that dripped down his arm in big drops.

_What am I going do?_ Draco thought, watching the red liquid impassively. What was he going to do? He still hadn't decided, but he knew he didn't want to spy on Severus. Problem was his mother expected him to write her with anything he found out about his godfather. He knew he could write and tell her he had found nothing, but his mother would become suspicious after awhile, and he couldn't afford for that to happen. He was stuck in a hard place, indeed.

Sighing, he picked up his wand and cast a cleaning charm to get rid of the blood on himself and his clothes. He caressed the blade of the dagger with a finger, almost tenderly, before putting it back in the secret pocket of his trunk and recasting the Concealment Charm. He picked up his robe, dropped it on top of the trunk and fell onto his bed.

He felt a little light headed from the blood loss, but his mind was clearer than before. He still wasn't sure about anything, though his mind was in a slightly more peaceful state to be able to think about everything. Rubbing his temples with his finger tips, Draco thought of his options for what seemed like the millionth time. The best idea he could decided upon was to either spy or not spy on Severus, but send his mother letters with either false information or the truth – that he hadn't found anything out. That was a good idea for the time being, until his mother got impatient with his 'lack of progresses' in his mission. Fortunately, she had much better patience than his father, and he knew he could use this tactic for a good bit of time.

The other problem lay in what to tell his godfather. He figured it was probably better to tell him what was going on for his safety, but the thought of informing the man who was more like a father than his real one that he was under watch for being a potential traitor made him feel uncomfortable. Besides, he didn't know if Severus was completely loyal to the Dark Lord, or not. And as he was sure he didn't want to be a Death Eater, did he really want to put himself at a disadvantage, and let known – even to Severus, whom he trusted – that he didn't want to join the Dark Lord? That he didn't want to be a servant of some maniacal wizard, especially if Severus _was_ loyal to said maniacal wizard?

_No,_ he decided, staring at the canopy of his bed, he didn't want to put himself in that position. Even with his godfather. Not until he found out what side he was really on. And that would best be discovered by spying on Severus. Seemed like it would come to that, no matter what he really wanted. _Maybe I could spy on Severus just enough to find out his loyalty?_ He had to look out for himself here, after all _his_ life would be on the line, no matter what Severus's loyalties were.

So, he would spy on Severus to determine his loyalty for his own sake, and give his mother false information to keep her satisfied.

Draco sighed, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately, and pinched the bridge of his nose. _When the fuck did my life become so bloody complicated?_ he wondered, with no small amount of irritation or desperation. He grunted and rolled over onto his side, deciding to rest for a bit, before he had to contend with his godfather.

* * *

Severus knew there was something wrong with his godson the second he had entered from the floo; it was only too obvious by the rigid way he had held himself. Draco only stood that way when he was either angry about something or something was plaguing him too deeply to let him relax. Severus was suspicious and concerned about what could have happened to Draco the past five day's.

He had thought over it all through lunch, and now, sitting in his quarters, he puzzled over what could have happened at the manor these last five days. He ruled out Narcissa harming Draco physically in any way, because as much as she was a cold person towards her son, she had never laid a hand on him, preferring to let her husband do it. And even with Lucius currently incarcerated, he didn't think Narcissa would take up her husband's role. She was too much the aristocratic, pampered princess to do anything physical like that unless she absolutely had no other choice.

Then again, maybe it was just being back home and around his mother. He was always a bit more agitated when coming back to Hogwarts after summer vacation, which hadn't changed with Lucius's arrest. But he didn't think he was seeing more into it. When it came to Lucius or Narcissa one could never see too much into anything involving them. And that was why he was so concerned with what could have happened these last five days.

A series of knocks at his door startled him from his thoughts, and he looked up at dark wood. "Come in," he said shortly, and a second later Draco stepped into room. He watched as the boy closed the door, and walked over to fall into the chair opposite him. Severus quirked an eyebrow, and looked at the blond calmly.

"Did you have an eventful time at the manor?" Severus asked.

Draco looked up from the low burning fire, and shrugged. "It was okay. Exactly what I thought it would be about; my inheritance, and all the wonderful little things that come with it," Draco said sarcastically. "What about you, Severus?"

The Potions Master grimaced at the question, his mind flicking back to that prank that he was positive Potter had something to with. "These last five days have been a trial in patience. Potter pulled some childish prank on the school that the Headmaster refuses to acknowledge that Potter was behind," he sneered, still upset that his hair had been red and gold. Draco looked at him curiously, a smirk struggling to work its way onto his face.

"And what was Potter's prank?" Draco asked. Severus frowned at him, not finding his amusement anything but irritating. "Ah, come on Severus! I just spent five days discussing and being lectured at about my inheritance and the responsibilities of a Malfoy when I come of age. I need a laugh, even if Potter is the cause of it," Draco complained lightly, smirk evident on his face now.

Severus sighed, irritated, but told Draco about what had happened grudgingly. When he was done, Draco was clutching his stomach and laughing loudly, tears falling from his eyes. Severus was torn between relief to see his godson laughing and annoyance that he was laughing at him. He settled on glaring at the blond. Draco looked at him and laughed harder.

"If you're quite finished," Severus snapped when the blond's mirth didn't die down.

"Sorry Severus," Draco said between chuckles. "It's just…imagining you with red and gold hair and McGonagall with green and silver," he broke off into another bout of laughter. "Wish I had been here to see it!"

"I'm sure," was Severus's dry reply. "So, how is your mother?" Draco's laughter stopped immediately, and he looked startled by the abrupt change in conversation. It had been what Severus had been going for – the act of surprise to unbalance the boy a bit. He watched as Draco's face cleared, falling into an expressionless mask.

"She's fine," the blond said flatly. "Same as usual; cold, indifferent, and regaling tales of travels she's taken while I've been at school." Draco turned back to the fire, and stared into the flames.

Severus stared at his profile for a moment, letting the silence surround them. While his face was blank, there was no hiding the sudden tightness to the boy's features. Oh yes, Severus was sure something more than what Draco had said, had happened. But getting Draco to talk wasn't going to happen. Whatever it had been, it was a heavy burden for the blond. He briefly toyed with the idea of using Legilimency, but dismissed it. Draco had taken lessons in occlumency from Lucius, not to mention himself. While Draco wasn't perfect at it he was good enough at it. Besides, Severus knew Draco trusted few people, and he didn't want to abuse the trust his godson had in him.

Casting a quiet _Tempus_, he saw that it was close to dinner time. "You're coming to dinner, I presume?" Severus said, looking at Draco who looked lost in thought. The blond looked up, blinked, and then nodded his head.

"Yes," he said quietly. Severus nodded back, and then they lapsed back into silence again. Severus decided to leave it be for now, though normally he wouldn't give up that easily. Whatever was bothering Draco, he would stand back and let Draco try and work it out on his own. He would step in if need be. Sometimes, he found, it was the best way to deal with things, especially with his godson.

* * *

He glanced at the door again, keeping an eye on his friends as well to see if they saw him doing it. Today was the day that Draco was supposed to come back, and Harry was anxious to see him. Harry turned back around, and took shoved a fork full of food into his mouth, chewing it absently.

While things among the trio had basically gone back to normal, there was still a tension there that was all too evident to the three, even if it wasn't to anyone else. They were struggling past it, and it was hard with all the other things that had passed between them. It seemed to hang like some invisible blanket over the three of them. Harry held himself back from sighing aloud, wondering when things in his life had turned upside down so much, and what the hell would happen next.

"Oh great," Harry heard Ron groan quietly, and he looked up at the redhead. "Looks like Malfoy is back early." Harry looked up towards the Great Hall doors to see Draco walking towards the Slytherin table, and frowned slightly. The blond looked a bit haggard, though it wasn't too obvious. There was stiffness to the other's stance, and tightness to his face that wasn't so prominent the last time Harry had seen him, or so he thought. And Harry absently wondered when he started watching the other so closely. He looked back down to his plate and forked a bit more into his mouth. He looked up again when Hermione began to speak.

"Why are you wondering why he's back so early? I'm sure there are no bad reasons for it. Besides, Malfoy has been pretty tame so far this year, if you remember. He only called me a mudblood twice, and that was in the very beginning of the year," she said. Harry stared at her, as did Ron, vaguely realizing he hadn't seen this little revelation before now. Draco still insulted them when they crossed paths to keep up appearances – and, really, he didn't like Ron and Hermione anyway – but Harry hadn't realized the blond _hadn't_ called Hermione a mudblood in so long.

Harry wasn't naïve, though, by any means. He didn't believe for one second that Draco did it out of respect for him, of course, but he did wonder why the other hadn't used the term so much. Narrowing his eyes, Harry turned his gaze back to the blond for a moment, even as he listened to the conversation going on.

"That doesn't mean anything," Ron said with a snort. "He's still a slimy bastard."

"Well, yes, he's still an annoying brat, but that doesn't change the fact that he _hasn't _called me a mudblood in awhile," Hermione replied with that resolute tone.

"No, it doesn't. But why? He could call you that any time he wanted to, but he hasn't," Harry said absently, not really having to fake his curiosity. He really wanted to know the reason, but he wouldn't bring it up to Draco. It was better to leave well enough alone with that subject. He looked away from Draco, and turned back towards his friends. Hermione was looking at him thoughtfully, and glancing at the Slytherin table. Harry tensed, wondering if Hermione knew something, or was figuring out something he'd rather her not.

"Who knows?" she said slowly, before shaking her head, and shrugging. Harry let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Who bloody _cares_?" Ron quipped with a roll of his eyes, shoving food into his mouth.

_I do_, Harry thought. Hermione huffed at Ron, and muttered something unintelligible, but the topic was dropped. The rest of dinner passed in lighter conversation.

As they were walking out of the Great Hall, Harry felt a light brush down his arm to his hand where something was place, and he looked up just as Draco walked past with Crabbe and Goyle. The blond didn't look back. Harry slipped the note into his pocket to read once he got a chance.

The trio went back to the Tower and Harry excused himself briefly to read the note. Draco had asked him to come to his rooms tonight, and Harry felt a smile pull at his lips. He would admit, if only to himself, that he had missed the blond. He went back down to the common room soon after and spent time with his friends until everyone began heading to bed. He went to his own dorm and waited for Ron to fall asleep, before grabbing his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauders Map, and then making his way silently from the Tower after charming his curtains shut. Glancing at the map every once and awhile, he made his way down into the dungeons, having to dodge Filch and Mrs. Norris in the process.

He stealthily made his way to Draco's room, and looked around cautiously, before knocking on the portrait frame. He deactivated and pocketed the map while he waited. It was a moment before the portrait cracked open, and Harry slipped through it. He took off his cloak once the portrait was closed again, and had hardly gotten three steps before he was slammed against the wall. A mouth was immediately on his, kissing him hard and almost desperately, arms wounding around his shoulders.

Harry was momentarily shocked by the abrupt action, staring wide-eyed at the pale bit of forehead and blond hair, before closing his eyes and sliding his arms around the lithe body and kissing Draco back. He was definitely surprised about the desperate way Draco was kissing him, and it only increased his suspicion that something was wrong with the blond. Five days wasn't long enough for Draco to kiss him like this. Shutting out all thought for a moment, Harry slid his tongue alongside Draco's, tightening his hold briefly.

Draco finally eased off the kiss and pulled back, resting his forehead against Harry's shoulder. Harry leant his head back against the wall, looking at the blond through hooded eyes. Both were breathing heavily.

When his breathing was back under control, Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "What was that about? Not that I'm not happy you're back," Harry said quietly, beginning to run a hand through blond strands of hair. He felt more than heard Draco sigh against his shoulder.

"Nothing," Draco drawled the word out, stepping back from him. There was a slight smile on his face, but Harry wasn't fooled. He dropped his arms from around the blond's waist, and looked at him closely. "What?"

"Something's wrong," Harry said flatly, not taking his eyes off of Draco's. "I noticed it when you came into the Great Hall, and I can tell now too." Draco said nothing, but the slight tightening of skin around his eyes and mouth, almost unnoticeable, were a testament of either Draco's annoyance, or whatever was really bothering the other boy.

"I told you, nothing's wrong. I meant it," Draco repeated with a shrug, turning from Harry and walking towards the chair by the fire and flopping down into it. Harry snorted, and bent to pick up the fallen items, before making his way over towards the couch and sprawling on it.

"Liar," Harry commented easily, looking at the ceiling. "You looked upset when you came into the Great Hall. And we're alike, in that we always say we're fine when really, there's something wrong." There was an annoyed sighed in the general direction of where the Slytherin was sitting, and a small shift as the blond moved in the chair.

"You know what I told you about my mother! It was bloody stressful being around her for five days after spending almost no time with her during the summer. I didn't have to endure the woman's presence then, but had to for five days straight, alone. Of _course_ I may seem a little tense. Give me a break, Harry," Draco said in irritation.

Harry turned over onto his side, and looked at the Slytherin hard. "Are you sure nothing happened, Draco?" Harry asked skeptically, knowing he was probably pushing it.

"Bloody hell, Potter," Draco snapped, glaring at him. Harry merely stared back having learned to deal with Draco's moods by now, as Draco did him. "I said I was fine! Let it go," he said, scowling. Harry sighed, but mentally conceded. He didn't like to be pushed to talk when he didn't want to, and he wasn't going to do it to Draco. Instead, he rose smoothly from the couch, eyes still locked on Draco's, and walked the few paces to where the blond sat. He clutched the arms of the chair, and leaned slightly over the sitting boy.

There were still vestiges of anger in the gray eyes, but Harry didn't let that discourage him. He leaned down slowly, holding Draco's eyes, before closing his own as he pressed his lips gently against Draco's. There was a moment where Draco didn't react, and then he began to reciprocate. Harry bit softly into Draco's bottom lip, to which Draco gave a soft sigh, opening his mouth. Harry eased his tongue in, flicking it against the others. Harry moved one hand from the chair to entangle in Draco's hair as he deepened the kiss.

He could still feel the tension in Draco's body, and he sighed; partly in pleasure from the kiss, and partly in weary acceptance. Draco was way too tense and in need of a little distraction from whatever was bothering him. He ended the kiss with a lingering one to the corner of the blond's mouth. Draco's eyes opened, and he stared back at him silently. Harry rubbed a thumb gently over Draco's temple, before slowly trailing his hand down cheek and jaw, and neck and chest until he reached the top of blue silk pajama bottoms.

He was a little nervous about what he planned to do; Draco and he having gone no further than hand jobs. But this had been on his mind, along with other things, but Harry pushed _those_ thoughts away for the moment. He had done it a few times before, during the summer, but was surely no expert at it. Swallowing his nervousness, Harry leaned down to Draco's ear, and whispered, "Lift up a bit." Draco looked at him with wide eyes, but did as he was told. Harry hooked his fingers in the waistband and tugged them down.

It was slightly new what they were about to go into; they'd touched the other without the barrier of clothing, but had never actually seen each other naked, shirtless, yes, but not naked. When he had the pants tugged down slightly, and Draco was situated back into his seat, Harry felt that nervous trying to creep into him again. He stamped it down relentlessly, as he took a deep breath, and knelt in front of a wide eyed Slytherin. If someone would have told him five months ago that he would be in this position with Draco Malfoy, of all people, he would have laughed in their face, and possibly hexed them. But here he was, on his knees before Draco Malfoy about to give him a blow job. A burst of laughter, most likely hysterical, bubbled up in his throat, and he swallowed again.

"Harry," Draco said quietly. He looked surprised and slightly dazed, Harry noticed, before he leaned forward and kissed the blond passionately.

"Shh," he breathed when he'd pulled back. He trailed kisses down Draco's jaw and neck, even as he finished tugging the pants down to Draco's calves. He trailed his hands lightly up the blond's thighs as he bit gently, but firmly at a spot on Draco's neck. He pulled back as his hand reached the hard length of Draco's cock, and, with one last look at Draco's face, Harry looked down at his hand.

Not being an expert on measurements, Harry couldn't say whether Draco was bigger than average or not, but Draco wasn't as thick as some he had scene, and he was uncut. He bit his lip, and glanced up at the blond through his fringe and lashes, feeling remarkably shy, before leaning forward and running the flat of his tongue from base to head. Draco sucked in a breath sharply. Circling his tongue around the tip, he pulled his hand up from the base slowly and then back down, pulling the foreskin back in the process. He swirled his tongue around the tip again, before taking just that much into his mouth.

Above him, Draco made an inarticulate sound, sliding a hand into his hair. Harry felt the long fingers weave through his hair, and, feeling encouraged, he gave a firm suck to the head of Draco's penis. He vaguely heard a deep moan from Draco as he took a bit more of Draco into his mouth, shaping his tongue to the underside. He pulled back up, sucking as he went before going back down and taking a bit more in. He wasn't that skilled at this, at least in his opinion, and if you asked him, he'd tell you he was mediocre at best.

He moved his hand in tandem with his mouth, applying firm suction, and a firm grip of both lips and hand, relaxing his throat at every bit he took in. Draco cried out, tugging on his hair, and mumbled something that Harry didn't really understand. He dismissed it and moved his other hand to fondle Draco's balls, rolling them in his hand, and ignoring his own erection. He could taste pre-come, bitter and salty, but not altogether unpleasant, on his tongue, and he moaned lightly around Draco as he went.

"Harry, fuck! Do that again," Draco groaned, thrusting shallowly into Harry's mouth. Harry gently scraped his teeth against the underside of Draco's cock again getting a strangled sound from the blond. He took as much of Draco in as possible, bobbing his head up and down Draco's length. Using the hand on Draco's balls, he moved his hand until he was pressing a finger against that spot just behind Draco's balls. Pulling his mouth up a bit, but still moving his other hand up and down Draco's shaft, he massaged that spot, and sucked firmly on Draco's penis.

Draco whimpered above him, thrust up, and came with a long, drawn-out moan. Harry tried to swallow, but couldn't take it all, and some spilled from the corner of his mouth. When the blond was spent and had sagged back into the chair, releasing his hair in the process, Harry pulled off Draco and wiped his mouth. He reached for his wand from the pocket of his discarded hoodie, and cast a quick cleaning charm, noticing his voice was raspy and hoarse. He was stalling at having to look at Draco, and he knew it. He stayed knelt on the floor, nervous about what the other would say, and achingly hard. He rose and sat back down on the couch. Finally though, he looked up at Draco, and saw that the blond was flushed and breathing heavily, looking back at him with a slightly dazed looked in his eyes.

"I, er, just thought you could use a bit of stress relief," Harry half-mumbled shyly, trying to sound casual, and failing.

"Harry," Draco began slowly, looking a bit more focused. "That was…bloody amazing! Where the hell did that come from?" Draco exclaimed.

"You mean…it wasn't bad?" Harry asked carefully.

"No, it was really good," Draco replied.

"Uh, alright then," Harry said simply, nodding his head. Draco graced him with a smile, one of those smiles that he didn't give often.

"But, you know what?" Draco asked, pulling up his pants, and rising from his chair. Harry felt curious, as Draco walked towards him, and looked down at him.

"What?" Harry asked. Draco smirked, and knelt in front of him, putting his hands on Harry's knees and rubbing lightly. Harry's breath hitched.

"I think I should return the favor, don't you?" Draco practically purred, moving his hands up Harry's thighs. Harry stared at the blond as one hand reached the waistband of the pajama bottoms he wore, and the other began to rub firmly over the bulge in his pants. Harry moaned lightly at this, and thrust a bit into the hand. Without being asked, Harry raised his hips off the couch some, and Draco pulled them down, exposing his hard penis.

Draco pulled the pants down to his ankles, before leaning forward and kissing him firmly, deeply, on the mouth. Clutching a hand around the base of his erection, Draco began to stroke firmly as they kissed. Harry moaned as those long fingers and that smooth palm caressed his erection, squeezing lightly in different places. Harry placed a hand around Draco's neck, and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss. Draco pulled back, smiled at him, and took him into his mouth.

As Draco worked him, bobbing his head slowly, and stroking his length with his hand, Harry threaded his fingers into the soft blond hair. The other hand was thrown across the back of the couch, and his head was leant backwards as he panted for breath. Draco sucked him in deep, and then hummed lightly.

Harry jerked and hissed at the sensation. "Oh bloody hell," he breathed out through clenched teeth. If his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied, Harry was sure Draco would be smirking for all he was worth at his reaction.

Draco pulled back up until only the head was still in his mouth and sucked, flicking his tongue into the slit. Harry cried out loudly, and thrust into that warm mouth. He felt Draco moan as his hand moved from his thigh to his balls, rolling them in his fingers. Harry shuddered out a breath, feeling the tight coil of arousal in his belly. And when Draco took him in deep again and hummed around him, Harry felt his orgasm crashing into him, felt himself tensing and then coming hard with a loud groan. He struggled to open his eyes, and then he looked down at the cascade of blond hair in his lap and at the slightly bobbing head.

When Draco finally pulled off him, he looked up at Harry and was licking his lips with a satisfied look in his eyes. The sight was fascinating. Draco's lips were red and swollen, his cheeks were flushed, his eyes were hazy and his hair was mussed. Without a second thought Harry leaned down and thoroughly kissed the blond, tasting himself on the others tongue.

When oxygen became a necessity they pulled back, and both were panting. When Harry got his breathing under control, he grinned at Draco. "Wow," he said dazedly, and felt himself blush at what he said. Draco looked amused.

"I'm guessing you liked it," Draco sounding smug and amused as he looked at him with a smirk. Harry glared half-heartedly, before smirking also and pulling Draco in for a hard kiss.

"Smug prat," Harry muttered when they pulled back again. Draco was now leaning over his lap between his legs with his elbows on either side of his thighs. Draco's weight was pressed comfortably on him as he rested there.

"Are you staying tonight?" Draco asked after a moment, tone light. Harry bit his lip, and then nodded slowly. "Yeah, I am. But I'll have to get up early to get back to the Tower."

"Hmm," Draco said noncommittally. "I have a question for you, Harry. Where'd you learn to do that anyway?"

Harry looked at him startled, before flushing pink. "I told you about my summer," Harry said evasively.

"Yes, you have, but I want to know about where you learned to give a blow job. It can't be natural talent. You're naturally good at many things, Harry, but I doubt this is one of them," Draco said, quirking an eyebrow. Harry flushed deeper, and shifted as best he could. Draco grinned, and rose from the floor, sitting on the couch with his back to the arm. He looked expectantly at Harry, a smirk playing on his face. Harry sighed, and sat in a similar pose after pulling his pants back on, half facing Draco.

"You remember what I've told you about my summer, right? Well, one of Andrea's friends was this guy named Jake. At the time I was still struggling with the fact that I found boys attractive, and I really thought he looked good. He had short blond hair, and blue eyes. He noticed my interest in him, and we talked. I wanted to know things that I didn't know how to ask anyone else; how did you know you liked boys? When did you realize it? Things like that. We talked, and he helped me understand and accept it a bit better, that I liked boys. And he also," Harry coughed, and could feel himself blushing. "taught me a few things, gave me a few tips." It had been an experience all on its own. He had learned much from Jake in the short time they spent together. He would say that the other was his first actual crush on a boy. They hadn't gone pass blow jobs, but Harry was grateful for what the other boy had helped him with, sexual experience aside. Jake had helped him slowly begin to come to terms with being bisexual.

"So, this Jake person helped you accept you were attracted to your own gender – as well as girls – and taught you how to give head properly," Draco stated, looking at him. Harry nodded, realizing it might some a little weird. "I didn't really have anyone to reassure me about liking my own gender, not really, but I did have someone who instructed me on pleasing another boy. So I guess I can understand."

"But you've come to terms with it," Harry pointed out, the hint of a question in his voice. Draco frowned, but then nodded slowly.

"Yeah I have, but it was also helped along by the thought of rebelling against my parents. Stupid, I know, but my parents always talked about the day I would marry some pureblood witch and create an heir to carry on the Malfoy line. In the beginning I didn't think anything else, but as the abuse came – and as I got older – I began to think for myself. I started to question things." Draco sighed, and then smiled a bit sardonically. "I'm a tad fucked up."

Harry chuckled at this statement from the blond. "You're not the only one," Harry smiled wryly, nudging Draco's calf. A wide yawn broke from him, and he covered his mouth. Draco chuckled.

"Come on, I can see you're tired," Draco said. They rose from the couch, and headed to Draco's bedroom. Harry was already in a loose pair of sleep pants and a short sleeved shirt, and since Draco was already in his bed clothes they climbed into the bed. They arranged themselves so Draco lay on his stomach with an arm thrown across Harry, who lay on his back. The two drifted off to sleep not long after.


	23. Pranks, An Old Man’s Musings, and Saying

Hey everyone! Once again, sorry for the length of wait for this chapter. I will try to update sooner, but I can't promise anything. I've got a lot going on and trying to get these chapters out at the same time is rough. I am determined to finish this story and start working on the sequel. There is going to be a sequel! I don't know how long after I finish RC that the sequel will be out, but I will try my hardest to get it out soon after. But, since I'm such a bad author with updates, I will give you a hint of what is to come. In a few chapters - I'm not telling which one - Harry and Draco's secret will come out. They are soon to be discovered as self-mutilators. I have the chapter written up and will begin typing it soon. Chapters 24 and 25 are already typed up, I just need to go over them for any errors or mistakes. So, hold tight. I promise I will finish this story. I haven't put my blood, sweat and tears - and possible a body part or two - into this, to not finish it. Just keep the reviews coming! shameless begging And now onto the chapter.

Does anyone even read these author's notes?

* * *

Chapter 23: Pranks, An Old Man's Musings, and Saying Goodbye

_**April 4, 1997**_

**_I know something's wrong with Draco. I noticed it when he entered the Great Hall yesterday. I also knew that asking him would probably get me nowhere. I had to try though. We're close, yeah, but there are times when certain subjects make us get defensive, and we'll close up. That's the reason I dropped it after awhile. It's better to let him cool down and get himself together. He knows I'll listen if he wants to talk about it. _**

**_So, to take his mind off of his problems, I gave him a blow job. I'm not THAT experienced with it, but Draco seemed to enjoy it just fine. And if I know him at all, then he wasn't lying. Draco tells you how it is and doesn't sugarcoat anything. If I was truly horrible he would have told me, and then "volunteered" himself as my teacher. That's just how the prat is! I'm a bit kinder about it until people start getting on my nerves, and then I snap at them. We're alike and different in some ways. Sometimes I'm kinder where he's harsher. Then, sometimes, it's the opposite way around, and I'm harsher. _**

**_We keep each other sane, he told me once, though we're both a bit unstable ourselves. I had laughed because it was true mostly. We ARE unstable. I'M unstable. I know I am. Don't know how long I've been that way, though, but the paper's got it all wrong. I'm not delusional – pretty sure on that. I'm just a torn up, confused teenager trying to make sense of things, trying to get by. I have become more open-minded, more mature I think. _**

**_For example, I finally understand why Draco is the way he is, and why he was the way he was when we first met – not saying he's completely changed, because he's not. But I do understand something. If you're raised in an environment that holds muggles and muggle-borns as inferior, and taught to believe you can have anything you want from an early age, than that's what you're going to believe. Draco was raised like this, and, wanting his parents to be proud of him, he would – of course – act like they taught him to. Another, different example is Ron. He was raised with parents who were supporters of the Light, and loving with their children. If living styles would have been switched…well, I think they may have been different – Ron and Draco. But that's just theory. _**

* * *

April 7

Draco wasn't what to expect that morning as he headed for the Great Hall, especially not, after Harry's statement that morning before he left.

"_Have a good breakfast, Draco,"_ he had said with a slightly unnerving smile on his face. The same one he had seen just before he humiliated Pansy in potions that day. And now Draco was feeling both apprehensive and curious about what to expect. He walked with Crabbe and Goyle silently on either side of him, as he thought about what Harry could have planned.

Things had been pretty quiet since he'd come back, and though he hadn't really made a move towards doing his 'mission' he was feeling a bit better about things. He didn't feel quite as off-center as before, but he wasn't completely feeling better with the situation either. Pushing thought aside, Draco stopped and looked at the Great Hall doors – that were closed. He furrowed his brow in confusion. Normally, the doors would be opened by now, and allowing students into the room to eat, but they weren't. He could hear the disgruntled murmurings of the students around him, and sighed. What Harry had done _now_, he wondered.

"Stand aside please," the voice of the Headmaster said after a few minutes, and then the man himself was cutting through the students and heading for the doors. Dumbledore stood there a moment looking at the door, before pulling his wand from his pocket and flicking it at the doors, muttering something under his breath. The doors sprung open, and Draco looked on in concealed amazement as hundreds of bubbles began floating out of the Great Hall.

A first year girl Draco didn't recognize walked up to the doors, and poked a bubble. It popped, and then the most bizarre thing occurred. With the bursting of the bubble, the loud whinnying of horses rang out through the Entrance Hall. All was silent, before someone else popped another bubble. This time giggles were heard, loud and tinkling. And then bubbles were being popped everywhere, and all manners of sounds and phrases were being broadcasted.

Draco shook his head and wondered just what Harry was thinking with this little prank. He glanced around through the bubbles and people to find that mess of black hair, and saw him standing off to the side with his friends. Draco shook his head again, amused beyond belief. Next to him he saw Crabbe reach out and pop a bubble, but what came from this one was unexpected, though no less amusing.

_My name is Cho_

_I am a hoe, and I spread my legs for fun._

_Just ask me to bend over, and I'll take it from anyone!_

The Entrance Hall erupted into gales of laughter, and Draco looked around. He knew Chang had stayed for the break, and he looked for her, wanting to see her reaction. She looked furious, embarrassed, and about ready to cry as people pointed and laughed at her, some even spitting crude sexual comments. Draco smirked to himself, and laughed along with everyone else. That little rhyme was hilarious, and the embarrassment in caused Cho Chang was even better. He felt even better than before. The crowd fell silent as another rhyme was spoken.

_Gryffindors are great; full of passion,_

_Slytherins are sly; grand for shagging._

_Ravenclaws are resourceful; full of unnecessary knowledge,_

_And Hufflepuffs are humble; full of friendly homage!_

Draco scowled at that though inside he found it incredibly funny. He wondered just who came up with that one, Harry or one of his friends.

_Spank me!_

_Lick me!_

_Dumbledore's barmy!_

_When Snape sneers…a first year pisses their pants!_

_Wet cat's are testy…just look at McGonagall!_

The phrases came and went, over lapping as each bubble spouted its words. Draco was clutching his sides and laughing so hard that it hurt. He glanced at his godfather, who was scowling as he stood beside Dumbledore. The Headmaster just looked amused with it all. He looked over towards Harry who was laughing with his friends. Draco definitely felt much better after this spectacle, and he had to make sure to thank Harry for cheering him up.

* * *

April 9

Harry had spent as much time as he could to train. Between spending time with Ron, Hermione and Ginny, and then with Draco, he somehow found time to continue his self-training. And the effects of his determination on himself were even more interesting. He felt proud of himself for one thing, and he also felt a bit lighter. Like somehow a bit of his depression had been lifted off his shoulders. He wasn't so sure if that was possible, but it was what it had felt like.

As it was, Harry had succeeded in being able to cast a number of spells wandlessly, all through practice, and trials and errors. He was infinitely proud of himself for these accomplishments. He had also taken to writing down the spells he had succeeded in casting and his progress with his training, determined as he was to train himself for his fight against Voldemort. He was so used to doing this on his own, that this didn't bother him in the least. Also, through practice, he'd found the some spells either couldn't be done wandlessly, or he just couldn't figure out how to do them. For example, _Incarcerous_ he couldn't figure out how to do. It frustrated him, and he that he'd have to break down and ask about it sooner or later, and he also figured Dumbledore was his best option. But for now he wanted to enjoy the feeling of pride he had for doing so much on his own.

Right then, Harry was sitting on the floor of his training room, breathing calmly. But he wasn't calm. He had been trying to cast the _Patronus Charm_ for half an hour now without much success, and that frustrated him to no end. He was comforted by the thought that it _was_ possible, as he had succeeded in producing wisps of white from his palm, but never the full stag. It irked him that when he had first learned to do it in third year, he had been able to cast it much more quickly, but could do so now.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself up, and stood tall, squaring his shoulders. Closing his eyes, he thought of a happy memory, keeping a clear picture of it in his mind. Taking another deep breath, he opened his eyes, only seeing the room around him vaguely.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ he watched as a white mist-like substance rose from his upturned palm and into the air a bit. It began taking shape, and Harry tried to restrain the excitement ready to burst from him. When it finally formed a stag and began prancing around, Harry let out a loud sound of happiness. He had done it! After so many failed attempts he had _done_ it. He had cast a _Patronus_ wandlessly. Harry threw his head back and laughed, not caring that the stag began to fade away – because he had done it! He felt exhilarated and alive like never before. He had succeeded in casting a spell wandlessly that many people – even others in his year – had trouble casting _with_ a wand. He began dancing around the room, singing 'I did it! I did it!" as he did so, and glad no one was around to witness it.

He finally calmed down, though his goofy smile still remained. Spreading his arms out to his sides, Harry leant his head back and sighed, a long, drawn out sigh of contentment. He looked back up and gazed around him. He wiped a hand across his sweaty forehead, pushing his hair back, and sighed again, shorter this time. Almost like a huff, really. He decided that maybe that was enough for tonight. He was exhausted; he had been working on other spells before he had decided to try and tackle the _Patronus Charm_. And now he was more tired than ever before, _and_ he had to make his way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Sitting down on the floor, Harry pulled out a spiral-bound notebook he had and opened it to the last page he had written on. It was half used with previous training notes already written down. Snatching up a pen, he quickly jotted down his progress for that night, along with a note to look up more spells he could try. That done, he put everything back into his bag, grabbed up his invisibility cloak, and made his way from the room. Once he made sure the entrance to the room was securely closed, he made his way back to the Tower. It was early morning by the time he got to sleep.

* * *

Draco sighed heavily and pulled gently on his hair with one hand. Taking a deep breath in through his mouth, and then letting it out through his nose, the blond tried to relax and focus on the book in front of his once more. He was sitting in the library and trying to finish up the last of work before the end of break. He hadn't done it during his time at the manor, though he had had the materials with him to do so. There just hadn't been anytime to do it with everything else that had been going on.

So, now, he sat at a table by himself, brow furrowed, and a hand pulling at his hair in frustration. He was having a hard time focusing, though, and that only added to his problems. Since coming back from the manor, except for that first day, he had been avoiding thinking too much about his 'mission,' which was hard considering that whenever he looked at Severus he thought about it. He shook his head and tried to focus on his charms works again, but couldn't, and tossed his quill down in disgust. Breathing evenly for a few moments, Draco finally picked his quill back up and looked to the book determinedly.

They had been studying the different types of Sleeping Charms, and he was _supposed_ to be writing a report on them. Starting at the top of the page, Draco began to read it over again and take the appropriate notes. As he wrote something in comparison with a potion, an image of Severus lying on a floor bleeding and shaking passed through his mind. Draco's hand twitched involuntarily, and the quill almost slipped from his grasp before he clutched it tighter. He glared at his hand through narrowed eyes. This was just ridiculous! Even thinking about bloody potions made him agitated. He clutched the hand without the quill into a fist, nails digging into the flesh of his palm. This just wasn't on, Draco mused, half angrily and half tiredly. Life was just making things difficult. Unfurling his hand, he rubbed at his temple with his fingertips.

He could do this, he knew he could. He was a Malfoy, after all, and therefore should be able to detach himself from the situation so he could focus on other things, like his schoolwork. Only, Draco had never been put in this type of situation before, and his father usually handled any major scrapes he got into as the man had always insisted that he, Draco, was too incompetent to do so himself. And that thought made the blond scowl fiercely. Then, he sighed and began gathering his things together. It was obviously a lost cause to try and finish. The paper was almost done anyway, and he could finish the last up tomorrow. He ran a hand through his hair as he returned the books he had been using to the shelves, and then shouldered his bag, leaving the library at a leisurely pace.

He was headed back to his room, which wasn't unusual since he had been avoiding too much contact with either his godfather or any fellow Slytherins besides Crabbe and Goyle since his return. The only other person he had much contact with was Harry, and the Gryffindor had seemed preoccupied lately, as if he had a lot on his mind. Draco had wondered what it could be, but hadn't asked. Between his own problems and wanting to give Harry the respect the other had given him by not pressing further for answer, Draco had found himself very much distracted at times.

Reaching his rooms he muttered the password and stepped inside. He decided to go, and rest a little before dinner time, hopefully ridding himself of some of the tension in the meantime.

* * *

The view from his office had always been a beautiful sight, no matter what the season was, and as long as he's occupied this room over the years, he's never tired of it. Staring out the window now and absently petting the rather lackluster looking phoenix, Albus Dumbledore was thinking. That wasn't an unusual thing for him, really, and neither was the person his thoughts revolved around. But the subject was one that was slightly strange for him to think about so much, though lately he had been thinking about it frequently. He gave Fawkes a last pat before he went and sat down in the chair at his desk.

Albus had done many things in his long years of living, many things he would consider for the greater good, while others may not find his actions to get the end result justifiable. He would agree with those people in some of those cases, especially with the recent doubts he was having concerning Harry Potter, and the decisions he had made regarding the boy.

It had all started with that prophecy Sybil Trelawney had made all those years ago, in a pub one night. He had gone hoping to find a Divination's professor, and found more than he had bargained for. Initially, he hadn't been too impressed with the woman, but when she fell into a trance and began speaking, he had changed his mind. Spoken in that hollow, hoarse tone; the prophecy that would one day change so many lives was born.

It wasn't until Voldemort had gone after the Potter's that Halloween night that Albus knew for sure, that Harry was the one the prophecy spoke of, and not Neville Longbottom. And from then on, he had focused on making sure Harry was safe. His first decision had been sending the boy to live with his aunt, and Albus still couldn't decide on whether it was really for the best or not. When he saw Harry again for the first time since leaving him at Privet Drive, he was shocked and saddened by what he had seen. It had been obvious the boy was a bit small for his age, underfed and malnourished, but there hadn't seemed to be anything worse. As long as the boy was safe and alive, it couldn't have been _too _bad.

Then there were the brief flashes of things he and Severus had seen in Harry's mind. Things that could possibly hint towards abuse, but they never actually saw evidence of it. And, to add to that, Harry seemed to have an almost subconscious control to block someone from his mind. His childhood, for one, even before he had begun to learn Occlumency was almost always inaccessible. The brief glimpses had worried him, but as far as Albus could tell the abuse didn't go further than neglect, and while that was horrible enough, he believed it was something that the boy could learn and grow from. Besides, he had protection from Death Eaters and others who wished to do him harm at the Dursley's.

That had been one the many decisions he had made concerning Harry Potter, and, while some may not have been entirely wise, they had been necessary in protecting the boy. Albus had been sure that whatever happened, Harry could handle it. Even, the old man mused, feeling a tight coil of guilt in his chest, a magical block put on his magic. Glancing towards the window and looking at the soft, blue sky, Albus wondered, not for the first time – especially lately – if _that_ decision had really been a wise idea.

He remembered James and Lily's words before their demise. Even at one year old, Harry had been displaying large and almost frequent bouts of magic. Something that was not wholly uncommon, but not strictly rare either, especially for powerful children who were going to grow into even more powerful adults. So, after careful consideration, he had placed a less powerful, but still efficient, magical block on the boy's magic. It would suppress the magic enough that Harry's magic wouldn't have been constantly out of control, without hindering him or his magical growth any. But the incident that happened that February morning had made him begin to think about his decision more closely.

Harry could have been seriously hurt that day. The risks of a magical block, no matter how diminutive in power, were great and dangerous. Because of the backlash and blockage, Harry could have easily slipped into a coma that day. Unconsciousness was better by far, but there was still that thread of worry in him that was concerned that _before_ Harry's seventeenth birthday, the boy would slip into a coma. The block wasn't set to dissolve until Harry turned seventeen.

Albus also thought that Severus may have figured it out. The man was smart, and Albus knew he read up on many things. Magical blocks, considered on the cusp between Light and Dark magic's were well-known, if not widely used. The Ministry hadn't labeled the use of them as Dark, per say, but as there have been incidents of death due to a magical block they are somewhat illegal. That was the reason he had used the lesser version of the blocks on Harry. There was less of a chance of it being dangerous enough to cause death. But that didn't relieve the guilt and worry he felt.

With a weary sigh, eyes devoid of the usual twinkle, Albus Dumbledore sat back and thought about Voldemort, the war, Harry Potter, and the decisions he has made in his long years of living.

* * *

Harry had decided to wait until the last day of break to do what he had been contemplating doing for the last week. In between everything else he was doing, he decided that maybe it was time to try and settle a few things. He didn't feel as confident about it as he tried to convince himself, though.

The students had returned early evening just before dinner. Harry and his friends had spent the time from dinner until everyone went to bed telling about the pranks they pulled. But Harry had been too preoccupied with what he had to do, to really get into retelling it all again. And now he was heading down to the lake under his invisibility cloak, feeling a mixture of emotions churning in his belly. He was almost there, and with each step his legs felt more like lead; heavy and unresponsive. He felt his chest tightening and the uncomfortably tense sensation made him slightly short of breath, and a bit dizzy. But he continued to his destination, determined, even if a bit hesitant to proceed with his plans. He had to though; he _felt_ that it was time to do this.

He reached the edge of the lake sooner than he would have liked, but only took a deep breath as he pulled the cloak from around himself. He clutched it in a loose grip in his left hand and stared out over the glittering water. He breathed in sharply, sucking in a gulp of early spring night air. He glance at his watch, and, with a smile twisting his lips, he saw that it was half an hour until midnight. He looked back out over the lake, gazing at the moon's reflection in its surface.

"Sirius," Harry breathed the name, keeping his eyes on the same spot. "I'm sorry, Sirius, so sorry. If I hadn't fallen so easily into Voldemort's trap, you'd still be here." He continued to speak quietly, voice choked with sadness and anger; anger towards Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and himself.

"I know if you were still here you'd probably tell me it wasn't my fault, but it was! Gryffindor bravery and courage are all well and good, but by letting my emotions consume me I made a bad decision. And now you're gone. No, not gone, but d-dead, and I have to accept that," he said thickly. He could feel his eyes prickling with tears, and blinked rapidly. "Its not bad having emotions like that and wanting to protect the people you care about. That's what makes us human. But it could have been more organized, or I could have trusted that Dumbledore would something. But I didn't, and I ended up leading my friends into danger and getting you killed."

He stopped talking and closed his eyes as pain lanced through his chest. This was hard, but it was Harry's first step to letting Sirius go and healing himself. He had to do this for himself, he knew if he wanted to be able to defeat Voldemort. It could be used as a weakness against him, and Harry knew that couldn't happen. Opening his eyes again, Harry sat on the ground crossed-legged and sighed heavily.

"I haven't been doing so good since losing you, but I'm coping in my own way," he continued, rubbing a hand absentmindedly over his right forearm. "Its time I began to let you go," he murmured. Harry remained silent for a long time, just staring out over the lake at the moon's reflection, or at nothing at all. The lightest of winds blew around him like a caress, as he sat near the lake's edge.

He sighed, and rose to his feet after a lengthy silence. He hadn't more to say to Sirius anyway. Tilting his head to the sky, he gazed at the moon directly – intensely – with sadness welling up in him, but on the edge of that sadness he could feel something he couldn't quite identify. "Goodbye Sirius," he said quietly, almost reverently, and swept his cloak around him, turning from the lake and walking back towards the castle. His watch, if he had looked at it, would have shown it was midnight exactly.

But, he didn't. He just kept walking, feeling the tightness in his chest as if it was contracting; loosening and tightening rhythmically, and seeming to hurt more with each one. He clutched the cloak tightly, his fingers beginning to hurt from the pressure. He swallowed back the urge to cry, shout, and scream or anything else to relieve the immense pressure trying to consume him.

Saying goodbye had been the hardest thing.


	24. Quidditch Attack, and A Chat With The Da

Chapter 24: Quidditch Attack, and A Chat With The Dark Lord 

Classes resumed as usual after that, and life in Hogwarts went on. For Harry, it was like a weight of some kind had been lifted off of him, but there didn't seem to be much difference since he'd 'said' goodbye to Sirius that day. He wasn't sure. It had felt good, in a way, to do that after holding onto his godfather since that night in the Department of Mysteries. But, ultimately, he still felt a bit empty. He supposed he would continue to feel that way for awhile. With Sirius – like with his parents – he grieved for the time they _didn't_ have. The time they _should_ have had.

So, he went on as usual. It wasn't hard to do so, after all. It was now two weeks after the end of break, and the day of the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match. It was the last match of the year, and the deciding factor for the Cup. The day was a beautifully perfect one with a bright blue sky, little cloud coverage and a high, shining sun. There was a light wind and the day was comfortably warm. It was just perfect weather for flying.

Harry smiled to himself as he finished lacing up his shoes. He was really looking forward to this match. Draco would be determined as ever, if not more so, to win. The Slytherin wouldn't go easy because of whatever was between them, and neither was Harry going to. Harry was sure Draco would be pulling every dirty trick he could, and for once, Harry was looking forward to it.

Turning around, he leaned against a locker and waited for the team to gather together to give a pep talk as the team captain. Finally, when everyone was dressed and present and gathered around, Harry began to speak.

"Alright, this is Slytherin we're playing, and, while we've beaten them before, that doesn't mean we can get overconfident. Overconfidence could be our mistake and lead to failure for us. Sloper, Kirke; watch Crabbe and Goyle carefully. We all know how Slytherin uses their Beaters to try and knock around players rather than Bludgers. Keep on them to intercept any Bludgers. And if necessary play their way," Harry said, smirking at their looks. "Sometimes to beat the opposition you need to think like they do; play like they do.

Chasers, look out for yourselves and others. They like to double team the one in possession of the Quaffle – it's their tactic. Work together and double team them back," Harry said, looking at Ginny, Katie and Euan. They nodded, looking determined and eager. Harry smiled at them, and then looked around at the team. "We're going out there today and playing our best. Slytherin will probably play dirty, but it won't get us down. We won't let it! We'll play dirty right back, but on a smaller scale. Remember what we did from practice. We will do what we need to do, no matter how hard it gets out there and we'll win. Now let's go kick some Slytherin ass!"

A roaring cheer ran through the locker room as the team got themselves hyped up. His captaincy was one thing he really loved. He watched as the team rose and began filing out of the locker room. Harry slung his Firebolt over his shoulder and began heading out with the rest. Ron walked towards him and slapped him heartily on the back.

"You're going to show Malfoy whose boss, aren't you mate?" Ron grinned wildly at him, eyes shining brightly. Harry grinned back.

"Of course! I don't plan on losing," Harry said confidently.

"That's the spirit, Harry! Pound the ferret's arse into the ground," Ron exclaimed. Harry choked on his own saliva at the innocent phrase from his friend. He really didn't need that mental image playing in his mind when he was about to be on a broom for an indefinite amount of time – ferret part aside.

"Uh, yeah, Ron," he replied awkwardly. They headed out onto the field and met in the middle with Hooch and the Slytherin team. The crowd was roaring with applause, screaming with excitement.

"Alright you lot, I want fairly clean game. I know this is the final match this year, and I know how determined you all can get. Captains, shake hands," she commanded briskly. Harry and Draco stepped forward, clasped hands tightly – all the while trying to break the others – while looking at each other with narrowed, challenging eyes. Then, they let go and stepped back. "Mount your brooms!" Once Hooch blew the whistle the players all zoomed into the air. Harry flew up above the others, as did Draco, waiting for the balls to be released.

"Ready to lose, Potter? I plan on wiping the pitch with you," Draco said, smirking at him.

"Please, Malfoy," Harry replied condescendingly. "Don't get delusional on me before the game's even begun."

"And the Snitch has been released…followed by the Quaffle and the Bludgers! Slytherins Theodore Nott in possession," Seamus announced. Harry glanced down briefly to look at the playing going on, before looking back up at Draco again.

"I hope you're not too sore when you lose, Malfoy. After all," Harry said casually, floating slowly towards the blond. He leaned on his broom handle, eyes glancing around the field. "I'd hate to not get that blow job you promised me." With that, Harry zipped off towards the Slytherin end of the pitch, laughing quietly to himself. This was already turning out to be a good game.

"…Gryffindor scores! That's ten to zero in Gryffindors favor. The Quaffle is tossed back out and Pucey takes possession. He speeds across the pitch and dodges Abercrombie, who cut a path in front of him. He rolls out of the way of a Bludger…and gets double-teamed by Weasley and Bell who take up position on either side of him. They're tailing him, but Bell gets the Quaffle out of Pucey's hand and Weasley takes possession – does she ever look good on a broom –"

"Finnegan!" McGonagall's stern voice is heard, tone warning.

"Sorry professor! Weasley swerves an on-coming Bludger sent by Goyle, dodges Pritchard – ooh! – and gets sideswiped by Nott who steals the Quaffle – dirty Slytherins; I know professor. Nott heads for the goal post, dodges Bell, cuts past Abercrombie and tosses the Quaffle towards the ring – only to have Keeper Weasley stop it at the last second!"

Harry clapped for his friend, even as he glanced around for the Snitch. He noticed Draco not to far from him, searching also. He could just imagine the blond scowling at the miss and he chuckled to himself.

The game continued on with each team scoring now and then, even as each team was blocked by its opposing Keeper, too. Ron was holding his own in the game just as well as Malcolm Baddock, Slytherin's Keeper. The Gryffindor Chasers were playing just as determinedly and rough as the Slytherin Chasers, and the Gryffindor Beaters were working their hardest to intercept Bludgers and give as good as Crabbe and Goyle dished it. It was a very intense game; hard and fast, and the roughest Harry had ever seen his team play. It was amazing and exhilarating. The team was taking his advice to heart and playing just as dirty as the Slytherins. Each team had gotten themselves at least two fouls as well.

Of course a game like this couldn't go without a few injuries on both sides. Ginny had been hit in the arm by a Bludger that had sent her into a brief downward fall. Luckily she hadn't broken anything, though she was guaranteed to have a nasty bruise. Ron had been hit pretty hard in the stomach by a Quaffle he stopped that had caused him to fall off his broom. Fortunately, he didn't suffer more than the hit and fall, which proved not fatal and only sprained his wrist which was secured for him to continue playing. Euan Abercrombie got barreled into by two Slytherin Chasers, which sent him flying into a set of stands. He dislocated his shoulder, but Pomfrey was able to fix it quickly, and he was back on his broom and out on the field playing even more determinedly.

As for Slytherin; Theodore Nott's broom was hit where he gripped it with his hands, and the Bludger caused him to gain a few broken fingers. Graham Pritchard flew into one of the ring's posts after trying – and failing – to dodge a double-team maneuver by Katie and Ginny. And Crabbe had been hit in the shoulder by a Bludger that had caused the large boy to swerve into Goyle, who had been near him. It really was an intense game.

And all the while Harry had been looking for the Snitch. There had been a few close calls, but the golden ball had disappeared before either Seeker could grab it. It was now almost an hour or so into the game, and the score was eighty to seventy in Gryffindors favor. Harry was getting anxious, though. Slytherin was never more than twenty points behind them, and he really needed to catch the Snitch soon. He floated about the middle of the pitch, up above the other players, looking around for the Snitch. He was tense, and clutching the broom in an iron-like grip. Draco was several feet from him, also looking. Harry licked his lips and glanced towards the Slytherin end of the pitch, beyond the blond. He was just about to turn and look elsewhere when a golden glint caught his eye, down near the ground.

Without hesitation, Harry zipped past Draco, and – in a somewhat downward tilt – Harry began flying towards the Snitch. He vaguely heard Seamus announcing his sighting of the ball and that Draco was catching up, but he blocked everything out as he focused on his goal. He jerked the broom up when the Snitch became active and changed course. Harry followed it up, through two people on brooms, and then – swerving a Bludger, – he cut across another player. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Draco. Glancing over Harry noticed the blond was basically neck and neck with him. He quickly refocused on the Snitch, as he pushed himself – and his broom – to go faster.

The Snitch took another dive towards the ground and the two Seekers dove with it. Harry leaned forward, inching on the golden ball, and then cursed loudly when it changed course again, heading back up. He did a quick side roll and turned his broom to following it. He caught up to Draco, who had gotten turned around quicker and swiftly leveled with him.

As the Snitch ascended, Harry pushed himself determinedly to stay on it, to catch it first. Draco bumped into him harshly, pushing him slightly off course. Harry grunted, and then grinned, a somewhat feral grin, bumping Draco back. He didn't plan to lose to Draco, no matter what. A shoving match occurred as they neared the Snitch finally. Harry had his hand stretched out, reaching for the ball, pushing himself towards it when he felt the different wind pattern from the beating of its wings. But just as his fist closed around it – Seamus was yelling about his catch, causing the crowd to go crazy – a wave of absolute cold washed over him. He gasped, and spun around sharply, looking frantically around. He was sure he hadn't imagined it, especially when he heard Draco swear loudly behind him. And then he saw it, or more appropriately, he saw them. A wave of Dementors came sweeping onto the pitch like a blanket of shadows, and when Harry looked up he saw several more gliding around in the clear, blue sky.

"Fuck!" Harry spat and glanced at Draco who looked back, wide-eyed. Then he began zipping across the field, heading for the Gryffindor section of seats. He looked around as he did so, watching the Dementors. People were panicking, and Harry watched as they moved into action, some trying to defend against the Dark creatures (which were very few) and the rest fleeing for safety. But it seemed like a futile effort.

Pulling up in front of the stands, he looked to Hermione. "Hermione, throw me my wand!" he yelled to her. He looked around frantically as he waited, noticing Dementors heading his way.

"Here, Harry!" Hermione's frantic reply brought him back to attention. He caught the wand levitated up to him – barely registering Hermione's "Please be careful!" – and bolted just as two Dementors came at him. They followed. Harry pushed the speed on his broom, did an abrupt turnabout, and pointed his wand, holding onto the happy thought he had used when he first learnt the spell.

"_Expecto Patronum!_" Harry grunted, and watched as the blinding white stag appeared and charged the – now – three Dementors ahead of him. They shrieked and flew away from the stag. He sensed the cold at his back, but instead of turning around, Harry shot forward, and then into the air. He could hear the screams, though they were completely muffled.

_Damn, damn, damn!_ It ran like a mantra through his head. Harry looked behind him and moaned in desperation. There were five Dementors on his tail, and closing fast. He clenched his jaw in determination and darted his eyes around the pitch. Getting an idea, Harry headed for the three rings ahead of him. He bolted through one of them and cut a path towards the Forbidden Forest, panting with the exertion. He could hear people screaming, and vaguely thought he may have heard his name, but he ignored it and went on.

Reaching the forest, he ducked down into the tree tops and began weaving through them. He glanced back again, briefly, to see that the Dementors were still after him, if a bit more slowly. Dodging a tree, he cut a vertical line up and out of the forest and into the sky a great height, before turning sharply. He pointed his wand down at the tree tops and the approaching creatures. _Happy thought, Potter, happy thought!_ "_Expecto Patronum!_" he was jerked back with the force, as his stag Patronus began galloping towards the Dementors. They shrieked and scattered, backing away from the blinding light of the Patronus. He sighed in relief as they flew away. He glanced towards the pitch, but couldn't see what was going on too well.

Harry pocketed his wand and clutched the broom handle with both hands. Closing his eyes, Harry breathed out, willing away the lingering chill and headache. He had caught images as he flew by the Dark creatures, images so brief and quick that he had easily shaken them off. But now he remembered them, and it unsettled him a bit. Breathing deeply and slowly, he gradually pulled in his control, pushing everything else away for the time being. With one final sigh, Harry opened his eyes, feeling a little more in control. And then he swore harshly.

Several trolls were emerging from the forest and making their sluggish ways towards the Quidditch pitch. This wasn't good, and Harry had a pretty good idea who was behind this attack. Flying back toward the pitch, he dived towards the ground, jumping off his broom and running up towards Dumbledore.

"Trolls," he gasped out, pointing towards the forest vaguely. "They're coming from the forest, and headed this way!"

Dumbledore's eyes widened and he looked towards the forest, as did everyone else around who had heard Harry. Sure enough, one could just see the small legion of trolls making their way towards the pitch.

Harry felt something latch onto his arm, and turned around to see worried brown eyes. "Harry, are you alright? We saw you head for the forest with those Dementors after you," Hermione asked, worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but we have other problems," Harry replied quickly.

"How many trolls, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"About seven, maybe eight," Harry replied. He was still panting, adrenaline running through his body wildly. But he couldn't stop, and he couldn't sit back and do nothing. He threw a leg over his Firebolt and lifted into the air, floating several feet above the crowd.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Dumbledore demanded, looking at the young man like he already knew. He probably did.

"I'm going to help! I'm not sitting around and doing nothing," Harry replied firmly, and before anyone could respond he flew up into the air. Next thing he knew, most of the Gryffindor team were floating around him. "Wha–"

"We want to help, mate," Ron said, looking pale, but determined. "What do you want us to do?" Harry stared blankly at the lot of them for a moment, before snapping out of it.

"Each of you can conjure things, right? If not, levitate those rocks over there. Either way, we're going to drop them over the trolls. That should hopefully knock them out." The group nodded to this and took off for the trolls. Working together they managed to knock out all ten – Harry had counted – trolls. Each one fell to the ground with resounding thuds, but some of the students didn't get away without injury. Some had gotten to close to the trolls, and had been swiped at by them and almost trampled before they got out of the way. With the trolls out of action, the group headed back to the pitch.

Harry felt pain spike in his scar as he flew, and he inhaled sharply, rubbing his fingers over it. He hadn't had any scar pain since back in February when Voldemort had sent him that horrible 'gift.' The pain was sharp, leaving a burning sensation afterwards that made Harry grimace. He lost the grip on his broom with his one hand when another sharp pain shot through his scar. He tried to clutch the broom with his thighs, but the pain made him feel weak, and he slipped off his broom. He heard gasps and people cry out, but fortunately the fall wasn't too far.

"Harry," what sounded like Dumbledore's voice said, just as the man himself leant down beside him. Harry was on his hand and knees, the other hand pressed to his scar. "Harry."

"Scar…" Harry choked out. _Focus damn it! Shield your mind, Harry, come on!_ Harry's thought, taking deep breaths and focusing on that forest that guards his mind. He had too many secrets that needed protecting, for Voldemort to find out.

"What–" Dumbledore stopped, but Harry couldn't look up to see why.

"Albus! Albus," he heard being shouted vaguely through the pain in his head that was pounding like a drum.

"What is it, Arthur?" Dumbledore said, and Harry was sure he could hear a hint of anxiousness in the old man's tone. He wanted to snort in amusement at that, but he was still half concentrating on keeping his shields up.

"Oh Albus, it terrible…just got word," Arthur babbled. "It's Azkaban, it's been broken into! Apparently – oh it's horrible – You-Know-Who, and his Death Eaters…The prisoners have been freed!"

There were gasps and murmurs at this news, as those within the vicinity heard the babbled words. Harry took a deep breath, feeling a bit more in control, and stood shakily to his feet, brushing off Hermione and Ron's worried looks with a shake of his head. Another sharp pain in his scar made him gasp and clutch his head, feeling a wetness he just knew was blood. "I hate you, you snake-faced son of a bitch!" he muttered in a strangled voice, before darkness claimed him.

* * *

He stood in the middle of a forest and he was pretty sure he was inside his own mind. He looked around at the lush and vibrant foliage, at the trees and many shadowed areas. It really was a beautiful place, but what was he doing there? 

"Ah, I see you have improved on defending your mind, Potter," the voice made Harry's head snap up, and he looked in the direction of where it came from. There, standing by the pond in the middle of the clearing, was none other than Lord Voldemort.

"What can I say, Tom? I didn't much want you prowling about in my private thoughts," Harry said sarcastically. Voldemort's eyes flashed at that, but he immediately smoothed his expression into a smirk.

"Well, after your pathetic godfather, I guess you would want to protect yourself better," Voldemort said in a thoughtful tone, underscored with malice. Harry tensed at the words and clutched his hands into fists at his sides. How dare this disgusting monster talk about Sirius!

"Shut up, you good for nothing bastard! You have no right to talk about Sirius," Harry hissed, glaring into red eyes unflinchingly.

"Hit a sore spot, I see," the Dark Lord commented with a mocking chuckle. "You know Potter; I have been wondering how you enjoyed my little present. You know the one I speak of. That lovely Mudblood's heart; how was it?"

Harry remained silent, glaring poisonously at the monster before him. He refused to consciously think about that day, to remember the red, bleeding heart in the box.

"Ah well, it doesn't matter, I suppose," Voldemort said dismissively, waving a hand carelessly. "You kill one Mudblood, and you kill them all. I'm sure you were quite distraught, though." Voldemort drawled in a bored tone, smirking lazily.

Harry clenched his jaw and tried to calm himself. _Don't let him rile you up!_ He snapped at himself. _Show him you're not as hot headed as he believes. Show him you can react in other ways besides anger._ Harry forced himself to smirk back at the man – a hard, cold smirk.

"Poor, poor, Tom, still throwing tantrums over the fact that his father didn't want him," Harry taunted, smiling maliciously when Voldemort went rigid. Hatred burned in the red eyes, and Harry chuckled lowly, feeling powerful that he was causing such a reaction in the supposedly most evil Dark Lord in hundreds of years. "I mean, really," Harry continued. "how pathetic are you? You're fighting for the rights of purebloods when you, yourself, are a _half-blood_ – and all because your dad didn't want you because you are a wizard. And you're supposed to be feared? Yeah, right," Harry snorted, shaking his head in mock-pity.

"How dare you disrespect me, boy! How dare you mock me!" Voldemort yelled in rage, glaring, eyes glowing with the promise of a red death. "That wretched name died along with that accursed muggle. You will fear me, Potter, you mark my words," he hissed, the last word coming out a bit serpentine.

Harry arched his eyebrows at this. "Do you say that to everyone you try to kill, or am I special?" he asked. The man glared harder, and Harry thought: _if looks could kill_. Of course if they could, he'd probably be dead more times than anyone else in the world.

"Gryffindor stupidity, I see, hasn't been lost on you," Voldemort sneered.

"And I see being a complete and total bastard hasn't been lost on you. Good job," Harry quipped. He briefly wondered where this sarcastic behavior was coming from. The recklessness of his behavior, really, wasn't much of a surprise. _Note to self: think of a second sort of defense. I really prefer not to have Voldy this far into my mine._

"You won't be so cocky soon, Potter," Voldemort drawled, smirking slyly. Harry looked at the monster before him, hate burning through him like a wave. He didn't say anything. "Let me tell you something, Potter." Voldemort said his voice dropping to a lower pitch. He stalked closer to Harry, and Harry refused to step back and give Voldemort the satisfaction of thinking he was afraid. Voldemort raised a hand, and then caressed it – feather light – down his cheek. Harry clenched his jaw, and struggled not to flinch, but he did a bit anyway. His skin was crawling in disgust at the mockingly loving touch. Voldemort's smirk widened at this and Harry silently cursed himself.

"My followers that had been captured because of you and your worthless friends, are now free," Voldemort whispered, now leaning close to his ear. "And soon, you'll know why people fear me. Soon…you'll suffer the same fate as your pathetic parents and godfather."

Harry felt unimaginable rage build up within him at these words, and he raised his hands and shoved the Dark Lord back, hard. Voldemort stumbled back, but he was chuckling cruelly. Harry clenched his fists, and – with all his might – thought of pushing the man from his mind. He blacked out, but not before seeing Voldemort disappear as if being sucked away through some weird vortex of black swirling energy.


	25. An Overdue Chat, A Day Full of Surprises

AN: Hey Everyone! I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I have a reason for the delay. I had posted an author's note for a day, before deleting it, so not many of you may know my reasoning. Here's the deal. From now on, it would be wise to look in my profile, because I have begun adding update notes to it, as well as progress notes on the stories I am working on. I may add things I plan to work on in the future, too, but I'm not sure yet. Everything has been a little hectic for me lately, but I'm trying to do my best and finish this story. There is going to be a sequel and come hell or high water, I plan to finish it, as well as RC. It may take me some time, but bear with me guys. The reviews have really helped to boost my confidence a bit, so I'm grateful for all you faithful readers.

And without further ado!

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Chapter 25: An Overdue Chat, A Day Full of Surprises and Talks with Dumbledore

Draco wondered if fate was fucking with them. The day had started out so wonderfully. He awoke from a sound sleep in a very good mood, ready for the game that day. He had felt so happy and full of energy, ready to have one hell of a match since he had known Harry wouldn't hold back just because they were seeing each. The game would prove to be interesting. And it had been. Every time the Snitch was in sight they would both put their all into being the first to get it. The game had gone well up until the last chase for the Snitch. Harry had caught it, yes, and that had pissed Draco off a bit, but it was all soon forgotten.

And then the Dementors came.

Like birds of prey, they came sweeping onto the pitch en masse. Draco had known from the look Harry gave him that the Gryffindor was going to try and help. His first thought was, _Stupid Potter!_ but his second was, irrationally, _I wish I could help_. He didn't know where it had come from, but he also knew he couldn't help, because that would put him under scrutiny with his housemates, who could easily report it back to his mother. The woman was just as dangerous as his father, and didn't want to deal with her wrath.

So, he had watched as Harry flew around the sky performing crazy stunts as he dodged the Dementors and set the occasional Patronus to ward off the creatures. He watched as Harry determinedly got rid of the Dementors chasing him, pulling moves on his broom that he'd never done during Quidditch. Draco had been sure Harry hadn't even realized it he had watched as Harry and some of the Gryffindor team did away with the trolls that had been keen on wreaking havoc, and then he had watched as Harry fell those few feet from his broom, clutching his head. Draco had stood with the other Slytherins, back away from the drama, but still within hearing range, watching the commotion. The brief glimpses he had caught of Harry had shown him looking pale with blood trickling down his forehead. It had worried him, but the worry had been quickly overridden with shock and fear and a myriad of other emotions with the words that had come form Arthur Weasley's mouth.

The prisoners of Azkaban had been freed. His _father_ had been freed. Draco had heard it clearly.

The pitch had been cleared soon after that. Harry had been unconscious and the nurse had been levitating him towards the castle. The match had been won by Gryffindor, as they had found the Snitch in his pocket when someone – Draco didn't know or care who – stated they'd seen Harry catch it. And, for once, Draco didn't care about the match. Harry could have died – smashed by a troll, had his soul sucked out by a Dementor, or fallen off his broom. Was that less important compared to who had won? No, it wasn't.

Draco had gone back to the common room with his housemates, who were either sulking because they lost yet another match to Gryffindor, or gloating because the prisoner had been freed and their parents might have been among them. Draco had joined the gloating, boasting about how his father and the Dark Lord would get Potter. He had felt sick with himself as he donned the mask and paraded around, declaring all sorts of things about his father and the Dark Lord. He also felt disgusted with his housemates. Did they even know what their parents really did in the name Lord Voldemort? What they, _themselves_, would be expected to do? They had no clue, and yet, they sat there and declared their eagerness in that subtle way about joining the Death Eaters. It was all sick and Draco couldn't believe he'd never realized what he, himself, had been on the path to becoming. But not now, Draco wasn't going to becoming some mindless follower bowing to a man who would order him to rape and kill in his name.

Stating the need to write to his mother – luckily others were writing home also – Draco was only too happy to leave the idiots that were the majority of his housemates. He was aware that some were quieter about the whole thing, and as he had watched them, he took in all the little details he could. Some of the ones who were quieter were friends of his, some weren't, but Draco would store all that away for later thought. He was pretty sure not all of his housemates wanted to become Death Eaters, but being in Slytherin they all learned at young ages to protect themselves always, even from 'friends.' it was a safety measure.

After leaving the common room, Draco walked through the dungeons to get to his godfather's quarters. He had to talk to the man. It time he did so and stopped putting it off. Over the last two weeks Draco had watched Severus carefully, not exactly spying, but trying to learn some things. He hadn't really discovered anything circumstantial to help him though. There had been small things, things that could have meant nothing, or they could have meant something. For one, Severus very rarely, if ever, mentioned the Dark Lord around Draco. Draco had thought on all their conversations and couldn't remember the man actually talking about the Dark Lord, and he, himself, never brought it up in front of the man.

With his father being a very avid supporter, as well as his mother, Draco thought – with Severus being a follower as well, though it was never really discussed – that the man would bring it up at least once or twice, especially since Lucius had been adamant about Draco joining the Death Eaters. Draco still had to figure a way out of _that_.

Reaching the door, Draco knocked quickly after taking a glance around. When no answer came after almost a minute, Draco was about to turn and leave when the door opened abruptly. Severus blinked, looking uncharacteristically startled for a moment, before ushering him in. Draco flopped ungracefully into one of the chairs by the lit fireplace and rubbed a hand over his face. Then, he growled, stood, and began to pace.

Severus stared at his godson for a long moment, carefully weighing what the boy could be there for, before walking towards a cabinet in the corner. He opened it and retrieved two shot glasses, as well as a bottle of brandy. He had needed something strong himself and he had a feeling Draco needed something stronger than Butterbeer too. Bottle and glasses in hand, Severus took the other armchair before the fireplace and set the items on the table. "Sit," he commanded to the still pacing blond. Draco looked at him a moment, gave an explosive sigh, and sat. Severus poured the alcohol into each glass and took up his own, tipping his head at the other and giving Draco a pointed look.

Draco took up the glass without hesitation and knocked it back. It burned all the way down and warmed him inside. It helped take the edge off the panic he had begun to feel.

"Now, why don't you _calmly_ tell me what is wrong?" Severus asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Draco took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts. They were so scattered, he felt like they were unsolvable puzzle pieces. Harry, his father, trolls, Dementors, his mother, Death Eaters, the Dark Lord, Severus, initiation, mission; they were just all over the place. He took another deep breath and rolled the empty glass between his palms.

"I need you to swear a wizard's oath, not to tell anyone without my expressed permission what I'm about to tell you," Draco said lowly, grey eyes fixed steadily of black.

Severus's eyebrows shot up at the request, and he stared intently at his godson. "Draco, when have I ever betrayed your confidence in me? A wizard's oath? Do you think me one of those gossip mongers, the likes of Rita Skeeter?" Severus was not overly offended by the request, really. He realized that whatever Draco had to say was obviously worthy of an oath, and it made him curious.

Draco shook his head and flexed his fingers around the glass. "It's not that I don't trust you, Severus, it's just that…I'm looking after myself. Trust me on this Severus."

Severus looked at Draco for a long moment, silent and unmoving. He had a vague idea what this conversation concerned and thought maybe he would find the answers he'd been looking for himself. Nodding his head, Severus agreed to the wizard's oath. Once they had done that and gotten through the sealing of the oath, he looked to Draco expectantly, waiting for the boy to speak.

Draco breathed out through his nose slowly, put the glass on the table, and looked back at his godfather. "I'm extremely unsettled that my father is out of Azkaban. I hate the man, you know that much. After everything that he did to me when all I wanted to do was make him proud, I can't help but to hate him. And now he's out of prison! This is bad, very bad. If Lucius is out, then I'm sure to get the Dark Mark this summer," Draco paused and looked at Severus steadily. Severus looked back.

"You do not wish to join the Dark Lord?" Severus asked neutrally, not giving anything of his thoughts away.

Draco looked at him carefully, before deciding to continue. "No, I don't," Draco said firmly. "After fourth year, when the Dark Lord returned, my father was different. Not obviously so, but there was a definite change." He took another deep breath, and then proceeded to tell Severus about his summer that year. The pensieve incidents, the beatings that had progressed into occasional _Crucuio's_ when Lucius was especially angry, his thoughts on what he viewed in the pensieve and so forth. He let it all spill out, feeling a weight lifted off him. He also told Severus about his desire not to become a Death Eater.

Severus listened as Draco described what he saw and felt sick that someone so young had to witness such atrocities. He vaguely thought that Potter, too, had to witness such things, but he brushed it away. He couldn't believe Lucius! And then the man used _Crucio_ on his own son. Severus felt outraged at the man's behavior.

"I'm sure that my mother and father will force me if I don't agree to join willingly," Draco said, now pacing again. "But now I'm positive it will be this summer that they will want me to join."

Severus felt something in him clench at these words. "How do you figure that, Draco?"

Draco looked at Severus intensely for a moment, then; he said quietly, "I was given a mission during the break. I was to spy on you and discover where your loyalties lie," Draco said quietly, not looking away from black eyes.

Severus was shocked, but overly so. He had thought Draco was off a bit when he had come back, but this wasn't in any of his theories of what could have happened to the boy.

Draco was silent, just waiting for Severus to speak. He stood, tense and unbalanced, waiting and watching. It felt like ages before Severus finally said something. "Why would you trust me, if you knew I was in the Dark Lord's service?" the man asked with one eyebrow quirked.

"Because from what I've been able to find out, it doesn't seem like you're on his side. It's little, inconsequential things, but I'm pretty sure you're not," Draco said firmly, challengingly, which was only half the truth. He needed Severus to not be on _his_ side. Severus stared at him expressionlessly for long moments, but Draco stood his ground, not squirming under the scrutiny.

Severus was sure Draco was serious and being truthful, and this gave him hope. Hope for Draco not to go down the same path he, himself, had. He could use Legilimency, but he knew was quite adequate at blocking it. But Severus believed Draco and that made relief wash through him to know that Draco was against being a Death Eater. Severus would do everything in his power to make sure it didn't happen.

"Draco," Severus said finally, looking at the too tense teen. Draco looked back and Severus could see the barest hint of anxiety in his eyes. "Come, sit down." Severus watched as Draco hesitated for a moment, before reclaiming hi seat. He poured them both another shot of brandy and pushed Draco's glass toward the boy. Draco picked it up, and Severus saw his hand shaking a bit. Draco quickly clutched the glass in both hands, and downed the alcohol, sitting the glass back on the table. He put his hands together and stuck them between his knees. Severus said nothing of it.

"I will help you, Draco. I need you to trust me, though, this is very important. You will meet me after dinner in the Entrance Hall once all the other students have departed. Make sure of this. Do you understand?" Severus asked firmly.

Draco nodded, relieved in some ways and even more anxious in others. "I do trust you, Severus. This wasn't easy for me, you know. It still isn't," he said softly. An image of his father passed through his mind, and he felt himself cringing. He could just imagine the torture Lucius would put him through when he found Draco's loyalty wasn't to the Dark Lord. The thought made him shiver.

"I know it's not easy," Severus said, because he did know that choosing between what you were taught to do and believe and choosing something different was a hard one. He looked at Draco and saw the boy cringe slightly and had a good idea what he was thinking about. "But I will help you any way I can."

Draco nodded, but didn't say anything. He stared at nothing and was silent for a long time. He was thinking about all the things that had happened in his life since his father was arrested. He had become friends with his rival/enemy and found they had a common link, discovered they were more alike then they had considered and found out they were attracted to each other. Draco learned a lot about Harry, as well as learning some things from Harry. But then, there were the not-so-nice things this year. His mother presenting him with a mission passed down from the Dark Lord, himself, which led to him having to spy on his godfather. And now, his father was free; out of Azkaban and undoubtedly back at his master's side. It was only too obvious to Draco that the Dementors and trolls at the game had been a distraction.

He sighed and stood up from his seat. "I'm going to head to my room. I'll see you after dinner, Severus," Draco said tiredly.

The Potions Master nodded, looking at his godson worriedly. Draco looked drained; pale and drawn with a distant look in his eyes. "Alright, Draco, get some rest while also." his tone was one that brooked no argument. Draco nodded and quickly left the room. He wanted to see how Harry was doing, but knew it would be better if he tried to sneak up to the hospital wing at night. He decided to follow Severus's orders and get some rest. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally. The adrenaline he had been running on from the game and the excitement had long since faded, leaving him beyond tired. Besides that, he wanted to not think for awhile.

Climbing into bed once he was back in his rooms, Draco shut his eyes, shut out the world, and began drifting to sleep almost immediately.

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Harry shot awake with a strangled gasp, hand flying automatically to his scar, but feeling only the coarse material of bandages. He was panting, and struggling to gather his wits, but he was succeeding, if slowly.

"Harry!" two familiar voices exclaimed, much too loudly. He turned to his right, cringing at the pain that shot through his head at the noise. He saw Ron and Hermione standing there and looking at him worriedly.

"Not so loud," he complained hoarsely, rubbing at his right temple with his finger tips.

"Sorry mate," Ron said sheepishly, voice much lower.

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked him anxiously, her brown eyes wide and looking a bit shiny.

"Yes, I'm just bloody fantastic considering I had to out-fly Dementors today and knock out several trolls. Oh! And not to forget that I have the bloody fucking headache to end all headaches," Harry replied sarcastically, voice holding unintentional harshness and spite. He was in a bad mood, and the headache was doing nothing to help it. And his throat hurt too, damn it! He saw the look Hermione gave him and sighed. "I'm fine, but a glass of water would be nice," he hinted, his voice raspy sounding. "How long have I been out?" he asked, taking the glass from Hermione with a weak, but grateful smile.

"Only about half an hour, maybe a bit more," Hermione answered. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a new voice.

"Ah, I see you're awake, Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey said, bustling over and waving her wand over him, muttering spells as she did so. "Any pain?"

"I have a headache," Harry said. "And I feel a bit cold."

Pomfrey nodded her head. "That would be the after effects of the Dementors, of course, but you already know that. I'll give you a potion for the headache, and a bit of chocolate. Maybe a warming spell, also," she said, seeming to be talking mostly to herself at that point.

"Where's Dumbledore, I need to talk to him?" Harry asked, just as the nurse was turning to leave.

"The Headmaster is currently away, but I will inform him when he returns of your need to talk to him. You are to rest, Mr. Potter," she said firmly, before walking away.

Harry sighed softly, and then looked at his friends, smiling wryly at the two. "Voldemort didn't disappoint. It may be earlier than usual, but this just smacks of his doing."

"Yes, and coupled with the breakout of prisoner at Azkaban, it was probably a distracting of some kind," Hermione said. Pomfrey came back and shoved a vial at Harry. He drank down the foul tasting concoction with a grimace of distasted, and then began nibbling on the chocolate he was given.

"You've got five minutes, and then you have to go. I want my patient to _rest_," the nurse said, giving all three a look, looking more pointedly at Harry as she stressed it.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Harry asked sourly.

"You will spend the rest of the night here, Mr. Potter, and I don't want any fuss about it," she said sternly. Her face softened a bit. "Your scar was bleeding quite profusely. It was cracked open somewhat, also," she said. Harry unconsciously rubbed at his head, feeling the bandage again. "I want you stay just in case it starts bleeding again. If it hasn't bled again by tomorrow morning then I will release you." Harry sighed, but nodded. Pomfrey reminded then of their five minutes, before bustling away. Harry turned back to his friends.

"Was anyone hurt?" he asked.

Ron shook his head. "A lot of people were really shaken, but no one was hurt," Ron replied. Then his eyes lit up. "We won the game, though! The Quidditch cup is ours."

Harry looked blankly at the redhead. He hadn't even thought about the game as he had too many other thoughts going on in his mind.

"Ron! We were just attacked by Dementors and trolls, and all you can think about is a stupid game?" Hermione asked angrily, looking at her boyfriend in disgust.

"But, Hermione, we beat Slytherin even with all that happened," Ron argued.

"I can't believe you, Ronald!" Hermione snapped.

"Ron, that's nice and all, but people could have been hurt. _I_ could have been hurt, or killed even. Excuse me if I'm not as excited as you are," Harry said dryly. Ron flushed, and stared at his feet, looking shamefaced.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I just…I was happy, was all," Ron mumbled, ears burning red. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I'm glad you're okay, Harry," Hermione said. "Your scar is…is it okay?" she asked hesitantly.

Harry's brow furrowed at this, and he once again felt his head over where his scar was. Besides some tenderness, it seemed fine and he told the two so. He told them about his 'meeting' with Voldemort, too. Hermione looked incredulous and Ron looked pale, a bit worried and slightly awed.

"Voldemort was in your head and the two of you basically taunted each other," Hermione said slowly, as if someone just said pink bunnies were planning to take over the known world.

"Yeah, basically, until he said some stuff about my parent and Sirius, and then I pushed him from my mind," Harry shrugged carelessly.

"Awesome," Ron breathed. Hermione shook her head, a wry smile twisting her lips.

"Only you, Harry, would taunt a person who is out to kill you," she said with a sigh. Harry smirked at her, and gave another smooth roll of the shoulders, shrugging indifferently at her comment.

Pomfrey came back over then and began ushering the two out. She then told Harry to rest and that if he argued she would give him a sleeping draught. Harry was quick to lie down and keep his moth shut, though he didn't go to sleep. He had too much on his mind to sleep. He was glad no one had been hurt, but his thoughts were all over. The breakout was shocking, and Harry was wondering how Draco was taking it, but there was also the thought of what Voldemort's next move was, that was also plaguing him. This could only lead to something bigger and more dangerous. He wanted to be ready for it, whatever it was.

He turned on his side and pulled the think sheet up to his shoulder. He wondered where Dumbledore was. What had happened with the trolls that lay unconscious not far from the pitch? What about the Dementors? He didn't know and it frustrated him that he didn't. He hoped Dumbledore answered his questions when he talked to the man. Not being told things always made a bit of bitterness burn in Harry's body, especially after last year. Not knowing things could lead to disaster.

_And there's my inner cynic,_ Harry thought wryly, unconsciously rubbing his arm. He couldn't let himself get too down about it, as there was nothing he could currently do. Besides, he was tired, just a little bit. He snuggled down into the bed and closed his eyes. Sleep came soon after.

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Dumbledore absent dusted himself off after stepping from the fireplace in his office. He slowly made his way over to the perch that held Fawkes and gently petted the beautiful looking phoenix, which trilled softly. He smiled a little at the bird, before taking his seat. He weary blue eyes gazed ahead unseeingly.

He had just returned from the Ministry of Magic after meeting with Fudge. The attack at the castle hadn't been the only one to happen that day. About ten Dementors attacked a small magical community in Sutherland at about the same time as the attack at Hogwarts. Along with the Dementors a small group of Death Eaters had accompanied them. Apparently, the Ministry's Aurors had been preoccupied with that attack and by the time they got help to Azkaban it had been too late. The prisoners and any accomplices to the breakout had been long gone. And the bad news just kept building.

While no one at Hogwarts had been hurt in the attack, the same couldn't be said for Sutherland. There was still speculation on exactly what went on at Azkaban, but Sutherland had a total of five casualties, low considering the circumstances. Two had been given the Kiss by Dementors and three had died at the hands of Death Eaters. There had been many injuries, also, before the Death Eaters disappeared and the Dementors were swept away, not long before the Ministry arrived with extra help.

Albus had gathered all the information about what had happened that he could, offered advice to Fudge – as usual – and left the Ministry to return to the castle. He still had many things to do, and checking in on Harry was at the top of the list. He wanted to make sure the boy was okay. Last he'd seen Harry; he'd been lying unconscious in the hospital wing and bleeding from the scar that adorned his head.

He sighed and rubbed wearily at his head. He hadn't expected Voldemort to take his Death Eaters being incarcerated lightly, but this had been – obviously – unexpected. And with Severus still working his way back into Voldemort's trust, it would still be hard getting information unless they got another spy in there – which he was working on. Rising from his chair, he extracted his pocket watch to check the time. It was only a few minutes into dinner. He decided to go and reassure the students and staff first, and then he would head to the hospital wing to see Harry. He would also have to schedule an Order meeting to discuss this new development.

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After talking to the students and eating a bit of dinner, Dumbledore made his way to the hospital wing before dinner was even over. He would have to make this quick, as Severus had expressed his need to talk to him about something of great importance. He was pretty sure he knew what it was about, and other pieces of a puzzle he'd been trying to solve were gradually falling into place. There were still missing pieces, but he was sure he would find them out soon. He walked into the hospital wing and smiled at Pomfrey as he stopped at her office.

"Poppy," he greeted warmly. "How is Mr. Potter doing? And the other students who had been brought in?"

"The few others just needed bits of chocolate, some headache potions and warming spells. They were released right after, as soon as they were able to leave. Mr. Potter has had his head bandaged from where the scar had bled, and besides a headache I believe he'll be fine. I'm keeping him overnight for observation, however, as I'm not sure what will happen since it is a curse scar," Poppy replied. Dumbledore nodded. "He's just finishing with dinner. Also, he wanted to talk to you."

"Thank you, Poppy," Dumbledore said, leaving her office and making his way towards where Harry lay. The boy was sitting up with a tray on his lap and a magazine of some kind to the side of him. As he got closer, Dumbledore noticed it was a Quidditch magazine. When Harry looked up, Dumbledore smiled. "How're you, my boy?"

"Good," Harry said quietly. "I've still got a bit of a headache, but it's not as bad as earlier. I wanted to talk to you, though."

Dumbledore summoned a chair and sat down in it. He nodded to what Harry said. "Madam Pomfrey said as much. What did you have to talk about, Harry?"

"Voldemort came to me," Harry began without preamble. "In my head, I mean. He talked about how his followers were free and did a bit of gloating. Did anything else happen while I was unconscious?"

"The Dementors probably lowered your mental shields, which gave Voldemort room to enter your mind. Were you able to push him out?" Harry nodded. Dumbledore thought carefully about what he wanted to say. "There was another attack besides the one here at Hogwarts."

Harry's eyes widened and he looked at Dumbledore intensely. "Where, and was anyone hurt? What happened?" he asked quickly.

"Calm down, Harry. The attack was in a small magical community in Sutherland. Apparently they were attacked by Dementors and a few Death Eaters as well," Dumbledore said.

"Another distraction," Harry muttered. Dumbledore nodded. "And was anyone hurt?" Harry asked again, his tone asking for the truth. Dumbledore looked at him for a long moment silently.

"Injury and death are an inevitably of war, Harry," the old man said quietly. "There were some casualties – five to be exact."

Harry closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. He had known there would be deaths and such, but it was still hard to hear about it – personal, or not. He opened his eyes and looked into blue ones. "Thank you for being honest with me, sir. I really appreciate it," he said quietly. "And…I'm sorry for how I've been behaving towards you this year."

"Say no more, Harry, say any more. I understand that in times of tragedy and grief we sometimes tend to lash out at others. I must admit, though, that I was a bit put-off by it at time, but I understand. You were lashing out at those easiest to blame," Dumbledore said reasonably, a twinkle coming to his eyes. Harry flushed and shifted a bit at that and Dumbledore chuckled lightly. "You are not the first person to take out their grief on those around them, and you won't be last."

Harry sighed and nodded, feeling a bit of weight lifted off of him. _Nothing like life-threatening situations to make a person take their head out of their arse,_ Harry thought wryly.

"I'm going to leave you to rest now. You'll be out of here in the morning, provided nothing happens. I must go and speak with Professor Snape."

"What does Snape want?" Harry blurted before he could stop himself.

Dumbledore gave him a look. "That's _Professor_ Snape, Harry, and I believe he wants to talk to me about Draco Malfoy," he said casually. Harry tossed him a sharp look.

"Well, Malfoy is one of his Slytherins and he's a teacher's pet. He's probably just seeking attention or something, or maybe it's something about his father. I'm sure Lucius was one of the escapees," Harry said bitterly. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and Harry felt a bit uncomfortable by the look the man had in his eyes.

"Now, Harry, I'm sure Professor Snape's godson holds more importance than that to him," Dumbledore replied with an amused smiled. Harry's eyes very nearly popped out of his head at this, his eyes were so wide. His mouth worked uselessly for a few moments. "Didn't you know? Ah, my mistake. It's not well known and only those on friendly terms with Mr. Malfoy would probably know."

"Er, yeah," Harry said awkwardly. "Who cares that Malfoy is Snape's godson anyway?"

"It's just an old man babbling nonsense, Harry. Well then, I'll leave you to rest now. Have a good night's sleep," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling as he rose from his seat.

"You too, sir," Harry replied faintly. Dumbledore just smiled and left the hospital wing, leaving Harry with the feeling that the man knew more than he was letting on. And what was wrong with Draco anyway? Snape was Draco's godfather? Harry flopped back on the bed and sighed. This day was just full of surprises.

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Draco breathed out slowly as he followed next to Severus. Dinner had just ended and he had waited around for Severus's cue. The man had instructed him to follow him with nothing but a look, and Draco did. He could feel his heart beating a violent rhythm against his chest as they made their way to wherever they were going. He was pretty sure they were going to Dumbledore's office, wherever that was. He had seen Severus lean over to speak to the man during dinner. He felt like a complete wreck inside and he was sure he was about to panic. He had never been in Dumbledore's presence before – at least, not I such close proximity anyway. He had heard so many things about the man since he was a little boy. He had been mentioned almost as much as Harry Potter.

Finally reaching their destination apparently, they stopped in front of a solemn looking gargoyle statue. Looking at it, Draco watched as Severus approached it and spoke something. Then, he watched as the gargoyle leapt aside, revealing a spiral staircase. He stood there and looked at it, getting the impression that once he stepped forward onto those stairs, that there was no turning back. Not only physically – as Severus wouldn't let him back out, and Draco's pride was too busy hiding somewhere to keep him from doing it – but in all aspects. Once he stepped onto those stairs, his life would change, even more so than now. Was he really ready for this? Could he do this, knowing that it would change so many things – if not _everything_ – in his life?

Draco glanced at Severus, who stood before him, watching him patiently with calm, solemn eyes. Draco swallowed and looked back at the staircase. He thought about all that had happened that year, so far, and took a deep breath, steeling himself. If he could befriend his once rival and get into a relationship with him, then he could do this. This meeting – for he was sure of that much – would be a turning point in what happened in the future for him. With a firm nod to Severus, Draco walked forward and stepped onto the staircase, making another factoring step in his life somehow. He could feel it as if it was a physical change.

Severus stepped on behind him and they rode the spiral stairs up together in silence. When they reached the top, stepped off, and stood before a big oak door, Draco felt Severus touch his shoulder. He felt an added bit of comfort by that simple gesture that just finalized everything in his mind in some way. Severus would be there for him, no matter what. Squaring his shoulders, lifting his chin and nodding, Draco watched as Severus knocked on the door, and walked in even before an invitation was uttered. He followed.

He looked around at all the contraptions that he encountered, brow furrowed at most of them. He gazed around him, taking in all he could see. He stopped before he bumped into his godfather's back, as the man stopped walking himself. Draco pulled his focus back to the matter at hand and looked ahead. The room was devoid of the Headmaster, but Draco caught a glimpse of something even more interesting. He stared at the beautiful red phoenix that sat upon a perch, ruffling its feathers and gazing absently at them. Draco had never seen a phoenix before, and was awed by the creature. He stepped closer to get a better look. The phoenix turned to focus on him completely, staring at him with its black eyes, before it trilled out a soft note.

"Fawkes is a magnificent bird, is he not, Mr. Malfoy?" a voice said jovially. Draco whirled around to see Dumbledore dusting himself off and standing before a fireplace. "Severus. It's good to see you both. I've just come just checking in on Mr. Potter, who appears to be doing quite well after today's excitement. Sherbet lemon?" the man said all this in that light tone, walking to his desk and sitting down. He smiled at Draco's lifted brow as the blond sat down.

"No thank you, Headmaster," Severus said dryly, obviously very much use to this.

"Uh, no thank you, sir," Draco replied, a bit hesitantly. He was glad to hear that Harry was doing okay, though. That gave him a bit of relief.

"Ah, more for me then," Dumbledore said, popping a yellow candy into his mouth, eyes twinkling. Draco wondered if all those claims of the man being mad were true. "Now, Severus, you stated a wish to speak with me. Am I correct to believe that it pertains to Mr. Malfoy here?"

"Yes, Headmaster, it is quite important," Severus said quirking an eyebrow and hinting to the need for privacy. Dumbledore nodded his head.

"Of course, of course!" Dumbledore said smoothly, raising his brows as he gazed at Severus – who nodded slightly – before turning his gaze to Draco. He smiled at the young man who looked so much like his mother. He knew many thought the boy was a spitting image of Lucius – and in a way he was – but there was also a lot of Narcissa in the boy. "What can I do for you, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco straightened himself and looked from Dumbledore to Severus and back, before taking a deep breath. Why did it feel like his throat was trying to close up? And why did Dumbledore's gaze have to be so intense? He could feel both men's eyes staring at him, seeming to be burning holes into him. He cleared his throat. "Headmaster, as you know, my father was arrested last year on Death Eater activities, but is currently free. I've no doubt he is," Draco said. Dumbledore looked at the young Malfoy heir for a moment, before nodded slowly.

"Lucius was one of the prisoners who escaped in the breakout. There hasn't been a full count of everyone yet, but they've been able to identify a few," Dumbledore replied, giving the boy a bit of information. Draco nodded, not looking at all surprised by the announcement. Lucius would have been stomping over all others to get out of there.

"I'm here because I have no desire to end up like my father. I've seen what his path holds for me," Draco continued, pushing back images of blood and gore. "I've come to the decision that that's not the path for me," Draco said calmly, evenly, feeling anything but on the inside.

"He's looking to choose a different future than the one his father chose, Albus," Severus spoke up, and Dumbledore could hear the '_the one I choose'_ just on the tail of that statement. "There is also a very good chance that he may be called upon to be marked this summer." Dumbledore nodded, folded his hands and laid his chin atop them. He looked at the two people across from him in silence for a long moment, thinking about had been said.

"I commend you on your courage to come forth with this Mr. Malfoy. Not many could summon the willpower to such. Also, you're right, Severus, but that all depends on Mr. Malfoy here, and what he wishes to do," Dumbledore said, looking to the blond.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked evenly, eyes narrowed on the Headmaster suspiciously. Dumbledore looked back at the blond, unfazed.

"Just because a person decides they don't want to do one thing, it doesn't mean there are other things they're willing to do to escape the first," Dumbledore said calmly. Draco remained silent, absorbing the words and contemplating things. He and Severus hadn't talked before coming her and Draco was also debating whether to mention the mission or not. He wanted to turn to the man to get some guidance, because he wasn't sure what to do. He glanced at his godfather, slightly startled, but endeavoring not to show it, to see black eyes looking back at him. Severus raised an eyebrow at him, before turning back to Dumbledore.

"There is another thing, Albus," Severus said.

_Well, that answered that,_ Draco thought, looking to Dumbledore who was looking at them with slightly raised brows. Draco cleared his throat and told the man in a somewhat stilted voice about the mission his mother had given him from the Dark Lord. To the old man's credit, he didn't even bat an eye at his words, just sat there calm as ever.

"Well," Dumbledore said after a moment. "This does add a bit of a complication to things." That was an understatement if there ever was one and only made the need for another spy more important. Dumbledore looked to Severus and held his gaze for a long, intense moment. He was sure Severus was calculating what he would say – suggesting – but Dumbledore wasn't an unkind man. While he could use this to the Light's advantage, he wouldn't coerce the boy into being a spy – even if he probably would be deeper in the Death Eaters than Severus. When Severus had turned spy he had been a bit older and had _chosen_ his path, even though it was taxing on the man. He looked back to the youngest of the three and focused on him.

"Mr. Malfoy, you've made a great step in your decision not to join the Death Eater, but you have another decision to make," Dumbledore said, settling in for a long discussion.


	26. A Day of Rest and A night of Pleasure

Author's Note: Ha ha! I've updated once again. I'm going to tell you truth about this chapter. It could have been out sooner - like last week, probably - but I got sidetracked. But, here it is finally! Enjoy.

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Chapter 26: A Day of Rest and A night of Pleasure

When Harry was released from the hospital wing the next day, he made sure to reassure his friends and housemates that he was okay. He had been asked numerous times during his attendance at breakfast if he was okay, not only by Gryffindors, but Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs as well. He reassured them all, as calmly as possible, that he was indeed _fine_. He ate his breakfast like normal, ignored the worried looks and the drivel the _Prophet_ had produced. It wasn't important anyway, not when he knew a bit more than those vultures did.

After breakfast Harry tired to decide what to do next. This Saturday was supposed to be a Hogsmeade weekend, but it had been cancelled in lieu of the attacks yesterday. He knew he wanted to talk to Draco; at least, he just had to find a way to slip away from his friends so he could. That would be hard with them hovering around him so insistently. It was a bit annoying, really. You play a game of Quidditch, out-fly some Dementors and knock out some trolls, and then win said game; aren't you allowed to be left alone or something?

_Obviously not,_ Harry thought with irritation, forcing a smile for Hermione and Ron, who were giving him frequently worried looks. He knew he probably looked bad – he _felt_ bad, truthfully – but he didn't want the continuous looks he kept receiving. Finally, though, he reached his limit and stood from his seat. He felt suffocated and trapped in a way that was all too familiar with this overly expressed amount of sympathy.

"Guys, I'm going to go for a walk – alone," he added, as he saw Hermione open her mouth. She shut it and frowned.

"Harry, it might not be a good idea to go alone," she said worriedly. "Even if the attack was expressly directed at you yesterday, there's still a chance Voldemort will attack again." Harry rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Hermione, I'm not going to let it restrict me. Besides that, I need time alone to think. You're kind of smothering me. Both of you," Harry said with a glance at Ron, not able to hold back the annoyance in his tone.

Ron looked at him. "Maybe she's right might. We don't if he'll attack again or not," the redhead said.

"Don't you think it wise to have someone with you just in case?" Hermione implored.

Harry closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He didn't want to argue with her or Ron and figured he could slip away later to talk to Draco. It wasn't a dire need, or anything, he just had a few things to discuss with the blond. "Fine," Harry snapped, beginning to walk towards the portrait hole. He heard shuffle behind him, but didn't turn to look, guessing that Ron and Hermione were following. He didn't care. _Sod them,_ he thought resentfully, _sod them both._ He could protect himself and didn't much care for the implication otherwise, though he knew that wasn't true. There was always the kind of situations that required that extra help and having it could always be a plus. Still. He ignored Hermione and Ron's attempts at conversation and continued to walk on determinedly.

Hermione went quiet after a while, as did Ron, and an awkward silence fell between the three. The group made their way out to the court yard and Harry took up residence under one of the trees that dominated the large area. Ron and Hermione took sears as well and Harry leaned his head back against the trunk of the tree.

Despite what he kept telling everyone about feeling fine, he didn't feel completely that way. He hadn't slept well last night; too stressed, too accosted by nightmares. He was edgy and snappy and just in a generally foul mood. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't made more of an effort to seek out Draco; he may have said something too harsh, and then he would feel guilty about it. He needed to cool down first and relax a bit, which was why he had wanted to be alone. He needed time to think and just let go for a moment. Besides feeling edgy his arms itched something fierce. Not for a blade, specifically, but for _something_. He scratched at his right arm through the sleeve of his shirt, closing his eyes. He had the feeling things were about to get extremely hard for him – had since late last night – and that was also making him anxious. His gut feelings had an uncanny ability to be right too often for his comfort.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice spoke, breaking the silence. Harry sighed.

"Yes?" he enquired evenly.

"What do you think is going to happen now? I mean with Voldemort having regained his followers and everything. He had been pretty quiet so far. Do you think this is the start of it?" she asked quietly. Harry thought about that, but had to disagree. He believed 'it' never really stopped. Voldemort had just been biding his time as he planned and plotted on ways of getting his body back. Fourth year would be when it really started, if a person wanted a more concrete answer. It was when Voldemort had succeeded in coming back – really coming back. He was whole with his own body and everything. He was tangible, and even more dangerous for being so. Harry was mildly surprised at his friend's question. He tilted his head back up and looked at the Ron and Hermione, both of whom sat to his left.

"No," Harry said at last, shaking his head. "I don't believe it ever really stopped. From what I understand, Voldemort had lain in wait for years working out ways to 'resurrect' himself, you could say." Harry paused, and then brushed his fringe from his eyes. "This? This is the start of a new chapter. As to what will happen now? I don't know, but I can assure you that Voldemort isn't going to be quiet any longer. He'll have plans and such." Harry said quietly, grimly. He looked across the courtyard, not seeing anything before him. Each year so far had been a new chapter in the journey of Voldemort resurrecting himself.

And now…

This current attack was Voldemort replenishing his forces, though Harry doubted he hadn't been recruiting. This was the start of something bigger, but it wasn't the start of it all, by any means.

"So You-Know-Who is going to start attacking more now," Ron said.

"Voldemort," Harry corrected absently, and then blinked and looked back to his friends. "And most likely, I'd say, especially with him regaining those that had been sent to Azkaban. He's happy and what better way for a sadistic bastard like him to celebrate than by killing a few dozen people?" Harry said cynically, shrugging off their looks. If he was Voldemort he would probably do just that. He shook his head and firmly pushed that thought from his mind.

"Hmm," Hermione hummed thoughtfully. "I don't know. Maybe he'll pull back for awhile and let his recently freed followers recuperate a bit before attacking again," she sounded doubtful of her own suggestion, though.

Harry looked back out over the courtyard and narrowed his eyes. Then, he snorted. "He could do that, pooling all his power and sources – readying them, you know – and then strike. Or, he could strike with his capable Death Eaters now and let the other recuperate. If he cared enough to do so, that is," Harry said. "Then again, he could do neither and completely surprise us."

"All we can do is wait and see," Ron said grimly, scowling at nothing in particular. Harry nodded, but didn't say anything. It was the truth, really. All they could do was sit and wait to see what would happen.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was hard to believe that the now empty Quidditch field was overrun by Dementors and trolls the day before. It was hard to believe that yesterday his father had been freed from his imprisonment, but Draco was no longer in denial about that. He was now thinking about other things. Gazing out over the pitch, Draco wondered, not for the first time, why things were going this way for him. He had the feeling that even if he had chosen to still join the Death Eaters that life wouldn't have been easier. Draco sighed and resisted the urge to rub a hand over his face, not wanting to draw the attention of the others.

He, Blaise, Greg and Vince were sitting in the Slytherin section of the Quidditch stands, having come out after breakfast since the visit to Hogsmeade had been cancelled. A little ways from his small group sat Pansy and three Slytherin girls, chattering away annoyingly. They had followed them out there after hearing Draco say where they were heading. It irked him that Pansy had followed him, but there wasn't much he could say. Fortunately, she and her group had taken up residence down a ways from them and Draco only caught their conversation vaguely.

The students were still in a state and the _Prophet_ over dramatized article wasn't helping. It talked about the other places that were attacked along with the casualties, plus what was known of the prison breakout. Draco was sure some of what was written was sorely exaggerated. While who escaped hadn't been mentioned – _the Ministry hasn't calculated the full scope on those who have escaped,_ the _Prophet_ had said – it painted the picture of the potential danger vividly. And it definitely did its job of striking a chord among people.

But this wasn't what was really important to Draco; not at this moment at any rate. He was thinking back to last night and his meeting with Dumbledore. After a few options were presented to him, he had been given time to consider what he wanted to do. Both Severus and Dumbledore had instructed him to think thoroughly and carefully about his decision. And Draco intended to do just that.

"You've been awfully quiet today, Draco," Pansy's voice broke the comfortable silence. Draco held himself from rolling his eyes at the curious tone.

"I realize you have a hard time shutting your mouth, Pansy, but some of us like to have silence while we think. Something you'd know about if you took the chance to do it," Draco drawled sarcastically. Snickers erupted around him, but Draco merely smirked at the indignant look on the girl's face.

"I was only asking because you seemed to have a lot on your mind," Pansy snapped, her nose in the air. Draco did roll his eyes this time.

"Well, then, why not leave me alone?" Draco asked pointedly.

Pansy sniffed, and then looked at him. "What were you thinking about?" she asked. Draco growled lowly. Couldn't she take the hint that he wanted silence? His friends had easily seen this and adjusted accordingly, but Pansy Parkinson? Hell no, she had to pester and prod until he snapped.

"What do you think? Not that it's any of your business," Draco sneered, giving her a dismissive glance. Pansy made a noise in her throat and Draco thought – idiotically – that she would shut up.

"About your father?" she questioned, voice pitched low even though their two groups were the only one's around. "Don't worry, Draco," she said, in a tone he thought was meant to be reassuring and sexy. It made his skin crawl. Her voice was low and drawling, holding the hint of a tease in it. "Potter will get what's coming to him, just you wait and see."

Draco snorted and tossed his head back, an arrogant smirk crossing his face. "I have no doubt of that, Pansy. Do you honestly believe my father will let something like this go so easily? Potter was part of the reason he went to Azkaban in the first place. Really, Pansy; don't state the obvious," he said haughtily, as if the very suggestion otherwise was ludicrous. Inside, Draco was thinking about how much the girl – and his friends, if he thought about it – really needed to grow up. They didn't even know what was in store for them with this coming war, or if they became Death Eaters. Draco, himself, only knew a bit more than them, but what he knew gave him a bit more insight. He had seen from his father's own memories what a Death Eater was expected do; things that made him feel sick and disturbed. He couldn't imagine going those things, not even to muggles and 'mudbloods'. He wanted to choose the best option that would keep him alive, but one that he could deal with best without losing anymore sanity.

Draco sighed quietly and turned to gaze out over the pitch, dismissing Pansy and ignoring her huff of irritation. "Well," he drawled, rising from his seat. "I've got some things to do, so I'm going to head in. I'll see you later," he said, focusing the words towards Blaise, Greg and Vince pointedly. He began to make his way down.

"Where are you going, Draco?" Blaise called out curiously.

"I've got some work I put off doing that I need to do," he replied simply, not stopping his progress. He _did_ have work to do, but he wanted to be by himself for a bit also. He wanted to talk to Harry, too, but knew it would have to wait until he had securely appeased his vast fan club that he was okay. He had seen the commotion the Gryffindor had received upon entering the Great Hall that morning and knew Harry would be tied with reassuring the masses. Besides, Draco just wanted to yell at him for rushing off like that yesterday during the game when the Dementors – and then the trolls – came.

He made it to his room without trouble, where he got settled on his bed, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. He sighed, staring up at the canopy, but not really seeing it. Truth was he had more concern about his decision than he previously acknowledged. He had friends in Slytherin – as much as the other houses thought otherwise on the matter. Slytherins did tend to make friends just like everybody else; those friends just came with the added bonus of being advantageous to you when you needed them to be, especially if they loyal to you. And – even if he hadn't spent much time with them that year – Blaise, Greg and Vince were those friends for him, unbelievable as it was.

He wondered how his decision would affect his friendships, his status and stature and his life in general. Would the actions of the father forever follow the son, just as those of the ancestors? Most likely, but Draco had always wanted to prove he was better. Better than others in general, better than Harry Potter and better, even, than his own father. You could only be compared to someone so much before bitterness starts to set in. it wasn't out of some urge to prove he was good, deep down, though. It was the ambition to prove he was capable of being a mature, competent person independent of his father and all those stereotypes people labeled him with. How would his decision affect all of that?

Draco sighed heavily and turned onto his stomach, pillowing his head with his arms again. There were more factors to this situation that he had considered originally and he hadn't realized the full scale of things until his meeting with Dumbledore and Severus. He wondered how he could have made the decision not to join the Death Eaters, and, yet, not think about all the consequences and factors. Then again, he was always a lot more impulsive than any Slytherin had any right to be.

Draco snorted to himself at that, remembering several comments from his father about his impulsive streak. He had been the same as a child, even though his father had tried to teach him differently. Even as a child his fathers had strived to make him what he wanted him – Draco – to be. And while he had learned most of those lessons, the impulsiveness never quite faded. No wonder so many of his schemes had failed when he was younger.

But now he needed to think. Impulsiveness couldn't rule this decision one bit. Draco just wished someone could make the decision for him; not that he wanted someone controlling his life, as such, but he had never expected to have to make such hard decisions while still young. Of course, before now, he had blindly followed his father's 'guidance' and allowed the man to plan his life, or, more accurately, he didn't do anything to stop him. He would be the one making decisions now, though, and he didn't plan to make the wrong one.

His life depended on it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn't until Sunday evening that Harry and Draco finally got together. After slipping the blond a note, Harry had received a reply stating that Draco wanted to see him too. They had decided to meet in a different place, though, as Draco would just be getting off prefect duty. So Harry went ahead and set up the Room of Requirement – something comfortable and relaxing for them. Harry was standing outside the door, waiting for Draco to show up, hidden underneath his invisibility cloak. He was leaning against the wall, knowing Draco would probably be there soon.

The last two days had been filled with talk of the attack and what it could all mean. Even the _Prophet_ was publishing all sorts of articles with the most recent attack. Along with the articles there was much speculation going on about what would happen next. It was causing a lot of added anxiety to the students, who had been giving him odd looks for the past two days that had begun to annoy him. He had to use a lot of self-restraint to keep from snapping at people, because along with all that he was beginning to suffer from his nightmares again. They hadn't affected him in at least two months and he was a bit agitated with the renewed lack of sleep.

Harry shook his head and sighed softly, banishing the thought of his nightmares from his head. He didn't want to think about them right now. He glanced up the hall and felt relief flow through him when he saw the shock of blond hair turning the corner. He removed his head from the cloak as Draco approached and gave the slightly startled blond a tight smile.

"I wish you wouldn't do that. It's creepy," Draco complained quirking an eyebrow at Harry when he simply titled his head towards the door beside him and walked in after opening it. Draco rolled his eyes and followed, shutting the door behind him. "What with the silent, mysterious act, Potter?"

Harry sat on the big, comfortable looking couch, relaxing back into the soft cushions and tilting his head back with a sigh. Draco smiled wryly and stretched himself out on the couch with his head in Harry's lap. Harry looked down at the blond, who looked back, smiling slyly. Harry rolled his eyes, but didn't tell Draco to move. "Nothing much," Harry said, finally answering Draco's question. "I'm just a bit off-center, you could say."

Draco nodded against Harry's thigh. "The attack at the Quidditch game?" Draco guessed.

"Among other things," Harry said, unconsciously slipping his fingers into Draco's hair and stroking them through the silky blond hair. Draco was only vaguely surprised by the action, but it was relaxing so he didn't say anything. "I found out some things the night of the night. First off; why did you never tell me that _Snape _was your _godfather_?"

Draco felt shock course through him at the question that was almost an accusation. He breathed out slowly and rolled his eyes at the other boy. He hadn't really thought much to say anything about it, but when he did Draco always kept in mind the hostility between Severus and Harry. "I knew how you felt about Severus, Harry. Besides that, I didn't think it was important. Would it have really matter any if I told you before?" Draco asked, looking up at Harry and quirking an eyebrow.

Harry raised his other hand to rub his face, briefly stopping Draco's petting. He pursed his lips, and then sighed. "I might have thought you had ulterior motives – well, more than I was already thinking anyway. I would have been suspicious if you were telling my secrets to Snape – which I am, by the way. Other than that; no, it probably wouldn't have mattered past that, but I would have been more cautious with what I told you," Harry said, resuming the petting when the blond leaned his head back into Harry's lax hand.

Draco closed his eyes, enjoying the fingers that combed through his hair. "Would it make things better if I told you that Severus doesn't even know we're on good terms, let alone, ah, dating?" Draco asked, sounding a bit unsure. They hadn't actually classified what was happening between them.

Harry gave Draco's hip a squeeze in acknowledgement, but didn't say anything otherwise on the subject. "Yes, it would, because I would hate to have to kick your ass because you told Snape my secrets," Harry said lightly. Draco chuckled, feeling the gathered tension begin to ease again.

"Whatever you say, Potter," Draco said. He knew that when it came to telling his godfather about everything, that it wouldn't be an easy conversation and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"I also had a visit from Dumbledore that night. I think he may know – or, at least have a vague idea – that we aren't enemies anymore," Harry continued. He explained the conversation to Draco, who nodded with a slightly annoyed look.

"Bloody old man," Draco muttered. In a louder voice, he said, "Yeah, it sounds like he might know." Draco debated on whether to tell Harry about his meeting with Dumbledore or not. He saw no reason not to, as he already knew there had been a meeting. Harry just didn't know what it had been about. Besides that, Harry would find out anyways, sooner or later, and Draco rather it is from him that Harry found out. Draco explained about how he went to Severus not long after the game. He told Harry about the talk they had without much detail, which led him to talking about his Easter break and the mission he was assigned. When he felt Harry tense up, he turned to look at the other boy to see him giving him a somewhat suspicious look. Sitting up, Draco gave Harry an irritated look, suppressing the flare of hurt he had felt at the look.

"If I had really wanted to go through with that mission, do you think I would have told Severus, Dumbledore or you, Potter?" Draco snapped.

Harry looked at him for a long moment in which Draco seriously considered hitting him. Hadn't he proven himself trustworthy yet? _Obviously_, Draco thought, looking at Harry still, _he still expects me to betray him_. And that hurt more that Draco was willing to admit. He had wanted Harry Potter's friendship since day one, but that hadn't happened. Then, after years of animosity, he found out Harry wasn't all he thought the boy was and they finally became friends, and then something more lately. Even if he wouldn't ever admit it to anyone and would firmly deny it to himself; Draco didn't want to lose what he had finally gained.

Finally, Harry sighed and gave Draco a small smile. "I guess you wouldn't have if you had planned on going through with it," Harry said. Draco continued to glare and Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said.

Draco smirked in satisfaction and put his head back in Harry's lap. "You're forgiven," he said, tone smug. "You may continue," Draco drawled imperiously, running a hand over his head for emphasis. Harry snorted, but resumed his early activity. Silence reigned for long moments, before Draco continued on, telling Harry about him and Severus going to Dumbledore and what transpired from the meeting.

"So I've got time to make a decision, but it has to be before the end of the school year," Draco finished, opening his eyes that he had closed. Harry was silent, absorbing all he had been told. He breathed out slowly to gather his thoughts.

"Will you tell me your decision when you've finally made it?" Harry asked, surprised at what came out his mouth a bit. He thought he would have been giving Draco not-so-subtle suggestions on what to choose, not asking to know once the blond made his choice.

Draco, too, was surprised at what Harry said. With a small smile, Draco said, "Yeah I'll tell you what I decide." Privately, Draco thought, _you'll be the first to know if I can help it._

There was another silence in which Harry continued to pet Draco and Draco continued to relax against Harry's thigh. Then, Harry chuckled throatily. "Well, Snape won't like this one bit – our friendship or our dating each other. I can't wait to see his face, though, your godfather or not, Draco," Harry said, laughing a bit harder. Draco could feel the vibrations as Harry laughed and couldn't help laughing along with him.

"I'm sure Severus will be furious and will likely rant, but you're right. I can't wait to see his face!" the two had a good bout of shared mirth over that. After calming a down a bit, Harry tugged on Draco's hair lightly and the blond looked up at him. Harry leaned down and kissed Draco, softly at first, but soon the kiss turned into something more passionate and heavy. Draco slid a hand up Harry's neck and gently gripped the hair at the nape of his neck; even as he opened his mouth under Harry's probing tongue. They stayed like this, kissing enthusiastically, until air became a necessity. They pulled apart, both breathing heavily with dark, swollen lips. Draco took this break to sit up and maneuver himself so he was straddling Harry's thighs. Without preamble, Draco dove back into the kiss and the two boys' slid their arms around each other.

Harry's arms tightened around Draco's waist, pulling the blond closer. Two loud groans split the silence as their hard erections rubbed together with delicious friction. The kiss deepened with the action; tongues probing deeper and teeth nipping at tender flesh as they began to rock lightly against each other. Harry slid his hands from Draco's back where they had been idly caressing, down, and cupped Draco's ass in each palm, jerking the blond's hips down against his.

Draco clamped Harry's bottom lip between his teeth and tugged gently as he ground down. "Harry," Draco rasped out, and then moaned as Harry latched onto his throat with teeth and lips. A harsh bite was soothed by a tongue gently bathing the area. Harry gave Draco's a neck a firm suck, before pulling back and scattering licks and kisses on the pale throat.

"What do you want, Draco?" Harry murmured, delivering a sharp nip to the underside of Draco's jaw.

Draco took a shuddering breath and tried to gather his thoughts. He knew what he wanted – in an embarrassingly bad way – and was wondering if he should breach the subject or not. He was nervous and he didn't understand why. He'd had sex before; Draco was very much aware of what was involved in the act, so why was he nervous? It couldn't have anything to do with Harry, could it? Draco mentally shook the thought away as Harry placed another nip on his throat. "I want you to fuck me," Draco said, more breathily than he would have preferred.

Harry tensed at the words, abruptly ceasing his ministrations to Draco's throat, even as the words went straight to his groin. Did he really hear the Slytherin right? He swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat and pulled back to look at Draco's face. He felt anxious, even though he had thought – and dreamed – about doing such with the blond. "Are you sure?" Harry asked, somewhat shakily.

Draco groaned down, and then smirked at Harry. "Yes," he answered simply. Harry's breath hitched, both at the action and words, involuntarily thrusting up and squeezing Draco's buttocks in his hands. Harry finally nodded jerkily, even as he realized why he was nervous. He'd never had sex with another man before – though, he has thought about it – and it had him more anxious then ever. He'd done other things, but full out sex wasn't one of those. Would he be any good?

"I've never done this! With a guy, I mean," Harry blurted out, feeling ridiculously embarrassed. Draco smiled that small smile that crossed his face sometimes when he was with Harry, even as he pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"I have and I'll talk you through it. Now, shut up and kiss me," Draco demanded, pressing his lips to Harry's.

Harry chuckled a bit shakily, but it soon faded and he was kissing Draco back. He was still nervous, but excitement was beginning to work its way through him at the thought of what they were about to do. As they kissed, Harry moved his hands to take off Draco's shirt, running them from his ass up and under the pull over shirt he was wearing. He caressed up a hard torso and firm flanks, inching the shirt up in the process.

Draco pulled back and helped tug off his shirt, tossing it carelessly to the side without a backwards glance. Looking at Harry, Draco put his hands of the other's shoulders, squeezed lightly, and then dragged them down the shirt covered chest and stomach. When he reached the hem he clutched it and began tugging it up, eager to see Harry's tanned body again. Harry let out a breathy chuckle, lifting his arms to help in Draco's mission. His shirt, too, was tossed aside carelessly. Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry again, taking his chance to caress the bare chest and stomach freely.

Harry slid a hand up Draco's back, feeling the bones of his spines under his finger tips. He folded his hand around Draco's neck and pulled the blond in closer, deepening the kiss. He moaned as Draco undulated his hips, grinding down against him, and he reflexively clutched Draco's ass that still rested in one palm.

Draco was breathing heavily, his lips red and swollen and parted slightly as he sucked in breaths rapidly. His arms were locked around Harry's neck; fingers weaved into the hair at the nape. He bent his head and nipped at Harry's ear. "Take it off," he breathed into his ear, before sucking on the lobe. Harry pulled back reluctantly and looked at Draco curiously. "The glamour," Draco said quietly, pulling back to look Harry in the eye. "Take the glamour off, Harry."

Harry's eyes widened at the request, and then narrowed with a calculating gleam that many never saw. "If you remove yours," Harry said resolutely. Draco shook his head and smirked.

"Slytherin," Draco hissed teasingly, causing Harry to chuckle. Slowly, his mirth died and he looked at the blond intently for a long moment, before reaching for his wand on a side table. He pointed it at himself and cancelled the glamour, exposing all the cuts and scars on his arms and upper body. He let out a sigh.

Draco looked him over, taking in everything, looking at some things longer than others. He traced a thumb over the lighting bolt shaped scar on his bicep and gave him a questioningly quirked eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Taking hold of his own wand, he removed the glamour calmly. "Its part of us," Draco said simply; and that simple statement touched a chord in Harry that he couldn't name. He pulled Draco into a fierce kiss, swallowing the gasp the blond made. Draco kissed back just as fiercely, digging his fingers into Harry's shoulders. Trailing his fingers down Harry's shoulders and chest, Draco grazed over flat nipples, pinching them into small nubs. Harry gasped and arched into the touch, suddenly realizing it wasn't enough. He needed more; more skin, more touch, more _everything._ Harry moved his hand to trail along the top of Draco's pants, before moving them around to unbutton and unzip them.

_This would probably work even better with a bed,_ Harry thought hazily, pulling back to work on getting Draco Malfoy out of his pants.

"Well, that's interesting," Draco drawled. Harry looked up at him as the blond rose to his feet and began removing his pants and underwear and shoes.

"What is?" Harry asked, distracted by the smooth, pale planes of Draco's body.

"That bed that appeared from no where, right over there," Draco replied, pointing in some direction behind Harry. He was now completely naked and Harry appreciated the sight very much, but he was sidetracked by the comment. He looked behind him and was only slightly surprised to see a four poster bed with blue bed cloths.

"The joys of the Room of Requirement," Harry said wryly, reaching out and tugging Draco to him by the hips. "It provides whatever you want. Obviously." Harry ran his tongue over Draco's chest, curiously flicking a nipple and causing Draco to arch and moan deliciously. He nipped gently at the small nub and Draco slid his hand into his hair, cursing harshly.

"Fuck! Do that again, Harry. And when you say 'whatever' do you mean anything a person wants?" Draco asked.

"I suppose so, but I'm not completely sure," Harry mumbled as he tongued Draco's navel. He moved his hands down and cupped Draco's bare ass.

"Mmm, you know the basics, right?" Draco asked rhetorically, sliding his fingers into black hair and leaning into Harry's ministrations. Harry nodded absently as he moved down and dragged his tongue over the head of Draco's cock. "Right; how about we move to the bed," Draco suggested in a strangled voice, thrusting forward lightly. Harry nodded and released the blond, who back up and began heading for the bed while Harry rose from the couch, rubbing at his hard cock through the jeans he still wore. "Take off the pants, then, and get over," Draco demanded impatiently.

Harry chuckled, feeling a bit of nervousness resurface, but not as much as before. He toed off his trainers, and then began on his jeans. He finally pulled off his pants, and then his boxers, before making his way over towards the bed. "You're an impatient little thing, aren't you?" Harry asked, amused.

Draco made a noncommittal noise in his throat and pulled Harry towards him, kissing him hard. "So, how do I get something I want from the room?"

Harry balanced himself on his hand and knees above the Slytherin, circling his free hand around the base of Draco's shaft and stroking slowly. The angle was slightly awkward, but Harry managed. "Think about what you want," Harry breathed into his ear, licking the shell. "It should appear. Be specific."

Draco snorted, but closed his eyes and concentrated. He opened his eyes when he felt a sudden weight in his hand. He looked to see a big tube resting in his palm. Well, then. Draco gasped when Harry squeezed the base of his cock, even as he suckled a nipple and rolled it with his tongue. "Here," Draco ground out, wanting to get to the good part. Not that what Harry was doing _wasn't_, but Draco was eager to further the proceedings.

Harry looked up to Draco's face, and then to the hand that the blond had lifted. Harry took the tube, trying to suppress his anxiety. He knew what was about to come – not pun intended. While he had been given hands-on teaching of how to give a blow job, he had only been given the explanation of how sex worked between two men. He had been a bit disturbed by the idea at first, but it had slowly grown on him, helped along by dreams and time spent along with his hands. "Right then," he said, and then cleared his throat, embarrassed, when it came out as a croak. "Right," he said more evenly.

Draco lifted his head and looked at Harry, amused. "Don't worry," he said, seeing the look in Harry's eyes. "Think of this like riding a broom," and he grimaced at his choice of words, but continued nonetheless. "only reversed in positions. You were a natural at that – and don't you ever repeat that or I'll gut you alive – so take it all a step at a time."

Harry stilled and looked at Draco for a moment, before bursting into laughter. "That was a horrible description! But it did make me less nervous," Harry said between chuckles, leaning down and taking Draco's bottom lip between his teeth, before moving to kiss him. He pulled back after thoroughly invaded the blond's mouth and sat back on his shins, looking down at Draco and opening the tube of lubrication. He squirted some into his hand, adding a bit more at Draco's instructions. Spreading the cool substance on his fingers, he warmed it slightly, before looking back at Draco.

**(Look on one of the accounts in my profile - Not hexfiles, because I haven't updated that in awhile, because I need a beta. Any other site there you can look for the deleted scene if you want to read it.)**

Harry shuddered and collapsed onto Draco, sated and exhausted. Draco seemed to be in a similar state as his legs fell limply from Harry's waist. They were both panting heavily.

Draco could feel minute tremors racking his body as he slowly cam back from his sexual high. That had been intense. Harry had hit his prostate enough times to make the experience great. Slowly, his heart ceased its rapid beating and his breathing came under a steadier pace. He shifted and decided to rouse Harry, as the boy's body was finally beginning to feel heavy to him. "Harry, move it, you're getting heavy," Draco said.

Harry let out a weak chuckle at that, but rose and pulled himself from Draco. "Sorry," he muttered, flopping back down on his stomach next to the blond. He had his head turned so he could look at Draco. "You alright?"

"I'm bloody amazing," Draco quipped, turning on his side with a slight wince. Harry eyed him a moment, before nodding and smiling tiredly.

"That was good," Harry said with a sigh. Draco raised an eyebrow at that.

"I think I deserve better than 'good'," Draco teased, the beginnings of a smirk twisting his lips.

Harry grinned at the banter. "What do you mean 'you deserve'? I did all the bloody work!"

Draco smiled full out. "My ass was the one giving all that delicious pressure to you cock, Potter. I think I deserve a bit more credit."

Harry gave a low, rumbling laugh, lifting himself up onto his elbow. "If you say so, Malfoy. It was great, better than I thought sex with a guy would be." Draco simply smirked in satisfaction, before reaching for his wand to clean up the mess. With a flick and a muttered spell all traces of semen was gone. He set his wand aside again and lay back down. Harry scooted closer and pulled the blond near him, feeling the press of bare skin. Then, he pulled the Slytherin into a languid kiss, sucking on his bottom lip. They kissed for long moments, simply enjoying the easy going kiss with lazy satisfaction.

There was silence for a bit, before Draco spoke. "We should probably be heading back to out dorms soon," the blond said quietly. Harry simply nodded and Draco didn't press it. They were both feeling relaxed and too good to get up at that point. Harry slid a hand over Draco's stomach, tracing the contours with his fingers lazily. He mapped an old, faded scar on Draco's side that was about three or four inches long in a slightly ragged pattern.

"Where'd you get that?" Harry asked quietly.

Draco looked at him for a moment, and then sighed softly. "This past summer, at the manor, I used a piece of glass because I didn't want to get my dagger which had been too far away at the time," Draco said, shrugging awkwardly from his position. Harry hummed, before removing his fingers. "And wasn't one lightning bolt scar enough for you?"

Harry chuckled derisively at that and shook his head. "I was feeling particularly bad when I did that. I don't even know _why_ I did it like that."

"I would say you're weird, but I'd feel too much like a hypocrite. I do think it looks cool, though. Much better than your other one," Draco said. Harry gave him a funny look, and then shook his head with a wry smile.

"How we could find something so morbid, so cool, is beyond me," Harry said with amusement in his voice. As if to prove his point, Harry leaned down and licked the scar on Draco's side he had been playing with earlier with one slow, long draw of his tongue. Draco shivered slightly and Harry pulled back with a smirk. "Let's get dressed and get out here, yeah? We _do_ have classes tomorrow, you know."

Draco snorted, but rose from the bed anyway. "Yeah, we should do that," he replied. They dressed, talking and teasing each other good-naturedly as they did so. Harry was amazed at the lack of awkwardness between them. He was sure it would come later, once he really thought about it all, but right then it was nice to just feel relaxed. Once he was dressed, Harry pulled out the Marauder's Map and his cloak.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"I think that's cool _and_ bloody convenient," Draco said, looking down at the map. Harry had shown it to him not to long ago and Draco had been completely amazed by it.

"See, Gryffindors are good for something," Harry teased, still looking at the map.

"Hmm, yes, they are," Draco said suggestively, leering at Harry. Harry flushed and shifted on his feet. _Ah, there's the awkwardness,_ Harry thought.

"Anyway, the first three floors down are currently clear, including this one. Fourth down has got Filch on it, but he's not where you need to go," Harry said.

"I'll use a Disillusionment Charm to keep me hidden. We can't all have invisibility cloaks, you know," Draco said with a put upon sigh. "I'll be fine."

"If you get caught, I promise not to laugh too much at your misfortune," Harry teased.

"Thanks Potter. Really," Draco drawled dryly. The two walked towards the door, ready to separate. Draco turned and pushed Harry against the wall, attaching his lips to the others. Harry got over his surprise rather quickly and the engaged in a long, hard kiss. Draco pulled back and smirked at Harry, who grinned back. "See you later, Scarhead," Draco said, performing the spell.

Harry donned his cloak with a chuckle. "You, too, Ferret," Harry replied. The door was opened and the two departed from the Room of Requirement silently.

Back in his dorm, lying in bed, Harry thought about what had happened that night. He could feel the – most likely – goofy smile on his face and the blush on his cheeks as he did so. He couldn't believe he'd just shagged a bloke and Draco Malfoy at that. It was such a wonderful experience, but Harry had to wonder. Would it change things between them? Would there be awkwardness there that had faded once they had become real friends? They were questions that plagued his mind, but for now he would simply sleep and be content with the memories of that night.


End file.
